Neviara
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Cycle 34-18: Casual Date
🕑 Added 2024-07-08 16:00:06 +0000 UTCThe words seemed to echo through the quiet dorm room, leaving a thick curtain of silence in their wake. Ian was once again staring at the ground, a detail Kaitlyn was incredibly thankful for. It meant that he didn't see the sudden flurry of emotions that flashed across her face.
So… It's that time again, huh?
A wave of bitter melancholy threatened to rise up and drown her. She'd thought that she'd sidestepped the confession, at least for today. That she had a little longer to simply spend time with Ian. However, it seemed that wasn't quite the case. Despite all her efforts to steel herself for this moment, knowing what would happen next still rocked her.
No… I can't let myself get down. Not yet. There's… there's still time. If only a tiny bit.
With an effort, she forced the feelings down and schooled her expression to stillness. Her fists slowly released the bunched-up blankets that she didn't remember grabbing. Ian was still looking away, which gave her an extra precious moment to collect herself. However, she couldn't take too long to respond.
"You do?"
He nodded. "Y-yeah. I mean, who wouldn't? You're smart, funny, good at Bash Bros, nice… all those things. But it's not just that. You also went the extra mile to help a weirdo nerd like me, for… well, who knows what reason?"
She snorted. "You're not a weirdo nerd. Well, actually, you are a weirdo. And I guess you're a nerd, too. So…"
Ian smiled a little before continuing. "Seriously, though. You've done so much for me. Not just the art and the marketing and the playtesting, either. You've… you've been there for me. You've supported me when no one else did. You've helped me push myself to keep going and actually let myself take game design seriously. It's something I never would have done on my own.
"You've… you've helped me to gain the confidence I always wished I had. I mean, I wouldn't say I am confident, not yet. I've still got a long way to go. But… I'm better than I was. And it's all because of you."
At his final words, Ian finally lifted his gaze to meet hers. The fluorescent lights of the dorm room sparkled in his eyes, twinkling like moonbeams reflecting off the ocean waves. His voice had grown more steady as he spoke, reinforcing his point as he locked eyes with her. The extended eye contact made her cheeks flush slightly.
He really has changed, hasn't he? She allowed herself a small smile at the thought. The fact that he's confessing at all is proof enough of that. Although…
His hands were once again in his hoodie pocket, obscured from her view. However, she could see him fidgeting slightly through the fabric.
Yeah, I bet he's nervous. I'm honestly impressed he got all that out without stuttering too much. I would have completely botched it… I shouldn't keep him waiting.
"I like you, too."
As the words left her mouth, she realized it was true. She really had come to like the guy, not just as a friend, but as something more. It wasn't the same kind of attraction she'd felt before, though. It wasn't like her unrequited admiration for Alex or how Philip had snuck up and tugged on her heartstrings. This was different.
It's because Ian has always been here. Always. Pretty much since the very beginning.
Compared to the other male leads, Ian was the only one that had been truly "approachable" for her. Awkward and shy, sure, but their shared interest in gaming meant that they'd always had something to talk about from very early on. Even Alex, as charismatic as he was, had been hidden away behind cross country and his popularity and her own fumbling attempts at conversation for far too long. It had taken ages for her to get comfortable around him, much less feel like she could actually call herself his friend.
But Ian? Throughout the loops, Ian's friendship was one of the most consistent things she had. She didn't particularly care if his friendship ending hadn't actually been triggered for a while. Every loop, he was always there for her to escape to and play a few friendlies with. He felt like home.
And now she was going to lose him.
A lump formed in her throat. It's… it's ok. It's not like this hasn't happened before. It's the same as every other time. Besides, he won't be gone. Not really. He'll still be there. Even if he… won't be the same.
Ian blinked at her own returned confession, his face frozen in a mixture of shock and relief. This time, his own cheeks began to color. "You… you do?"
It took a bit of effort to stifle her own chuckle. "Of course. Seriously, why are you surprised by this? I already told you that I admire you, didn't I?"
"I-I mean, sure, but…" he managed to stammer out. "That's not… You were just saying that to be nice. Right?"
Kaitlyn leaned back on the bed, letting out a long sigh. "Geez. Weren't you just talking about how you're way more confident and all that?"
"Yeah, but—"
"I'm kidding." She shook her head at the flustered look on his face. "Seriously, Ian. I mean it. I like you. As much as I might've supported you, you've always been there for me, too. Not to mention I respect the heck out of you. Not just because Grail is awesome, either. It's the work you put into it. It's… kind of inspiring, to be honest."
Ian's cheeks continued to darken from a slight blush to a deep red as she spoke, evidently unable to handle the unexpected compliments. "Ah. I. Sorry, I just… it's so hard to believe. Then…"
Ian sat there frozen with indecision for a few moments longer, his eyes darting to look at Kaitlyn and then at anything else he could. She saw him reach up to scratch his neck, then force his hand back down with an effort.
With a small laugh, Kaitlyn patted the bed next to her. "Come on. Sit over here."
Slightly confused, Ian set aside his long-forgotten slice of cheesecake and stood. Kaitlyn scooted over on the bed as he sat, then reached over to hug him.
"Seriously, Ian. Just accept that you're awesome already."
She buried her face in his shoulder, his chestnut curls brushing against her forehead. Ian tensed beneath her arms, freezing up at the contact. Then, slowly but surely, he relaxed and began to return the embrace.
"...Thanks, Kay," he mumbled into her hair. "For… for everything."
"Of course. Thank you for letting me come along for the ride." Her eyes closed as she murmured softly.
Outside the window, the last hints of twilight disappeared, plunging the campus into darkness. Not even the moon's glow penetrated the thick clouds that hung high in the air. Kaitlyn held her friend tight, refusing to so much as loosen her crushing hug. Ian didn't complain one bit.
The moment lasted for an eternity. But as time marched on, Kaitlyn realized she would have to let go at some point. Reluctantly, she disentangled herself from the embrace, looking up at Ian one more time. He cleared his throat, one hand still lingering on her shoulder.
"So. Uh." He began, giving her a hesitant smile. "We uh, both like each other. Which is awesome. So… what happens next?"
"Now?" Kaitlyn gave him a small smile. "Now… we kiss, I guess."
Ian's eyes widened. "Are you sure? I-I mean, are you ok with…?"
She exhaled sharply. "Seriously, Ian? What, do you think I'll say no?"
"No! It's not that. I've just never…" he looked away. "Erm… it's kind of embarrassing to admit…"
Oh. Right. He's probably never kissed anyone before.
Of the two of them, she was probably the more experienced one in matters of romance and dating—a strange thought, considering she'd only shared two kisses in her entire life. Still, two was better than none.
Her hand reached up to brush a lock of hair away from his face. "It's ok. It's easy. Here, I'll show you. Close your eyes and lean forward…"
Kaitlyn gestured for him to come a little closer. Ian obliged, but hesitated before closing his eyes.
"Seriously, Kay. Thank you." He nodded toward his laptop on the desk. "Meeting you's been the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of you, I've been able to do what I've always wanted to. And now? Now… my dream's actually becoming a reality." He took a deep, shaky breath and gave her another enthusiastic smile. "I can't wait to see where we go from here."
Her heart clenched at the sheer excitement on his face. Taking a deep breath, Kaitlyn forced herself to match the sentiment. "Yeah. Same here."
He closed his eyes and leaned forward as she did the same. Their lips met softly.
Goodbye, Ian.
***
Cycle 34 Complete!
New Ending Unlocked!
Ending: The Road Less Traveled
Total Endings Unlocked: 11
Achievement Earned: Chicken Dinner
***
Sunlight peeked through from behind Kaitlyn’s closed eyelids. For a moment, she lay there in silence, holding her eyes closed against the morning. Then, she slowly pushed herself up to a sitting position, her hands falling into her lap.
That's it, then.
It was over. The end of cycle screen had confirmed it—she'd finally earned a new ending.
Closing her eyes, she pulled up the Progress Report.
Progress Report
Current Cycle:
Cycle 35 (Week 1)
Endings (11/18):
Alex (3/3 – Complete!)
Dinner Date
Comfort Food
Rotten to the Core
Ian (3/3 – Complete!)
The Road Less Traveled
A Winding Path
The Road to Hell
Philip (2/3)
Family Matters
Distant Relations
???
Vinny (1/3)
???
???
Party Crasher
Elliot (1/3)
???
Fertile Ground
???
Other (1/3)
???
Under the Radar
???
Achievements (12):
The First of Many - Unlock your first ending
What Friends Are For - Unlock a friendly ending for any male lead
Walking Red Flag - Unlock a bad ending for any male lead
Happily Ever After - Unlock a romance ending for any male lead
From Every Angle - Unlock all endings for a single male lead
Wingman - Complete the “Rachel and Cedric” easter egg
A Solid Start - Unlock 5 unique endings
Dean’s List - Ace all five classes
The Spice of Life - Unlock 10 unique endings
Team Player - Win first place at the Bara Bash doubles tournament
Winner Winner - Win first place at a singles tournament
Chicken Dinner - Win first place at the Bara Bash singles tournament
The Road Less Traveled. A pretty fitting name, I guess.
One more line on the imaginary screen. Two, if she counted the achievement. That was all she had to show for another semester's worth of joy and heartbreak. It was all she had to remember him by.
Well, that's not entirely true, I guess.
Opening her eyes, she took in the familiar emptiness of her dorm room. The corkboard sat on the wall by her desk, populated as usual with a copy of her classes, Alex's painting, and Philip's sock bunny. But now, another trinket had joined them. A small, postcard-sized printout of Grail's cover art sketch. A burly warrior raised his sword in an arcing slash, posing in front of a tall mountain. All around, the various types of demonic enemies loomed threateningly.
Huh. I'm kind of surprised it picked that one to show. I never actually printed a copy of that one off or anything.
It did make sense that the trinket was related to Grail. It was an absolutely massive part of Ian's route, after all. But it was also the most obviously identifiable of the three. And the hardest to explain away.
Then again, we ended up going with a completely different design. This one is just a sketch, and it doesn't even have the title. So… maybe it's not as obvious as I thought.
I'm sure there's another box waiting for me outside, too.
Kaitlyn sat in the silence for a moment longer. The sound of her own breathing was the only thing audible in the room. This early in the loop, there weren't even other students milling about in the neighboring dorms or moving in. It was just… quiet.
It's over.
Strangely, it didn't hurt as much as she'd feared. Instead of the sharp pain she'd expected, she felt numbness. Numbness and a dull, aching sense of loss that gnawed at her.
I wonder if I should be worried about that. Maybe I am getting too desensitized to all this…
Perhaps it was true. Or perhaps it was just a particularly familiar kind of loss. She had, after all, been torn away from her home before.
She sat for a while longer to collect herself, then flung the blankets to the side. The room felt too warm and claustrophobic. Standing up, she threw open the window and leaned out to cool off.
Down below, the paved pathways of Hartland University were just coming to life as the campus began to awaken. The crisp autumn breeze tousled her hair and the foliage of the oak trees. The gentle rustling sound drifted up to meet her ears as the faint smell of roses greeted her nose.
Is this really worth it?
For the first time in a while, she allowed herself to consider the question. She didn't know. She really couldn't know. There was no guarantee that all of her efforts and progress would actually yield any kind of real results. Not until she'd walked that path to the end.
I can't let myself get discouraged. That won't help anyone—least of all me. She shook her head. And besides. I am making a difference. As much of a difference as I can, at least.
Now that she'd finished another romance ending, she was certain that Ian would be changed as well. What form that change took remained to be seen. But it was sure to be for the better, just like the others.
Memories of his enthusiastic expression at Bara Bash bubbled to the surface, sending a particularly strong ache through her chest. Taking a deep breath, Kaitlyn straightened. No. I did something. I can't lose sight of that, no matter how small and insignificant it might feel. I helped. And I can keep helping, as long as I keep moving forward.
The Ian she knew wasn't really gone, not really. None of them were. They lived on inside her memories, and in the slightly altered versions of themselves within the loop. They would continue on as people who'd been left a little more happy than she'd found them. Each one was a small glimmer of hope in her seemingly endless time in Heartthrob University. A shining reminder that she could change not just herself, but others for the better.
I wonder what he'll be like now.
It was an idle curiosity, and one that she likely wouldn't indulge any time soon. Time would tell. But in the meantime, there were other things to do.
Right now… I need to get ready for the next loop.
Stepping back from the window, Kaitlyn turned away from the idyllic view of Hartland University and squared her shoulders. There was so much more to do.
///BOOK 2 IS OFFICIALLY DONE!!! AAAAAAAAAA
This one ended up being so much longer than I planned oh my gosh. Seriously. But altogether, I think I'm pretty happy with how it turned out! Now it's time for EDITING WOOOOO
Anyway, we'll get going on book 3 right away! I'm not planning to take a break or anything, so expect your next chappie as usual. Well, unless I'm running slow. But SO FAR I think I'm doing pretty good on that front.
As always, thank yall for sticking with me and reading this far. Also, give yourself a pat on the back! You've read about 400k words of this dang story so far! That's pretty neat! :D So I hope you're still enjoying it as much as I am.
