gigglinggoblin
patreon
Weekly (?) Update
🕑 Added 2021-11-03 17:01:49 +0000 UTCHello, my lovelies!
So, things are going okay. Canceling this month's payment was sort of the "panic button" for me, but nothing is falling apart. I've been working on self-forgiveness lately. I am currently working pretty steadily every day, keeping up with both NaNoWriMo and my smut writing, but being "behind" is the kind of thing that clings to you like pitch, beyond all logic and pragmatism.
Here's the breakdown:
I have about fourteen commissions due by the end of the year, plus a few Patreon/Ko-Fi items like the Gretel vs. Mistlefauns story, plus Bonus Pairings and Bad Ends. Of these, nine are basically completed (90% drafted or just in need of editing).
Drafting a story takes between 1 and 3 days, and editing it usually takes between 1 and 2 days. When I'm able to work actively, I can write as many as 4-5 chapters in a single day.
In theory, this equation looks pretty straightforward. Even with NaNoWriMo, I could hypothetically catch up on everything I'm behind on just in time for the Christmas decorations. Unfortunately, my routine is sort of a glass cannon. If I start to feel like I'm not doing "enough", things fall apart rapidly.
Oh, and remember that "I can write 4-5 chapters in a day" thing? Yeah, my standards for "enough" tend to be "completely batsugar insane".
It's sort of a binary. Either I'm doing fantastic or I'm stuck fast, and I can go from "I haven't even started yet" to "just need to run spellcheck" in the space of 6 hours. On the other hand, I can be within "a day's work" of finishing a project for a solid month. This makes keeping people updated on my progress very difficult, even when I do my best to do so in good faith.
It's not about the amount of work, it's about the amount of pressure placed on that work.
Like I said, I'm working on self-forgiveness. It will help. I might also talk to my doctor about depression or bipolar, because, well, these mood swings don't feel so much like ADHD a lot of the time.
The current routine is something like this: I get up, take my Adderall, steal a shower, grab breakfast, and sit down at my "workdesk" (currently an ugly old recliner and a TV tray tucked in the corner of the open floor kitchen/dining room area), avoiding touching anything with internet connection until I've at least written a little bit and gotten into the headspace. Once a week, I go back to sleep after the Adderall, giving myself an extra hour or so before work. I can also take a 30-minute halfnap after writing for a bit, but aside from that, I write until noon or until I've written 3,000 words. I take 2-3 days off each week to do editing and contact peeps (hi, peeps!). And once every two weeks, I do a "marathon day", writing all day with a specific goal in mind and specific rewards for success (consequences for failure, too, but they're things like "drop this commission" or "no baking for a week"--more aimed at reducing a clearly untenable workload than punishment per se).
This routine has been pretty successful, and I believe it's sustainable, which is what really matters.
In Conclusion
Anyways! I'm okay. I'm in an upswing right now, and finally feel able to start catching people up to speed. I may even have a chapter or two edited in time for this Friday, if things go well.
I'm going to try sending an update like this out every week or two. It's good to take stock, and I it's a helpful journaling exercise for me. I don't want it to become a stressor, though, so I may alternatively never post another one of these again. We'll find out! :P
Comments
Dabbling In Darkness
I hope you have a good Thanksgiving!
Vanhel
Glad to know you're doing better! And as Pratchett once wrote: "Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up." Remind people of that when they get petty about a deadline extension ;)
Edward Langdon
Like Val Lay says, you aren't alone with this! Working on self forgiveness is such a great thing to do. I hope you can keep it up, regardless of whether that results in writing more or not. Good luck ^.^
Lorelei
I'm waiting for a reply.
Lorelei
Totally! I get scolded a lot when I ask for a "last-minute" extension on a deadline, and I hear variations on "why didn't you tell me there were problems" all the time, but the truth is, if I'd been able to communicate the problems earlier, I also would've been able to just write the commission to begin with, because they tax the same muscle.
Val Lay
you arent alone! im so glad this system is working for you. im not going anywhere.
Alice
totally resonate with the binary of "I'm rocking like a Boss" vs "Waaaaah! I'm painted into a corner with no way out! Too much to juggle! Ferret-shock! **THUD**" It's so frustrating especially in how bizarre it appears from the outside. "Yes, theoretically I could take one step at a time... but my brain does not actually possess '1 step at a time' gear"
Violet Velvet
Thank you for the update, it's good to know you're on an upswing now. I'm happy with whatever you're able to put out, and I just want to see you be happy with what you do. Best of luck to you, looking forward to the next post! Take care please!
Titan7
Thank you so much for providing this update. I am very happy that your on the upswing and your feeling up to writing. Though please make sure keep yourself health both physically and mentally. Lastly, I saw your twitter feed, I hope everything going alright with your Patron. Anyway, looking forward to your future works.
Yo just keep crushing it dude I'm here for the long run
Chronozen
Is everything okay with your page now? I saw your earlier tweet about it.
