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Heterosex Ch. 10: BugSnax
🕑 Added 2022-07-25 21:49:56 +0000 UTCSteve
The doorbell rang.
“Dang, someone must be early,” I said. “Let me go get that real quick.”
I opened the door to see my gaming buddy Adam. “Fashionably early, I see.”
Adam chucked very slightly. “Yeah, I just headed here straight from work cuz it’s closer to the office than my house is.”
“Well, come on in! Uh, we’re still working on the pizza so it might not be the most exciting, but make yourself at home.”
I saw Maddy peeking out of the kitchen. God, she was cute. “Oh, Maddy! This is my friend Adam. Adam, this is my girlfriend Madeline.”
“Nice to meet you!” Adam said, extending a hand. Maddy seemed to entirely miss his attempt and a handshake and instead gingerly waved.
“How do you know Steve?” she asked softly.
“Sorry, what?” Adam said.
“N-never mind,” she muttered.
“No, I just missed what you said. Could you repeat it?”
“How do you know Steve?” she said more loudly.
“Oh, we wargame together! Or used to, anyway. Scheduling is hard.”
“Oh, like the minis he paints?” she asked.
“Yep,” Adam confirmed.
“Oh, that reminds me! Adam, I got a resin printer. It’s supposed to be really good for minis. Although that resin is pretty nasty stuff, so it’s out in the garage next to an alcohol bath and a respirator.”
“Rad!” Adam said. “We’ll have to try that out. After all, I think Games Workshop already has more than enough of my money.”
“But do they have… 40K?” I asked. Adam groaned. “Boooo.”
“I don’t think I’d have the patience to paint those tiny guys,” Maddy said. “At least with digital art if you mess up you can just undo.”
“I try to focus on the process, not the result,” I said. “It’s sort of… meditative. Even if some of my marines have some, uh, imperfections.”
“If you really fuck up, you should just say they’ve been corrupted by chaos or something,” Adam said.
“Heh. Good idea. Anyway, uh, back to the pizza! Guess we should start on the sauce.”
“Don’t get lost in the sauce,” Maddy said.
“Well, wouldn’t want to pay that cost. You’re the boss.”
“Am I?” Maddy asked.
I shrugged. “I mean, I’d like to think my relationships with others are generally non-hierarchical.”
She laughed. “Okay, nerd.”
“Why thank you,” I said, and poked her nose.
“You two are disgustingly cute,” Adam commented. “Anything I can help with in the kitchen?”
“Hmm, I think we have it covered,” I said. “Feel free to turn on the TV or any of the consoles, if you want.”
“Will do,” Adam said, before he ambled out of the kitchen towards the living room. A moment later I heard him exclaim. “Dude, when did you get a PS5?!”
Maddy laughed. “Steve, you miracle worker.”
I shrugged. “I just wrote a script to keep checking sites for one on sale. And I, uh, probably paid significantly more than I should have for it. Oh well. Uh, where’s that big can of ‘matoes?”
“‘Matoes?” Maddy asked.
“Oh, that’s what I call tomatoes. Well… I maybe just came up with it.”
She laughed. “I got what it meant, but I just don’t think that’s real slang. Silly.”
“Harumph. You say tomato and I say… two ‘matoes.”
“But when will they introduce the three-mato?” she pondered.
I snickered. “Oh, wait, I think it was in the pantry. Lemme go check.”
“Wow, I never knew pans grew on trees,” Maddy said.
“That one’s not getting a laugh. Sorry.”
“Damn. Mission failed. We’ll get ‘em next time,” she said, which I assumed was a reference to something.
I gave her a quick smooch on the forehead. “You may have lost the battle, but you’re winning the war.”
“Alright, Sun Tzu. Go get those, uh, ‘matoes.”
“Yes ma’am!” I saluted and then was off… a few feet and into the small room right off the kitchen. Ah, there they were! A big beautiful can of San Marzanos.
I returned to the kitchen with my spoils, and fished the can-opener out of a drawer. “Oh, Maddy, can you mince some garlic? Cutting boards and knives are next to the fridge.”
“On it!” she said. “Probably won’t be very fast, though. I, uh, don’t exactly cook a lot.”
“Not a problem!” I reassured her. “Really, when it comes to garlic, I only have one strong opinion.”
“And what’s that?” she asked.
“That garlic presses are a scam.”
“Huh. Good to know. Well, I guess they can’t legally stop people from selling them, though.”
“What do you mean?” I wasn’t really sure what she was getting at.
“You know… because of freedom of the press.”
I cracked up. “Maddy, you’re very silly.”
She threw a small piece of garlic at me. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
I beamed at her. “It was.”
Suddenly, I heard Adam shout from the other room.
“Everything okay?” I yelled back.
“Yeah, this goddamn BugSnak just got away.”
I laughed. “Alright! Back to cooking then, I guess.”
“Aw, I love BugSnax,” Maddy said. “That game has shockingly good queer representation. Anyway, sorry, I can continue giving you my takes on media while cutting garlic.”
A moment later, she cried out in pain. “Ow! Goddamnit.”
I rushed to her side. “Maddy, you okay?”
She looked up at me, clutching her finger, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “I just cut myself a little. I’m sorry I’m so stupid and incompetent. I can’t even cut vegetables right.”
“It happens all the time!” I said. “Maddy, please be nice to yourself. I don’t even know how many times I’ve cut myself cooking, especially when I didn’t have much practice yet. The biggest thing is to realize that sometimes the knife will slip, so you just never want to have your fingers in its path. Now, let me see that finger.”
She offered her hand, which I gently took into mine. She just had a small nick on the fleshy pad of her left index finger. I got my first aid kid out of my miscellaneous kitchen drawer and quickly had it wiped with alcohol and applied a small butterfly adhesive bandage.
“Maybe you could go watch Adam play BugSnax?” I suggested.
Maddy pouted at me. “No, I wanted to help you in the kitchen. Unless you don’t want me here?”
“Of course I want you here!” I said. “I just thought maybe you would want to take a little rest after something stressful happened. If you want to keep cutting garlic that’s fine, although your bandage might end up smelling a little garlicky.”
She sniffed and gave me a weak smile. “How about we switch jobs?”
“Sure thing!” I said, and handed her the can-opener. I watched for a moment as she finished the last quarter of the can’s edge and put the opener down on the counter.
“Which pot did you want the sauce in?” she asked.
“The saucepan out on the counter by the stove,” I said. I liked to get everything I needed for cooking out and on the counter before I even started.
Maddy wrinkled her nose. “Why don’t they call it a sauce pot?”
I shrugged. “Truly, the English language is a mystery. At least I don’t say SAUCE-pin like Binging with Babish.”
“I bet your whisk is bigger than his,” she said.
I laughed.
“Fuck yeah!” Adam yelled from the other room.
Just as I finished mincing the garlic, the doorbell rang.
“Wow, everything’s happening at once,” I said.
“I’ll get it!” Maddy volunteered.
I smiled at her. “Thanks, cutie.”
She smiled back, before biting her lip. “I hope it’s someone I know,” she muttered.
I watched as she headed for the door. I was proud of her working to overcome her social anxiety.
Maddy
I opened the door to find… a guy I distinctly remembered having classes with in high school. I wanted to say his name was Sean? Shawn? Something like that.
I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Was he going to recognize me? Deadname me?
“Oh, hi!” he said. “I’m Sean. Uh, you must be Steve’s girlfriend?”
“Y-yeah,” I managed after a moment. “Uh… c-come in.”
I stepped aside as he came through the door, and then shut the door after him. Sean looked around for a moment. “Oh, hey Adam.”
“Hey, dude!” Adam said from where he sat on the couch.
“Oh, sorry, what’s your name?” Sean said, turning to me.
“M-Maddy.”
“Nice to meet you, M-Maddy,” he said, then laughed a little. “Sorry. Hi, Maddy. Is Steve in the kitchen?”
I nodded.
“Cool. Uh, where should I put these down?” For the first time, I realized he was carrying a stack of board games.
“Uh, coffee table?” I suggested.
Sean nodded. “Dude, move your feet!” he said to Adam.
Adam took his feet off the table’s glass top and sighed. “Gamers really are the most oppressed.”
Sean put the stack of games down and straightened his shirt a little before turning to me. “You know, you look really familiar. Did we go to high school together?”
I froze. After what felt like an eternity, I manage to squeak out a syllable. “Nyeah.”
“What?” Sean said, laughing a little. “Did you say nya? You a catgirl?”
I could feel myself shaking. I managed to get to the far end of the couch from Adam and plop down.
“Whoa, you okay?” Adam asked, probably noticing my pale face, wide eyes, and borderline hyperventilation.
“Steve?!” Sean shouted.
Steve immediately came rushing over. He seemed to take just a moment to assess the situation, before plopping down in the middle of the couch. I felt my breathing and heart rate slow as he gently put one arm around me and stroked my hair with the other.
“I’m really sorry. Was it something I said?” Sean asked. “Should I… leave?”
Steve turned his head to face him. “You must have really triggered her anxiety. What did you say to her?”
“I just asked if we went to high school together. She looks kinda familiar. I’m sorry. I didn’t think that would be a big deal.”
Steve
“Well, fair enough,” I said. “I’m not going to kick you out for asking that. Kind of just an unfortunate situation. I wouldn’t say anyone did anything wrong.”
I turned back to Maddy. “Mads, you okay now?”
She silently nodded. “I’m sorry,” she said in a hoarse whisper.
“It’s okay. It’s okay,” I said to her. “Try to focus on the feeling of your back and legs on the couch. Your chest falling and rising as you breathe.”
After a moment, she let out a loud exhalation. “I think I’m okay now. Thank you, Steve.”
“Of course!” I said.
Maddy cleared her throat, and then seemed to briefly wince at the sound she just produced. She turned to Sean. “I… I’m sorry. I have a lot of issues with, like, anxiety, and high school just dredged up a lot of bad memories. It’s nothing about you specifically. R-running into people from high school just makes me really anxious. I’m worried they’ll be shitty about how I’ve changed since then.”
“I’m really sorry you had such a bad experience,” Sean said. “To be honest, I think I remember us having classes together, but I’m not completely sure. I want to say you were pretty quiet and in a bunch of honors classes and always wore a big hoodie? Anyway, I’m sure everyone has changed a lot since then. Maybe people have grown since then, and things would go better than you expect.”
Maddy
“Maybe,” I muttered. “And yeah, that does sound like me in high school. But you didn’t remember my name or anything?”
Sean shrugged. “I can’t say I did. I’m sorry. Honestly, I don’t remember most people from high school very well.”
“Well, c-cool,” I said. “I, uh… kinda changed my name since then? And I don’t really like hearing the old one, so that’s just fine.”
“Huh, guess that worked out, then!” Sean said. “Well, I will try to not bring up the subject of high school in the future. Sorry about all that. Hopefully we can still all have a fun game night.”
I nodded. “I think we can.”
“Oh, frack, I need to stir the sauce!” Steve disentangled himself from me and rushed off to the kitchen.
I stifled a laugh.
“Man, Steve swearing is always hilarious,” Adam said. He offered me a controller. “You wanna BugSnax?”
I solemnly took the proffered controller. “I would love to.”
