BellaPlays
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Feeling weird
🕑 Added 2022-04-26 23:13:57 +0000 UTCHi, today I'm here to talk about my ~feelings~.
I've been feeling so undeserving of everything lately, like I'm not good enough to have such a nice stream, make money out of it etc.
It's one of the feelings I hate the most. It makes me want to stop doing what I love for a while just so maybe people will realize how shitty my streams are and will stop watching.
But every time I've done this I regretted. I never wanted to go a day without streaming. It was always torture to me.
I really feel like I get waaaay more than what I deserve. Everyone is so nice and kind to me, what did I do to deserve all of this?
Do I really deserve going to Portugal? Or having nice friends like you all?
I try convincing myself that I do deserve it, I stream since 2014, try to include you guys in my life and make everyone feel like they have a friend to talk to, but I dont know...
I'm thankful for you all. Thank you for cheering me up, talking to me, giving me gifts and helping me with my goals.
I'm really in need of a psychiatrist appointment, but my next one is only on the 20th of May.
I'll keep on streaming, always, I just thought I'd share with you guys how I've been feeling lately. I know it'll pass like all my other negative feelings do, but that's not a reason to not share it.
