Neviara
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Cycle 34-9: If You Build It
🕑 Added 2024-06-07 16:00:08 +0000 UTCThe sharp, synthetic sound of the keyboard thrummed through Kaitlyn's headphones, filling her ears. Her fingers danced up the keys, then down again as she began warming up. To her right, bands of bright sunlight streamed through her dorm window to illuminate the space.
I really need to find a way to change this up.
Playing scales was straightforward and useful, and it did transfer to some pretty measurable improvements in her playing. That didn't make practicing them any less boring. It was a bit of an issue, one that meant she was going through the motions rather than actually paying attention to the task at hand.
Though even doing that is still getting me a lot. So I guess I shouldn't complain.
She tried to mix things up a bit, varying the rhythms of each scale and speeding them up until they tested her abilities once again. Improvement was the point of practice, after all. And she hadn't been doing nearly enough of it lately.
In the pauses between one scale and the next, Kaitlyn allowed herself to think about her progress this loop. As usual, she'd made strides on pretty much all fronts. Kate's Kitchen, Chella's, the lab, music, programming… her skills were getting better in each one. But the gains were smaller than usual.
I haven't had time to develop recipes or even stop by lab too much. Not to mention that this is the first time I've been able to play all week.
Not that she could complain. The time she'd taken from her routine activities was going straight to Ian hangouts and playtesting his game. It was a completely worthwhile tradeoff.
Still, some part of her insisted that she had to do it all. Fear nagged at her, a fear that falling behind in other places was a sign of laziness. Worse, what if it meant she was relapsing, putting on blinders to the rest of the world once again?
No, this is different. She stretched her fingers. All this stuff is well and good, and I needed a routine. But the guys and endings are always the priority. I always told myself that I can take a break or let it slip if it means making progress. I can always come back to this stuff later.
It was the deal she'd made with herself after Philip's ending, one that had helped get her back on track. And to be fair, she had cut back on her other extracurriculars a bit during Ian's bad ending as well. But even then, they had been replaced with studying and other schoolwork with Ian. It hadn't really felt like a tradeoff. Not in the same way.
That feels wrong to even think. It's not like we're being any less productive. If anything, we're—he's—being MORE productive and doing something even cooler. So maybe this is just me putting my money where my mouth is.
Finishing the last scale with a flourish, Kaitlyn allowed herself to sit back and take a short break. There were plenty of songs she could work on. A few were old favorites that would just feel comfortable, while others she hadn't quite gotten the hang of yet. But today, she was feeling something different.
I have been meaning to look up Kingdom Spades music… Maybe that'll be fun?
Curiously, she tapped a few searches into her laptop. A plethora of results popped into existence. She scrolled through them, her eyebrows rising.
Dang. Ian wasn't kidding about this being a popular game, was he?
For each song she looked up, there were at least a handful of transcriptions, covers, or downloadable copies of sheet music. Some of the more well-known ones, like the title theme, boasted even more options. It seemed that the question wouldn't be whether the music was available, but which rendition to pick.
With a bit more searching and looking up actual song names, she pulled up a handful of variants on one of the battle themes. It was one of her favorites. Plus, she was in the mood for something a bit more intense today.
Alright, let's give these a shot. She cracked her knuckles, waggling her fingers over the keys. One of them's gotta be good, at least. Though who knows, maybe I'll need a bit more practice to do them justice.
With a slight smile, she dove into the first notes.
***
Corgo rolled backwards, coming to his feet just in time to block a descending kick from CinnaBun. He dodged in place to avoid the follow-up grab, then leapt up and above the anticipated strike that would follow. His leg flashed out in a vicious kick on the way.
"Oooooh," John sucked in a breath as the boot connected with the rabbit's face. "Yikes. Should've backed off, there."
"Yeah?" Ian challenged, not taking his eyes off the game. "I'd like to see you do better. Want a turn?"
"Nope, no thanks." John raised his hands defensively. "I'm good. My Squeegee has a fever. He can't play right now."
"Oh, does he?" Kaitlyn asked innocently. "I've got a pretty good Dr. Wellers, if you want to get him checked out. Might be good for him."
"You have a Dr. Wellers?" John shook his head. "Why? Who even does that? He's not even a meme character."
"I'm not hearing a no."
"Nope, nope, nope." Kaitlyn heard John back away. "I've gotta go do tournament stuff. I'm too busy to flex on you."
She couldn't help but laugh at the absurd excuse as the guy retreated. They were between brackets right now, doubles having finished not too long ago. Kaitlyn and Ian swept through the competition easily, as usual. Still, if John wanted to get ahead on setting things up to avoid her, she wouldn't complain.
Ian took advantage of the momentary distraction. Despite her early lead, she ended up losing the game by a pretty narrow margin. But she didn't mind.
He glanced over at her. "Wanna go again?"
"Sure. We've got time."
As they loaded in, she snuck a brief glance at her teammate. She'd spent a lot of time thinking about him lately. Their conversation from a few weeks ago had forced her to really think about what she was doing and why. Regardless of her own feelings on the matter, her mind simply refused to let the topic drop.
The revelation that she actually liked Ian had resulted in quite a few days of turmoil. As for why…. Well, it was nothing she hadn't been through before. Yet it also felt entirely different.
I thought I would be ready for it this time. Apparently not.
Despite her best efforts, consciously and not, she had found herself coming to admire the guy a bit. She truly did respect Ian in a way that she really hadn't before. That, combined with how much she just enjoyed spending time with him, made for quite a different story than ever before. It also made her realize just how distant she'd been in past loops.
I really was keeping him at arm's length, wasn't I? Treating him as a male lead rather than an actual person. At most he was a friend. Maybe I didn't think I actually COULD like him like that. Not at this point.
If anything, the familiar fluttering in her chest should have made it easier to cope with her feelings. The fact that she was able to still sit next to him and play like this was a testament to that. But it didn't help with the dread of what was to come.
Her heart clenched. It won't be as bad, this time. I'm ready. I can prepare for it.
She tried to convince herself that it was true. Ian had been one of her first real friends here, the first guy she actually felt comfortable around. Even without a romance ending, she'd spent plenty of time hanging out with him. That kind of chemistry wouldn't disappear entirely.
Sure, he'll forget. But even with that, it'll be ok… right? We can still be like this. We can still hang out and pretend that it really did happen. At least, I can.
With a forceful shake of her head, she refocused on the game. She didn't want to let thoughts of the future intrude on what she had now. Besides, Ian was comboing her pretty badly at the moment.
"You alright, Kay?"
Ok. Apparently I'm not so good at keeping this stuff in after all. With a wince, she shrugged nonchalantly. "Sorry, just thinking."
"About what? You seem kinda off."
"Ah…" Her mind raced for a reasonable alternative. "I was just… just thinking about the game. You know, thinking about what I can do to help, you know?"
"Really?" He blinked in surprise. "That's… sorry, I'm still kind of getting used to that."
"To what?"
"To the idea that you're actually interested enough to help, I guess? Beyond playtesting and all that. It just feels… so weird."
"I told you. The game's awesome and I want to see it finished."
Ian ducked his head, giving her a sheepish half-smile. The expression reminded her of the one he'd had during the career fair, meek and uncertain.
Kaitlyn just sighed and shook her head. Corgo leapt off the edge of the stage to dunk CinnaBun into the abyss one last time. "Seriously, Ian. You need to get some confidence. I'm not just saying it's awesome. I really believe it."
His expression didn't change. She didn't know if her words reached him or not, but based on how much trouble he had accepting that she wanted to stick around and help… it was pretty likely that he didn't quite believe her still. The thought made her chest tighten.
It kills me how little confidence he has… Maybe that sounds hypocritical, but it's true. He's got every reason to be proud of himself, and he just seems so blind to it.
It was something she really wanted to help with, even more than the game. But she didn't exactly know how. So for now, she could only stay supportive and reassure him whenever possible.
Her mind wandered as they started up another game. The rabbit and dog leapt across the screen in rapid-fire exchanges and dizzying movement patterns. Come to think of it… I haven't really asked about his future plans, have I?
"By the way… what are you going to do with the game once it's done?"
"Hmmm…" She saw his head tilt slightly from the corner of her eye. "I hadn't really gotten that far. I figure I'll just put it up online somewhere. There's a few places that let you self-publish games, I think?"
Kaitlyn waited for him to continue, only to be met with silence. As she hurtled off the screen, she took the opportunity to spare the guy a skeptical glance. "That's it?"
"Er… yeah?" Ian shrugged. "Why?"
"What about marketing? Are you going to advertise or anything? What about getting the people around here to playtest?"
"Nah, I'm not good at that stuff. I'll just put it out there, and… well, people will play it if they want to, right?"
"That's not—" Kaitlyn stopped herself. "I mean, yes, and I think that the game's good enough that a lot of people will want to. But how will they know it exists?"
Ian frowned. "Word of mouth, I guess? I'm not expecting some smash hit. Besides, I don't really like doing advertising and stuff. It feels so… I dunno, it's not my thing."
She understood completely. Marketing had always felt a little manipulative to her as well, especially at the start. But that had changed over time as she developed Kate's Kitchen. Seeing how many more people were able to enjoy her food because of just a little advertising…
"...If you've got a good product, then advertising is only helping people find what they really want. Especially in cases like this," she replied. The argument was one she recalled from Heather. "You've tried my food. Do you think I should be advertising it?"
"Of course," Ian didn't even hesitate.
"See?" She nodded, her point made. "It's the same thing here."
"But—"
"Your game is worth it, Ian. Trust me." Kaitlyn shot him a smile. "And if it's not, well, I guess we'll find out pretty quick, huh?"
"I… I guess…" He didn't sound entirely convinced.
"Alright! Singles players, listen up for your first round pairings!"
John was standing near the front table, laptop in hand. As they looked over, he began calling out pairings.
"Burger Bob and Zaifry! Setup 1…"
This is something I can actually do. Something that will help, without me even touching the game itself. It's perfect.
Still, she had to make sure he was ok with it. As John continued to rattle off pairings, she tugged at Ian's sleeve to get his attention. "Listen… you don't have to do it if you don't want to. It's your call, completely. But I think it could really help."
They locked eyes. Ian bit his lip in thought, seeming to weigh the idea in his mind before nodding slowly.
"...Ok. I trust you, Kaitlyn." He smiled. "Thank you, seriously. And… maybe you can help me with the publishing stuff, too? I don't know how any of that works…"
She grinned. "Of course. You can count on me."
"Indy and Philbert! Setup 6!"
Kaitlyn wished her teammate good luck as he rose and headed toward his first match. Meanwhile, her mind was already churning with ideas and possibilities. As much as she'd pushed for this, actually doing it was another matter. She wasn't exactly an expert on marketing herself.
Luckily, I know someone who can help.
