Neviara
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Cycle 29-16: Cheap Date
🕑 Added 2024-01-19 17:00:09 +0000 UTCThe gazebo was an ornate wooden structure set back from the crowds and the music of the plaza. Of its eight sides, seven boasted lights hanging down from its eaves like star-studded curtains, while the eighth stood open with stairs leading invitingly up.
Kaitlyn shivered slightly as they sat on the bench, setting down their haul. Away from all the people and vendors, the wind once more reminded her of its chilly existence. To combat it, she picked up a nice slice of fresh apple pie.
"Wanna try?" She offered the plate to Philip.
"...I'll have a few bites."
Passing him a fork, they each took a bite. The flavors of warm spices and caramel danced on her tongue as Kaitlyn sighed in contentment. Looking over, she saw Philip chewing slowly.
"Well? How is it?"
He thought for a moment. "...It's quite good. Though I will admit to being less than discerning when it comes to matters of food and its taste."
"Oh, come on. You work at Chella's!" She waved her fork emphatically. "How can you not appreciate good food?"
"This is true," Philip admitted. "However, my tolerance for subpar food is quite high, while my appreciation for 'quality' food can be quite low. I view it as more of a daily necessity rather than an art form. For that reason, I expect that I do not appreciate the subtleties and flavors of Scarra's cooking as you do."
Right. I guess that makes sense. She frowned at the thought. The idea of food being nothing more than fuel seemed reasonable in his case, but still. Food was awesome. Surely there had to be something out there that could make him fall in love with it. Though if Scarra's food didn't cut it, then fat chance hers would. Much less fair food.
"Well, that's ok." She eventually shrugged. "But if you do find something you really like, let me know, ok? You can take more of it, or I can just grab another plate."
Philip nodded. "Duly noted."
They sat there in silence for a while longer, enjoying the various desserts they'd collected. Kaitlyn watched the faraway crowds milling about, listening to the distant echoes of Christmas carols and laughter.
This feels… nice. It kind of reminds me of last time.
She closed her eyes for a moment. The sounds washed over her, lights twinkling behind her eyelids. She could almost pretend this was the HeartBeats festival all over again, that she was sitting there and eating funnel cake with Alex.
But I'm not. I'm here. And I'm… happy.
To her surprise, she really meant it. There was no pang of longing for those times, no loneliness when she thought of Alex. She truly wanted to be here, in this moment. With Philip.
I guess… I finally did move on. Her expression grew wistful. I don't know how to feel about that. Glad, I suppose.
"Kaitlyn."
Philip's voice pulled her back to the present. Shaking those thoughts off, she glanced over. "Yeah?"
"Do you recall what I said before? About dating?"
She very nearly dropped her fork. Oh shoot. It's happening, isn't it. Is this… is this his confession?
Scrambling to hide her panic, Kaitlyn cleared her throat. "Er, yeah. You said… you said you weren't interested in it."
It's still possible that I entirely misread this whole situation. That he's about to friendzone me. But…
Philip nodded. "I did. Specifically, I said that dating was a needless addition to my other responsibilities, as well as a financial strain that I could not afford out of consideration for my family."
Kaitlyn bit her lip and eyed the desserts around. Shoot. Maybe I shouldn't have spent so much money on dessert. Of course what was a bad idea, idiot. What am I trying to do, rub it in?
"...My perception of relationships largely stems from my parents, I suppose." Philip continued, folding his hands in his lap. His eyes lingered on a knot of wood on the gazebo floor. "My mother was a dead weight and a leech, after all. She served to do nothing but take from us until we left. That, in addition to my general dissatisfaction with the work ethic of those around me, served to mold my views on dating as a method to weigh oneself down. To burden myself with additional troubles for fleeting and insignificant gratifications that I did not care about, or for someone else to place their own troubles on my back. For the weak and lazy to leech upon those willing to do the work."
Kaitlyn fell silent, quietly setting her plate to the side as Philip spoke. The picture he painted was… bleak, to say the least. Yet given what she'd heard of the guy's life, it only made sense.
"However…" He continued, his face remaining impassive. "...I believe that I may have been wrong. I believe that I may have dismissed out of hand something that can be beneficial to both parties, simply because I was presented with a poor example."
His gaze finally rose, meeting Kaitlyn's own. The white and amber lights of the gazebo seemed to light his eyes from within and reflect off his raven hair like fireflies. "At first, I believed that I was benefiting from your presence unfairly. My utilization of your school resources, for example, was a prime example of that."
"That's not true," Kaitlyn objected. "I told you, it's not–"
Philip bowed his head in acknowledgement "It is not taking advantage of you. I understand. However, that was not my initial impression. I truly did believe that I was becoming a leech. Just like my mother."
Kaitlyn's blood ran cold. Is that why he was so against it? Both the class website stuff and the job fair? That's… wow, I feel kinda awful now.
There was no way she could have known, but still. It really had just seemed like another case of Philip being principled. She hadn't exactly expected what those principles were rooted in, though.
Seeing her expression fall, Philip shook his head. "I speak in the past tense because I no longer hold that opinion. Not that I believe I am entitled to those resources, either. However, I have come to the conclusion that I have, in fact, been able to benefit you as well."
"Obviously." Kaitlyn crossed her arms. "The fact that you didn't believe that at the start still blows my mind. The Algorithms help alone is way more than anything I've ever done for you, not to mention the rides home and the group projects and…"
…And everything else you don't remember.
Looking back on it, he really had done a lot. Not just in tutoring, either. Philip's own work ethic had spurred her to work harder, to try her best and then some. Seeing the amount the guy did reminded her of how much more she could be, of how much more she could do if she just truly applied herself. Of what it really meant to be a hard worker. And to do it all without complaint, no less.
Philip shook his head again. "Even if I don't necessarily agree with your conclusions on the relative weight of each act, I do agree with the sentiment. I am not leeching off of you, nor are you leeching off of me. We are… cooperating mutually."
Kaitlyn chuckled nervously. "You make it sound like a business deal."
"Apologies. I do not intend for it to sound so formal." He shook his head.
"It's ok," She reassured him. "I know it's how you talk. It's just… funny, is all."
Philip's eyes skirted to the side. "I have often heard that my manner of speaking is overly formal. I try to be precise with my words, though it often has the secondary effect of placing distance between myself and others. I have not minded it until now."
At that, they both fell silent again. The remaining desserts sat uneaten to either side of the bench, a few plates of cookies and pie still laying untouched. Kaitlyn wasn't even tempted to reach for them. Her stomach twisted with nervous uncertainty.
I could be wrong. What if I am wrong? What if… what if this is all one-sided?
Kaitlyn's heart clenched. After all this, after all they'd been through, after seeing Philip transform before her eyes like this… she wasn't sure if she could bear seeing him go back to how he was before.
Please. Please let him move forward, too.
"So…" Kaitlyn took a deep breath, bracing herself. Then, she made the leap. "What does all of this have to do with dating?"
Philip remained quiet for a long moment, his gaze distant. She watched him, trying desperately not to bounce her knee or bite her lip nervously.
"...I would like to propose that we date."
There it was. It was laid out so simply and clearly, the wording as formal as though Philip were suggesting that they start a company together. Yet one look in his eyes revealed that wasn't the case.
He looks just as nervous as I am. Like he really does care about what I'll say.
The idea that Philip could be nervous about anything felt odd to Kaitlyn. Philip, the immovable and unshakable tutor who excelled at everything he attempted. Philip, the impassive and icy prince of the male leads. It made him seem… vulnerable. More so than she'd ever seen.
"I…" Kaitlyn felt her cheeks flush. She realized that she'd been quiet for too long. "I think I would like that, too."
Philip's shoulders relaxed just the slightest amount. His expression warmed as he gave her a real, genuine smile.
"I am glad to hear that."
Another cold wind blew through the gazebo, sending Kaitlyn into a huddled ball. Dangit. Why does it have to be so cold! It's ruining the moment!
"Here."
Glancing up, Kaitlyn saw that Philip had set aside the plates sitting between them. His arm extended out, inviting her to scoot closer.
"You seem to be shivering."
With a moment of hesitation, Kaitlyn shifted across the bench toward Philip. She stopped when she was right next to him, unsure of how close he'd intended her to come, when his arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her a little closer.
"Better?" He asked, looking down at her.
"...Yeah." After a moment of tense hesitation, she allowed herself to relax and huddle against him. Despite his cold exterior, Philip felt surprisingly warm. Warm and comforting. Like she would be safe here.
He placed his hand on hers, not seeming to mind her icicle-like grip. "Thank you, Kaitlyn."
She chuckled into his jacket. "For what? For saying yes? That's a kind of weird thing to thank me for."
"Not for that," Philip shook his head. "For everything else. For helping me to realize the importance of my relationships with others." He squeezed her hand gently. "Both family and otherwise."
"I didn't do anything." She elbowed him gently. "You're the one who actually took time off for Serena."
"True. However, I would not have seen the need without your prodding." He looked at the ceiling. "I… respect you. Not just your work ethic, but your opinions as well. I know that there are many things that I can improve on. And I hope that you will bear with me and provide assistance when I inevitably require it. Just as I will provide the same to you." He paused. "I believe that… we can grow better together."
Together.
Kaitlyn blinked, only to feel a sudden wetness on her cheeks. She touched them with her free hand.
I'm… crying?
"Kaitlyn?" Philip's face filled with concern.
"Ah, sorry." She straightened and wiped the tears away with her sleeve, sniffling."I-I just… Sorry. I don't know what came over me."
It was a bit of a lie. She had a fairly good idea of what had come over her.
I want to believe him. I want to be able to grow alongside him. I really do. But… I can't. Not anymore.
Philip cupped her cheek in a gentle gesture. "If there is a problem, you can tell me. I will help bear your burdens, as you help to bear mine. That's our agreement. I do not intend to disappear on you."
She choked out a sobbing laugh at the irony.
In that moment, she wanted nothing more than to believe him. It would be so easy to break down, to cling to him and actually tell him. About the timeloop, about the endings, about how he wouldn't even remember her tomorrow. To explain everything, just to have a shoulder to cry on. She wanted to truly believe that Philip would be there for her, now and going forward.
But I don't get to do that.
So before Philip's heart-wrenching gaze overwhelmed her, she leaned forward and kissed him.
Goodbye, Philip. Goodbye, Serena. I'll make sure to remember this. For all of us.
***
Cycle 29 Complete!
New Ending Unlocked!
Ending: Family Matters
Total Endings Unlocked: 8
Writing – A (100%)
Calculus – A (100%)
Statistics – A (100%)
Chemistry – A (100%)
Genetics – A (100%)
Algorithms – B (87%)
/// ...One more down, three to go :')
Comments
Mio P
Thanks for the chapter! Nearly teared up myself ngl… I’m so sad that this is the end of Philip, I wanted moooreee. But I’m happy Kate moved on at least, oh and we’ll be getting a new love interest soon..l anyone but Ian hopefully 🤞
Scyfe
This was so sweet and so sad
