T. A. Star
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40 - Breaking the Wall
🕑 Added 2024-07-13 00:00:02 +0000 UTC
Uriel found himself packing his more permanent belongings for the fourth time in his entire life. The first had been when he had aged out of the Temple of the Parent at sixteen and moved into the little apartment in the International District. Dazien had joined him there a year later and the pair had lived there until moving to the Wayland Estate. The last time had been moving from there to the World Tree, which was quickly being fashioned into a city in its own right.
Now he wasn’t sure where he would be moving to but he knew that he needed to leave. After finally realizing the truth he had long been denying, he knew that not leaving would be giving in to his selfishness. He had clung to things he didn’t deserve, people he was afraid to lose, desires that he desperately wanted but only hurt others by doing so.
Despite the years of arguing with Priest Jacob and Dazien about his own worth, he knew his own happiness wasn’t worth the cost to others. Destroying Dazien and Phoenix’s futures wasn’t a price he was willing to pay just to stay by their sides.
He needed to leave if he truly cared about them.
“Where is Little Storm going?” a strange monotone voice spoke within his mind, and he turned to see Orebela hovering in the doorway.
He could have sworn that was shut and locked a moment ago since he didn’t want anyone trying to stop him or ask pointed questions like Paul’s Familiar was now doing. He gave a huff of annoyance and asked, “Shouldn’t you be guarding Daze’s Noble Reveal? There’s a lot of very important people there.”
“Paladin Fairweather and the Rebel Fox are both nearby watching. The Shiny Garnet is also attending as a Royal Knight. Why is Little Storm packing?” the hovering woman prodded.
“Because I’m leaving,” he replied, going over to the picture on the mantle. The only picture of him and Dazien as teens they had.
“Leaving to go where?”
“I don’t know,” he muttered, picking up the picture. Maybe he could be a little selfish still and take it with him. A memory to cling to instead of the person.
The Familiar gave an odd vibrating sound that he thought might be a hum before saying, “Is Little Storm going to say goodbye to everyone?”
“No,” he stated firmly, slipping the picture into his large backpack. It was an older one that didn’t have a dimensional space within it, but he didn’t have much to pack anyway.
“Will Little Storm at least say goodbye to Wayland? He is waiting downstairs.”
“He can’t hear anything I say,” he retorted, then paused, “I guess that’s the silver lining to being in a stasis like that. Once Phoenix hits Ruby in a decade or so, it’ll feel like waking up the next morning like nothing had been missed.”
“Wayland will miss Little Storm.”
Uriel scoffed, “Yeah, right. Pretty sure the last time we talked, he wanted to toss me off the roof.”
“Wayland deserved your anger. This One agreed with Little Storm.”
He paused again to turn to her with a raised brow, “You did?”
The smooth golden head nodded in response as she floated closer to him.
He glanced back around his partner’s room. It would be like he had never been there. Nothing of him remained. They could all move forward without him holding them back. He would be nothing more than a memory.
“They’ll be safer without me. Better off in the future,” he explained before adding hesitantly, “Will you tell Paul that I’m sorry… sorry for breaking my word and hurting her.”
“Little Storm has not hurt Little Miss yet. You do not need to do this,” Orebela said in that soft monotone. Even though it lacked inflection, he could tell she was morose about this turn of events.
“If I don’t leave now… it’s just going to be harder later.”
“Courage is not about the easy thing; it’s about doing the right thing, especially when it’s hard.”
“Then I guess I’m a coward when it comes to telling Phoenix about me,” he replied as he looked into the smooth, blank face that reflected the flames in the hearth beside them. Then he added, “But leaving them… that’s one of the hardest choices I’ve ever made, so this is courageous, isn’t it?”
“This One does not believe that. The hardest thing is to stand and fight. Little Storm is running away from the harder choice.”
Uriel gave a sad chuckle, “Guess I’m back to being an all-around coward then.”
“This One does not believe that either. Little Storm stood against Wayland for her. That was hard and took much courage. Why is Little Storm running now? Why is Little Storm afraid of fighting for Little Miss?”
“Because she… she’s,” he searched for the words. To explain why Phoenix meant so much to him already and why he was afraid of that worst outcome he had dreamed up with Jacob yesterday.
He finally admitted, “She was the first person who wasn’t a mind mender to look at me wearing these chains and not be disgusted or afraid. Who never refused to meet my eyes or listen to my words. Never pushed me to be something else. She’s always treated me like a… like a person instead of a monster.”
“Little King–”
“We weren’t friends right away. I’m sure you remember how I was back then… I didn’t trust anyone when I arrived at the Temple of the Parent. The kids were afraid, and Daze didn’t approve of the Silencer at first. He didn’t understand why I wore it.”
He gave a sad smile at the memories, “Phoenix never cared. Never pushed or judged… Even absorbed a Cataclysm Spirit Gem to try and reassure me that she didn’t care about my Class. As soon as I tell her everything, though… she’ll know exactly why I’m a monster.”
Uriel closed his pack and lifted it over his shoulder, “I’d rather leave than see her look at me like that.”
As he turned to head towards the door, his heart sank, and it felt like all the heat in his molten veins had gone cold when he saw Phoenix arrive in the doorway. She looked stunning in that elegant dress and sparkling jewelry, red curls flowing down her back, truly like a princess. The only oddity was the black fur neck warmer he recognized as a sleeping Bliss.
“Uriel?” she said curiously, then noted his traveler’s appearance, and confusion took over her features as she asked, “What’s going on?”
He felt frozen in that moment. Unsure of which worst scenario he wanted to watch unfold in the next few minutes. Give a blatant lie and try to sneak away later or try to explain that he had to leave without revealing exactly why. Uriel almost wished a god would show up now, but he had always had the worst luck.
Phoenix felt frozen in the doorway, uncertain of what exactly she was looking at. Uriel stood halfway between Orebela near the hearth and her at the door. He should have been sitting in a chair reading like he had said… not dressed like he was going on a mission.
“What’s going on?” she asked, almost afraid of the answer.
The silence stretched for much too long as they stared at one another until Uriel finally looked away and muttered, “I need to go.”
“Go where?”
“...Away.”
Her heart felt like it was lodged in her throat as she tried to force the next word out, “Why?”
Uriel still refused to meet her eyes as he said bitterly, “Because it’s the right thing to do.”
“There’s nothing right about that,” she managed to say, feeling a flicker of anger at the idea, “What about Dazien? Does he know?”
He shook his head, “No. He’d try to stop me.”
“Well, that’s exactly what I’m going to try too.”
Uriel finally looked at her again and his face was confusing as he practically begged, “Please don’t. Just go back to the party and pretend this never happened. Go back to Daze’s side and forget about me.”
“That’s impossible,” she stated, “I could never forget. I can’t pretend like my best friend didn’t just… just leave for no good reason.”
“I have reasons.”
“What possible reason could justify abandoning us?” she asked angrily, feeling tears prick at her eyes and she tried her hardest not to let them fall.
Uriel looked towards the floor, his face twisting in disgust as he said, “Secret ones.”
It felt like a punch to the gut.
A wall firmly wedged between them. The wall of secrets that she couldn’t tear down without breaking what little trust she had managed to gain so far. She hadn’t pushed to know them, hoping that she could prove worthy to learn them eventually. Now, they were the thing dividing them. She had utterly failed to gain his trust, and he wouldn’t give her any more time to try.
“Secrets you don’t want me to ever know,” she clarified.
“This isn’t something I wanted,” he retorted, then said in a softer tone, “I just… I don’t want you to hate me.”
That confused her even more. How could he believe that anything he said would make her think that? How many times had she called him her friend? How far did she have to go to prove she didn’t care about whatever secret he had?
He had told her before that he had killed people, but so had she. She wasn’t sure what could be worse than that. Uriel had been a victim in the past, captured by bandits as a child and sold to a cult that forced his Aspects on him, but that wasn’t any fault of his own. “Why do you think I could possibly hate you? You’re like… the bestest friend I have.”
Uriel scowled, “You only say that ‘cause you don’t know–”
“Is this for not sharing my secrets sooner?” she asked, trying to figure out when she had messed up, “Am I being punished for not trusting you enough?”
“No, of course not,” he said, suddenly seeming concerned as he dropped the backpack hanging off his shoulder and moved closer to her. “It’s nothing you did or didn’t do, Phoenix. It’s just better if I leave, whether you know my secrets or not. The fact is those secrets are a threat to you, and leaving is the best way to keep you safe.”
She felt the tears falling then. He wasn’t giving her any way to fix this. “Please tell me this is just another nightmare,” she said, her voice breaking as she held back a sob, “Please.”
“Princess…” his warm hand touched her cheek to wipe the traitorous tear away.
“You promised me,” she pleaded. She couldn’t lose another friend. She wouldn’t let him suffer alone to keep them safe. “You promised we would keep each other from breaking!”
A glowing molten tear ran down his own cheek at that, “I’m sorry. I never wanted to hurt you. It looks like I failed that, and you’ll end up hurting either way now.”
She hugged him, hoping that if she held on tight enough then he wouldn’t vanish as she asked, “What could possibly be worse than breaking us like this? Without even explaining why?”
Phoenix could feel him shaking as his own arms wrapped around her. She hoped her feelings could get through to him. Get past the wall that had formed. She knew that he was the only one who could break that wall of secrets –just like she had done before with her own– but she had to make it clear that was what she wanted too.
“If I’m going to get hurt either way, I’d rather you trust me enough to share the weight of your secrets. Rather than try to protect me like I’m a child that you can’t depend on,” she managed to say.
“I–” he fell silent for a few agonizing seconds before whispering, “I’m like you…”
That was confusing. She knew they were alike in a lot of ways, but why would that be dangerous? It looked like he was trying to open up, though, so she asked lightly, “You’re also an Immortal Wayfarer that has a habit of exploding things?”
He gave a huff of a laugh, “No, I–” he took a deeper, ragged breath and pulled away from her.
Then Uriel began lifting up the sleeve around his left arm, revealing the golden bracer around it. It had a series of runes engraved on the inside, and he pressed them in a specific combination to cause a small click as it released while he said softly, “I was chosen… by a god. Just like you.”
“You–” her breath caught at the information as she stared up at him with wide eyes, “You’re Chosen?” The bracer fell away to reveal a rainbow sigil tattooed on his inner forearm as she clarified, “You have a Soul Mark like me?”
“Yes, but yours is a blessing while mine is a curse,” he replied, and she could understand why he might think that when the power of the mark informed her of exactly who it belonged to.
She didn’t need the confirming words he spoke next, “I was chosen by the Destroyer.”
Comments
Siddharth Patel
Nooooooo!!!!! NEXT CHAPTER! I NEED THE NEXT CHAPTER!!! THIS IS TORTURE!! I finally get the talk and it ends!!!!! I hope both sides of your pillow is warm lol. What a cliff. Loved it though. Can't WAIT for the next one! Tftc
