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Sixteen the Hard Way -23-
🕑 Added 2025-07-03 13:00:37 +0000 UTCI don’t know what he expected, but me punching him in the gut probably wasn’t it.
“Oof!” he said, just like a cartoon character.
“You’re an ass, Kevin!” I accused.
“I’ve been told that,” he agreed, smiling. “Worth it,” he added.
I laughed at him. “Next time, I’ll aim lower,” I warned.
Still smiling, he nodded. “I’ll still be looking forward to it.”
“Huh?”
“Next time,” he said. “I’ll be looking forward to the next time I kiss you.”
About that time, Linda used her tiny fist to hit him right behind his left knee. He sort of collapsed sideways with a yelp that was almost a grunt.
“You leave Joni alone!” My littlest sister warned him. “She doesn’t kiss boys unless it’s her idea!”
My idea?
And suddenly, there was Donna beside me, too. She had a book in her hand, one of Linda’s picture books, thin but stiff and hard, and she held it like a knife. “I’ll smash your nose, Kevin Mills, don’t think I won’t or can’t!” She swung her weapon as if it were a batarang she intended to throw at him.
Just then, Jason or Markie, whatever Kevin’s little nephew was called, started to wail. “Let’s go Unka Kevin! ’S’go!” He pulled his uncle sideways.
“Okay, okay!” Kevin surrendered and retreated. A car flashed its lights, catching him in the glare.
Then Dad was there, saying nothing, standing beside me with Donna and Linda in front of me as we watched Kevin leave the playground.
I saw now that the car flashing its lights had been our own car with Mom behind the wheel. It came over the little hump that helped with the viewing angle and pulled alongside us between the concession stand and the playground.
We hurried toward the car, but Donna said, “Let’s not run,” which I was glad for.
“I’m not going to,” I agreed. Unless the doctors can do something for me, I couldn’t imagine running again. Even a hurried walk was a weird experience with the weights on my chest sometimes going in different directions. “I think I may need a stronger bra,” I gasped.
Donna slowed and took my arm just before we reached the car. “Don’t hurt yourself, Joni,” she said. I grunted a reply, feeling a strange sort of exhaustion.
Dad opened the rear door and we kids tumbled inside, Donna first, holding Linda’s hand. “We’re going home,” Dad announced.
“Movie’s not over,” Linda commented, clambering aboard and holding out her other hand to me. I took the hand and slid in beside her.
“We’ll see it on TV,” Dad promised as he got in the front seat. Mom laughed. “All aboard,” he declared as he and I swung our doors closed. “Let’s get out of here.”
“I’d heard Kevin Mills was a creep,” Donna mentioned, reaching across Linda to put her hand on top of mine. But she broke the feeling of solidarity by asking, “Was that your first time to kiss a boy?”
“I didn’t kiss him,” I complained. “He kissed me.”
“Yeah, right,” Donna said, making a gesture as if marking that down on a checklist. “I saw. Next time, punch lower.”
“Not going to be a next time,” I said, spoiling any firm resolve by joining Linda in a giggle. How was this even funny? I didn’t know but I laughed. “Not going to be a next time,” I repeated, still giggling.
Dad turned his head enough to say over the back of the front seat. “Glad to hear that.” He turned back to look across at Mom. “Things are confusing enough,” he said to her.
She laughed again, but added. “I’ll have to talk to Linda about it.”
“Huh? Me?” Linda asked.
“Linda Mills. Kevin’s mom,” our Mom explained.
“She can’t have my name!” Linda protested. “It’s mine!”
We all laughed at that, especially after Linda added, “It’s true! I use it every day!”
Dad laughed, too, but then he suggested we drive through Jack in the Box on the way home for burgers and tacos, and that got a cheer.
It turned out that somehow I had Linda’s book in my right hand, the one Donna had used as a threat. No one noticed until Dad was passing out food.
“Hey,” said Linda, snagging a bag of fries. “That’s mine! That’s my book”
I looked at the title, “The Granite Twins Find a Dinosaur. Yeah, it’s yours,” I noted, passing it to her in exchange for a burger, then exchanging the hamburger for a cheeseburger from Donna, who never eats cheese on burgers.
“Nice big book with sharp corners,” Donna commented.
“Yeah,” Linda agreed around a mouthful of potato. “It gots four of ‘em. It gots four twins, too.”
Which somehow required giggles from all three of us in the backseat.
*
We made it home and while it really wasn’t late, by mutual agreement, we all went to bed. I felt stuffed and logey, a grandparent word that meant slow and awkward. I had eaten my cheeseburger, one of Mom’s tacos and half of all the fries in the backseat, and drank a Coke. I ought to have felt jittery from the Coke, maybe, but I didn’t.
I got undressed, hanging the bra over the straight chair in front of my desk. I took in the disturbing sight of my bare chest, then quickly pulled on a pajama top. It strained to contain my new accessories. I made a face at the redhead in the mirror, and she stuck out her tongue. I knew how she felt, but it wasn’t my fault.
None of this was. I found the pajama bottoms and pulled those on, and even they seemed to fit oddly. I crawled into bed just about the time Mom scratched on the door. “I’m in bed,” I called to her, and she believed me.
“Good night, honey,” she murmured.
I returned the sentiment, but doubted it would apply to me.
Tired but not sleepy I rolled this way and that, trying to get comfortable. Unlike most San Diego homes, we had air conditioning, but I felt hot, even sweaty. The bags of flesh on my chest smelled like bread dough and had a slick texture. They were sweaty, I realized.
I kicked the covers off me, but then the cool air gave me a chill. I usually sleep on my side but no matter which way I turned, one boob draped over the other one making both of them sweaty. I tried lying on my back, and they sort of pooled in my armpits.
I lay there anyway, trying to go to sleep out of spite.
I guess it worked, but my dreams were weird. Kevin Hall was in one of them, and I had to explain to him that he didn’t get punched because he kissed me, but because he didn’t ask. “If you’d asked, I might have said yes.”
That woke me up. I lay there thinking about it. Would I have said yes? Probably not. I might look like a girl, but I have fifteen years of experience being a boy. Even if I wasn’t very good at it.
I lay there for a while longer before I realized that hunger was keeping me awake. Unreasonable, it was after 3 a.m. according to my clock, even if my stomach insisted it was time for breakfast.
I sighed and tried to roll out of bed, forgetting for the moment that the mechanics of doing something like that had changed. “Oof!” I complained but staggered to my feet.
A twinge in my back made me a bit more cautious when moving around, as I received some instruction on the physics of mass, gravity, and inertia. What did these things weigh?
Grumbling, I made my way to the kitchen and got down a box of cereal. Maybe a bowl of Cheerios would help me feel like going back to bed. Three bowls later, I staggered back to my bedroom, noting that my tenants were sweating again. What the heck caused that, I wondered.
Comments
Erin Halfelven at BigCloset
Front, too. :)
Michelle Kurtz
Finally Joni is baxk
Teri Ann
Marvellous, Joni is back :) I had to go and read again from the start. Dangerous things, cheeseburgers. Cattle are awash with chemicals these days. Speaking of which, I am very suspicious of the injection that Johnny received. I look forward to seeing more of Joni and the girls. Ah, maybe could have phrased that a bit better.
