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fresh meat, page 91 (flats)
🕑 Added 2021-03-08 06:06:27 +0000 UTCthis page was a pain for me. i just don't like carmilla's wrap-up, which i already said, so it's bleh.
this just hits a lot of beats that still need to be hit, like canonizing that these characters are gay, and that kim is bi -- although a lot of kim's reaction to sugar being gay were supposed to hint at that before. to me she reads as a character who has probably not really gotten comfortable with the label yet or met many other LGBT people. in my head, she didn't really have any idea what she needed as a reaction to coming out to other people, but she very much needed it to be the right reaction, or it would feel like devastating rejection. the casualness of the two other characters with their sexualities and carmilla's jabs probably led to it feeling like that more than anything.
carmilla's wrap-up was, interestingly, not supposed to be done with the sexuality canonization scene, but just kind of ended up that way. initially, her arc was supposed to happen fairly early compared to the other characters, in some ways to indicate that she was a character that would not change much in her continued presence.
in the original wrap-up scene, she would lean into a nurse who had been berated by a superior nurse to the point of crying in front of a line of patients waiting to leave the cafeteria due to the show of weakness. this would be a little too antagonistic even towards a staff member to be comfortable, and she questions carmilla about it. carmilla would explain a little about her mentality: she views people she doesn't like as books that she has read through completely. this was connected to a little "by-the-books" wordplay, where the scripted, clinical nature of the interactions with the staff reinforced that kind of dehumanization in carmilla's eyes. she would eventually double down on her lack of empathy for them by a line i'm kind of disappointed was removed: "books don't bleed." instead, she goes out with a fizzle out of necessity.
i don't remember why exactly i moved carmilla's finishing arc further and further back until i had to just put it here to complete the story, but it's honestly one of those things that i would definitely make a drastic edit to fix if the comic wasn't published in the format it is. i need to figure out how to re-release these comics in some "director's cut" way to justify edits, lol.
anyway, i think that's all i have to say about this page. thankfully, there are 2 and a half scenes(?) after this. this particular scene with carmilla has like half of a page left.
Comments
gray Folie
it's funny, while i'm writing her i have this clear context in my head that this is not the first time she's blown off a wedding by having "an episode" and needing to go to inpatient. this is at LEAST the second time. her fiancee i've always read as neurotypical, so she absolutely wholeheartedly believes these episodes cannot be helped and are unrelated to any specific event going on within the same time frame that could trigger them. very much the opposite reaction to jude's wrt mental health.
RJ
Carmilla’s face of disgust in the second panel. Kim’s squash neck. Fantastic. Kim’s desperate baby bi nervousness of Finally Meeting Other Real Gay People is very sweet and real. And 'why would you if you were planning to die’ in the context of Sugar’s story... whoof. Carmilla is a very good character and I like her a lot. I’m so interested in her self-perception. The vampirism, obviously, but also… I don’t think she thinks she’s in the wrong, like almost ever, but she does seem to instinctively frame herself as an antagonist. Your notes about how things would be different are always really interesting. Congrats on approaching the finish line!
Abel Venn
Oh I DESPERATELY wanna know more about Carmilla’s fiancée. Idk if it’s a very fair comparison to make but I’m thinking about Izzi’s ex wife and how she at least seemed to be like... “yeah ok i cannot. i cannot be with you.” but is still uh. Rrrrrrelatively cordial with her lmao. Also I love Kim’s desperately trying to fit in here, which is unusual because she tends to kind of keep to herself. I have a theory that this is her first real exposure to other wlw and there’s a mixture of like, excitement and embarrassment. especially because they’re both older than her. on another note i REALLY love the warmth of the last couple pages. even though it’s still tense it feels... relieving. so much of the comic has been set in cool, gloomy colors, so seeing this makes me feel optimistic. lovely work.
