Zogarth
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Chapter 1000 - Celebration
🕑 Added 2024-10-17 11:01:08 +0000 UTC<AUTHOR NOTE>
Despite it just being an arbitrary number with no real significance… WOO, 1000 CHAPTERS, HYPE!!! WOOO!!!
Finally, the Primal Hunter can officially call itself a trashy 1000+ chapters story, joining the ranks of every goddamn xianxia out there.
<AUTHOR NOTE OVER>
Jake was fully on board with the Malefic Viper’s plan to trick Yip of Yore by using Valhal and the fact they wanted him to join their faction. He had proceeded with the intention of exploiting Valhal without forming any genuine relations with the people from the Milky Way. However… it turns out they made that really fucking hard.
The moment Jake, Carmen, and Sylphie arrived at Valhal’s planet, Jake had expected a huge welcome party as they knew he and Carmen were coming. Instead, he was met with only three people, one of them being Sven, the former leader besides Carmen of Valhal on Earth. The two others were a woman who was effectively the foreign minister or something like that, with the final man the World Leader of the planet.
“Welcome to you all, Runemaiden, Lord Thayne, and Lady of the Winds,” the World Leader greeted them, speaking far more eloquently than his muscular form and large tower shield he wore on his back would indicate. This was also Jake’s first time hearing the term Lady of the Winds, but it was apparently some name a few people had started calling Sylphie after Nevermore.
“Good to see you again, Bobby,” Carmen greeted him with a smile, and Jake distinctly saw the man’s eye twitch as he turned to Jake.
“Allow me to introduce myself. I’m Boolbaraspmyson Yalajunkarious, World Leader of this quaint little planet and servant of Valhal, and it’s a pleasure to welcome you here despite the strenuous circumstances of your visit,” he said with a smile.
“A pleasure to meet you,” Jake nodded, trying to hold back commenting on the overly long name as he saw Carmen snicker beside him.
The World Leader just kept smiling as he introduced the woman with him, who looked like the only non-warrior of the group. “This here is Elliandrailsapro-“
“-pretty sure it was meant to be sopro,” the woman commented with a raised eyebrow as she interrupted the guy.
“Hey, don’t blame me! How the hell can you expect me to remember something so stupidly long?” the man shot back as he grinned, shaking his head before looking at Jake. “I’m surprised; you’re a lot more polite than I thought you would be.”
At this point, Jake realized they were just fucking with him, and based on Carmen’s reaction, she had clearly been part of setting this up dumb joke. Sven also cracked a smile, unable to hold himself back, as Jake also smiled and shook his head.
“Believe it or not, I’ve heard worse,” Jake said jokingly.
“Oh yeah, wasn’t there such a character in the Colosseum of Mortals?” Carmen commented. “Pol-something. A really long name.”
“Pollaystrasirial,” Jake corrected her, naturally remembering the mage he’d hung out with alongside Owen while in the Challenge Dungeon.
“You remember that, huh?” Carmen asked with genuine surprise.
“Why wouldn’t I?” Jake shrugged. “Pretty sure the system makes remembering stuff like that easy when prompted.”
“Unless you didn’t really try or want to remember something in the first place,” the World Leader added. “Anyway, let me introduce myself again. I’m Bob Bobbyson, but most people just call me Bobby, probably as a way to purposefully annoy me, as Bob is both shorter and easier to say and remember. Hm, maybe also because my old man was called Bobby, and they just like to make things needlessly confusing...”
“Well, I guess it’s still nice to meet you, Bobby,” Jake smiled, more than happy to continue the tradition of not calling the guy by his actual name.
“Likewise, likewise,” the man said, waving him off. “Carmen here did tell us you were, in her words, “pretty chill,” but I will admit I had my doubts, but I’m definitely not complaining.”
“No reason to be uptight for no reason,” Jake agreed.
“True that. Now, let’s not hold you up at the teleporter and get on with it,” the World Leader said as he motioned for them to follow. “Would be impolite to not show you the place a little.”
“We need to remember the reason why I’m here,” Jake said, turning a bit serious.
“Why the rush getting to the important stuff? I’ve gotten the general gist of things, and don’t worry, the Malefic One’s touch cannot reach this planet,” he said with a high level of confidence. “This world is hallowed ground. The presence of no other gods is allowed, and if they try to forcibly enter, we and the rest of Valhal’s Pantheon will know.”
Jake raised an eyebrow and subtly reached out to the Viper… only to feel as if the connection had been severely weakened. It was still there, but it was akin to going from a gigabit internet connection to a dial-up, and it would take some effort to even make initial contact. Plus, whoever was behind the formation would definitely know.
As for who was behind it? Well, it reminded him of Gudrun’s work, which made sense considering the Blessing of the World Leader in front of him.
[Human – lvl 282 – Greater Blessing of Gudrun]
“I guess rushing isn’t that necessary,” Jake agreed, making it obvious he had confirmed what the man had said.
“Great, because I have an awesome bar to show you. They make some really original stuff, and I’m sure the visit will be a memorable experience,” Bobby smiled as they all followed him.
Sylphie had remained quiet throughout it all, just chilling with Carmen, who happily carried her around. The hawk was just there because it had seemed fun to come along, and it also communicated trust Jake was fine with bringing her in the first place. It was no secret Jake valued her highly, as they had plenty of public displays of affection, proving they were essentially family.
Their little group quickly went out of the teleportation hub placed in the middle of what Jake soon learned was the capital city of the planet. Before the system, this had been a planet inhabited by humans in the later stages of the Middle Ages by Earth standards, though they had some areas where they had been oddly modern technology-wise and with how progressive they were.
The capital city was pretty big and housed around twenty million people, with around half a billion living on the planet before the system, with that number now up to over a billion, fueled by the many humans who had traveled there from elsewhere in the Milky Way.
Looking around the city with his Sphere, Jake noted the relatively spartan design of most buildings, as there definitely was a focus on efficiency over aesthetics when it came to architecture. History-wise, Jake also learned that this planet had been one with two major factions for most of their recorded history, both constantly at war with one another until around fifty years ago where – in a real Romeo and Juliet story – the prince and princess of the two kingdoms fell in love and got married, uniting the two kingdoms and creating the empire.
What followed was the establishment of a new leadership structure, which ended up focusing on placating the many nobles from both kingdoms, who were all still pissed at each other and fought over all the land that had changed hands dozens of times throughout the centuries, resulting in them gaining a whole lot of power. The citizens suffered with the nobles just raking it in, as the new emperor and empress just sat back, happy that the nobles were happy…
Anyway, a big revolution, lots of rolling heads, and a very messy reform primarily led by military leaders later, they ended up with an odd leadership structure that was pretty much just a military dictatorship but with actual upwards mobility. They had odd laws like settling disputes with combat and whatnot, and Jake did think it sounded pretty damn dysfunctional, but they, it had made them into a society that happily embraced the doctrines of Valhal, so it had kind of worked out, right?
Reaching the bar, Jake would also soon learn this odd culture meant something else.
Speaking of the bar… Jake didn’t know if it should be considered normal, but the biggest building in that entire part of the city was the massive bar that reminded Jake more of a warehouse than any kind of bar he’d ever seen. The place was also absolutely packed from top to bottom, with people running about and yelling loudly.
A few people threw glances at Jake and the others, but no one really seemed to care outside of those doing a second take at Sylphie, probably wondering why the hell someone had brought a hawk to the bar. Not that it stood out too much, considering there were several beasts already present, including a large bear that currently seemed to have their head stuck in a barrel.
Bobby saw Jake glance about and began to explain: “It may sound odd, but many view a bar like this as our place of worship. Valhal does not do churches or really any kind of religious buildings, but places like this one do come close. It’s somewhere you go before and after a battle, a place to celebrate a victory and raise a final glass to those who have fallen. It may not be official doctrine, but it’s pretty normal across the multiverse for members of Valhal to use places such as this for important events and everyday worship.”
“Also helps that Valdemar is a brewer himself,” Carmen pointed out with a smile as she took in the atmosphere in strides.
“Definitely doesn’t hurt,” Bobby nodded as he led them inside. A lot of the patrons greeted Bobby, and a few also said hi to Carmen, who had visited the planet before during this entire system event.
Jake admittedly wasn’t a big fan of bars like these but still chose to come along and experience a bit of Valhal’s culture. It did certainly have its charms, and when they found a table near the bar itself and got some drinks, Jake also had to admit they had some good stuff there.
Bobby told Jake more stories about their planet and just discussed Valhal in general. It was self-evident he was trying to make Jake’s view of Valhal even better than before and show that he truly did belong with them and not the Order of the Malefic Viper. Or, considering he seemed to have some gist of why Jake was there on the planet in the first place, he wanted to assure Jake he was more than welcome to become one of them.
Jake genuinely appreciated it, even if it did make things harder, considering he felt like he was lying and screwing them over by acting as if he would join when he never planned to. Still, he chose to enjoy his time, as even if he didn’t join, that didn’t mean he wasn’t their ally and could share a beer, right?
About an hour passed, and after Jake was introduced to a few brands of beer that were a bit too experimental for his taste, something he probably should have expected to happen happened. A particularly brawny guy who definitely had a drink too many walked up to Jake and rudely poked him in the back.
“Hey… hey, you’re that Chosen fella, right? I heard you’re-“
Before he could finish, a fist collided with his face as the otherwise polite and well-spoken World Leader threw a haymaker, putting the guy on the floor. Instantly, the mood of the entire bar changed as a lot of people sobered up quickly and turned their way.
Jake was confused, thinking Bobby’s reaction was a bit over the top, but Carmen just grinned. “Now comes the best part of a bar visit and my favorite memory from my first visit.”
Quickly leaning back, Jake dodged a glass thrown at him as another patron had gotten themselves involved. The guy who threw it had an almost bestial look of excitement as he stared at Jake, many of the others doing the same. Jake was confused for a moment… until he understood.
Valhal. Fighting fanatics. A bar full of warriors… and a newcomer hotshot who everyone praised as powerful. Could they really call themselves warriors of Valhal if they didn’t at least test his claim?
Another glass was thrown Jake’s way, but he quickly caught it and sent it back where it came from before motioning to the guy, now covered in beer, to throw another. Others took the invitation, and Carmen put a hand on Bobby’s shoulder and dragged him back and down into his chair.
“Enjoy the show, Bobby. Oh, and try not to kill anyone, Jake,” Carmen said, leaning back, Bobby doing the same, so easily convinced Jake was certain this entire thing wasn’t actually a surprise to him.
“Ree?” Sylphie asked if he wanted her to make a big tornado.
“Nah, I’m good,” Jake said, enjoying the welcome prepared for him by Valhal as three people charged him at once.
--
Jake emptied the wooden mug before tossing it on the ground. His chair moaned from the movements, but Jake didn’t particularly notice as it was drowned out by all the other pained voices.
The bar was an utter mess, with chairs and tables broken and thrown everywhere, one of the walls was halfway missing, and the floor was covered in blood in most places. In the center of everything was what could only be described as a small mound of people who were beaten up pretty damn badly to the level they could barely move.
On top of this mound sat a shirtless and unharmed Jake, having taken off his cloak and armor as he felt it unfair that so many of his attackers weren’t wearing anything either. Plus, people kept grasping onto his clothes, and they had turned all wet and red from the fighting that it was honestly easier to go without.
Only a single table in the entire bar was untouched as Carmen still sat there with Sylphie, enjoying themselves with the foreign minister lady who hadn’t joined the fight. Sven was now somewhere beneath Jake in the mound of people, with Bobby embedded in the wall not too far away.
“I told you it would be fun,” Carmen spoke loudly as she looked up at Jake with an almost envious look. “I would have joined too, but I get the feeling there wouldn’t have been a building left if I had.”
“Hey, if nothing else, I now understand why they go with simple building designs,” Jake answered with a grin.
Why would one bother making pretty decorations and intricate designs when chances were the building would get broken from a fight within a week or two? Better to make things practical and easier to quickly reconstruct while aiming to make everything as durable as possible. The fact one of the walls had survived Jake throwing Bobby into it with enough force to kill a weaker C-grade was proof of quality construction for sure.
Speaking of Bobby, the guy soon enough got himself off the wall as he fell on the floor. He quickly stood up, one of his legs not able to carry his weight, but he still walked forward as he raised his head and looked at Jake. “How did ya like your welcome party? Quite the celebration, eh?”
As Bobby said, this was Valhal’s way of welcoming him as a warrior. Jake had been impressed by the average quality of fighters in the bar but now knew they had been the cream of the crop Valhal in the Milky Way Galaxy had to offer. They were pretty strong, stronger than most of the elite teams of Earth. It was respectable, but when held up against Jake, there naturally was no comparison, and they all knew it. Yet they allowed him to display his power and feel it on their bodies directly. They allowed him to prove himself a warrior and one of them.
It was all truly a celebration of power and comradery, and Jake felt no animosity from any of the people he’d just beaten to a pulp. Instead, some even seemed as if it was an honor to have been punched in the face by who they believed would soon be a fellow comrade of theirs. Jake felt welcomed for sure… which only made the real reason he was there harder to swallow.
“A celebration indeed,” Jake smiled as he leaped off the mound of warriors and landed in front of Bobby. “I would love to keep enjoying myself… but things can only be delayed for so long.”
Bobby nodded in response as he pulled out a healing potion to quickly get himself back in better shape.
“You’re right,” Bobby said, cracking his neck after the healing energies of the potion allowed him to recover somewhat. “It’s not like we won’t have plenty of time to celebrate victories in the future.”
“Let’s hope we will,” Jake just smiled as the celebration was over, and it was time to get back to work.
Comments
James Hatcher
Thanks for the 1,000!
ShreddedShark
Trashy xianxia my ASS!! Give yourself more credit, man!!
Summer Dixon
Would've loved a small description of the fight so I could play Black Betty while reading it
Azazel
Still.. congratulations!! 1,000 chapters may be considered arbitrary but 1,000 of pure GOLD is an achievement!
Wselby64
Thank you for 1000 chapters zog, I have enjoyed the whole story fair play
