dupe
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fresh meat, page 95
🕑 Added 2021-04-02 02:21:52 +0000 UTCsugar gets a lot of talking time in this page, as this is consider the "sugar arc wrap-up scene" -- i don't know how much i have to say about it, since it's characters talking, which means a Lot of headshots, and a lot of content that kind of speaks for itself, literally.
kind of cringe, but sugar's arc originally involved a lot more emphasis that this was her Last Chance to get better before she was a lost cause. jack (the mom she is referring to here) is not great with mental illness conceptually, as someone who has an untreated one herself, and had affected sugar's view of her own mental illness quite a bit.
much of this was softened and tweaked for the sake of reader perception (i am already very aware that jack is a character who has an uphill battle for neutral to positive reader perception), continuity with drop-out (it's much more fulfilling to feel that sugar lost her ability to hope for a better future over a period of years as her beliefs were worn down), and more thematic relevance to kim's character trajectory, while still maintaining the overall intent with sugar's arc.
originally, lupe was involved in this scene, and it was provided earlier, where lupe was very critical of some things that sugar mentioned about her mom, but kim provides a more general type of criticism that doesn't necessarily focus on many specific actions that can be critiqued. simultaneously, she still prods a weak spot for sugar here -- that something is wrong with her for seemingly no reason, as the next page will elaborate and finish.
kim herself here needs to deliver the final nail in a pillar of this story: that the ward didn't just not help, but actively made her worse. much of her dialogue was gone over to soften the intent of her words with qualifiers and bits of uncertainty. suicidal people often don't reach out for help, especially if they have been threatened or punished for doing so before, and when they do, it is usually, in some way, conscious or unconscious, a cry for help, expressing some intrinsic uncertainty with the perceived solution in suicide. it's very bold of her to talk about this in the open hallway of a ward where she was just locked away for a suicide attempt, jarringly and abnormally so. i have a feeling that this won't come across to some readers, but there is no eloquent and equally immediate way to reassure the reader that kim doesn't immediately go kill herself after the comic ends.
her age, gender, lack of a plan or specified date now, and release to family members who would undoubtedly be on high alert for some time after this, all contribute to a perceived comfort with having her as a character deliver this message, as they are indicators that even if she did attempt suicide again, it would very likely not kill her. still, kim has a set of reactions on the next page that is also supposed to help instill doubt about her resolve on the second attempt she talks about here as well.
readers who follow the story continually will eventually know that kim ends up "okay," but sugar is not a reader of the comic, and she will be left with a looming sense of uncertainty and dread about what happens to kim in particular, feeling uniquely responsible for her life in a way that antagonizes and influences how she copes with angel's death later.
anyway, that's all i have to say about this one, i think. shading likely won't be done until sunday. there are 3 pages left after this one, unless something goes terribly wrong.
