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FaD strip: the cage, part 1
🕑 Added 2021-12-21 04:03:33 +0000 UTCthis comic is very large, so i decided to split it at least in half. it's been a 2-month uphill battle to finish this comic, although i very much want to. it's also very hard to load as a full image -- i needed to close painttool sai and reload to clear some memory more times than i can count on both hands because of how big it is.
i thought about naming this one "the cage of rage" or "the cage of hatred" which reference an anger management concept and a more oblique affirmation that the cage in the title is not just the cage referenced in the metaphor, but a cage hurts is stuck in hating their inherent sense of vulnerability, as well as most of the people and "parts" around them. in the end, i decided not to define the cage as one specific thing.
this comic is really interesting for me to compare to previous FaD strips that take the form of interactions between dupe and gray -- the most titular folie a dupe strips. there are also several references to previous interactions.
i don't think i ever drew it in a strip, but they call each other "bitch" and "cunt" as a reference to nofna's first arc, 10%+. in the final third of the comic, two characters who hate each other begrudgingly agree to work together, with the exchange "help us out, bitch!" "of course.... cunt!" the comic was later edited to remove the curse words, so the original page is gone, as far as i know. still, the exchange of calling each other bitch and cunt persisted, and in this context "cunt" is invoked as an acknowledgment of familiarity and rapport than a direct insult.
"i'm 'just checking in'" is also referencing the interaction seen in tender mercies. later "that controlling streak" is referenced, first being referenced in brain trust -- the same phrase i'd like to title a follow-up strip to this one, where there is a Very notable uptick in the hostility between these two due to the later part of the exchange in the other half of this strip. we'll see how much free time i have with this hand of mine...
and obviously there's heavy referencing to "the breakup" here. i generally write strips to process, and also to sort of memorialize certain personal sentiments. after it's made into a strip, it can be revisited by the same "parts" who worked on it, or by other "parts" if they are interested in reading them. in this case, dupe (correctly) interpreted the completion of the breakup as an indicator that hurts had processed the events adequately and would be ready to talk about it, so this strip and completion of the breakup happened in close proximity -- even though the events of the breakup and the events of this strip still happened about 4 months apart.
the larger contrast in this strip versus past ones to me is still dupe's cadence, which changed drastically from the introduction of bupropion, which is a unique antidepressant that elevates dopamine, as well as a smoking cessation aid that reduces the desire to smoke altogether. although it's hardly the only emotion they're capable of feeling, their default tends to be placid, docile, and almost detached in some kind of blissful haze on the drug.
hurts's disposition is largely unaffected, if not slightly worsened, by it, though.
i'll never get why different "parts" can react to medication with so much contrast, but i guess it makes sense, as the different self-states in a segmented personality rely greatly, but not completely, on affective state.+
also, the hatchet guy was a real person, i just don't like thinking about him. once i moved states and didn't have to worry about him knowing where i live and coming to pick my lock some night, i just wanted to put the entire thing out of my head. still, i guess it affected me in some pretty significant ways that i couldn't avoid.
anyway. onto part 2. i would say 50% of it is done so far.
