dupe
patreon
fresh meat, page 26
🕑 Added 2019-05-17 03:45:32 +0000 UTCsorry about the shabbiness of this page... i had computer problems that forced me to start from virtually scratch (only the first 2 panel sketches were intact) yesterday. i didn't really want to sacrifice my free day if i didn't have to, though. it messes with the whole schedule if i do.
it might look normal (that's the goal), and i won't list off all the reasons i shouldn't get paid for my time, but some thing i wouldn't necessarily let slide, like the camera pivot in those 2 vertical panels (very messy from a cinematography standpoint).
originally i was expecting this scene to be 2 pages. now it'll probably be 4. such is the way of pacing when pages need to come out with some level of immediacy, i guess, but it probably would have been longer than intended anyway.
i have to question the necessity of all of the beats and breathing room for awkward comic relief, but i'm the kind of person who would vow off laughter and happiness if i felt like it was able to be interrogated and voluntary.
regardless, on this page, some things are established: the sense of surveillance, and therefore the other characters' possible performativity even in non-therapeutic setting, in addition to checking back in on the linear brass-and-tacks plot of the story.
in terms of raw character development, these set expectations for kim and the reader to be built upon later with the more prominent supporting characters. many of the readers of this comic have been hospitalized at some point, and know what it's like already.
however, i think, when reading, you can be interested in a character's reaction more than your own, especially if you already know the given information -- you can insert some reference to filmmaking 101 regarding building suspense.
an ideal story for me is one that can be consumed in the standoffish way of a prospective audience member first - you wait for something new or smart to convince you the writing is "good," your own experience is the priority - then again, with more investment in the text purely for what ride it takes you on - you care more about the experience of the subjects (usually characters) in the text because your own has proven it was demonstrably safe to - then a third time to dissect how the story worked on you and the choices that were made - where you mainly care about the experience of the person or creative team behind the work.
it's a little difficult to feel like i'm layering all of those prospective goals in my own writing. i think i usually work backwards through stories where i consider the author's intent first nowadays, but sometimes i'll look for something completely new to me to shake that off.
Comments
bramblepaws
reeeallly digging the third and fourth panels especially, just the way you stylized the mouth and ears in particular is very nice to look at. it's interesting to see kim in this environment where like.... literally everyone around her can be a source of condescension and. like. general apathy/antagonism. interesting isn't quite the right word, it's anxiety-inducing in a way that i'm eager to see how she gets through it okay
gray Folie
most of the scenes seem to end up being around 2-3 pages so with minimal trimming to the script, probably the length of drop-out. this should be the last scene for this day (total of 7 days according to the outline), so that would be 1/4th of the way through it, as with the preamble and day 1 done, that's 2/8 chunks done. god i wish i'd pared it down to 30 pages, though... i'm going to see what i can do as i more thoroughly script out some of the latter half of the story, as a portion of the scenes still aren't fully written, just generally scripted/outlined.
DMITRY
I think i remember seeing you mention some time ago that you were expecting fresh meat to be about 30 pages; it seems like its gonna be longer now that its been set in motion (as usual with comics, lol), and for curiosity's sake, i was wondering if youve got a more current estimate on the length at all? :oc
