RuffWriter
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Chapter 352 (Maybe trash tier)
🕑 Added 2018-07-17 00:02:48 +0000 UTCFinally finished. Wasn't helped that my stupid computer started a stupid update when i was almost done, but it's done now, so there's that.
That said, I'm almost 100% certain I hate almost everything about this chapter, and may actually rewrite it or even scrap it altogether. Dunno, will see how i feel after food and sleep.
As for why, well... I'd explain, but that'd probably be another ch length of ranting. Suffice it to say, I feel like Song, Alsantset, and maybe even Dastan come off as ... out of character. Their actions don't fit how I feel they should behave, given how I've written them in the past, but trying to fix it is easier said than done....
Plus the ending was like "IDGAF i'm hungry now, end this plz."
Mm.... almost 100% certain there will NOT be an advance ch tomorrow, so yea.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1nhgQgCFw6Q_VqMJGfMFtjrhfURemhmDg-WHGxbF2Z-4/edit?usp=sharing
Waking to the warbling cry of the laughing birds, Song rose to greet the morning with a long, languid stretch. Still fast asleep beside her, Lin and Sister murmured in their sleep while the bears and wildcats snored peacefully around them. Even Jimjam, usually so anxious and vigilant, laid passed out on his side, breathing heavy and belly swollen from last nights bout with gluttony. Taking advantage of this rare opportunity, Song postponed brushing her hair and sidled over to Jimjams side, gently stroking his cheek and smiling as he slowly came awake. Eye widening in surprise, he gave a small yowl as if to ask howd she managed to get so close and laid still as Song checked his ears, gums, and paws for irregularities, a difficult task at best given Jimjams normal, apprehensive nature.
With a petulant huff, Jimjam closed his eyes and magnanimously accepted Songs ministrations. When she finished, she couldnt resist laying down beside the dramatic, overfed wildcat, stroking his neck and picking out dried meat and blood from his fur. Sharing a yurt with Sister and Lin wasnt so bad, especially with all the animals here to keep them company. Although Sarankho was always available for a hug, Jimjam was rarely in the mood for cuddling and Aurie almost always monopolized by Rain. Despite it all, a small part of Song resented having to give up her private yurt, though mostly because she was certain the devious Luo-Luo would never use it.
When she heard Rains new concubine was an Imperial Servant, Song rejoiced at the thought of having someone to share in the of taking care of Rains pets. As much as Song enjoyed their company, grooming three wildcats, two bears, and twenty rabbits took too much time out of her day. Unfortunately, Luo-Luos naive outlook and duplicitous personality proved Imperial Servant was merely a different way to say spoiled noble, expecting to be waited on hand and foot. To make matters worse, Luo-Luo was calculating to the extreme, reading too much into every word and gesture of those around her. Song had met plenty of women like Luo-Luo, a social chameleon whose personality changed depending on who her target was. With Lin, Luo-Luo feigned childish wonder and boundless delight, but with Sister-in-Law Sarnai, she behaved like a prim and proper lady only too eager to please. With her deceitful and scheming personality, Luo-Luo had much to do before earning Songs trust, but for now, shed be too distracted winning over her husband to bother with anyone else. Perhaps with an outlet for his lust, Rains lecherous ways would be constrained to Luo-Luo alone, leaving Song, Sister, and Lin all well alone.
That said, last nights banquet was surprisingly enjoyable, Songs first public event with her whole family present. Mama and Sisters dresses were beautiful, but Song could never bring herself to wear something so revealing, not by choice at least. No, a soldiers tunic and trousers were good enough, with her comfortable Runic amour worn over top and her trusty saber at her hip, for one could never be too careful when dealing with privileged members of nobility. Though she knew Mama and Papa would never allow it, Song couldnt forget all the social events shed attended in Central after Teacher Du gifted her to Master Kai, nor how she suffered at the hands of those lecherous aristocrats...
Unhappy memories aside, when the Crier introduced Mama, Papa, Sister, and herself as one family, Songs heart swelled with joy, and that was only the beginning. The beautiful decorations, the delicious foods, the relaxing ambient music, and the adorable antics from the wildcats and bears, the night went perfectly until Rain collapsed from poison. Still, seeing as he recovered without incident, Song went ahead and marked the banquet as a rousing success. The nobles ate, met Rains concubine, and nobody died, all in all a much tamer event than Song anticipated. Rain rarely accomplished anything quietly, and even though someone tried to have him killed, his quick thinking, unsavoury solution, remarkable fortitude, and casual disregard for pain and death proved he deserved his new Imperial Peerage.
It felt strange approving of Rains actions, and while minor issues regarding negative public opinion may soon arise, Song couldnt deny how impressive and effective his demonstration had been. After barely grimacing when Brother Baatar cut his belly open, Rain didnt even bat an eye while the Medical Saint rummaged through his innards. Then, the second he finished Healing, Rain jolted up and joked about his empty stomach before devouring a full meal in front of his awed guests, a most appropriate, if crude, display of power and endurance. While his new title kept him safe from harm, his actions would make even the most embittered noble think twice before offending the Bekhai.
A performance most suitable for the Undying Savage.
Having idled about long enough, Song hurriedly braided her hair and threw on her armour before carrying the sluggish bears and wildcats out to sleep in the grass. This way, Sister and Lin could rest uninterrupted, or more likely, not wake up to a stinky surprise left by the trapped animals. Noticing a crowd of quins gathered around Rains door, Song headed over to see what all the fuss was about. As she approached, Rains door rattled and a muted, distressed chirp sounded out from within, causing all the gathered quins to respond in kind. Perhaps Mafu was trapped inside, though why Rain would invite the fat quin into his yurt on the eve of his marriage was not something Song wanted to dwell on.
What a perverted deviant... And to think, Song was starting to respect him...
Against her better judgment, Song pushed past the crowd of quins and unlatched the door, blinking as it burst open to reveal a snarling, unfamiliar, quin. Far from the cheerful welcome shed expected, she reacted by holding her ground with a snarl, her palm held up in warning and other hand resting on her sabers hilt. Her unyielding demeanour and silent threat cowed the defensive quin, its anger subsiding as it shifted from side to side. With a sniff of her palm and a lick of its jowls, the quin let loose with a plaintive whine. The poor thing seemed so distressed, Song wanted to reach out to pat its nose like she would with Erdene or any of the other quins, but seeing how riled up this particular quin appeared and his long, dagger-like fangs, Song kept her hands to herself. With the quin refusing to back down and Song unable to do so without possibly triggering its hunters instincts, she found herself in a stalemate. Where did this unsociable creature come from? Why was it inside Rains yurt? Was the quins antagonistic behaviour the result of whatever debauchery Rain partook of last night?
Thankfully, their awkward standoff didnt last long as Mafu around Song, past the angry quin, and into the yurt, his tail lashing back and forth the whole time. Emerging a few seconds later with a quin pup cuddled in his arms, Mafu ran off with the adorable creature and left Song in amused confusion. A second, fully-grown quin soon emerged carrying two more pups and paused to give Song a cursory sniff before taking off after the pup thief Mafu, squeaking up a storm as the pack followed in their wake. The angry quin also disappeared and returned with two sleeping pups, ignoring Song to run off and follow its mate.
Out of self-preservation and perhaps even morbid curiosity, Song stood at the doorway and peered into the dimly lit room. Asleep on the floor, Rain wore the same clothes Song had last seen him in, his bed never slept in and the new girl nowhere to be seen. Were Rains tastes so depraved that not even an Imperial Servant could stomach them? No, for all their talk of superiority and eminence, nobles were a sordid and degenerate bunch, so it was doubtful Luo-Luos training wouldnt prepare her for the worst. Perhaps he sent her away because the poison and subsequent healing must have taken its toll on him, for why else would he still be asleep? Rain had many flaws but indolence could not be counted among them. Considering hed been too tired to change his clothes, its possible Rain left his concubine untouched and unspoiled, a small mercy in Songs mind, though Luo-Luo would certainly see things differently.
It still begged the question, where did Rain find a clutch of quin pups to snuggle with?
Her curiosity sated, Song closed the door and left Rain to sleep. Stepping into the rabbit enclosure, she smiled as the darling creatures stopped playing and gathered around to greet her, rearing up on their hind legs with twitching noses and hopeful stares. For some strange reason, Roc was also in the enclosure, hopping and flapping about to avoid the playful baby rabbits with an indignant look in his eyes, though too scared to attack with Mama Bun watching his every move. Annoyed by the rabbits efforts to bowl him over, Roc hopped over to Song with wings outstretched in a futile attempt to take flight. Catching him mid hop, Song brought him close to inspect for injuries but found him in perfect condition, his wings opening and closing without signs of pain or discomfort. Shaking her head in disbelief, Song let Roc perch on her shoulder as she fed and brushed the rabbits, all the while scouring her brain for ways to help a bird lose weight.
Only Rain could raise a bird too fat to fly. How did Roc even get back to camp last night?
With the rabbits all fed and Blackjack joining Roc on her shoulder, Song took a seat beside Niece Alsantset at her behest. Little Rain is lucky to have your help, Alsantset said, grinning as she passed Song a plate laden with food. Otherwise, I fear we would soon have a rabbit rebellion on our hands. Unsure how to respond, Song merely nodded and stared at her plate, eating in silence while Roc and Blackjack watched on. Though always warm and friendly, her half-tiger niece made Song feel inferior in every way, whether it be lineage, appearance, strength or skill. Confident and ferocious, Alsantset embodied everything Song hoped to be, yet feared she would never measure up.
Unperturbed by the lacklustre response, the older woman leaned in and whispered, I saw you peek into Little Rains yurt. I wanted to do the same, but Beloved scolded me for being nosy. Tell me, how do the newlyweds fare?
Swallowing a delicious mouthful of fragrant meat-bun, Song idly fed the hare and bird a few choice scraps and answered, Rain slept on the floor in his clothes. Luo-Luo was not present, but he had a pair of quins and five pups keeping him company.
Sucking her teeth, Niece Alsantset frowned and asked, But why? Shes so lovely, Id have thought hed exhaust himself f... Noticing her children listening nearby, she changed her line of questioning. Tell me, you were there when they met. Was he displeased with Luo-Luo? Is it because shes so much taller? Or... Does Little Rain have something against full-blooded women?
Leave it be, my flower, Charok admonished, shaking his head with a smile. You know how he is with strangers. Even if she were the most beautiful woman in the world, Little Rain would still balk at accepting a stranger into his life. Remember when we tried to help him make friends? It did not end well for anyone, especially those poor children.
Those brats deserved it. Crossing her arms with a petulant pout, Niece Alsantset defended Rain as always. I warned them to play nice yet they still scared him with their cruel pranks. My Little Rain was right to defend himself. Rolling his eyes, Charok said no more while Niece Alsantset stewed in anger. Scowling at Luo-Luos yurt, she lowered her voice to a whisper. And here I thought the girl capable, but it seems shes just another lazy, spoiled brat expecting to be pampered. She smiled and voiced no complaint while Mama spent a fortune hosting her lavish banquet and my beloved worked himself to the born preparing the feast, but when it came time for her to play her part, her charms failed to catch Rains eye. No, impossible. With his lecherous personality, if shed expressed even a hint of interest, Rain wouldve torn her clothes off and... Belatedly remember her nearby children, Niece Alsantset coughed to cover up what she was about to say. ...I bet every last coin I have its because she looks down on him and the Bekhai. Did you hear her yesterday? Tali has the most impeccable manners. Hmph. Like its so surprising, because were manner-less savages. She probably made up some excuse or another and Rain was too kind to press the issue. Three wives and not a one capable of caring for my little brother. I should never have let Yan leave with that old, doddering fool. Now there was a girl with a proper work ethic and eager to boot. I only hope shes still interested else... With a mournful sigh, Niece Alsantset patted Songs cheek and opened her mouth to speak, but thought better of it and held her tongue instead.
Uncomfortable with the direction their one-sided conversation had taken, Song hurriedly finished her breakfast and escaped, the subject of Du Min Yan ruining her appetite and leaving a sour taste in her mouth. Teacher Du discarded Song without a second thought, yet there were rumours abound of how he sacrificed everything to adopt Yan. What did she have that Song lacked? Was it solely due to her Awakening, or was there something more? Though formidable, Yans performance on stage wasnt enough to awe Song, not like Sister or Niece Alsantset could. Had she access to Teacher Dus undivided attention for eighteen months, Song was certain she could have handily defeated both Wu Gam and Rain.
For the first time in memory, Song arrived at the training field and Mister Rustram wasnt waiting with sword in hand to greet her. Unsure how to proceed, she stood in place and waited for her partner to arrive, eager to clear her mind and focus on practice. There were no complications when training with Mister Rustram, no need for conversation or polite manners, only an exchange of swords to their mutual benefit before going on their separate ways.
Lady Song. Interrupting her thoughts, Dastan offered her a slight bow and said, Mister Rustram regrets to inform you that since his Mentor demands his presence each morning, he no longer has time to train with your esteemed self. Flashing what he thought to be a charming smile, Dastan continued, Hes asked me to step in, or if youd prefer someone else, you have your pick of the retinue.
Oh? Happy for Mister Rustram but saddened to lose her training partner, Song nodded and followed Dastan onto the field, even though Mister Rustram usually chose a more secluded venue. Teacher Du once said Knowledge is a weapon more formidable than any blade, and Song took it to heart. Since the training field sat on the edge of camp, there were always strangers hanging about, everything from curious civilians, enterprising hawkers, and spies reporting everything they saw to their masters. Thus far, the makeshift fence, the Legates Imperial Decree, and general Bekhai distrust of strangers kept anyone from slipping in, but seeing as Rains enemies were bold enough to poison him in the Magistrates Palace, Song didnt expect any of their safety measures to hold for much longer.
To make matters worse, todays crowd was larger than ever before, their numbers swelled by the attendants of minor nobles and rich merchants hoping to catch the attention of Imperial Consort Falling Rain. Some even went as far as shouting invitations and propositions in hopes they would reach Rains ears, while others recognized Dastan by his Runic Shield and clamoured for his attention. Though he feigned indifference, Dastan enjoyed every bit of the attention, his back straight and held held high while looking everywhere except at the crowd. Thats what gave him away, trying too hard to appear disinterested which only served to show how interested he really was. Proving Songs intuition correct, Dastan stopped close to the fields edge even though there were plenty of others open areas for them to train in. The crowd moved in as close to the barricades as humanly possibly and called out for Dastans attention, asking insipid questions like, Will you challenge any of the other Hwarang?, Are you stronger than Falling Rain?, Is she (pointing at Song) your wife?, and other pointless queries.
Leaving him to answer their questions and basked in the attention, Song took her place and prepared for their match, her lips pursed in displeasure as he introduced her as Lieutenant General Akanais Daughter. Not that it wasnt true, but he left out so much more. Song was also Daughter of Divine Blacksmith Husolt and sister of Mila, the true number one talent in the Empire. Worse, from the baffled looks directed her way, she realized at least some recognized her green eyes and brown-fur ears which marked her as a half-beast slave from Central, shaming Mama and Papa alike. Although Dastan was also Oathsworn, but because of how well Rain treated him, unless someone purposely revealed his status, no one would ever know his shameful secret.
Almost a quarter hour later, Dastan was still chatting with the crowd and Song had almost reached the end of her patience. Dastan wasnt even an ideal training partner, the two of them too unevenly matched to do anything but spar. While sparring was a form of training, why spar with Dastan when she had Sister, Niece Alsantset, or even Rain to match blades with? In contrast, what made Mister Rustram an ideal training partner wasnt his strength, skill, or insight, but because he constantly made mistakes, and through identifying and correcting his mistakes, Song discovered flaws in her own style, an arrangement which benefited them both.
Enough, enough, Ive made my partner wait long enough. Smiling as he turned away from the crowd, Dastan finally took his place across from Song, his body relaxed and lips turned upwards in a smug, self-satisfied smile. Dangerous for them to spar with Spiritual Weapons, but Song didnt care to delay this farce for even a second more. After today, she would have an opening in her morning routine, for Dastans arrogance was far to much to stomach.
He didnt understand how blessed he was to have a master like Falling Rain.
My apologies, Lady Song. Whenever youre ready.
In response, Songs saber hummed through the air as she opened with a downward slash, prepared to clash head-on with the Runic shield. While unsure if the shields worked the same way, she knew her Runic armour boasted an effect which dampened impacts and assumed the shields would do the same. Armed with this knowledge, Song intended to take advantage of the dampening effect to turn her slash into a stab, allowing her to end the match in an instant.
Except somehow, Dastan side-stepped and avoided the attack, his movements so fluid and nimble it almost looked inhuman.
Cursing her negligence, Song disengaged and stepped back to re-evaluate her opponent. How could she forget why the crowd was so eager to hear him speak? Only yesterday, Dastan demonstrated his true skills, defeating Mitsue Hideo in a consummate display of skill and agility, a feat Song wasnt certain she could replicate. Whats more, though she defeated him time and time again in the past six months, they used common training weapons in those spars. This was the first time she faced him with Spiritual Weapon in hand, and he seemed like a different warrior altogether. During their previous spars, he always seemed driven and impatient, recklessly diving into battle in hopes of victory, but no more. Today, he stood across from her a changed man, tranquil and composed with a joyful gleam in his eyes. What she mistook for arrogance was in fact child-like glee, enjoying the challenge for what it was worth without heed for victory or defeat.
Interesting.
Abandoning her preconceived notions of his strength, Song moved in to exchange blows and test this new Dastan, absorbing and analyzing his every moment as they circled the field. Back and forth they went and neither one took the upper hand, their match silent but for the stomping of boots and panting of breath. First ten, then twenty, then thirty exchanges without the clang of saber meeting axe or shield, and not for lack of trying on either part. On their forty seventh exchange, the ring of metal on metal sounded out as Songs saber glanced off Dastans Runic shield.
Hm... The shield didnt dampen the impact, her blade bounced off its surface, which meant the shield was inferior to her armour. Unfortunately, this meant that if she had connected with the first blow and he responded with an active parry, the match would have indeed been over in a single exchange as she hoped, except it would have ended with her loss.
After more than a hundred exchanges, Song finally had a grasp on his movements. Wolf Form Circling the Grass, Oriole Form Rising Steps, and Snake Form Slithering Pursuit, three different movements from three different Forms, not exactly merged into something new but instead working in delicate harmony, his constantly shifting movements seeming unpredictable and erratic without sacrificing balance or poise. In order to control these movements, Dastan constantly shifted his centre of gravity by alternating Lightening and Stability at varying magnitudes. A difficult task even without distraction, but Dastan accomplished in the midst of battle as easily as turning his hand.
When did he become so proficient at Chi manipulation? Was this the advantage provided by a Natal Palace?
Stalking the Dragon, Swiping the Rushes, Reversing the Flow, into Fanged Clutch, even Songs most trusted combination failed to find an opening in his defence, though she managed to grab hold of his shield. Wrenching it aside with an effort of pure strength, she leapt up and twisted her body in mid air, driving both boots firmly into Dastans exposed face. Tucking into a roll, she came to her feet with saber at the ready, but Dastan hands were held up in defeat. Mercy, Lady Song, he said, his smile bloodied but genuine as he clasped his hands in respect. Once again, I am awed by your skill and strength.
After a moment of hushed silence, the shocked crowd burst into cheers and applause, delighted by the show of Martial skill. Breathless and ashamed, Song offered Dastan a salute and left, her feet carrying her away as quickly as they could without breaking into a run.
The winning move was something Mama forbade her to use, for the last time Song tried it, Rain punched her in the back of the head. Judging by how quickly Dastan recovered, he also had time enough to lop off her head, but instead chose to forfeit. Song believed she was still at the forefront of her peers, but Dastans remarkable improvement proved her wrong. No matter what Mama said, without strength, Song served no purpose, so she had no choice but to condense her Natal Palace as soon as possible.
Only... she didnt know how and Mama was too busy to teach her. What was she to do?
One thing was for certain... Song would have to have a discussion with Rain about taking better care of his pets.
Comments
Aaron Martinez
Not a fan of this chapter, but I'm way more upset by various excessively harsh or excessively mean comments. Especially the one on WordPress insulting Li Song. Ruff: yeah, you're right it's not the best chapter. I take comfort from this: you have the ability to judge the quality of your own work, so I expect we'll return to quality plenty soon
Yeah you're right by saying that ruff. Chapter felt kinda unnecessary and people behave strongly out of character. Maybe only Dastan behaves normally considering the cirumstances, because thats how Song perceives him. I wouldn't mind if you skip one release to keep quality. I know a lot is happening and need a lot of chapters but this chapter seems too long and too unnecessary. Greetings Daniel
I felt this chapter really did not add anything to the story and the characters personalities were off. Other wise it was a fun read good filler. Song does not really get to many point of view chapters to show us who she is as a character.
Thenais
What a trainwreck ! - Unnecessary recap. - Alsantset openly discussing sex with a rape victim (song got all the symptoms) in front of children. - Song jaleousy of Yan feels ooc : she seems unaware of her slave status. - Oathsworn Dastan ooc : with such heavy sin in your backpack, you just don't go full attention whoring :p but i enjoyed the quins scene :)
Meschmee
Early in the chapter she seemed to go from being in Rains yurt with the bunnies to then being with the bunnies with Altsanset.
Alan McBrayer
Dastan's shift in personality is an obvious reaction to being one of the top young talents once again. He is evolving as a character.
Thundermike00
You know if you think your making bad chapters, why not take a week or 2week long break to write out your plot and think the ways that you would think in a relax setting to better your chapters since you think they are bad. My grammar sucks btw
Cameron C
Dastan is the only character I’m unsure about
Oof, I think I'd prefer to wait it out and not read this if you don't even like what it came out to be. Thanks for the warning post. :) I'll wait a bit longer and see what you swap it out for, if you do.
