Neviara
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Cycle 34-17: Have Your Cake
🕑 Added 2024-07-05 16:00:17 +0000 UTC"Hey Ian—!"
Kaitlyn emerged from the dorm stairwell, pushing the door open with a solid clunk. Ian sat in his usual spot at the side common room's table, his laptop open before him. But for once, he wasn't alone. Three other students sat scattered around the room, each with their noses deep into textbooks, notebooks, and laptops of their own.
At her cheery call, every single person lifted their heads to look. The sudden attention was enough to make Kaitlyn blush.
Whoops.
She mouthed a quiet apology to the room before meekly sliding into the seat beside Ian. He shot her a bright smile as she did, whispering a greeting. "Hi, Kay. What's up?"
"Just wanted to wish you a…" she hesitated, looking around the room before continuing. "A happy launch day."
He shook his head slightly at her momentary pause. "It's ok. Not like there's much to hide anymore, right? Want to see the numbers?"
She nodded. Scooting a bit closer, she craned her neck to see the screen. After the game's showing at Bara Bash, Kaitlyn had finally convinced the guy to put it up for sale—as an early access release, of course. Evidently, seeing so many positive responses had been the push he needed to actually take that final leap.
Her eyebrows rose. Dang. And what a leap it is.
"Ian… this is amazing." Her hushed voice was filled with wonder.
"It is, isn't it?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Seriously. People are actually buying it. Even though it's not finished. They're still…"
Of course they are. Even if it's not finished, it's still an awesome game. Heck, I've played "finished" games that are way shorter and worse than Grail. Even if he might not believe that.
Kaitlyn grinned and elbowed him playfully in the side. "I won't say I told you so. But I really think you're the only one surprised by this."
"That still sounds a lot like 'I told you so.'"
She shrugged. "Eh. Let me celebrate a bit."
A quiet cough drew her attention away from the screen. One of the studying students was shooting them a rather pointed look. Evidently, her appearance had upset the quiet study environment of the room.
That's fine. I don't really want to talk around all these people, anyway.
Abruptly, she stood. "C'mon. We've gotta celebrate. I've got some cheesecake in my room, if you want to try it out? I've been experimenting with some of those no-bake recipes…"
"Oh! Sure." Ian shut his laptop and stood to follow. "I'd love that. What flavor?"
"I've got a plain one with fresh berries that's pretty good. There's also a cookies and cream one, but I dunno if it technically even counts as a cheesecake anymore… I think it needs some more tweaking, either way."
"I'd definitely like to try the second one. I mean, the first one, too, but only if you have extra—"
She waved his concern off. "I've got plenty. Until Heather gets home, that is. Then she'll gladly take whatever's left. So really, you'd be doing her stomach a favor."
Ian chuckled. "Alright. I guess I can't say no, then."
***
Once Kaitlyn dug a few slices of dessert out of the fridge, the pair decided to remain in the room to enjoy them. Most of the other common areas had filled up with students cramming for next week's finals, and neither of them had any real desire to get in the way of that. So Kaitlyn sat cross legged on her bed, while Ian took the chair at her desk.
They enjoyed the treats in companionable silence for a few minutes. It was clear from Ian's enthusiasm that he did, in fact, enjoy the cheesecake. So much so that she wondered whether she should give him even more of the leftovers to keep.
Heather wouldn't have to know. I could keep a few slices for her, but she's gotten so much of my food over the loops… Surely she'll be able to handle losing out this once? Besides, there's not that much time left, anyway…
A pang of sadness thrummed in her chest. The final week of the loop was fast approaching. Finals would start on Monday, and then? By this time next weekend, things would be over.
She took a bite of cheesecake. The looming deadline should've made her nervous, but it didn't. For once, she felt pretty darn secure in her choices up to this point. Now, it was a matter of enjoying things while they lasted.
Maybe I'm being a bit too confident, but… things feel different this time. Kaitlyn glanced over at Ian. His gaze was distant as he ate, blue eyes staring intently across the room. It could just be me, but I really doubt it. He seems happier this time.
"What're you thinking about?"
Ian blinked, looking over. "Ah! Sorry. Just… I was thinking about finals, actually."
Her eyebrows rose in surprise. "Really?"
"Well, kind of. Mostly I was thinking how weird it is. Everyone's out there studying and stressing, but me?" He shook his head. "I'm sitting here, celebrating Grail's launch and eating cake. Isn't that crazy? It's like… how did we even get here?"
Kaitlyn nodded. She could understand where the guy was coming from. For a college student, there was no time more stressful than finals. The idea that he could be so completely unaffected by exam season…
"...Does it bother you?" She asked.
He pressed his lips together. "Honestly? It… doesn't. Not really. I know it should," he added quickly, one hand darting up to scratch his neck, "And I know how crazy that sounds. But if anything, knowing that it doesn't bother me bothers me even more? Does that make sense?"
"Kind of?" She admitted. "But also, why should it? Midterms didn't bug you, right?"
"Yeah, but this feels more… final?"
At her snort, he rolled his eyes and continued. "No pun intended. I mean it, though. Failing midterms is one thing. That's something people come back from. But finals? This is make-or-break time. This is… If I want good grades, I have to get them now. Even though all the school stuff feels so… pointless."
He took another bite of cheesecake as Kaitlyn mulled over his words. It sounded like he was having second thoughts, but that didn't seem entirely right. Between the last sentence and his expression, it really seemed like Ian was just thinking out loud more than anything. Still, she had to be sure.
"Do you… regret choosing Grail over classes?" She chose her words carefully. "If you do…"
He shook his head vigorously. "No. I am happy. Really happy. I feel like I'm actually doing something worthwhile. Even if this is as big as Grail ever gets, I'll be completely satisfied. I don't regret a single thing. At the same time…" Ian sighed. "I'm not looking forward to going home for Christmas. My parents are probably gonna blow a gasket."
His expression fell, finally darkening at the mention of his family. Kaitlyn's ears perked up with interest despite herself. "You think so?"
Ian nodded sullenly. "Yeah. My dad, especially. He's a software engineer, you know."
"Really? Is he why you got into programming?"
Ian nodded. "Yeah. I wanted to do what he did, and he was totally behind it. At least, when it was little things like browser games and all that. But when it started taking over my school stuff? Well… that didn't really go over as well." He let out a long sigh. "That last year of high school was…pretty rough. I wonder if he regrets getting me interested in software stuff?"
Kaitlyn winced in sympathy. Yikes. I can imagine. If he was this obsessed in high school, then it's a wonder that he even graduated. Although… maybe his parents kept him on track.
She bit her lip as the pieces clicked into place. That imagined situation seemed to share some uncomfortable parallels with her own efforts in the Road to Hell ending.
I really thought I was doing the right thing. I thought that it would be a good path for him, a more stable and secure future. That's probably what they thought, too. But seems like we all might have been wrong.
Coming back to the present, Kaitlyn realized that Ian was still staring blankly at his last bite of cheesecake like it held the answers to the universe. Leaning over, she poked him in the ribs. "Hey. It'll be ok."
He glanced up, his ocean-blue eyes meeting her own with a slight smile. "Thanks, Kay. I hope so."
"Just remember. If he does get on your case about it, you can always point to the sales numbers." At Ian's chuckle, she pressed further. "I'm serious. You've actually made money, actual money, off of Grail now. That means it's not just some dead-end hobby. This is real, Ian."
He opened his mouth, then closed it again. "I… I know. In my head, I know that. It's just hard to really believe, you know? And what if it doesn't last? I'm sure they'll be worried about this being a one-off thing…"
She just shrugged. "If it is, it is. You've got enough experience and skill that you should have no problem finding a job somewhere else if it falls through. But I don't think it will."
Ian's gaze fell to stare at his plate once again. He lifted the final bite of cheesecake up to his mouth, the taste eliciting a small smile despite his mood. Kaitlyn noticed and stood up. "Want another slice? I've got plenty more."
"Ah. Sure, if it's not a problem. I don't want to take all of it."
She just shook her head and crossed to the fridge. "Trust me, I've got more than I know what to do with."
They both fell silent as she rummaged about in the fridge, digging out another serving of the cookies and cream cheesecake. It had looked like his favorite of the two, considering how quickly he had demolished it.
Good to know. I really thought it was a bit too sweet, but maybe I'm overcorrecting for my own tastes. There's a reason why desserts like that are popular after all.
Not that she'd let that stop her. Sure, she might be a bit more discerning than the average college student, but that was no reason to sacrifice quality. If anything, she took it as a challenge.
"Hey, Kay?"
"Mmm?" Ian's voice interrupted her idle thoughts.
"Can I ask you something?"
"Sure. What's up?"
She handed him the slice and paused where she stood. Instead of meeting her eyes, he was staring at the ground, visibly working himself up to ask… something. And she had a feeling she knew what.
Kaitlyn braced herself, visibly tensing at Ian's discomfort. It's ok. It'll be ok. I expected this. Even if… even if I wanted just a little bit longer…
Suddenly, he blurted the words out. "Would you… What would you… would you think I was a loser if I dropped out?"
She blinked in surprise. "What?"
"If I dropped out of school. To work on Grail, I mean." He fidgeted nervously in his chair. "I-I know it sounds dumb. It's way too early to tell if this will actually go anywhere, not to mention it's super risky, but…"
She let out a long sigh, relaxing as the words registered in her brain. With a small smile, she shook her head. "No. Of course not."
Ian's head jerked up in surprise. "Wha— really?"
"Obviously," she laughed. "What did you think I was going to say? 'Actually, I think you should fail all your classes until you get kicked out?'" An expression of amused disbelief lit up her face. "We just talked about how you think finals seem pointless. This is just the next step, right?"
After a moment, Ian recovered himself enough to argue back. "Yeah, but… I mean, now that the early access is out, maybe I can focus more on classes again. You know, bring things back next semester. Between making updates and everything, I mean…"
Settling back onto the bed, Kaitlyn fixed her friend with a level look. "Really? Do you really think you're going to?" He opened his mouth to reply, but she held up a hand. "Wait, no, don't answer that. I know you probably could. But is it even worth your time?"
"What do you mean?"
"Here's the way I see it. Most people go to college to learn stuff and get a job, right?" She ticked the items off on her fingers. "You've already taught yourself way more programming than you're going to learn in a few years here, and that's not even counting the game design stuff. You also already have a game that's now making you money, and we talked about how you could totally get a job somewhere else if you needed to. So… why would you stay?"
Ian gaped at her silently, seemingly stunned by the turn of events. In truth, him dropping out was something she'd thought about plenty of times before. It was just hard for Kaitlyn to see the point of him staying at Hartland.
But suggesting that myself would DEFINITELY be going way too far, she reasoned. No way I'd push him to do something like that. Even if it seems obvious.
Still, the fact that he'd come to the idea on his own was a good sign. It meant they were much more on the same page this time around.
"If you really want to keep your options open, you can see about taking a leave of absence or something," she suggested. "But… it's really up to you."
With a long exhale, Ian let his chin fall to his chest. "I… I didn't really expect you to agree like that."
"Yeah? Why not?"
"Because you're such a good student!" He looked up at her, gesturing emphatically. "Wouldn't you be arguing for college? And plus, you manage to get such good grades while also doing half a dozen other things on the side. So me trying to drop out and just do this is just—"
She was already shaking her head. "That's a totally different situation. First off, I'm not a good student. I just know the material really well already. I barely go to class or study, and that's not really a good thing. So don't pretend that me having good grades means I'm a good student."
Not to mention that dropping out isn't an option for me—not really. A bitter taste welled up in her throat. Trust me, Ian. If I could get out of here, I would in a heartbeat.
"Second," she continued, pushing the moment of dread down, "I'm doing a bunch of stuff because it helps me. I enjoy throwing myself into every hobby I can get my hands on. But you're different. You obviously enjoy game design more than anything. You have a passion for it."
"And Bash Bros," he pointed out.
"And Bash Bros, though even that isn't as important to you. But either way, the point stands. Why would you waste time doing anything else?" She crossed her arms firmly. "You can always take a year off to really focus on Grail, finish it, and see how it goes. If it flops, you can always decide to come back, even if I don't think you need to. But if this goes well, then… well, wouldn't you have already done what you came to college for?"
Ian fell silent, staring once more at the ceiling as he mulled her words over.
Maybe I came on a little strong, but honestly? He kind of deserves it. I'm just telling the truth. As someone who's gone through some of the programming classes here, I'm pretty darn confident in saying he doesn't need them. And besides… I want him to be happy.
She took another hard look at the chestnut-haired boy. Even now, he sat straighter than he ever did before, the ever-present meekness all but gone from his bearing. His uncertain expression appeared thoughtful rather than fearful as it might have.
Even if the game design thing is risky… I think it's a risk he should take. She smiled. One that comes with all sorts of challenges, but still. It would be an adventure.
Eventually, Ian finished his contemplations and sighed. "Ok."
"Ok?" Her eyebrows rose. "Does that mean…?"
"…There's a lot to think about," Ian admitted. "Housing, my parents, fallbacks… I've got a decent amount of savings, so that will help, I guess. But if you're on board…"
She started shaking her head. "Woah, woah, woah. This is your decision. You shouldn't be basing it on whether or not I think it's a good idea. Why do you even care what I think, anyway?"
"Well…" Ian bit his lip. "Because… I like you, Kay."
Comments
Geoff Urland
Way to go, Ian!
