AlwaysRats
patreon
Roskva
🕑 Added 2019-11-05 23:29:33 +0000 UTCJáhko's mum.
I've really, really struggled with anxiety recently and I haven't really got an outlet to talk about it and I fear putting people off if I was to bring it up. I've struggled terribly to continue Tistow alongside time commitments to the big-project, I just don't know what to do. I have great support from friends and family, but in the end it does fall down on me to make things work.
Something I've never mentioned in public before, and this links strongly to stuff that's been going on in the last year and a half with all the health stuff, is that my partner and I have been looking at doing IVF. It adds on top of my anxiety and stress massively and I've found it easier to just not share anything, including art, with the risk of looking like I'm not up to much or interested in anything.
And it sucks. It makes me feel really broken. I don't want to let anyone down but at the same time I feel like I've struggled to cope with constant disappointments. Not just the aforementioned thing but for example, either not hearing back from publishers that I've applied for or being turned down. I've given up on trying to get Tistow into one. Being turned down takes a hell of a lot out of me. I think I'll be happier just occasionally bringing out a book if I have the opportunity to. Sharing it on the website is enough for me.
I'm working slowly and I haven't had the confidence to share much. Thank you everyone who have stuck around. It means an awful lot to me.
Comments
Kris Lovic
Wishing you all the best! Take your time. Your stuff is lovely but you aren't forgotten when also taking rests between. Thanks for being so open.
The author and the "one beneath" are inextricably mixed into a whole person, who has the right to feel under the weather, anxious, or, why not, unwilling to art. In Patreon, we support the art, but we also respect the person. Thanks for sharing and just deal with this in the manner in which you feel, as a person, you have to deal with it (including not dealing, which is also very human).
Lovely drawing. Thanks for an update on the status of things. Sounds like you have a lot to deal with. It's understandable you'd feel anxious etc all things considered. Good luck with everything. :)
