dupe
patreon
soft-pedaled, page 13
🕑 Added 2021-07-05 20:53:34 +0000 UTCthis comic has really been unfinished for too long...
i believe the next page will be last. the last thing i want to establish in the comic is the kid at the beginning's perceived representation of felix's child-self/childhood versus felix's trauma reaction in the present. felix needs to understand that they are focusing on the fixed, unchangeable past while their actions in the present can be accounted for and provide a sense of control over a very uncontrollable and unpredictable adult life.
i want felix to come to some of these conclusions on their own instead of being spoon-fed by izzi, but i want them to feel natural. hopefully i can cobble something together. this page works up to a conclusion where the reader knows that felix will apologize without any resolution about the initial triggering event. there really isn't much resolution to traumatic events a lot of the time, and it's frequently a tightrope i try, frequently awkwardly, to walk, because the acceptance that i can't turn it into something meaningful is really important to me. i've read a lot about how people who can construct meaning from traumatic events usually don't end up developing disordered reactions to said trauma, but my own attempts at authentically constructing meaning have usually led to overextending expected patterns of abuse and frenetically identifying patterns that i quickly throw away to use the act of constructing meaning itself as a healing device over confronting trauma.
some of the more complex reactions to the ideas of accepting that suffering can be meaningless and that one can move on without finding where it fits in their bigger picture are saved for drawing a blank, but the sentiment was definitely carried in here, too -- moreso than i had originally planned.
EDIT as of completion: felix's model is very, very messy on this page. i fixed them up, but i somewhat regret throwing that second eye into the 3/4 panel. i will need to play with his head shape a bit more.
also, page 14 will be split into two pages, as I am going to add a couple of continuity details missed in the sketch.
Comments
Abel Venn
hhhrgrgh god. i’ve missed this comic, i’ve missed felix. i relate to them... prooobably the most out of all of your characters, i think. i’m very very VERY excited for drawing a blank. i feel like i’ll be able to learn something or at least... i dunno, gain another perspective maybe. something. something meaningful will come from it i’m sure.
