PeculiarChangeling
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The Baby Bet, Chapter 17: New Deal
🕑 Added 2022-10-16 06:32:37 +0000 UTCGrace awoke with a yawn, rolling over in bed to feel something rustle beneath her. Not her diaper–a paper fast food bag.
Sitting up, she looked around. She hadn’t gone to her own bed, she hadn’t even changed out of her day clothes–she’d fallen asleep next to Pearce, snuggled up next to him, their bodies pressed together.
But now, she found herself alone in Pearce’s crumby, messy bed.
“Pearce?” She called, getting to her feet. Her diaper squelched when she sat up–she couldn’t remember if she’d used it while stoned, or if she’d been dry when she fell asleep. Now, she was painfully thirsty and had a headache coming on, and she’d been left alone.
Waddling out of the room, she looked around for Pearce. Maybe he’d gone to the bathroom, but no–the bathroom door was wide open and she couldn’t see him.
Uncertain where else to go, she shuffled downstairs. She didn’t even know what time it was. Checking her phone, Grace found it dead. Of course it was, she hadn’t had a chance to recharge it the night before.
She found Pearce snoring on the couch, fast asleep.
Why did he leave? Grace wondered, staring at him. And–why do I care?
Grace pushed on his shoulder, nudging him to consciousness. “Hey. Wake up.”
“Huh?” he mumbled, blinking his eyes groggily awake. “What?”
“I’m thirsty,” she said. “And we didn’t do, like, any of the bedtime stuff you were supposed to do last night.”
“You cheated,” he replied, shrugging. “I think I deserve a pass.”
She glanced away, guiltily. “Technically I didn’t cheat. But I did lie.”
“Same thing,” Pearce said, rolling up to his feet. “Ok, I’m putting on coffee.”
Before she could think better of it, Grace blurted, “Why did you come sleep downstairs?”
Pearce shrugged. “You were snoring, and I couldn’t sleep with the noise. You seemed cozy, so I let you take the bed.” His tone suggested he’d done her a favor.
Grace swallowed. She didn’t feel grateful, but she thanked him anyways. “I appreciate it.”
“Also we’re going to have to talk about the cheating thing.” Pearce rubbed his eyes, yawning again. “That wasn’t cool.”
She looked away, down at her feet. “Yeah. Sorry. Again.”
He shrugged, changing the subject. “Pancakes?”
“Sure,” Grace said. The clock on the stove showed it was past 11 AM, horrifyingly late for her to have slept until.
She sat down at the kitchen table, waiting patiently. Pearce didn’t say much, even when he gave her a bottle of coffee, mixed up how she liked.
Do I say something? She thought. I mean. One of us has to, right?
She looked at him, trying to read his thoughts. His shoulders were stiff, body language uncomfortable. She’d upset him.
Had he really left the bed because she’d been snoring?
As he finished frying up pancakes from ready-mix batter,
“So, um…” she said. “Is one of us…should we talk?”
“What about?” he asked.
“You know…” she started. “Um…”
Her train of thought was interrupted by the back door, opening up. Brains walked in, removing a pair of heavy headphones and blinking at the two of them. “Pancakes for lunch?”
“Really, really late breakfast,” Grace clarified, exhaling. Brains made this easy–as oblivious as he was to emotional tension, he could defuse the whole room. Or, at least, delay an emotionally fraught conversation.
“You’re right,” Pearce said. “We should talk.”
Grace looked between him and Brains in surprise. Surely this conversation should happen in private, not–
“Brains,” Pearce said. “The rules have some problems, and I think we need to address them.”
Oh. Okay.
“Sure,” Brains said. “Happy to help.”
And so, the Second Rules Round Table commenced, with Brains served as their sole moderator.
“Talking about game theory, we left an obvious exploit in the rules,” Brains said. He’d set up the whiteboard again, which still had the rules as written from their previous discussion listed. “It assumes a certain degree of good faith. I think we can confidently say that this was a bit naive.”
Grace squirmed. Being the bigger person sucked, and having to admit to it over and over just made her discomfort grow.
“But,” Brains continued, “On the other hand, Pearce–going by the book, you didn’t give Grace a bath before bed, didn’t change her, and didn’t actually put her to bed, let alone enforce her bedtime last night–and Grace, you didn’t stick to your bedtime either. Neither of you were up on time, either. Pretty much just a complete collapse all around. If we were to follow the rules, you’d both have, like, half a dozen penalties give or take, depending on how it all tallies up. More for Pearce than Grace, but still, a couple hours in time out at least just for all the stuff around bedtime.”
“I’ll do it if she will,” Pearce said. “I can own up to my mistakes.”
“Yeah, I’m not forfeiting either,” Grace replied. “Screw it.”
“My point being,” Brains said. “I think you’ve both proved your point. The only way this is going to dissolve is if you both stop following the rules completely–like you already did–and just call it a truce. You didn’t, like, sign a magical contract forcing you to keep playing.”
Grace looked over at Pearce, considering her options. Walk away? Just let this all end without a winner?
Eugh. No way.
He seemed to come to the same conclusion. Both of them turned to face Brains, and said in unison, “Fuck that.”
Brains shrugged. “Okay then–how do we want to handle all this?”
“I promise not to deliberately leak again,” Grace suggested. “Is that good enough?”
“If I trusted that promise,” Pearce shot back. “What if she just wasn’t allowed to hold it? No way to leak on purpose then.”
“Yeah, and how would you enforce that?” Grace asked, rolling her eyes. “You’d still have to trust me.”
“Right.” Pearce sighed. “So we take off the rule about leaking.”
“No,” Grace replied. “Absolutely not.”
“It would stop your bad behavior,” Pearce said. “You made that rule unuseable, so we shouldn’t have to use it. Right, Brains?”
“If you don’t both agree to it, I’m not sure–” Brains started.
“And then, what, you just make me ruin all the clothes you buy?” Grace asked, cutting in. “Come on, we both know the minute you lose a hard requirement making you do something, you’ll forget about it.”
He winced.
She swallowed. “Sorry.”
Pearce shook his head. “Okay, fine. I’ve got a better idea.”
Grace perked up. “Something that doesn’t involve just trusting me?”
“Yeah. You want this bet to have an end date?” he looked at Brains, who shrugged.
“You do what you want,” Brains said. “It’s a free country, and all.”
“Then we stick with the rules as written,” Pearce said.
Grace frowned. “How’s that a solution?”
Brains got it first. “You play them exactly as written. Antagonistically.”
“You want to try and make your diapers flood?” Pearce asked. “Fine. Piss away. You’re the one who set the pace, I’m just going to keep up with it–you do whatever you can to make me fail without breaking the rules, and I do the exact same thing. If you’re going to try and flood your diapers, I’ll just have to take countermeasures. If you’re going to be an annoying brat, I’ll have to find ways to shut you up.”
On the one hand, it somewhat broke the character of the bet. A real caretaker wouldn’t be antagonizing his charge, trying to infuriate them or push them into certain actions. Then again, a real baby wouldn’t have deliberately made her diaper leak to mess with the caretaker.
It signaled a shift. An acknowledgement that this had moved beyond what they’d originally said, and that the game was simpler: Outlast, out-annoy, outstubborn the other for dominance.
Grace knew she could win that.
She stuck out her hand. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”
They shook on it, again. Pearce smiled. “Alright. Well then, I’ve got some orders to make, and–”
“Ahem,” Brains said. “You owe three hundred bucks to the beer fund, if that’s how you’re playing it. And Grace… uh, you’ve racked up a lot of time out.”
Grace swallowed. “Right. Uh…right. Okay.”
Pearce staggered too, though, doing the math in his head. “Well…at least we’ll be stocked on beer for a few months.”
His own punishment made Grace feel a little better.
“Oh, and one more thing,” Grace said. “I’m not in time out yet, right?”
“That’s right,” Pearce said. “Though you’d better march your butt over and…oh, wait, don’t–”
Grace let her bladder go before his objection could finish, flooding her already-sodden diaper. It leaked almost instantly, staining her baby blue dress. “Alright, make that three hundred fifty bucks.” And, to add insult to injury, she stuck her tongue out at Pearce. It just felt right.
Instead of looking annoyed, though, he just grinned. “Oh, I’m going to love the look on your face once your new clothes arrive.”
