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Priscilla Pain Blog
🕑 Added 2023-10-02 23:06:57 +0000 UTCHi everyone! Happy October!!! I’m beyond excited to introduce to all of you my new character, Priscilla Pain! This is a character I’ve had in mind for quite some time and finally felt it was right to spend this year developing her character. I have a lot to share about the process of bringing her to life and creating for this project. Trick or Treat tier members will receive BTS photos from this project. There will be additional BTS uploaded for Bad Witch tier members, which will include exclusive photos, videos, and more! For all Patreon members, you will get a detailed blog about this project, as well as exclusive photos that I will be sharing throughout the month of October. Now that I’ve introduced my new character, let’s get started!
Ever since I can remember, I have been very drawn to the sexy nurse aesthetic for Halloween. This may have possibly stemmed from watching Silent Hill for the first time as a young teen haha, but for many years I collected several nurse costumes and would wear them to various shows and events. As time went on, I no longer fit into those outfits, and began to part with all of them. Having never forgotten my love for the classic look, I began to imagine a nurse character in my mind that would grow in detail over time. This character for me is a reflection of what happens to people, particularly women, when they're expected to always be “on”, smile, and serve others, regardless of their own struggles, and how it feels to pour from an empty cup.
Now, to be clear, I believe everyone deals with this to a degree. I know there are many men who feel the pressure of providing, while internally falling apart. This is not a problem exclusive to women, I’m simply sharing the things I’ve observed as a woman, and am not comfortable speaking on behalf of men. However, I see you, I hear you, and I know you have a load of pressure on you as well.
Since we have that clarified, I’ll move on. I’ve spoken before about how each character is inspired by my own life experiences and that my characters often reflect an exaggerated version of a current or past version of myself. In this case, I would have to say this is a collected combination of what I have gathered while observing the women in my life, myself included. Exaggerated to tell a story, but always with great intention.
Earlier this year, I began to sketch a costume design for this character, knowing that it was time to finally bring this vision to life. At all times, I have a bunch of different character ideas floating around in my head. When I feel the time is right, I select whichever character I’m ready to dive into. For this year’s first project, I chose Priscilla.
Elegant, alluring, and jovial. Beneath the surface is a fractured psyche from the pressure of the image she feels she has to uphold. I wanted this character to have a seemingly perfect vintage image, while showing how truly unwell she really is. In the photo titled ‘Duality‘, you can see Priscilla looking happy as ever to get you checked in to the hospital and care for you. At the same time, in the reflection on the glass you can clearly see that she herself is not okay.
I’m sure many of you can think back on a time in your life when you weren’t at your best, but the best was still expected of you, if not demanded. If this resonates, then this character is for you. Too often in society we are quick to label the unwell as “crazy”, when in reality, they’ve simply had too much and have yet to have the opportunity to heal. Being that I am currently, and have been, on my own personal healing journey for the past few years, I couldn’t think of a better time to work on Priscilla.
Now that we’ve covered some of the symbolism of the character and photos, let’s get into the design of the costume. When I think of a vintage color palette, my mind automatically goes to soft muted mint and pink tones. I felt that mint green was the best shade to choose for Priscilla’s nurse costume rather than going with a traditional white. The collapsing ceiling and wallpaper in the ‘Sanatorium‘ photo couldn’t have been more perfect for the world I wanted her to exist in. Soft and delicate, yet falling apart.
Luckily for us this season, I already knew the perfect location I wanted to venture back to for this character. The location in mind was a huge reason I decided to begin working on this character for 2023. We originally visited the Indiana Sanatorium last October. You can read all about our time spent there in a blog I shared in October of 2022.
Like many of the other places we had been, the Sanatorium was gorgeous, yet somehow unlike anywhere we had been in the past. What really stood out to me and made a lasting impression was the energy of this place. Typically when arriving to these locations, it truly feels like stepping into another world. It’s generally very peaceful, but this time felt different. The energy here was “off”.
The feeling of being uneasy and disturbed while at the Indiana Sanatorium previously in 2022, was exactly what I wanted people to feel while looking at the project we created for Priscilla this year. I initially left that location feeling so inspired and couldn’t wait to plan for the following Halloween. If you’re new here, feel free to go back and read what I had to say about our first experience while shooting here.
In late Spring, Brendan and I reached out to Gregg, the owner of the property, and asked his permission to come again and create for our next project. Gregg, as always, was very welcoming and kind. After a few delays (life happens), we locked in a date with Gregg and headed towards Indiana on August 12th to shoot the following morning.
Once we locked in the date, I worked on the details for the character. Makeup, contacts, earrings, prop, and of course, the hair. Before getting everything sorted and ready to leave for this project, there had to be drama, right? Right. The week of the shoot, we had everything ready to go, but then unfortunately, I became very sick that week, which caused us to push the shoot back 2 days. Not a big deal, but while being sick, I felt so defeated and concerned that I wouldn’t be able to pull an all nighter getting ready after traveling and then perform for an additional 8 hours in character for this project.
Before deciding to go to the doctor and take their advice, I continued to work on preparing for the shoot, custom making Priscilla’s earrings, packing, and perfecting the bangs of her hair with many trial runs.
Against what I would normally do, I finally listened to the doctor and got some much needed rest. When Saturday arrived and it was time to drive to Indiana, I actually felt “okay”; still sick, but could absolutely pull it together. I will say that although I was sick, I had an incredible time. Creating for this project was a blast. I’m beyond grateful I put aside my stubborn ways in order to get better. Kind of ironic for the character, huh? Haha.
When we arrived that evening in Indiana, we grabbed a pizza, ate a few slices in bed, and I passed out for a quick 2 hour nap. When my alarm went off at midnight, I woke up, showered, and got to work on my makeup. I made a small cup of hotel coffee and sipped it slowly while I began my transformation. Once I was ready to get dressed, Brendan awoke to load our luggage into the car and head out to the location!
I felt quite pleased with how everything turned out while getting ready, and though I didn’t feel my best, I was so grateful to be there and was ready to go. The ride to the location was about 35 minutes from the hotel. While driving, we enjoyed the peaceful foggy journey with many visiting crow friends flying around. When we arrived, we met up with Gregg, and then got started!
Before we got all of our equipment out of the car, we decided it would be a good idea to do a walkthrough of the buildings we wanted to use for our “set” so we could map out the best route for shooting and save some time, ya know? I cracked open a Monster, and Brendan grabbed the flashlight. Off we went to the first building, which was the Administration Building. I’m not going to lie to you guys just to seem tough; based on our last visit to this location, I was scared haha! Brendan was too. I walked behind him the entire time while slowly sipping my Monster Energy drink. He narrated the entire walkthrough (as he does when he too is nervous lol).
I must say, to our surprise, nothing paranormal occurred this time. After we did our walkthrough, I felt a huge sense of relief and we began to gather the equipment to get started in the Administration Building. This is where we took the photo ‘Duality‘.
Because we arrived so early in the morning, the building, as you can imagine, was pretty dark on the inside. We brought a generator and lighting equipment to help us through the majority of the shoot. Often times we rely on natural light. For this shoot, the only photos with natural light are ‘Sanatorium‘ and ‘Psychosis‘. Lugging around all the equipment throughout the property, including various buildings and stairs, wasn’t ideal, but totally worth it.
Once we completed our photos in the Administration Building hallway, we moved on to what was on the other side of the wall. Here you will see Priscilla on the phone seemingly frustrated haha. I have to say, this character was very fun to get into; her personality is wild, and I loved it. I’m sure many who have worked in customer service can understand the look on her face haha.
After wrapping it up in that area, we moved onto a nearby room and took a photo of me peeking into the filing cabinet. What’s so fascinating about this place, is that everything was left behind and all of the paperwork for patients is still there. Brendan and I took some time to look through some of the files, and it became a bit overwhelming at times.
Sidebar, in this blog I will be referring to some photos that I have yet to share, but will be sharing throughout the month of October. While sharing them, I will give more details to the particular shot and area of the location in which the photos were taken. Okay, let’s get back into it!
While Brendan carried the equipment downstairs to the morgue, I sat and took some time to reflect on everything I was feeling while shooting at this location. I was sitting in the main open room with the staircase in the Administration Building. The front doors were propped open, sunlight was coming through, and I felt at peace. After my little break, it was back to work and down the stairs in my ridiculous boots (which stayed on the 8 hours we were there). This was to ensure the bandages on my legs didn’t come undone. When I’m in the zone for a shoot, not much bothers me. I truly love what I do, and felt so happy to be there doing it!
If you’ve been here a while, you may remember me mentioning the morgue last October when I wrote about our 2022 Trixy project. There was no way in hell you could have gotten me to go near this area last year. I was far too scared, and the vibe coming from that area was an overwhelming feeling that I should stay away. Even if I wanted to venture off to that area, I physically felt as though I couldn’t and shouldn't. Something or someone did not want me there.
This time was the total opposite. Brendan and I spent quite some time shooting in this area and used a flashlight to guide our way. I’m grateful the spirits weren’t poppin’ off this time and allowed us to do our thing. In this area, I believe Brendan captured some really great shots. He was able to capture the “deranged” side of my character (as my cousin said, when she first looked at these photos) haha!
After finishing downstairs, we went upstairs to venture off into the nurses station, which is said to be incredibly haunted and active (especially at night). Though I felt a bit on edge, there was nothing active at the time we were shooting
At this point, the location was opening up the public and people began to show up for self guided tours. Luckily, everyone who showed up was incredibly kind and into what we were doing. They were respectful and let us do our thing. We appreciated the kind feedback and continued to work while they explored.
While sitting on one of the hospital beds in the nursing home, I began to feel a bit sad. Before choosing which room to shoot in, we walked through many rooms and I couldn’t help but think about all of the people who once considered these rooms their home. Not that long ago, this place looked entirely different. The doors to the Sanatorium officially closed in 2011.
After using what we could as a set near the nurses station, we moved back towards the hallway with the collapsing ceiling. This area was where the second to last photo that we captured that day took place, 'Sanatorium'. I loved the pastel palette of this hallway. It looked once seemingly cheerful and pleasant, and now, much like Priscilla, was falling apart.
After we nailed the ‘Sanatorium‘ shot, we moved onto our last shot of the day, ‘Psychosis‘. When we first walked through earlier that morning, I noticed a bulletin board at the bottom of the stairs of the psychiatric ward. The message on it read “Help me find ___ please”. I immediately got the idea of spelling out the character’s name for a fun reveal when sharing these photos.
The most difficult part of this shot was compiling the letters. Other than that, it was pretty ideal! The front doors were wide open which provided us with incredible lighting. After about 15 minutes, that was a wrap! The shoot was done and it was time to head back home.
Throughout the entire shoot, my arms and fingers were in pain. This costume was custom made and fit like a glove, BUT let me tell you, the gloves gave me very limited circulation the entire 9 hours I wore them. Upon removing the gloves, I had large gashes on my forearms and puss was oozing out of them. Super cute haha! Taking that costume off felt like a dream. Though I was a bit banged up, I could not have been happier that day. The shoot went exactly as I hoped it would and I felt at peace.
I hope you all enjoyed hearing about this character and shoot. I will be sharing more about this shoot, as well as exclusive photos throughout the rest of the month. If you want more from this shoot, check out the BTS we compiled for Trick or Treat & Bad Witch tier members!
Thank you all so much for your continued love and support. I can’t wait to show you what we have planned next for the October!
Much love!
Angelica
Comments
Don Krouskop
Really want the backstories to all of these wonderful characters!
Cassie
You truly never fail to amaze me, and make me feel something so deep. Sometimes I feel like you must be in my head as every new character you share with us seems to fit in perfectly with my life at the time, which I am incredibly grateful for. I can feel the mask of Priscilla’s personality and the representation you discussed, and it hits incredibly hard. I teared up while reading this. She hits so close, as a woman, and also on a whole other spectrum of someone with autism, the molding yourself into being what society wants you to be is exhausting and maddening. Thank you again for sharing with us, these characters and the stories behind them that are so deeply personal to you. I admire you so much, and I appreciate your existence as a human being, and all of these characters were lucky enough to meet. They mean a lot. Thank you. I can’t wait to see what else October has in store 🖤🖤
Sean Collings
Your work and characters are always amazing. Priscilla is awesome, hopefully she will make a lot more appearances soon, especially for Halloween. Talking of Halloween, maybe Trixy will be making a special appearance soon?
William Perry
Great character. Great photos. Great location. Amazing as always ❤️🖤🌹
John Juhl
LOVE IT! 👊😉 Quite The Costume IDEA Darlin..!
