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Dungeons and Diapers - Chapter 4 (Commission)
🕑 Added 2020-08-08 05:59:56 +0000 UTCRemember when I posted the last chapter of this, and I said, "It might be a couple weeks before I post the next chapter"? That was, uh, two months ago. I ran into some delays. But here it is! :D
Previous Chapters Here:
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
For the second time in as many days, Sandra wished she’d asked for the details of an escort mission before she’d accepted it.
She would still have accepted the job, of course. Five thousand gold was far too much for her to pass up on, and they’d be headed up in the direction she wanted to go to anyways. If she’d gotten more information, though, she might have invested in a pair of earplugs before setting out.
“Jeez, be careful with that! That box is worth more than your whole commission, and if you so much as scuff the outside, you won’t get a single copper piece!”
Sandra glanced over, to see what their charge was whinging about. Quinn was loading up a cart, stacking it up with the boxes upon boxes of luggage that they were delivering along with the girl. He wasn’t being rough at all, and as far as Sandra could tell, he hadn’t so much as scratched one of the crates.
Mentally, Sandra made a note of the fifteenth thing that had been complained about since they started work half an hour prior.
Karena Iris Din’Vatra was… a lot.
She’d worked with spoiled rich kids before. Given that her party worked on commission, Sandra had learned to play the diplomatic dance where she did her best not to sneer at the arrogant, out-of-touch complaints that the wealthy would often come up with. Even with that experience, though, Karena was testing her patience.
Five thousand gold, she reminded herself, returning her attention to the map.
At a comfortable pace, it was two days' travel to reach the Capital. That meant they’d have to make camp with the kid at least once. If tensions got frayed too quickly, the trip could turn out to be a real nightmare.
“Karena,” she said, waddling from the front of the cart over to their charge. “Why don’t you let me handle the gear, so you can relax a bit before we start our travels?”
“Puh-lease,” Karena sneered. “This half-orc would knock everything over with his tits the moment I looked away. I know how you servant types work - the moment nobody’s watching to make sure you do your job right, you start half assing it.”
Quinn looked over his shoulder, rolling her eyes at Sandra, but she forced herself to keep smiling. “Alright, well, suit yourself.”
She managed to keep the smile present right up until she turned around, walking to the front of their caravan. Four horses for the party, two big pack horses to pull the cart, and a particularly majestic stallion for Karena to ride. Tarja was at the front, saddling Karena’s stallion, quietly whispering to the horse as she did.
“How’s it faring?” Sandra asked.
“I don’t believe anyone has ever taught that girl manners in her entire life,” Tarja replied, quietly. “Who would honestly want to marry her?”
“From what I understand, it’s a political marriage,” Sandra whispered back. “She wanted to settle down and live in a castle, and her husband-to-be stands to benefit from marrying into the Din’Vatra family of merchants. She only just turned eighteen, but I guess she couldn’t wait to get out of the house.”
“Well, not the house,” Tarja commented. “The Din’Vatras don’t have a manor or stable home. Poor kid’s probably never spent more than a month or two in the same place before moving on to the next city.”
“You’re defending her?” Sandra asked, incredulous.
Tarja shook her head. “Not her behavior, but… it can’t be easy to make friends when you’ve got no idea where you’ll be living in a month.”
"It can't be easy to make friends when you're a horrible wretch, either," Sandra muttered. "But she’s our problem for two days, so we'll have to make nice. If I start getting too… abrasive with her, tip me off, would you?”
“What do you want me to do?” Tarja asked.
“Just…” Sandra considered it. “Tell me that I should check the road for traps. It’ll give me an excuse to take a walk and clear my head.”
“Sure thing, Sandra.” Tarja turned her attention back to the stallion, pulled two more straps, and said, “We’re ready to travel, if Quinn’s done loading the cart.”
“He should be.” Sandra nodded. “Let me make sure Hadrian’s ready to go.”
Their wizard was busy meditating in a nearby clearing, preparing his spells for the day. Sandra approached, watching from a distance. She knew better than to interrupt his progress.
He’d been able to speak Common when he woke up, bringing his total known languages to two, though the pacifier was stubbornly reappearing in his mouth on a regular basis. It didn’t interrupt his meditation, fortunately, but it still had to be a nuisance.
Hadrian was just getting finished up as she approached, making a couple small notes in his spellbook and standing to face her. Pacifier stuck in his mouth, he walked over so that Sandra could take it out for him.
Once she’d popped it free and stuck it in a pocket, he said, “All ready to go? I have the sense that this is going to be a very satisfying trip.”
“You haven’t spent the last hour around Karena,” Sandra said in a low tone. “The kid’s a nightmare.”
“She’s not a kid,” Hadrian pointed out. “She’s a client. As long as she’s got the gold, just let her words flow off you like water on a duck.”
“Strictly speaking, her fiance is the client, since he’s the one who’ll give us the gold upon arrival,” Sandra pointed out. “But… yeah. That seems like a plan.”
Quinn was done loading the cart by the time she circled back around, though Karena still didn’t seem pleased. “Sandra!” she snapped, turning to face her once she was close.
“What’s wrong, Karena?” Sandra raised an eyebrow.
“Firstly-” Karena raised a finger, pointing it at Sandra. “I’m your boss, and you’ll treat me with respect. You will address me as ‘Miss Din’Vatra’ or ‘Ma’am’. Not ‘Karena’.”
Spoiled little- “Alright, ma’am. What’s wrong?”
“This bimbo buffoon packed everything wrong!” She pointed at Quinn, her face screwed up with anger. “My case of evening wear is at the bottom of the pile, completely unreachable! When I want to get dressed for sleep tonight, it’ll take forever to dig it out!”
“I packed the cases in the order you told me,” Quinn said, making Sandra wince.
“Well I didn’t know you’d bury it!” Karena snapped. “I thought you’d pack it all to one side!”
“If I did that, the cart would topple-” Quinn started.
“Quinn,” Sandra said, quickly. “Go get saddled.”
The half-orc fumed for a moment, then hopped down from the cart and trudged towards his horse.
“Seriously,” Karena rolled her eyes. “If his brains were half as big as his tits, he might be worth something, but why’s he even in your party?”
“Everyone in our party is an invaluable asset, ma’am,” Sandra said, simply. “Would you like me to walk you to your horse? We’re ready to get on the road.”
She rolled her eyes again. “Ha, like I need you to babysit me. I can walk to my horse on my own, thank you very much.”
Five thousand gold, Sandra reminded herself. Don’t think about her, think about the gold.
…
The morning went about as smoothly as Sandra could have hoped. Karena barely shut up for air, but at least she’d stopped insulting their party directly.
Instead, Karena insulted - Sandra was fairly sure - literally every other person she’d ever met. Her tutors, her father’s business partners, her parents, the trade guild, the adventurer’s guild, the mage’s college. Street vendors, royalty, city officials - if she’d met them, she had something to complain about regarding them.
When it came time to take lunch, Karena insisted that they stop, so she could dine properly. Quinn put down a blanket for her to sit on, and while Sandra started distributing trail rations, Karena reached into a small pocket, producing a dainty pair of silk, lace-hemmed gloves.
Sandra had to cover her eye roll. She was putting on a pair of fancy dining gloves to eat trail rations. There was spoiled, then there was-
Karena snapped her fingers, and in her hands there appeared a silver tray, stacked with a glass of chilled wine, streaming hot roast beef, and minced winter vegetables with some sort of wonderful-smelling seasoning.
Setting down the tray, Karena picked up a silver fork and knife, cut into her meal, and began to eat.
She noticed the party’s staring after a couple bites. Over a mouthful of food, she asked, “Wha’, have you ple’eians never seen Gloves of Storing before?” Taking a sip of her chilled wine, she swallowed and added, “Seriously. It’s like you don’t even recognize a wondrous item when you see one.”
“I’ve seen gloves like that before,” Hadrian commented, “I’ve just never seen them used to… such effect.”
“I carry half a dozen pairs with me at all times,” Karena explained, taking another bite. “They make travelling so much more pleasant.”
“Perhaps, but isn’t it a bit-” Hadrian frowned, and even Sandra noticed the magic coalescing around his lips. “Oh, both-mmph.”
His pacifier appeared in place with a little ‘plop’ noise, momentarily silencing his comments.
In the middle of a bite, Karena nearly choked on her laughter. While Sandra leaned over, tugging the pacifier free, Karena swallowed, got ahold of herself, and nearly doubled over in a fit of giggling. “You- heh- a pacifier-”
“It’s an intensely powerful curse,” Sandra said, brow furrowing while Hadrian turned pink. “It returns every few hours. We’re still looking for someone who can dispel the magic.”
“The wizard’s g-got-” Karena put her hands over her belly, wheezing with laughter. “A little baby pacifier-”
“Adventuring work is dangerous!” Sandra snapped. “Curses come with the territory - it’s part of the job to deal with them, ma’am.”
“Oh, yeah!” Wiping tears from her eyes, Karena shook her head. “A dangerous widdle baby paci, for the dangerous widdle wizard to suck on!”
“Now hold on a minute-” Sandra didn’t remember getting to her feet, but she found herself standing up, ready for a confrontation.
“Sandra,” Tarja cut in, quickly. “I’m sensing some magic in the air. You should go check for traps.”
Deflating a little, Sandra caught herself. “Right. Thank you, Tarja, I’ll-”
“Wait,” Karena said, her eyes widening with amusement. “Don’t move. That’s- snrk- an order.”
Sandra got a sinking feeling of what was going to happen next, but she stood in place, lowering her hand.
Karena set her silver tray aside, got to her feet, and walked over to Sandra so that she could put a finger through one of the belt loops on Sandra’s pants. Pulling back, her amused expression turned to pure mirth. “Oh, my, gods. You’re wearing a diaper!”
“I-” Sandra stammered, cheeks turning pink. “It’s a curse, same as-”
She was interrupted by a burst of laughter, as Karena didn’t even try to control herself. “It’s- Almost- The whole party is a bunch of sissy babies! The changeling’s the only one who’s normal!”
Tarja shifted, uncomfortably. It was subtle, but Karena picked up on the subtle embarrassment like a hound with the scent of prey.
“Oh, no-” Karena snickered. “What happened to you?”
“Drop it,” Sandra said, quietly.
Karena turned back to Sandra, still ready to burst into tears from all the laughter she was holding back, but now there was venom in her eyes. “Excuse me, potty pants? Did I ask for your advice?”
“This isn’t part of our job, ma’am,” Sandra continued. “My party-”
“Sandra,” Tarja said. She had stood up at some point, and had a hand on Sandra’s chest. “Go, check for traps. It’s fine.”
Fighting the desire to take a swing at Karena, she nodded, looked to their charge, and said, “I apologize.”
“Heh, you’re just saying that so you don’t get fired right here on the spot,” Karena shot back. “Go change your diaper, baby, but don’t think I’m gonna forget about this - I’m going to have a chat with my fiance about your fee once we get to the capital.”
Sandra had to walk away. It was the only way to stop herself from doing something immensely stupid.
Wheeling around, she walked away, towards the head of their caravan, deciding to actually check for traps just as a way to calm her nerves. It was a structured task she could focus on, even if it wouldn’t turn anything up.
Climbing into the saddle, she spurred her horse along, riding at a even pace up the road. Stupid, arrogant, spoiled little-
Stopping, she took a breath, repeating to herself, “She’s paying you. You need the money, and she’s paying you.”
Sighing, she looked with her magical senses, detecting the road around her. Something, anything, to focus on besides how easily Karena could wind her up.
She wasn’t expecting to find anything. That’s what made it a surprise when she noticed the thin, barely noticeable strands of power in the air.
It was just a figment, just for a moment, before they escaped her magical detection. She couldn’t be certain, but it seemed to be some sort of scrying spell on the main road. Something that’d make an ambush particularly easy, a little ways up the road.
Turning, Sandra rode back towards the party. It was probably nothing, but that was still a reason to be cautious.
Quinn was ready to greet her, a few paces away from where everyone was eating. “Trouble?”
“You noticed?” Sandra asked, hopping down from her horse.
“No, I just wanted to get away for a minute,” Quinn said. “What’s wrong?”
“Probably nothing, but there’s some magic on the road. I think someone might be watching it, so they can ambush us later on.” Sandra reached into her saddlebags, coming out with a map. “We should find another route, to be safe.”
“Another route will be slower, yeah?” Quinn asked. “As in, more time… as a group.”
She shot him a look that was meant to communicate the message, ‘Yeah, I already thought of that’. All she said was, “We’ll do whatever’s necessary to keep her safe.”
Quinn looked suspect, but didn’t argue as Sandra walked over to their client, eyes on the map. As she approached, Tarja stood, walking in the same direction Quinn had gone. “Ma’am, we’ve got possible trouble, I think it’d be best that we find another path.”
That, at least, didn’t get a sneer. Karena had returned to her meal, but she looked up from the tray and listened. “What kind of trouble?”
“I detected a trace of scrying magic. It’s possible someone’s trying to watch us, or just for any vulnerable travellers, so that they can waylay them on the road further down.” Finding the best alternate course, she added, “The safe thing to do would be to re-route.”
Karena frowned suspiciously. “Reroute how?”
Sandra turned around the map, pointing so Karena could see. “There’s the marshland to the east of here. It’s got a cart path. It’s about half a day slower, but the terrain is completely open, so there’s no way anyone could-”
“The bogs?” Karena exclaimed. “Are you kidding me?”
“Well, marshland and bogs are-” Hadrian started to say. Sandra silenced him with a sharp look.
“It’s safer, ma’am,” Sandra said. “If we can avoid an ambush-”
“An ambush you don’t even know really exists,” Karena snapped. “You just want to make me go through the bogs, so I’ll get all sweaty and I won’t notice when you stink!”
Sandra shook her head, sighing. “Karena, no-”
“Ma’am,” Karena corrected, sharply. “And if there’s an ambush, it’s your job to fight them off! You’re just being lazy!”
“Ma’am. Prevention is better than-”
“We’re taking the main road!” Karena snapped. “And that’s final!”
I hope there’s an ambush, Sandra fumed, while she nodded and folded up the map. And I hope someone shoots her.
Spinning in place, she trudged back to their caravan. “Quinn, put on your armor. We need to be ready for a fight at the drop of a pin.”
His shoulders slumped, and he spoke in a low, distressed tone. “Do I have to? She’ll-”
“Hey,” Tarja said, touching his arm. “What she thinks doesn’t matter.”
“Hmmph.” Quinn shook his head, sighed, and went to get his frilly, pink armor.
“If you’ve got to do anything to prepare for a fight, do it,” Sandra added to Tarja. “I don’t want to get caught flat-footed.”
“I’m ready to go at a pindrop,” Tarja said. “Don’t you worry about me.”
“It’s not you I’m worried about.” Sandra looked over her shoulder at Karena. “That brat is going to get herself into trouble if we don’t watch out for her.”
“She might not let us watch out for her,” Tarja replied.
“Well, then, we’ll just have to do what we can. We’re not getting stiffed on another job.” Sandra shrugged. “Let’s get moving. If we’re going to get ambushed, I’d rather it be sooner than later.”
…
No ambush came throughout most of the afternoon. In fact, the only danger posed to Karena was that she almost died laughing when she saw Quinn in his pink, lace armor. She nearly fell off her horse when she saw it, and every few moments she’d glance back over her shoulder at him to giggle.
That, at least, wore off by midafternoon. The hilarious nature of his armor couldn't keep her giggling forever, and as the morning clouds dissipated a bit, she had other things to complain about. The heat, the glare, the way that a passing traveller didn’t show her enough polite respect as they crossed each other.
By the time the sun was low in the western horizon, Sandra had dismissed her fears of an ambush. Nobody would bother scrying so far ahead on the road just to steal some passing wealth.
So, when they came to a deep mud slick in the road, Sandra wasn’t even worried about an attack.
“So,” Karena said, riding next to Tarja. “What’s your curse?”
Tarja ignored her.
“Don’t ignore me,” Karena snapped. “I’m your employer.”
“I’m trying to stay focused on watching for threats,” Tarja said, her tone a little uncertain. She was clearly avoiding the subject of her curse.
“Well, still, I asked you a question,” Karena said. “What’s your curse? Everyone else got something humiliating. What’d you get?”
Tarja kept her eyes on the brush near the road. “Nothing that concerns this job.”
“Your ‘fearless leader’ poops her pants, your warrior is a big girly dolly, and your wizard plays with baby toys,” Karena mused, putting a finger to her lips. “So I bet you… hmm… You’ve got some sort of uncontrollable sexual urge. Yeah?”
The changeling didn’t respond.
Karena’s expression glittered. “No? Then… I bet it’s the opposite, and you can’t even screw at all! Am I right?”
Still no response. Tarja was damned good at stonewalling when she wanted to be.
“Maybe… you can eat only baby food? No, I saw you eat, but… hmm.” Her expression brightened with amused malice, and she asked, “Ooh, did you grow a dick?”
A tiny, subtle flicker. Almost imperceptible, except to someone who knew exactly how to push people’s buttons.
“Hah!” Karena grinned broadly. “Oooh, that is priceless. I bet you-”
“Drop the subject,” Tarja said, quietly. Her voice wasn’t wavering anymore. It was deathly still and steady.
“Oh, you think you can boss me around?” Karena’s eyes narrowed, but her lips were still dancing with amusement. At the top of her lungs, she shouted, “Hey everyone! Tarja’s got a dick!”
There was murder in Tarja’s eyes, and Sandra knew it. She honestly didn’t feel much like stopping what was about to happen. Riding forward, the argument also served to distract her from the deepening mud, until she felt her horse balk and looked forward.
“Woah!” she called back to Hadrian, so the wizard would know to stop the cart before coming forward. The mud didn’t look too bad at a glance, but since she’d led her horse into it, she realized it was almost a foot deep.
“What’s the holdup, baby?” Karena sneered, from a few feet behind her. “You’re not honestly upset about my announcement, are you?”
“Mud,” Sandra explained, simply, gesturing to the ground beneath and in front of her. “The cart can’t go through it. We’re going to have to backtrack, find an alternate route.”
“How long’s that going to take?” Karena demanded, riding forward to be parallel with Sandra. “My horse goes through it fine.”
“Your horse’s legs aren’t made of wagon wheels,” Sandra pointed out. “It’ll take a few hours. We’ll have to make camp tonight, we’re not going to make it to the inn.”
“No way.” Karena crossed her arms over her chest. “I’m not camping.”
Sandra paused. “I saw your luggage. You have an expedition pavilion. Why-”
“Yeah, that old thing? It’s a ratty piece of crap,” Karena rolled her hand in a dismissive gesture. “Just, like, pull it through. I don’t care if you’ve got to fix it or clean it up or whatever once we get to the inn. Your job is to escort me, not the other way around, and I’m not making a detour just so you can keep your crummy cart clean.”
It’s full of your luggage, Sandra thought. “I can’t pull the cart through this. It’s not a question, ma’am.”
Karena rolled her eyes. “Well, figure it out then. I’m not waiting.” Spurring her horse forward, she started trotting through the mud.
“Karena, wait,” Sandra called after her. She couldn’t just leave the cart with all of Karena’s luggage, but at the same time, they couldn’t just abandon the spoiled brat herself.
Tarja pulled up next to Sandra. “What happens if we just let her leave?”
“We don’t get paid,” Sandra replied, watching the girl go.
“And what happens if we abandon her luggage?” Quinn inquired, from a few paces back.
“We don’t get paid,” Sandra completed. “We could split the party-”
In unison, Tarja, Quinn, and Hadrian all barked, “NO!”
Karena was most of the way across the mud slick, and was sneering over her shoulder at the four of them, waiting for the party to call her bluff. Sighing, Sandra said, “Fine. Maybe we can cast Ant Haul and figure something out. I’ll go talk to-”
A hundred feet up ahead, a splatter of mud shot up from the ground, so quick that nobody had the chance to call out a warning.
Honestly. No chance for a warning whatsoever. Quinn, Tarja, Sandra, and Hadrian would all swear to it.
The mud struck Karena with splorchy momentum, knocking her sideways out of the saddle. She landed in the mud, screaming, and a whirlwind of magic began to swirl.
“Shit,” Sandra said, spurring her horse forward. “Come on!”
Reluctantly, the rest of the party followed, skirting the mud slick of the road. That meant navigating the brush and trees beside the road, which slowed them down a bit, but it was better than being bogged down by mud in the middle of a fight.
Karena was on the ground, flailing her arms, batting away some sort of insect-like creature that was buzzing around her head.
It took Sandra only a second to recognize it, glancing between the plastic, pastel object diving towards Karena’s head and Hadrian. His own pacifier was absent at the moment, but Sandra still recognized the magic.
They were going up against traps set by the Wizard of Paraphilia.
“Careful!” she shouted, slowing. “It’s the Wizard!”
That was enough to make the whole party slow in trepidation, unwilling to get hit with another one of the wizard’s traps for the sake of Karena. Still, they had a job to do. Weapons raised, they approached.
Sandra was the first to hop down from her mount, wading through the knee-deep mud to get to Karena. As thick and viscous as it was, she knew that if she fell, getting back up on her own would be almost impossible. There’d be no leverage, nothing to push off of, and any attempt to get free would only suck you further down.
Reaching towards Karena, she yelled, “Grab my arm, I’ll pull you up!”
Karena flailed, grabbed Sandra’s arm, and yanked down.
Well, shi-
Sandra stumbled as she was jerked down, falling next to Karena.
She could feel something in the mud beneath them, moving, looming dangerously around their ankles. Worse, looking around, Sandra could see shapes looming in the woods, getting ready to pounce, and Karena was still flailing and dragging them deeper.
“Ma’am, I need you to-” Sandra started.
Karena tried to push on her shoulder to stand, and they both sank a bit deeper.
“Karena, calm down and stop flailing, or you’ll-”
She screamed, her mouth so close to Sandra’s ear that it was physically painful.
Sandra had only one arm free enough to move, but she raised it, pulled back, and slapped Karena across the face. “Shut the hell up and listen, you stupid, selfish brat!”
Karena stopped flailing and gaped in alarm, as though she couldn’t believe what had just happened to her. Opening her mouth, she took in a breath, getting ready to deliver the angry lecture of her life.
With a little ‘pop’, the pacifier finally managed to fly between her lips.
Blinking, Karena looked down, a little cross-eyed as she tried to see what it was. She tried to speak, and could only mumble into the plastic shield. Pawing at it, nothing happened, except that she got a little mud on her face.
Sandra sighed in satisfaction, nodding her head. “Blessed silence.”
Eyebrows knitting in rage, Karena shouted, “Mmph-mmbhphhtbht!”, a little line of drool escaping and going down her chin.
“Listen to me,” Sandra said, trying to not be unsettled by the shouts of her peers as they fought off monsters. “We can’t keep flailing. That’ll just get us trapped. We need something to push off of.”
Karena’s expression was plenty harsh enough to communicate what she was thinking. ‘Like what, diaper baby?’
Thinking a moment, Sandra had an idea. Holding out an arm, she focused for a moment, black smoke congealing into solid form. It was roughly the shape of a crowbar, but almost four feet long, with a wide, flat end attached to the end to push off of.
Pressing the umbral tool into the mud, Sandra hit hard dirt a couple feet down, giving her the leverage to stand. Mud squelched in her clothes and sucked at her skin as she stood, but it wasn’t enough to keep her down, and once she was upright she held out a hand for Karena.
Karena looked at her hand, hesitantly, then reached up. She took Sandra’s hand, they both pulled with steady force to get her upright, and finally, she stood.
Though she couldn’t say anything, Sandra saw relief in her eyes as they both got to her feet. Karena’s horse was only a couple paces away, and once she was mounted, she could ride to safety while Sandra trudged free and helped with the fight.
Before Karena could get into the saddle, though, her eyes suddenly bulged in terror. Sandra couldn’t see anything happening, but as long as her expression was only surprise and fear, not pain, she just would have to hope that their charge was okay.
“It’s fine! Let’s get you out of here!” Reaching out, Sandra took Karena’s hand, helped her reach the stirrup, made sure she was saddled, and finally turned to trudge free of the mud herself.
She was too slow. Not because there was any danger, but because, by the time she made it to the edge of the mud and had a weapon drawn, the stuffed animals that had been brought to life as attack constructs had all been disemfluffed, remnants of cotton stuffing and button eyes strewn across the landscape.
Sandra sighed in relief. Nobody else was hurt. Hitching up her pants, she turned to spot Karena, on her horse, quietly trembling just past the end of the mud slick.
“I’ll go talk to her,” she said.
As much as Sandra hated to show any sympathy towards her, the girl had to be terrified. She’d just been in a life or death scenario, probably for the first time in her life.
“Hey, ma’am,” she called, from a few paces away. “You’ll need my help with that pacifier. It doesn’t come out on its own.”
Karena’s eyes were huge, and wet. Turning to face Sandra, she leaned down, letting Sandra take the pacifier free. “G-gah ba… gods…” she mumbled.
“It’s okay,” Sandra said, sniffing the air and wrinkling her nose. Ah, damn. I must have had an accident during the fray. At least she’s not likely to mock me about it right now. “We got out alive. You’re safe.”
“I…” Karena said, sniffling. “I think I’m paralyzed.”
Sandra blinked in surprise. “What? You got on your horse just fine.”
“I know, but…” Karena whimpered. “I can’t feel anything around my waist.”
Frowning, Sandra said, “If you’re paralyzed, a cleric can heal you, but… if you were paralyzed at the waist, I don’t think you’d be able to sit up on a horse. Here, let me help you down.”
For once timid and uncertain, Karena accepted her hand, getting down. She was able to stand, which was a good sign.
“Where can’t you feel?” she asked.
“I guess… from here…” Karena put a hand on her waist, then moved it down to her mid thigh. “Down to here.”
“I need to look at it,” Sandra said, “To make sure you don’t need medical attention. Okay?”
Karena nodded, sniffling. “O-okay.”
Taking the waistband of Karena’s pants, Sandra pulled down, blinked twice, then stifled a giggle.
“Wh-what is it?” Karena asked. “What’s so funny?”
Spotting the subtle tingle of magic and examining it further, Sandra confirmed what she’d already guessed. Reaching forward, she unbuckled the pink, transparent magical cover that was currently covering Karena’s very full, very heavy cloth diaper.
As soon as the cover was unbuckled, Karena blinked, looking down in surprise. “I… when… how did that happen?”
Don’t laugh. Don’t laugh. “It, erm, smells like you had an accident, ma’am,” Sandra said, covering her smirk with a broad smile. “Would you like me to clean it up?”
Realization finally struck the girl, and Karena’s face turned bright pink. “I- You- Y-yes.”
Unable to keep from smirking a little, Sandra said, “Well, lay down. I can’t clean it while you’re wearing it.”
All the bratiness had, for the moment, gone out of the girl. She sat down and laid back, burying her blushing face with her hands.
Unpinning the sides of the diaper, Sandra let it flop to the ground. It was soaked, and the smell was worse than she’d expected - with her own messes, they’d never been out in the open.
Channeling her little spark of magical power, Sandra cast prestidigitation. It took several uses to get Karena’s diaper, thighs, and crotch fully clean, and when she was done, she said, “So… if my hunch is right, you’re going to, well… need these.”
Karena responded by making a little squeaking noise, covering her face even more with her arms and hands.
Taking that as a go ahead, Sandra folded the now-clean layers of cloth padding back into place, fastening the safety pins.
As soon as they were fastened, the cover suddenly jumped, buckling itself back around Karena’s waist.
Don’t laugh at her. Don’t laugh. Be the bigger woman here. Just because she teased you, doesn’t mean-
A second later, the pacifier reappeared between Karena’s lips.
Sandra couldn’t keep it in any more. It was just too much karmic justice, and she’d had a long day. She giggled, just a little.
Based on the little squeaks and whimpers of humiliation, Karena wasn’t going to give her any trouble about it.
…
The next two days of travel went much, much more smoothly. The curse on Karena’s pacifier was far stronger than Hadrian’s, and she could barely keep it out long enough to ask a couple questions or finish a meal before it returned, silencing her until someone in the party felt charitable enough to take it out.
Even if she could have talked at will, though, she was a considerable amount meeker than she had been - once she realized that she couldn’t remove her own diaper cover, and would be dependant on the party for changes, she apparently didn’t have it in her to mouth off or tease anyone else for their curses.
All good things had to come to an end. When they got to the capital, her fiance was waiting for them outside the city gates, and he didn’t look happy.
Darius Anders Drumet was, if not as wealthy as Karena’s father, at least still a financial force to be reckoned with. The fact that he was waiting for them, personally, was not a good sign.
“What is the meaning of this?” he called, as soon as he could see Sandra and confirmed that she was with the guild. “You’re half a day late!”
“We came across some trouble on the road,” Sandra explained, “And had to take a detour. There was also-”
Karena blew past her, her own horse half in a gallop, riding up to her fiance’s side. Tucking herself next to him, as though she were hiding in fear, she pointed at her pacifier and whimpered.
“I don’t understand,” Darius said, looking back and forth between Sandra and Karena.
“She can’t remove it herself,” Sandra explained. “It’s cursed.”
Taking out the pacifier, Darius said, “My dear, it’s a blessing to finally lay eyes upon you. What happened?”
“These- these awful people!” Karena exclaimed. “You wouldn’t believe it! They’re, possibly, the worst guard I’ve ever had! They almost got me killed!”
“Is that so?” Darius asked, his anger growing more pronounced as he looked at Sandra.
“Yeah!” Karena said. “Darius, honey, you can’t pay them. They should be locked up, not rewarded!”
Pulling up next to Sandra, Hadrian whispered, “Shouldn’t you be explaining things?”
Sandra shook her head. “Shh.”
“Tell me, my betrothed, my sweet,” Darius said. “What did they do to you?”
“It was horrid!” Karena said. “I rode ahead, and they simply stopped! They wouldn’t protect me! And then there was this magic, and it cursed me, and by the time they showed up it was too late! They just let me get cursed! And then they laughed at me about it!”
Darius paused. “You… rode ahead? And they didn’t tell you to wait for them?”
“Yeah.” Karena nodded. “Well, I mean, they did, but they wanted to find a whole other route, and then I wouldn’t have been able to see you for even longer! And their stupid cart could totally have made it through that mud. And they knew there were going to be traps and an ambush on the road, but they didn’t do anything to stop me from getting cursed!”
“I… see,” Darius said, considering it. “So, you didn’t heed their warning, and knew there might be an ambush, and then you got cursed because they stopped to find a way to get the luggage cart through.”
“Yeah!” Karena nodded. Pausing, she leaned back, looking around. “Where’s your retinue?”
“I don’t keep one, unless I’m protecting merchandise,” Darius said.
“But… who carries your extra belongings, and keeps the peasants from getting close or… touching you?” Karena asked, sounding genuinely puzzled. “You don’t consort with… riff-raff, do you? Ugh, my skin crawls just thinking about it.”
“That’s something we can talk about later, my dear,” Darius said. “For now, let’s stick to the matter at hand.”
“Oh, yeah.” Karena faced Sandra, sneering. “They’re just so awful, honey. They’re gross, and they smell, and… And they didn’t respect my authority at all! It’s like they forgot who was paying their fee!”
“Ah, I think I understand.” Darius looked between her and Sandra. “What exactly cursed her?”
“Now I explain,” Sandra whispered to Hadrian, then raised her voice for Darius to hear. “We cautioned her not to run forward in a mud slick, but she went ahead without us, and was cursed. We were able to fend off the monsters who ambushed her and keep her from harm, but she has a pacifier which she cannot remove and which returns rather quickly, and she seems to have lost all her potty training and can’t change her own diapers. Sir.”
Darius nodded. “So… she can’t talk, for more than a few minutes at a time.”
“Not unless you keep removing her pacifier for her,” Sandra assured him.
“And she’ll be needing help from others for her toilet needs,” Darius considered. “She might even need to rely on people who are less than her, and be dependent on their good will.”
Sandra smiled. “That’s right, sir.”
Smiling, Darius said, “Five thousand gold, was it? I’ll get that sent to your guild contact right away.”
* *LEVEL UP * *
Comments
Pelo Dee
Muahahahaha! I know my own adventuring group would have ditched her in the mud and stole all of her magical travel stuff (which is a great idea, BTW).
babysofia1234
I hope whoever commissions this keeps doing so. This is a brilliant little story!
