RuffWriter
patreon
Chapter 355 first draft, no edit.
🕑 Added 2018-07-24 01:24:21 +0000 UTCEnding sucks, but my fingers hurt and my belly empty, so here it is.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GRzRQJHSWndeAARJPd72-Y80BHWL7kHNmaHKYYXsjdY/edit?usp=sharing
To Luo-Luos great relief, Lord Husband accepted the good-natured but humiliating event in stride, merely scowling and muttering angrily beneath his breath instead of losing his head. Shooting the still-chuckling Medical Saint a disgruntled frown, Lord Husband quipped, Keep laughing Teacher, and your lunch will be just a plate of steamed vegetables. Same for the rest of you.
Instantly composing himself, Medical Saint Taduk cleared his throat and said, A brave sacrifice made in the pursuit of knowledge, Rain my boy. We had to be sure. Er, you are joking, right? You wouldnt deprive your doting Teacher and soon-to-be Father-in-Law of meat would you? Why, thatd be downright inhumane. Turning to Luo-Luo, he straightened up and smiled, his pearly white teeth in stark contrast to his creamy, golden-brown skin. You see, I am of the lineage of the most illustrious creature of the skies, a Cloud Chaser Hare, predator of fish and fowl alike.
Hmph. Cross me and youll eat nothing but rabbit food for an entire week. Breaking out into a grin at the eccentric and handsome Medical Saints horrified expression, Lord Husband embraced his teacher, their relationship essentially one of father and son. Well, that was thoroughly horrifying, and while Id love nothing more than to stay and bask in the afterglow, the real fun is about to begin. You sure you dont want to come watch the lion dance and spend time with everyone?
No, no, large crowds and loud noises are not for me. You go enjoy, Rain my boy. Reclaiming his rock soaking in a bowl of water, the Medical Saint placed it back on his head and shooed them out. Too much to study and prepare for. Dont overexert yourself, weve plenty to do once the days festivities come to an end. Now that we know the octopus likes you, we can hopefully move on and follow it home to witness what it does with... er... in its natural habitat.
Though curious why they were so interested in observing an octopus in the wild, Luo-Luo held her tongue and followed Lord Husband back to the wagon. The golden wildcat Aurie sat waiting for their return and Lord Husband greeted it with a pat on the head, his lips pursed in a disgruntled frown. I may need to reevaluate how I treat my pets, he said to no one in particular. Have I been sending the wrong signal this entire time? Are all of them going to try and forcibly mate with me?
His bizarre query had Mila and Lin-Lin in stitches as they laughed at the side, but Lord Husband sounded so despondent, Luo-Luos heart wept. Seeking to console him, she stepped close and kept her voice low, worried some errant bystander might overhear and cause ruinous damage to his reputation. Lord Husband, this may not be so. Love comes in many forms and not every person or creature reacts in the same manner. Bringing to mind her brief yet enjoyable encounter with his Talent, she tried to define the experience with mere words, though she knew it wouldnt measure up. In Luo-Luos case, she felt nothing obscene or suggestive, only a sensation of... warmth and belonging, as if being welcomed home after a long, extended absence. Colours looked brighter, the air smelled sweeter, and a shiver ran through my body as it shed stress and tension I didnt know I carried. I wanted nothing more than to fall into your arms, where safety and comfort awaited me, then close my eyes and just enjoy the sensation.
And so much more. Wrapped in his strong, inviting arms, hed hold her close and kiss her gently, telling her how beautiful she looked while his hands traced her body, undoing her clothes ever so slowly in a sensual, teasing manner...
...Then how did you conclude that Sir Inky wanted to... you know?
Cheeks burning with shame, Luo-Luo realizing not only had she slipped and spoken far too casually, shed also drifted off into silence for several seconds while lost in her fantasies. Staring at her feet, she whispered, Well, once in Lord Husbands arms, the next logical step would be...to... ahem. I just assumed the octopus might think the same.
Naughty. Leaping into her embrace, Lin-Lins eyes twinkled and grin teased as she listened to Luo-Luos pounding heart. So dirty minded, youre just like Yan-Yan and Rainy.
Mortified and embarrassed, Luo-Luo cursed her lascivious mind and willed her heart to slow, though neither organ cared to listen. Smoothing out her hair, she put on her best demure and ladylike demeanour despite knowing it was all for naught. First the disgusting and stomach-turning incident in the latrine tent and now shed exposed her indecent ways, if he didnt already then Lord Husband surely held her in contempt now. As I said, there is nothing inherently sexual about Lord Husbands Talent, but love comes in many forms. Love for a parent, a child, a friend, or paramour, it all depends on how the recipient interprets your Talent.
I see. Turning to the wagon, Lord Husbands eyes narrowed in focus as he employed his Talent, and like magic, Mama Buns head popped up in response. Leaping out of the wagon in a single bound, she hopped over to Lord Husbands leg and rose up with paws outstretched, her nose twitching in adorable delight while the tiny black hare nestled between her ears clung for dear life. Kneeling in the grass, Lord Husband hugged them close as they both nuzzled against his cheek, a sure sign of affection as any. Yes, its because Sir Inky, like all octopuses, is a degenerate pervert. Theres nothing vulgar about our love, right Mama Bun? Right Blackjack? Youre both pure, moral creatures, who only want snuggles and snackies, dont you?
His mood much improved, Lord Husband marched off carrying Mama Bun and Blackjack, while the rest of them followed behind. Glad to have played a part, Luo-Luo hung back with Li-Li while Mila and Lin-Lin linked arms with Lord Husband. Staring enviously at the loving trio, Luo-Luo wondered if Lord Husband used his Talent on them often, sharing his inner-most emotions with them in a unique and unheard of manner. Even if he were half his height and thrice as cruel, Luo-Luo would still crave his touch and attention once he turned his Talent upon her. It wasnt that she felt compelled to, but when he flooded her with sensations of safety and acceptance, she almost fell into his arms out of sheer instinct, decorum and morality be damned.
What a terrifying ability, to make someone feel loved. Of course the animals adored him so, his Talent was so pleasant and gratifying it was almost addictive. It was a politicians dream come true, a method to charm allies and enemies alike, binding them to his side with nothing more than love and affection.
More importantly, what would it be like to lay with him while under the influence of his Talent?
Determined to find out, Luo-Luo put aside all apprehension and unease as she resolved to win her Lord Husbands affections no matter the cost. What did she have to complain about? Not only did he possess consummate Martial Skill, a humble, amicable attitude, and a brilliant mind, her Lord Husband also had the backing of a future Emperor and possibly even the Mother Herself. Sure, the Guardian Turtles presence could be attributed to his Talent, but his Talent was a Heaven-sent blessing, so there was no foul play involved.
Six, long years she waited, but watching Falling Rain socialize with young magistrates, fledgling Experts, and future generals, Luo-Luo knew it had been well worth the wait. He, a distinguished Warrior, peerless and dominating on the battlefield, and she the most outstanding Imperial Servant of her generation, theirs was a match made in Heaven.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The second day of the Imperial Grand Conference begins with banging drums, clashing cymbals, and ringing gongs, sounding out in a single, synchronized rhythm all across Nan Ping. The frantic, pulsating beat brings the watching crowd surging to their feet for a glimpse of the dancing lions, and theyre not left waiting for long as the lions come prancing into view. There are hundreds of them scattered throughout the city and they come in all colours of the rainbow, their large eyes blinking and furred ears twitching as their comically oversized heads dart back and forth and their feet step in concert with the beat. Every now and then, a lucky audience member gets their head engulfed by a lions mouth, but they always emerge safe and smiling.
Its good, clean fun I can really get behind, especially after yesterdays soul-crushing revelations and harrowing ordeals. Still need some alone time to figure things out, but thisll tide me over until I can.
Throughout the streets, the people have hung cabbages from their rooftops and balconies and the lions are more than happy to partake, climbing walls and columns in convoluted, gravity-defying feats of acrobatics to devour their leafy offerings. Some of the lions fight over cabbages while others work together to gather them from difficult to reach places, whether it be boosting another on its shoulders, forming a lion pyramid, or using prearranged objects like ladders, tables, and even seesaws to reach their goal. After chewing the cabbages to shreds, the lion will lift its head to the sky and spit out cabbage in an explosion of tattered green ribbons to the delight of everyone watching, before moving on to find its next offering and repeating the process.
All in all, the Lion Dance is pretty awesome, after I got over my disappointment after learning the lions werent actually lions and were just two dudes in a costume.
In my defence, calling it a lion dance is misleading, especially considering the Royal Guardians rode in on actual, living, breathing lions. The costumes arent even really lions, just lion-shaped in appearance, with fanciful patterns woven into their fur and stylized faces only barely resembling lions. That said, Im thoroughly impressed with how detailed their costumes are. Each lion sports an oversized head complete with a working mouth, blinking eyes, and twitching ears, though how the performers move them is a mystery. More impressive is their flowing movements, with each two person team of Martial Warriors going to great lengths to bring their lion to life and act like a pretty kitty. Whether it be running, leaping, or even doing somersaults and back flips, their gestures are all done in time to the beat and never break character, with high, proud steps, lashing tails, startled backwards leaps, and curious head tilts all adding to the authenticity of their performance.
While its all in good fun, my first impression of Lion Dancing is mixed at best. The music and spectacle is impressive and highly entertaining, but training Martial Warriors for a performance dance feels like a massive waste of time and resources, especially of cabbage. So much cabbage. That said, Vichy claims his impressive swordsmanship was not derived from the Forms, but from dances learned in stage opera, which means there might be more to Lion Dancing than meets the eye. Whats more, all the acrobatics and flashy moments help practice teamwork, coordination, Lightening, and a whole host of other other miscellaneous skills valuable to a soldier in the field, so maybe its not a complete waste of time, but there are probably much more effective ways to train your warriors.
The music and dancing continues as the lions make their way down to the docks, gathering in an explosion of colour and acrobatics. The music seamlessly changes rhythms at least a dozen times but the dancers never falter in their journey. At their destination, an enormous pyramid of cabbage sits atop a fancy gilded altar, and I can only thank the Mother Ping-Ping didnt sniff it out and eat it before the festivities began. Rather than the expected feeding frenzy, the Lion Dancers fall into line and gather around, dancing in thanks if this massive offering, though Im a little confused why theyre feeding leafy greens to lions. Mila rolls her eyes while Lin and the twins all laugh when I voice my confusion, but Luo-Luo chimes in with a helpful explanation. The cabbage is a sign of prosperity, she says, A symbolic blessing left by the lion to signify an abundance of luck in the coming year.
...Does that mean the pile of cabbages at my wedding wasnt actually meant for eating? Did Ping-Ping devour all my luck and leave me with nothing?
Ah who am I kidding, Ive never been lucky, but Ill muddle through regardless.
The music comes to a crescendo as the last lion joins the fray, with hundreds of dancers moving in careful coordination to the frenzied drumbeat. The lion heads pop up and bow down in alternating pairs as they circle the altar in an odd, multi-coloured lion conga line presumably meant to praise cabbage. Up and down, round and round, the lions glorify their cabbage pyramid, celebrating their gathered wealth before the Heavens.
The music screeches to a halt, the drums stilled, the cymbals stopped, the gongs silenced, so sudden and absolute I worry Ive gone deaf. Then, I hear the quiet jingle of Talis bells, her braids billowing in the wind as she sits atop Charoks shoulders, watching with bated breath as the wary, motionless lions all stare at the city, their fangs bared and eyes open, ready to defend their gathered wealth. The tension builds as I scan the streets, alleys, and rooftops for this unseen foe, but to no avail.
A shrieking howl cuts through the silence and as one, the audience turns their head to the skies. The drums sound slowly in a measured, three note cadence, reminiscent of a booming heartbeat as a silken, serpentine dragon soars through the sky in an undulating wave, its azure scales shimmering in the sunlight. No less than eight pairs of legs poke out from beneath the dragon, eight experts working to slither across open air, a show of force most suitable to represent this mythical beast. Taking a wide, circuitous route, the dragon flies around the city like a sovereign surveying its land, the lions warily watching wherever it goes, restrained by its magnificence, but far from subdued.
Settling onto the floating stage with grace and aplomb, the slithering dragon raises its horned head and flexes its claws, which I note are actually taloned shoes on one of the puppeteers. Screeching in challenge, the dragon lunges towards the pack of lions, looking to scare them away from their hard earned tribute. The music shifts and the rhythm slowly speeds up as the lions back away from the dragons advance, until their bottom line is reached and a handful roar in defiance. Bolstered by the courage of these brave individuals, the pride holds its ground and form up behind their champions, prepared to fight to the death and bring this invader to its knees.
The music reaches a furious tempo, a speedy drum roll echoing without end. A pride of majestic lions, the king of beasts, facing off against a fearsome dragon, the symbol of Emperors since time immemorial. Powerful they may be, a lion is no match for a dragon, but the lions are many and the dragon alone. Should the Imperial beast push things too far, even it might meet its end at the fangs of the force arrayed against it. Who will win? None could say for certain, but should things progress as they are, we will soon find out.
Battle is joined and with a crash of gongs which throws off the musics rhythm, so offbeat it must be a mistake. Drawn to the city in search of the offender, my eyes pick out countless dark figures perched across the city, laying in wait and lurking in the shadows while the lions and dragon face off. Cymbals join the fray in a tumultuous din, so discordant and unpleasant I almost want to cover my ears, but I cannot spare the attention. With each passing second, more dark figures are revealed, grotesque, hideous creatures of nightmare and sin, their faces twisted in delight as they take in the battle before them. The Dragon fights fiercely and lions die beneath its fury, but not without cost as more lions leap into the fray to avenge their fallen comrades and injure the creature, tearing scales off to reveal red flesh underneath and burying the dragon beneath the weight of numbers.
All the while, the dark figures continue to grow in number, flocking to Nan Pings roofs and moving closer and closer to the docks, watching and waiting until the balance of power shifts in their favour. Slowly, but surely, the dragon weakens and the lions dwindle, until finally, believing the day is theirs, the dark figures let loose with a cacophony of shrill cackles, and instantly the battle between lions and dragon comes to a halt.
Up until now, the performance was sublime, but my interest evaporates once I realize the rest of the story. The dragon and lions, once bitter rivals, join forces to fight the dark interlopers, eventually defeating the invaders and carrying the day, though at great loss, for the cabbages are all destroyed in the bitter battle. I get what they were going for, the lions are the outer provinces while the dragon is the East, and though we may butt heads from time to time, we must now unite against the Defiled else all will be lost.
Blergh.
We would have been better served if the dragon and lions all died and THEN the evil foreigners revealed themselves. Thatll teach everyone to fight over cabbages.
As the Lion Dance comes to an end, the crowds thunderous cheers shake the ground as the performers take their bows. When the Legate steps out from beneath the dragons head, the applause reaches ear-splitting proportions as the audience goes crazy at the reveal, awed and gratified to have witnessed his Imperial self take the stage for their entertainment. Storytelling gripes aside, Shen ZhenWu really knows how to work a crowd, strutting about with his dragon leggings and waving at the audience while the rest of the performers kowtow in costume.
Once finished basking in his applause, he holds his hands up for silence and the crowd obliges. People of the Empire, he begins, and I quickly turn an eye to those around me, watching to see how they react. While there is much to celebrate in this gathering of heroes, let us not lose sight of why we have gathered here today. After millennia of conflict, the Enemy has finally breached our defences, and the West has fallen. Lowering his head, the Legate offers a moment of silence for the fallen and Nan Ping responds in kind. I cant figure out what it is about him that makes him so charismatic. Its gotta be more than his pretty smile or poignant delivery, a few simple words has the audience ready to ride out and meet the Defiled on the field of combat. Even Tali and Tate look adorably ready to lend aid to the defence, their cherubic faces set in grim determination, a stark contrast from their usual, fun-loving selves.
Maybe its not the Legates speech. Maybe Im the weird one for not feeling the same way, but I just dont have it in me to hate the Defiled, not while knowing what I know.
The moment of silence over, the Legate raises his head and resumes his speech. We stand against an Enemy united, working in concert toward a singular goal: the destruction of the Azure Empire. Should we fail to stop them they will burn our cities, raze our lands, kill our soldiers, and torture our citizens, for no reason other than our mere existence. His gaze sweeps out over the city and his tone takes a chilling turn. Yet even now, with the Enemy at our doorstep, there are those among you who seek advantage in the chaos, who put their own interests above all else at the cost of the Empires well being. Only yesterday morning, on this stage, Falling Rain defeated his peers to become the number one talent in the Empire. Yay, go me. To nurture and develop his talent, I raised him to Imperial Peerage through marriage, and hope to raise others who prove worthy of of it. Yea, thanks for making my life even more complicated, really appreciate it. Not. In spite of his new status and an Imperial Decree, someone had the AUDACITY to make an attempt on his life.
Gratified by all the gasps of outrage, I stand a little taller in the face of all the attention, though really, everyone around me already knows what happened. On stage, the Legate raises his hands for silence once again, and the audiences outrage dies down to a hush. Snapping his fan open to display the dragon etched upon it, the Legate says, This insult will not stand. The criminal will be found and the perpetrators sentenced to Nine Familial Deaths. Should the guilty party step forth now, your family will be spared. Fan still open, he stands and waits, a full minute passing in complete silence. When no one comes forth, the Legate shakes his head and utters, So be it. Closing the fan, he tucks it back into his belt before continuing. Know that my tolerance is at its end. Any further dissension will be punished to the full extent of the law, whether the perpetrator be noble or common born. Only united, can we stand against the Enemy.
Tch. Shouldve gone with, United we Stand, Divided we Fall. Wouldve really hammered the point home. I should write speeches....
Unaware of my critique, the Legate continues his long-ass speech. In the interest of promoting harmony and discovering hidden talents, we have organized a staggering array of contests and challenges in the days to come. Feats of strength, skill, speed, and spirit will take place, open to any and all who seek to join and with remarkable prizes of coin, rank, and gear waiting to be claimed by the victors. Come, rise up to the occasion and defeat all challengers to mark your name down in the annals of history!
Oh wow. This is perfect. I can totally skip all the contests and finally have some time to myself.
Comments
Aaron Martinez
"First the disgusting and stomach-turning incident in the latrine tent and now she’d exposed her indecent ways, if he didn’t already then Lord Husband surely held her in contempt now." The irony is that these incidents are the start of his affection for her. Also, not only is Luo-Luo so much fun, I confess it's a delight watching this accelerated (prescribed) bonding between them.
Aaron Martinez
Yes!! Was so hoping for more Luo-Luo. She's always so much fun :)
Meschmee
Don't know what the word count was but that felt like a nice meaty chapter.
Meschmee
Who says Mila won't participate.
ThePolarParadox
All those contests and the No 1 talent refuses to participate!? UNACCEPTABLE!!!
Andrew
Thank you!
