Patrefans
RuffWriter from patreon
RuffWriter patreon

Chapter 618

🕑 Added 2020-08-12 00:19:52 +0000 UTC

Comments

Noah

Good chapter, I like that Rain is from our world but the biggest changes he tries to bring from our world are social and seeing the worth of people. A lot of stories focus on tech from our world despite the fact that no ordinary person knows how to build it with Medieval tech. Just had a quick suggestion. You used the same phrase twice, when you described Rain using chi in his voice. Both times were, “He did this more often of late.” Might be good to switch it up, I know I always have trouble noticing that when I write.

yea i know, but i still like heavy more than uneasy. Uneasy is like... just whining. Heavy is making a statement.

Pacnether

I think it’s at a good level where it doesn’t become a distraction from plot development

Michael Henson

Lou Lou seems to be entirely unaware of "Trusty ol Lefty." As rain puts it.

Michael Henson

Ain't that the brutal truth.

Pavante

This may be a controversial statement but... this chapter has the exact right amount of pet stuff. Please don’t spend too much more time on that in the edited versions, unless there is some explicit plot relevant detail we are missing. What you have written so far gets the point across without stalling on the other exciting developments in this chapter.

A disgruntled nondescript squirrel

Mila best wife, Lou Lou best wifu

Boredwayfarer

I saw someone suggest the edit "heavy is the head...", and i thought if you want to use the "lies the head", the quote is actually "uneasy lies the head..." so you can choose which to use! Hahha unless you're intentionally misquoting it for humor

Morog T Tiny

luo luo brings tension to the story line. ruff needs to have something to escalate tension on another front first, before relieving her(cough cough) tension.

Zarik0

Luo-Luo..... you make me crack a smile all time :P Its all for the conquer of the D :P

Luis Rubio

I hope that Rain fucks LuoLuo during the following chapters, she deserves it . lol

rizen

Soldiers win Battles. Logisticians win Wars.

editing and more typos on release... "uighhh". You meant "ughhh"

Andrew

Thank you!

Allastin

I like the use of that word, “poignant”. I looked up the varying definitions and it seems to encapsulate the beginning quote quite nicely.

Man proposes and heavens disposes. rhymes are funn

What was the saying again? Man plans and heavens disposes? All too happy to see Rain in his element though.


More Creators