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HC: Handyman | Ch. 217 - Catastrophe
🕑 Added 2025-07-10 10:18:51 +0000 UTCThe system message blinked to life, carrying a sweet note of triumph. Wave 40 Cleared. +1 Breach Point. You’ve defeated the Flying Marmoset.
The system message blinked to life, carrying a sweet note of triumph.
Wave 40 Cleared.
+1 Breach Point.
You’ve defeated the Flying Marmoset. +4 Breach Points.
A warmth spread through Jack’s chest. He’d soloed a boss—really soloed one. Just him.
"Jack, that was incredible!" Rob clapped him hard on the shoulder, nearly knocking him over. "The boss couldn’t do anything!"
Jack fumbled for balance, waving his hands to scatter the praise. "We just got lucky. The wind pushed it backward. That and Horace’s kaleidoscope, which made my CC stick for longer."
“You’re just being modest! Ha! The Breach is a cakewalk with our mighty bard beside us!” Horace announced, arms flung wide like a one-man orchestra that had just conquered a symphony.
“VICTORIIIEEE!”
Jack’s smile wilted. “Please, Horace. Don’t—”
“BRING IT ON, BREACH!” Horace bellowed toward the ceiling. “IS THAT ALL YOU’VE GOT?”
Jack slapped his forehead. “Horace, please. Don’t.”
“DID YOU THINK YOU COULD STOP MIGHTY JACK?! OR ALMIGHTY HORACE?!”
Marie and Rob laughed at Horace’s bravado. Everyone looked relaxed—except Jack.
Just because things had been going smoothly didn’t mean it was time to tempt fate. Piri—bless her snarky, cosmic heart—had been going easy on them. But the Breach was her domain, and if there was one thing Jack knew, it was that she did not appreciate heckling.
“IS THIS EVEN A REAL DUNGEON? SEND US SOME REAL MONSTERS!”
“Please, Horace! Stop it!” he hissed.
“Relax, Jack. Let him blow off some steam,” Marie said. “He’ll be annoying if he does.”
“Is just that…”
“What?”
Jack’s fingers drummed against his thigh. It couldn’t be a coincidence, right? The timing, the wording... it was too deliberate. Maybe he was overthinking it. Sure, there were the pink cockroaches and the One-Eyes, but that didn’t mean Piri was sending secret messages. Right? All probably coincidences.
Then the chime came.
You’ve defeated 10 waves without dealing any direct damage.
New achievement unlocked: [Bring it On!]
+10 Breach Points.
You’ve discovered a new Breach achievement.
New achievement unlocked: [The Mighty Warriors].
+50 Breach points.
“Woah! Look at these achievements!” Rob beamed.
“Oh my goodness! We’ve actually discovered a new achievement. We’re the first ones to pull this off. Ever!”
The laughter around him felt distant, warped, like sound underwater. Jack’s mouth went dry. He didn’t share the glee of his teammates.
Tremble before the mighty Horace… the mighty Horace… the mighty warriors. It was almost word for word. Bring it on. That was verbatim.
The Breach points were generous, sure—but the achievement names were far too similar to Horace’s words. As if Piri, bound by her code to reward them, was also whispering back through the system: I heard you.
Horace, naturally, noticed none of this.
“Muahaha!” he cackled, brandishing his hammer like a war banner. “Tremble before the mighty Horace and his courageous companions! You don’t stand a chance!”
Even the fortress soldiers were laughing now. “You tell them, sir!”
Another guard cheered. “Yes! We’re unstoppable!”
Jack raised his voice. “Horace, I’m begging you! Please, shut your mouth!”
“Uh? What’s wrong, Jack? What’s gotten you so wound up?”
“Can’t you see the names of the achievements? If you keep saying stuff like that, we might—”
A tone rang out—cold and sharp like a blade sliding free.
A new notification blinked across their vision.
It was too late.
You’ve triggered a new Breach event: [You Don’t Stand a Chance]
The smell of death around the fortress has drawn powerful creatures from the surrounding wilds. They are coming. Prepare yourselves.
The subsequent 10 waves will consist entirely of boss-tier enemies. Survive all ten waves to fend off the invasion and obtain legendary rewards.
Jack stared at the message, face pale. “We’re doomed.”
Marie tilted her head. “Uh? What just happened?”
Horace’s brows lifted. “That’s... that’s exactly what I said. What a strange coincidence.”
“Coincidence?” Jack snapped. “COINCIDENCE?!”
“Jack, why are you looking at me like that?” Horace asked, stepping back.
Jack lunged, grabbing him by the collar and shaking him like a vending machine that had eaten his snack. “WHY. DID. YOU. OPEN. YOUR. BIG. MOUTH?! I told you to stop!”
“I—I was just being motivational!” Horace squeaked, boots skidding on frost-slick stone.
“Do you understand nothing about the sadistic pyramid that runs this meat grinder?! You just had to poke the bear, didn’t you?!”
Horace turned to Rob, eyes wide. “Rob, what is your deranged cousin talking about?”
Rob wasn’t smiling anymore. “Jack... you don’t think—”
Jack nodded grimly.
“What are you guys talking about?” Horace demanded.
“Don’t you run dungeons, Horace?”
“We don’t do dungeons,” Horace admitted. “We prefer the open wilds.”
“But still... you’ve heard the stories, right? About what happens when someone starts sassing the Pyramid?”
Realization dawned in Horace’s eyes. “Oh-ho. This might be bad.”
Jack slumped against the wall, eyes locked on the glowing message. “This is it. We’re all going to die.”
His fear was contagious. Even the fortress soldiers had stopped cheering, glancing around with creeping unease.
Marie crouched beside him. “Come on, Jack. We’ll handle it.”
Rob nodded. “Don’t worry, cus. Most of those stories are exaggerations.”
But their words barely registered. They hadn’t seen what Jack had. They hadn’t felt it. The stories weren’t exaggerations—they were understatements.
The Breach was about to become hell on earth.
*
Jack dragged himself across the ditch, a dark cloud hanging over his head. The thrill of victory had faded, replaced by the heaviness of what came next.
However, he still trudged along. There was a battlefield to harvest. Stew to cook for a giant toucan and a crowd of NPCs who wouldn’t live much longer.
“I suppose I should make them a nice last meal,” he muttered.
He glanced at the countdown in the corner of his vision. The timer had changed. The numbers now pulsed like a heartbeat, and a skull icon had appeared beside them, grim and insistent. It didn’t bode well for them.
It was good while it lasted, he thought, approaching the still body of the Flying Marmoset. I guess we’ll go back to roaming the wilds, dodging IronIre as long as we can.
He crouched beside the fallen boss and pressed a hand to its side. The corpse dissolved into motes of light. Notifications unfurled across his vision:
You’ve looted [Flying Marmoset]
+15 gold and 45 silver;
5x [Marmoset Prime Tail];
[Flying Marmoset Skull];
[Flying Marmoset Pelt];
[Marmoset Gloves];
[Primate Agility].
The gloom didn’t lift, but it eased—just slightly. The loot was good.
There were the usual cuts of prime meat and bone, but it was the pelt that caught his attention.
Soft and plush, the fur was thick without being bulky, its black and white pattern flowing in elegant arcs. It looked light. Cozy.
He tried it on to see if it was any better than the mantle he was currently wearing.
Flying Marmoset Pelt (Rare)
A thick, fluffy pelt with a natural black-and-white wave pattern. Light and breathable, it’s favored by those who rely on mobility over raw defense.
Durability: 38
Item effects:
+9 Agility
+16 Jump
+30% Movement Speed
[Glide] (Active): You can glide short distances or soften a fall.
After swapping mantles, he immediately felt a looseness in his knees, a spring in his step.
“Oooh! Nice.”
He’d been using the cobalt chromie’s pelt, which granted a gear-grinding effect. Since he stayed in the backline during fights, he couldn’t use it to the full.
The [Flying Marmoset Pelt] offered fewer bonuses. No defense stats. No block. No strength, resistances, or constitution. Just agility and speed. However, it was better suited for him.
He preferred to be able to run faster than being tankier. If opponents got close enough to hit him, that meant that the battle was probably already lost. Then, there was the active skill that came with the mantle. He would be able to glide with this pelt. He could see it coming in handy.
Moreover, all the agility points would help him with crafting. The decision was easy.
Then there were the gloves. They offered solid agility and attack speed stats, and visually, they matched the pelt perfectly. Black stripes ran across the knuckles, and the lining inside looked just as soft. Of course, he couldn’t wear them, but they’d look good on Amari.
Finally, there was a book containing a passive skill.
Primate Agility (Uncommon)
A primatologist spent decades in the jungle studying primates and what allows them to move with such remarkable agility. He noted down techniques that, when emulated by humans, can enhance their speed and reflexes.
Effects:
Passive. Dashes become twice as long;
+10% movement speed.
Simple, but solid. Especially that dash enhancement. His [Dash] already gave him a 100% speed boost for one second. It was one of those humble skills that proved useful in nearly every situation. If it lasted two seconds now…
“I’ll definitely roll for it.”
Passive skills that boosted attributes or speed were rare. Everyone would roll for it, too. He winced, remembering how Amari had been scooping up the best rolls lately. Lucky streaks couldn’t last forever… could they?
With a quick burst of speed, he dashed through the battlefield, snatching up every last bit of loot. Then he turned back toward the fortress where the others were waiting.
As he approached, voices reached his ears.
“...we have the store,” Horace was saying.
“Right! But it’s not like we can kill ten bosses with just money,” Marie replied.
“I know, I know. But at least we can restock traps quickly. And if any gear-grinders come, we can buy new equipment.”
“I suppose that’s true,” Marie agreed.
“Hey guys!”
CAAAW!
Jack turned his head. The pterossaurus’s beady eyes had locked onto him, a chuffing trill building in its chest.
“I know, I know. I’ll get to it,” he said.
He tossed logs into the fire and began cooking.
“Just as we were settling in,” Horace muttered.
“Yeah. We could’ve stayed here another three days of game time, maybe more, with IronIre off our backs,” Marie said.
“On the other hand, if we do survive,” Rob said, “the rewards should be worth it. The event talked about legendary rewards. Legendary!”
Jack tossed a few marmoset tails into the sizzling pan. The meat popped and hissed as he sprinkled in salt and pepper.
“If I know anything about Piri,” Jack said, “it’s that she’s extremely vengeful. I doubt we’ll make it through nightmare wave number two.”
“Piri?” Horace looked puzzled. “Who’s that?”
Rob grinned. “It’s what Jack calls the Pyramid AI.”
“Haha. Clever.”
Marie frowned. “Hey, Jack—why do you call it her?”
Jack scratched his chin. “I don’t know. It just felt right.”
“Is it because you think a vengeful spirit must be a woman?”
Rob and Horace both shifted uncomfortably. Jack’s throat went dry. There was something in Marie’s voice—sharp and hard to read. Something that made Jack’s stomach twist.
“I-I don’t know. Maybe.”
Marie kept her gaze steady for a moment, then shrugged. “Yeah. I guess it makes sense.”
Horace shifted the conversation. “Well, we’ve explored the Breach as much as we could… I don’t think it’s worth looking for more packages. I guess we just sit tight and wait for the next wave.”
By then, the meat was ready. “Horace, give me a hand, please.” With the warrior’s help, Jack lifted the cauldron and carried it over to the pterossaurus.
“Here you go, birdie,” Jack said. The massive creature dipped its beak into the pot and gulped the stew down in one long draw.
The ptero-peddler , Molly sat by the fire, accepting a bowl from Jack with a cheerful grin. “Hmmm… delicious. Thank you, good man!”
“You’re welcome.”
For a moment, the group fell into a quiet lull, the kind that only came after battle and a full meal. They stared into the fire, half-thinking, half-wondering how to prepare for the next wave of bosses and elites.
A notification pinged.
AmariNinja has unlocked a new aid package: [One-Eye Reinforcements]
“Wait! What?!” Jack sat up.
“One-Eye army? What in the world?” Horace echoed.
One-Eye Reinforcements (Aid Package)
The One-Eyes living in the mountains had been estranged from their lake-dwelling kin for countless years. After you managed to resolve their conflict and unite their tribes, they pledged to aid you in battle.
Package effects:
The One-Eye lake tribe sends a squad of blowgunners
The One-Eye mountain tribe sends a squad of goat knights.
Jack blinked. He’d nearly forgotten about the furry, alien creatures living on the snowy peak. And now there were even more of them in the lake? Was that what Amari had been working on all this time?
A message popped up on the party chat. Amari was finally making contact.
“Hi, everyone. I saw the event notification. Sorry that it took me a while. I was just wrapping up this package. I think we should reconvene and go over our strategy. How about we take a break and meet in a virtual meeting room in about an hour?”
“Oh, right. We’ve been gaming for ten hours straight,” Jack muttered.
Horace cackled. “Haha, watch out, guys. You’ve probably peed your pants in the real world.”
“No way. That would never happen,” Jack said, grinning.
Rob scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah. Totally impossible.”
Jack squinted. “Rob?”
Horace burst out laughing. “Haha! Busted!”
“It was just once. I got stuck in a really long quest, okay?” Rob said defensively.
Jack sighed. “Mind if we take a 90-minute break instead? I want to squeeze in a quick workout.”
Everyone nodded or shrugged.
Jack sent a quick text. “Amari, can we make it 90 instead?”
“Sure!”
“All right then. See you all in 90.”
One by one, they logged off. The fire crackled gently as their avatars faded, and the fortress grew quiet once more. A short reprieve before facing the nightmare army closing in on them.
Comments
Cássio Ferreira
Thank you for pointing that out! It's fixed now.
Daniel Carswell
This chapter is in the cardslinger collection
MRKING 3
I found a typo in chapter 216, it's in the comments here on Patreon.
