Eddie Wilder
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The Black Belt Affair Ch. 22
🕑 Added 2025-09-08 13:30:03 +0000 UTCAshley had been cooking for hours. Jacob’s favorite lemon garlic chicken was in the oven, the timer showing twelve minutes remaining. A bottle of the pinot noir they’d discovered on their weekend trip to Napa three years ago stood open on the counter. The table was set with the good plates they never used, candles waiting to be lit.
She knew it was pathetic, knew that a meal and some wine couldn’t possibly erase what she’d done. But she needed to do something, anything that might create a moment of normalcy, a familiar touchstone from which to begin the monumental task of rebuilding what she’d destroyed.
In the bathroom, she studied her reflection critically. She’d taken unusual care with her appearance. Hair loose the way Jacob liked it, light makeup to hide the ravages of three sleepless nights, a soft blue sweater that matched her eyes and that Jacob had once said made her look like the girl he’d fallen in love with in.
The girl who hadn’t yet betrayed him in the most fundamental way possible.
Her phone sat on the counter, Jacob’s message still open on the screen. Its formality had sent ice through her veins when she’d received it, but she’d clung to the fact that he was willing to talk at all. That had to mean something, didn’t it? He could have just ghosted her completely, could have communicated strictly through lawyers from this point forward.
The fact that he wanted to talk face to face meant there was still a chance. Small, perhaps microscopic, but a chance nonetheless.
At 6:30 PM, Ashley lit the candles, dimmed the lights to a warm glow, and poured herself a glass of wine to steady her nerves. She sipped it slowly, rehearsing opening lines in her mind, all of which sounded inadequate.
“I’m sorry” seemed laughably insufficient.
“I made a terrible mistake” implied a single moment of weakness rather than months of deception.
“I still love you” was both true and, she suspected, completely beside the point.
The knock on the door at precisely 7 PM made her jump. Jacob had lived here until three days ago. He still had his key. The fact that he knocked rather than walking in with that key sent a clear message about how he now viewed their shared space.
Ashley moved to the door, her heart hammering against her ribs. When she opened it, the sight of him hit her like a slap to the face.
Jacob looked different somehow. Thinner, certainly. Had he lost weight in just three days? But it was more than that. There was a hollowness to his eyes, a tightness around his mouth that aged him beyond his twenty-six years. He’d always had a boyish quality, an openness that was part of his charm. That was gone now, replaced by something harder, more guarded.
“Hi,” she said, hating how small her voice sounded.
Jacob nodded once, not quite meeting her eyes. “Ashley.”
He stepped past her into the apartment, stopping short when he saw the carefully set table, the candles, the wine.
“You didn’t need to do all this,” he said, his tone flat.
“I wanted to,” Ashley replied, closing the door behind him. “It’s your favorite. The lemon chicken with-”
“I know what it is,” he cut her off, still not looking directly at her. “That’s not why I’m here.”
The faint hope she’d been nurturing flickered. “I know. But we need to eat, and I thought maybe...”
“Maybe what?” Now Jacob did look at her, his gaze direct and unflinching. “Maybe we could have a nice dinner and pretend everything’s normal? That I didn’t walk in and find you and Carlos having fucked on our bed?”
Ashley flinched. “No, of course not. I just thought-”
“What did you think, Ashley? Really. I’m curious.”
The bitter edge in his voice silenced her. She stood frozen, all her carefully rehearsed explanations evaporating under the cold reality of his anger.
Jacob moved further into the apartment, specifically avoiding the couch where they’d spent countless evenings curled together watching movies, reading, simply being together in comfortable silence. Instead, he stood awkwardly near the kitchen counter, maintaining physical distance that reflected the emotional gulf between them.
“Why?” he asked finally.
Ashley took a deep breath, understanding that his question encompassed far more than just the immediate circumstance of getting caught. Why had she started the affair? Why had she continued it? Why had she brought Carlos into their home, their bed?
“I don’t know if I can explain it in a way that will make any sense,” she began, choosing honesty over an easier lie.
“Try,” Jacob said. “You owe me that much at least.”
Ashley nodded, moving to the couch and sitting, hoping Jacob would join her. When he remained standing, she forced herself to continue despite the awkward distance.
“It wasn’t about you,” she said. “At least, not in the way you probably think. It wasn’t about something missing in our relationship, or not loving you enough.”
“Just not enough to stay faithful,” Jacob interjected.
Ashley winced but pressed on. “I’ve been trying to understand it myself. Why I would risk everything we have, had, for something so... temporary.” She twisted a strand of hair around her finger. “At first, it was just physical attraction. Carlos is... he has this confidence, this presence. And I was flattered by his attention.”
Jacob said nothing.
“But it became more than that. The sneaking around, the forbidden nature of it... it was like a drug. The more I did it, the more I needed to do it. And Carlos...” She hesitated, knowing the next part would hurt Jacob deeply but compelled toward complete honesty in what might be their final conversation.
“Carlos what?” Jacob prompted, his voice carefully controlled.
“He gave me something different. Something I didn’t even know I wanted until he offered it.” Ashley stared at her hands, unable to meet Jacob’s eyes as she continued. “He was dominant, demanding. He made me feel... I don’t know, consumed in a way that was both frightening and thrilling.”
“And I never made you feel that way,” Jacob stated, not a question but a realization.
“No, but that’s not-”
“Was it because I’m not built like him?” Jacob asked, a flash of his old insecurity breaking through. “Not muscular enough, not aggressive enough? Not man enough?”
“God, no,” Ashley insisted, looking up at him now. “Jacob, you are every bit the man he is. More, in all the ways that should matter.”
“Should matter,” Jacob echoed, catching the qualification. “But clearly don’t, at least not to you.”
Ashley had no answer for that, the truth of it stealing her words.
Jacob moved to the window, staring out at the darkening sky, his back to her. “How long?”
“A few months,” she admitted.
“Since when? Exactly.”
“Since your shoulder injury.” The memory of that first shower encounter flashed vividly in her mind, the thrill, the raw passion, the overwhelming guilt afterward that hadn’t been enough to stop her from doing it again and again.
Jacob nodded slowly, as if confirming a suspicion. “So while I was at home, trying to heal so I could get back to the gym, back to you... you were with him.”
“Yes,” Ashley whispered, unable to offer excuses.
“Did you ever...” Jacob paused, seeming to struggle with something. “Did you ever think about him when you were with me? When we were having sex?”
The question blindsided her. Ashley opened her mouth to lie, to offer this one small mercy, but found she couldn’t. Not now, not when truth was the only currency she had left.
“Yes,” she said, the admission barely even audible.
Jacob closed his eyes briefly, absorbing this new wound.
“Was he the first? Or have there been others?”
“No!” The question startled her with its unexpected direction. “Never. I’ve never cheated before, never even wanted to. This was... this was something different.”
“Different how?”
Ashley struggled to articulate what had happened to her, the gradual erosion of boundaries, the compartmentalization that had allowed her to maintain two separate lives without confronting the fundamental betrayal at their intersection.
“It was like I became two different people,” she tried to explain. “The Ashley who was with you, who loved you, who built this life with you, she was real. Those feelings were genuine. But there was this other Ashley too, someone I didn’t even know existed until Carlos... until he showed her to me.”
“And which one is the real you?” Jacob asked.
“Both,” she said after a long moment. “Neither. I don’t know anymore.”
Jacob studied her, as if trying to reconcile the woman in front of him with the one he thought he’d known. “Did you ever plan to end it? Or were you just going to keep lying to me indefinitely?”
“I tried to end it,” Ashley admitted. “After we talked, after I broke down and you forgave me, even though you didn’t know what you were forgiving. I really tried. I deleted his number, avoided him at the gym. But then he texted from a new number, and I... I went back.”
“Because you couldn’t help yourself,” Jacob replied, not accusatory but simply stating a fact.
“It sounds like an excuse.”
“It is an excuse,” Jacob agreed. “But maybe also the truth.”
Ashley stood, unable to remain seated under his steady gaze. She moved toward him, stopping when he subtly shifted away.
“I still love you,” she said, the words catching in her throat. “That never changed. Even when I was with him, I never stopped loving you.”
“That almost makes it worse,” Jacob replied softly. “That you could love me and still do this. If you’d fallen out of love with me, if you’d developed real feelings for him, it might actually be easier to understand.”
The timer on the oven beeped, a jarring interruption to the most important conversation of their lives. Ashley ignored it.
“I know apologizing isn’t enough,” she said, fighting back tears. “I know I’ve broken something fundamental between us. But if there’s any chance, any possibility that we could try to rebuild-”
“There isn’t.”
The finality in Jacob’s tone silenced her.
“I’m staying at Ryan’s for now,” he continued, his voice oddly detached, as if he were discussing business arrangements rather than the dissolution of their marriage. “I’ll look for my own place. The lease is in both our names, so you can stay here if you want, or find somewhere else. I don’t really care.”
“Jacob-”
“I need to get some of my things,” he cut her off, already moving toward the bedroom, their bedroom, the scene of ultimate betrayal.
Ashley followed him, maintaining distance but unwilling to let him retreat completely. “Can we at least talk about this more? Take some time before we make permanent decisions?”
Jacob paused at the bedroom door, his hand on the knob, visibly steeling himself before entering.
“I’ve had three days to think about nothing else,” he said. “I’ve gone over every possible scenario, every version of the future where I try to forgive you, where we attempt to move past this. And in every version, all I can see is you with him.”
Ashley kept quiet.
“Even if I could somehow get past that,” Jacob continued, “even if I could learn to trust you again, which honestly seems impossible... I’d never be able to look at you without wondering if I’m enough. If you’re thinking about him, comparing us, wishing I were different.”
He pushed open the door and entered the bedroom. Ashley remained in the doorway, watching as he pulled a duffel bag from the closet and began packing clothes, toiletries, his laptop. She noticed he was intentional in selecting items with no sentimental connection to their relationship. No gifts she’d given him, no shirts she particularly loved seeing him in.
From the bookshelf, he selected several well-worn science fiction novels, favorites he’d read multiple times, comfort reads for difficult moments. The sight of them disappearing into his bag felt symbolic, as if he were packing away not just possessions but pieces of their shared history, their intertwined identities.
“What about couples therapy?” Ashley suggested desperately. “People work through affairs. It happens all the time.”
Jacob looked up from his packing, something like pity crossing his features. “This wasn’t a one time mistake, Ashley. It was months of lying, of sneaking around behind my back. And even now, I’m not sure you really regret it, or just regret getting caught.”
“That’s not fair,” she protested, but the words rang hollow even to her own ears. Would she have ended the affair if Jacob hadn’t walked in on them? Or would she have continued, addicted to the thrill, the forbidden pleasure, until... until when?
Jacob zipped the duffel bag closed with a finality that made her heart seize in her chest. As he straightened, his gaze fell on the bed. Still neatly made with fresh sheets, all physical evidence of what had happened there erased, though the emotional stain remained.
“I loved you more than I’ve ever loved anyone,” he said quietly, still looking at the bed rather than at her. “I thought we were building something real, something that would last our whole lives.”
Past tense. Loved. Thought. Were building. The subtle shift to historical reference wasn’t lost on Ashley, and it pierced her more deeply than any accusation could have.
“We can still have that,” she insisted, taking a step toward him. “I made a terrible mistake, a series of terrible mistakes. But people survive this. Marriages survive this.”
Jacob finally looked at her, his expression a mixture of grief, anger, and what might have been the faintest trace of compassion.
“Some might,” he acknowledged. “But not ours.” He hefted the duffel bag onto his shoulder. “I need to go.”
As he moved toward the door, Ashley reached out impulsively, her fingers brushing his arm. “Please, Jacob. Don’t make a permanent decision based on temporary feelings. You’re hurt and angry, and you have every right to be, but-”
“This isn’t about anger,” Jacob interrupted, gently but firmly removing his arm from her touch. “It’s about seeing clearly for the first time. You showed me who you really are, Ashley. Not just by cheating, but by bringing him here, into our home, into our bed. By lying to my face day after day. By letting me believe in something that wasn’t real.”
“It was real,” she insisted, tears spilling down her cheeks. “My love for you is real.”
“Maybe. But it wasn’t enough.” Jacob stepped past her into the hallway, moving toward the apartment door with steady purpose. “I deserve more than being someone’s second choice, their backup option when the excitement is happening elsewhere.”
“That’s not what you are to me,” Ashley protested, following him. “Jacob, please. We can fix this. I’ll do anything. I’ll change gyms, I’ll cut off all contact with Carlos, I’ll-”
“It’s too late.” He reached the door, hand on the knob, but paused before opening it. For a brief, heart-stopping moment, Ashley thought he might be reconsidering.
Instead, he turned to face her one last time, his expression softening slightly. “I hope you figure out what you really want, Ashley. I hope you find whatever it is you were looking for with him. But I won’t be waiting around to see if you do.”
With that, he opened the door and stepped through it, closing it behind him with a soft, definitive click.
Ashley stood frozen, staring at the closed door, the reality of what had just happened, what she had caused to happen, crashing over her in waves of devastating comprehension. He was gone. Really gone. And with him, the future they’d planned together, the life they’d been building.
Her legs gave out suddenly, sending her crumpling to the floor in front of the door. The sobs came then, raw and primal, tearing from her throat with a force that left her gasping for breath. She curled into herself, arms wrapped around her middle as if physically holding herself together while something essential inside her shattered beyond repair.
The grief was physical, a crushing weight on her chest, a knife twisting in her gut. But beneath it lay something even more painful, the absolute clarity of knowing that this wound was self inflicted, this loss entirely of her own making. There was no external force to blame, no tragic circumstance beyond her control. Just her own choices, her own weakness, her own failure to value what she had until it was too late.
Ashley didn’t know how long she remained there, collapsed on the floor, her body shaking with the force of her sobs. Minutes or hours, time lost meaning in the vortex of her grief. Eventually, the tears slowed, not because the pain had lessened but because her body simply had no more to give.
From the kitchen, the forgotten dinner continued to warm in the oven, Jacob’s favorite meal prepared with desperate hope now sitting untouched, a testament to the futility of small gestures in the face of irreparable damage. The candles had burned low, wax pooling on the carefully set table where they were supposed to have sat together, looking toward reconciliation.
Instead, Ashley sat alone in the apartment they’d made a home, surrounded by evidence of their shared life. Photos on the walls, Jacob’s favorite mug on the counter, the throw blanket he liked to wrap around them both on cold evenings, all of it now transformed into artifacts of something lost, relics of a happiness she had held in her hands and carelessly destroyed.
The realization that had been hovering at the edges of her consciousness since Jacob walked in on her with Carlos crystallized into brutal clarity. Some mistakes couldn’t be undone, some wounds couldn’t be healed, some betrayals cut too deep for forgiveness.
She had made her choices, again and again, prioritizing momentary pleasure over lasting commitment, selfish desire over the love of a good man. And now she would live with the consequences, not just for days or weeks, but forever. The life she’d planned, the future she’d imagined, had slipped through her fingers, impossible to reclaim once spilled.
As the apartment grew dark around her, Ashley remained on the floor, facing the first night of a future she’d never wanted but had nonetheless chosen with every betrayal, every lie, every moment in Carlos’s arms.
The bed where Jacob had found them, where she had crossed the final line into unforgivable territory, now loomed in her mind. She couldn’t imagine sleeping there tonight, or perhaps ever again. The couch where they’d spent countless evenings seemed equally contaminated by memory and loss.
There was nowhere in this space they’d shared that wasn’t haunted by what she’d done, by what she’d thrown away. Nowhere she could escape the consequences of her actions, the irreversibility of the damage she’d inflicted.
For the first time, Ashley understood with perfect clarity what it meant to reap what you sow, to create through your own choices a reality you then have no choice but to inhabit. She had sown betrayal and deception, and now she would harvest loneliness and regret, not just for a season but perhaps for the rest of her life.
The timer on the oven had long since stopped beeping, the apartment silent except for the occasional shuddering breath that escaped her weary body. Outside, life continued. Traffic passing, neighbors coming and going, the world spinning on its axis untouched by her private catastrophe.
But within these walls, something had ended definitively. A love story cut short not by fate or circumstance but by her own hand. A good man walking away not in anger but in self-preservation. A future erased and rewritten in the space of a single, irrevocable moment of discovery.
Somewhere across the city, Jacob was unpacking his small collection of belongings in his friend’s spare room, beginning the process of rebuilding a life that no longer included her. And here she sat, surrounded by the wreckage of what they’d been, facing the reality that some things, once broken, cannot be fixed no matter how desperately you might wish to turn back time, no matter how sincerely you might grieve what you’ve lost.
The night deepened around her, hours passing as Ashley remained motionless on the floor, too empty even for more tears, the weight of consequence settling over her like a blanket. Permanent, inescapable, self-inflicted.
Comments
achilles
you know i was wondering how this might end but I actually like this alot. lol also it may be the one and only thing that could save their relationship
Maciek
Waste of wine and chicken ;) Seriously though I' m glad Jacob didn't stay. I pity Ashley a bit too, but ultimately it was her choice that led to this. Now the only unfinished business left is some comeuppance for Carlos. Most poetic justice would be his final confrontation with Ashley leading to struggle and him being accidentially crippled by Ashley using some move he taught her...
Earl0849
I'm still trying to find out if Jess made the plane to Savannah or is still by the pool with Bob. Having said that I do not think Ash is done with Carlos. Being alone will work on her and she will give it up to him again. But with Carlos not having Jacob to cock any longer I think any respect he may have had for her will not be present and he will abuse her. Not sure in what way but this guy is a bad hombre.
