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fresh meat, page 96 (FLATS)
🕑 Added 2021-04-10 00:08:35 +0000 UTCas you can see, this page is longer than usual... so the shading will be a little bit late. i was also pretty disoriented and tired for half of this week from the vaccine, even though i wasn't necessarily running a fever.
after this are 2 more pages of the comic, and then it's over.
this page primarily slaps down sugar's optimistic argument, and bring her back to her more deeply-embedded beliefs. this is a belief that's more emotionally-driven -- ie, that it's a statement reflecting schematic views based on repeated observation of inner emotions, rather than external observations -- and would not really be adequately combated through rhetoric. therefore, the reaction would be emotional as well.
i don't think that kim necessarily took into account what the best reaction to have for sugar's sake would be, but probably reacted emotionally because this is a very relatable sentiment to her. i think that she's also capable of grasping, at this point, that restating her argument that the problem is Society and not internal would be unproductive and "rude."
a thematic throughline for kim's character arc has been developing "self-control" in some manner, both in restraining herself if it would be beneficial to her, and gaining control over her autonomy back from the ward. in this scene, a nod toward previous hints of self-control as seen with carmilla's scene after the last evaluation with fink is established on the prior page, and emblematic of its healing potential here with the hug. it serves as catharsis for the reader from the position of sugar, yes, but also kim herself.
i knew that the goal of self-control in this story with a loud character who wasn't necessarily in the wrong with how she expresses herself would be messy. in this scene i attempted to establish two rhetorical "pillars" to support the weaker sentimental value: 1) that the calm, placid demeanor kim has started to exhibit is actually a common unsettling, dangerous demeanor that suicidal people take on when they start to use a new plan as an inner locus of control, meaning that this newly found restraint is not exactly all good; and 2) she would most firmly establish this sense of self-control in a situation where she already has the upper hand, and did not necessarily need to utilize this restraint for the purpose of pleasing someone with power over her -- sugar "loses" this argument, and they are established friends where sugar has comforted her in a similar manner in a moment of pain and weakness. the hug also provides relief from tension built up during the conflict between these two.
this scene also needs to establish continuity and retroactive development for drop-out, so there is follow-up with the hyena breaking up this hug by telling kim to let go in a similar fashion to the climax of drop-out. in this context, letting go is "bad," and brings an end to an otherwise mutually engaged moment of healing, delivered in an annoyed, matter-of-fact way, as if speaking to an animal that won't let go of a bone.
a strong representation of the system breaks away the healing connection between people in hardship, and they share a silent moment where sugar could, at this point, drag kim back into the ward with her by saying something about the conversation they just had. in a very vague way, she tries to grasp for reassurance that kim won't attempt attempt to kill herself again after she leaves the ward with one more argument why she shouldn't.
when kim says "i hope i never see you again," it's delivered in a semi-joking way, but could easily mean "i hope i die" as much as "i hope we both never end up here again" to continue to straddle an ephemeral, bittersweet tone.
and then, kim doesn't see any of the ward members in this comic again.
Comments
Meredith Placko
this is a powerful page, thank you
Andrea Nolastname
Oh wow ...
