JCollins
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Civilian life
🕑 Added 2025-02-09 19:29:28 +0000 UTCCivilian life won in the poll as the most requested subject, so here it is! I wrote some of this from memory, from the historical books I read in the past years. Like I said many times before, I am not a historian, so do not take these as The One and Only Truths - more like interesting tidbits about real historical times.
The resources I used:
Francois Trassard - La vie des Egyptiens au temps des pharaons (2002.)
Laszlo Kakosy - The history and culture of Ancient Egypt (2005.)
Families
Children and a good marriage were very important to Ancient Egyptians. Having children was regarded as a must to ensure the future of their empire and culture, so those couples who didn’t have children were kept in low regard. Children generally were cared for by their mothers or nannies, if the family could afford them. Girls and boys moved out of the house when they were able to support their own future family. Elderly people were generally cared for by their families. Essentially, the family structure was very similar to what we have today.
Adoption also existed as an alternative to when someone couldn’t have their own children, although this was not institutionalised like today. I didn’t find many resources on how this worked exactly, but as I noticed, people could pretty much ‘adopt’ anyone they felt close to.
So for example, if a man had an official wife, plus a concubine who lived in their house, if he had a child with the concubine, the couple (wife + husband) could adopt that child as their own, so like this, bastard children weren’t really a problem. Except, of course, if the child was born completely by accident from unrelated people, or if the wife didn’t want the kid.
Marriage
Marriage usually happened without much fuss or any official document. The families of the couple were the ones who had to agree to the union, and when at least one member of the couple (usually the man) had a good enough job to support the new family, the couple moved in together and from that point on, they were considered married.
Most of the time, the man was the older one in the marriage, and the age gaps ranged from 1-3 years, but of course, this doesn’t mean that everyone did this, only that this was the average.
The future of girls and boys were usually decided by their families during their adolescence, so at around 14-20 years old. Marriage and moving in together however, probably didn’t happen until at least one member of the couple had a good enough job to support the family. Those historians who say girls got sold off at 12 are pedophile apologists and should burn in hell.
Most Egyptians married for love. When there were concerns of wealth, land, or reputation involved however, things could get more strategic. Nobles often married for political reasons, or simply to keep the wealth inside the family, or to have a reunion with someone of the same economic level and increase the family’s wealth that way.
Polygamous relationships were allowed, but only to a certain level. A man had to have an official wife who was considered the matron of the household. The couple went to every public event together and they were also depicted together on paintings and such and were considered a union, a proof that they have their own family, which was a treasured thing in Egypt.
However, if the husband wished for it, he could also have other concubines who lived in the same house, but they were not given the title ‘wife’. In this case, the woman in question was considered to be a lower member of the family, and the man had to have the means to financially support and provide for her. So this arrangement was only available to richer members of society who could afford this, but even then, it was probably not the average. Based on poems and texts, most men only had one wife and that was it.
Women could not have more than one husband, but even men were only allowed to sleep with either their wifes or the official concubines. Everything else was considered cheating and could end in divorce.
Incest was outlawed. Cousins could get married, but even first cousins getting married was a bit frowned upon. They knew about the biological drawbacks, even if they couldn’t completely explain them.
There is something though that can make these records more muddy – the adoptions and nicknames. Married couples often referred to each other as brother and sister, as a sort of affectionate term, even when they weren’t related. So how do we know that when they talk about their loved one and call them ‘sister’ or ‘daughter’ for a younger woman, that they were actually related? If we use common sense, the answer is kinda simple: they probably were not. It was just a nickname. Because our ancestors weren’t stupid and they knew that marrying a close relative was not good.
Exceptions
The pharaoh, as the son of the god Ra, was an exception to all of these rules because they believed that the king had godly powers.
The king could get married inside the royal family, and he could have a family with sisters and daughters, although this didn’t happen as often as people like to think. Many pharaohs only had one wife through their entire lives. There were many cases too where the queen wasn’t even from a noble family originally. This seemed to have been a simple personal preference of the individuals.
The pharaoh could have several official wives too, although his main consort, the Queen of Egypt, was usually the same woman until her or his death.
The king could only have one queen, although he could give out different titles to the other consorts. Such titles were for example “beautiful daughter of the king”, or “beloved princess” or stuff like that. Which, again, brings the question… were these women blood related to him or not? In some cases, they were, because modern DNA analysis could prove it. But sometimes, this was not the case. Most of these people’s names were also only found in texts, and the human remains got lost through the centuries, so this is not something that can be proven either way anymore.
Divorce
Anyone could get a divorce in Ancient Egypt. Women could also initiate divorce, and they could go to courts to get their fair share of the couple’s wealth. Children were placed according to their personal agreements. Most often, the reason for a divorce was infidelity or sterility. There were also a few funny cases where the woman divorced her husband because he couldn’t get it up lol.
After the couple moved in together, they usually wrote a list of the different belongings they brought into the household. This served as an official document in case of a divorce or death.
Women were allowed to take everything they brought with them originally, and they also had the right to half of the wealth the couple gained during the marriage. If the reason of a divorce was the husband’s infidelity, usually both families took the wife’s side. In this case, the wife could gain even more from the divorce. If the reason for divorce was the wife’s sterility, the husband was still required to pay her for damages. If the wife was the one caught cheating however, she became a pariah.
Sexuality
Ancient Egyptians had a healthy attitude towards intimacy. A fulfilling, regular sexual life between married couples were encouraged and there are many letters and texts describing how affectionate people were towards their lovers.
Same-sex relationships probably existed the same way as opposite-sex relationships. The problem is, most historians from before the 21st century (and many still today) saw a text describing f.ex two women living together with a cat and a child where they referred to each other as ‘sisters’, and the historian automatically assumed those two women were actual sisters and there couldn’t possibly be anything more between them, even though in every other love letter, opposite-sex couples also refer to each other as sister and brother. Just something to think about.
In the game, couples from different gender identities and sexuality are regarded the same way as opposite-sex couples, with the added complications of course, so same-sex couples still have to have children one way or another to be regarded as well-respected etc.
Childhood
Children in Ancient Egypt had a calm and happy childhood, most of the time. They spent their early years next to their mothers or nannies, and they were the pride of families, just like being a mother was a very imporant role in society’s eyes. Couples brought their children with them to official events too, and they generally tried to provide a happy childhood for them.
Young children’s heads were often shaved, and they only wore bracelets or amulets against evil magic. On colder days, the parents put linen shirts on them, but otherwise, they were bare. When the child started growing, they got a child-braid, which was a single braid on the side of the head, the rest of the hair still shaved. Once the child reached adolescence, they cut the child-braid and they were allowed to grow their hair out or wear wigs if they wanted.
Schools
Schools were common throughout the country starting from the Middle Kingdom (so before the game takes place). Boys and girls could both go to school, if the family could afford the price. Kids usually went there from the age 6-10 and they learned reading, writing, mathematics, and other things. Noble families often employed private tutors too.
After general schooling, the students had the opportunity to learn more advanced subjects, such as literature, arts, law, medicine, astronomy, economics and others.
Home
The size and appearance of the houses ranged wildly according to the level of wealth. Poor families had to make do with a house as small as 20 m2 (or 215 ft2), which was often made from mud, clay, straw, and palm trees. Wealthy househoulds could be as big as 2000 m2 (21.500 ft2).
Usually a garden led up to the front of the house, surrounded by fence-walls and trees. The roofs were flat – there was no need for tilted roofs because of the lack of rain. They were often built on terraces because of the yearly floods of the Nile, and the roofs also had balconies and terraces where a steep outside staircase led. They didn’t have glass, so windows were covered by wooden panels or curtains. They cut small holes into the walls that worked as a sort of air conditioning.
In wealthy households, they had both public and private rooms. Bedrooms and women’s rooms were always private and only their closest friends and family members could gain entry. Public rooms, where guests could visit, usually opened from the garden.
Other rooms, such as the kitchen, storages, stables, and other utility buildings were also accessible through the garden.
When it was necessary, they used dried cow manure to make fire. Wood was expensive, so they didn’t use it for heating, and coal was only allowed to be used by the Royal Treasury. For lighting, they had oil lamps.
Water was gained from the many canals that Egyptians built into the land for watering fields and providing water to the cities at the same time. They also had wells and cisterns.
Hygiene
Bathing and general hygiene was very important for Ancient Egyptians. They bathed daily in the Nile or in lakes and canals. They had scented soaps and body oils for both hygiene and personal care. Wealthy people also had bathrooms inside their houses.
They cleaned their hair and teeth, and general hair removal was very common. Men and women were both encouraged to remove body hair for hygienic reasons, which they did with razors, tweezers, or wax. Many people, including women, shaved their head too for the same reason.
Beards were considered dirty and a sign of personal neglect.
These procedures were often done at home or at barbers.
Boys got circumsized when they reached early adolescence for hygienic reasons as well.
Jobs
The jobs in Ancient Egypt were often gendered. That didn’t mean that a person from a different gender couldn’t do it – it meant that the job itself had a gender. For example, being a pharaoh was a manly job, so if it was a woman who became leader of the country, she was, in her official role, often depicted as male. At the same time, many jobs, such as midwifery were considered female jobs, but men could do it too.
Every worker in Egypt was under official contracts and had the right to a fair salary, holidays, set work hours, and fair working conditions. Salaries were paid in different goods, since money didn’t exist back then. Such goods were beer, wood, oil, bread, flour, and other useful things. These goods were often stored inside giant warehouses, and the people traded through contracts and papers, which was written and counted for by official accountants.
Slavery existed but wasn’t overly common. Indebted servitude existed too, but most often, slaves were enemy soldiers who were captured in battles. If they did a good enough job for their owners, they often got freed and then they became citizens of the empire and gained full citizen rights.
The pyramids were not built by slaves either. Royal constructions employed paid workers in the months of the year when field works stopped (so during floods and winter for example).
Morals
Egyptians lived according to a strict moral code which they originated to the goddess Maat, who was the goddess of justice. These ethical rules included being kind to each other, to not be greedy, not do wrong to others, respect the elderly and loved ones, to not hurt others without good reason, and to live a good and honorable life.
These were usually taken seriously too because according to their religion, those whose hearts were found guilty by Osiris after their death, were doomed to eternal darkness, and could never gain entry to Aaru, the heaven, which was every person’s end goal after life.
Comments
J Collins
Aww yesss my evil plan to make others interested in my fixation is working 😈 Lol jokes aside, I'm very happy if I managed to capture your interest! I know history can be very boring in school, but it's so much more interesting when you read about things you actually want to read about. I also tried to make the game in a way so that even if someone knows 0 things about Egypt could get immersed in it without massive lore dumps :D
Noah
Thank you so much for writing all of this down. I'll be honest, before this game I was zero interested in old egypt but the game and the way you write it down here makes it soo interesting. 😅
