Arawn751
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Arccane Apocalypse ~ 61
🕑 Added 2024-11-13 17:00:17 +0000 UTCUPLOAD SCHEDULE CHANGE! (Sorry in advance)
Well, all things come to an end, and so did my initial burst of inspiration for this story. For the first few months, I'd been writing five or six chapters a week, but now I can barely manage one or two. I'm not burnt out, per se, but I just can't find that same boundless motivation it in myself to keep that pace up, not as things stand. I'm also writing another story at the side, which I also write two 2.3k word chapters per week for, which when combined with the three 3k+ word chapters I'd have to write for AA to keep up, I just can't.
I'd started with 50 chapters in my backlog, worked that number up to around 70, then watched it sink back down to 50 and di under. I'm at 40 chapters beyond my latest patreon chapter atm, but it still fills me with anxiety to watch that number drop so quickly. So, instead of waiting until I fully ran out, which would have left me scrambling to write chapters deadline per deadline, I'm cutting the weekly three chapters down to two and am hoping that it'll be enough.
For the sake of keeping the current quality up, and allowing me some leeway to backtrack, edit, and go over stuff I write before actually posting it, I think it is paramount that I keep at least 15 chapters in my backlog. So that's the number at which I'll have to think this through again when the time comes. Hopefully, it never will, but we never know. So sorry for this guys, I knew some of you are subscribed with annual payments (holy shit) and can't just unsub (I think). If you want a refund because of my under-delivering on the promised quantity of chapters, PM me and I'll handle it. (I've never done it before, but I think refunding you is possible.) As for those of you who stick around, thanks in advance.
TLDR: I'm a bit burnt out and can't keep up the pace. Weekly, I'll reduce the three chapters to two. This will be the last Wednesday chapter upload for this story until I finish my other side project and get some much-needed free time. Sorry guys, and thank you for your understanding.
NEW UPLOAD SCHEDULE: Monday 18:00 CET and Friday 18:00 CET
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https://docs.google.com/document/d/1kjEdmfJQNb7a_GUG6zzlze0b6AOG2po_PezK8ER69LM/edit?usp=sharing
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Despite what some may think, Carmilla wasn’t entirely blind to cues. She may lack personal experience with social interactions, but she was a vampire and vampires were supposed to be perfect social chameleons.
The fact that Carmilla only recognised what Mia was doing — or rather, her feelings — when the girl masterfully drove the topic of the conversation toward fantasy books and a bit of roleplay, would make her ancestors cry tears of blood.
“Or you are secretly in love with me?” Mia had said, and that was when Carmilla felt the last piece of the puzzle snap into place.
Or rather, when she looked into those glistening sapphire eyes full of hope and longing.
I’d been wondering why my instincts told me she liked me more than the rest. Carmilla mused, kicking off of another rooftop as she enjoyed the wind rushing in her face. I guess I know now …
The big question was, of course, what to do about it. It had Carmilla stumped like nothing before.
She had read a bunch of romance novels and … some steamier stuff too, but she wasn’t dumb enough to believe those were accurate depictions of how those things worked in reality.
Hell, she wasn’t even sure whether she liked men or women with how messed up her hormones had been throughout her teenage years from chemo. She’d thought herself asexual before her death, since she never had those urges described in the books.
Now though, looking back on her feelings and thoughts with the power of retrospective introspection, things were different.
Stopping near the city’s edge, Carmilla perched herself up on a high branch and glanced down at a group of Zeigler’s scouts playing poker below.
She looked them over experimentally, letting her gaze wash over the three men and two women.
They were all sorts, so Carmilla guessed if she had preferences, they’d show now. A big, muscular man, a lean athletic one and a stocky dwarf were the three males while the women were a tall blonde elf and a petite freckled brunette.
Carmilla felt her gaze drawn towards three of them, the two women and the large muscular man. She recognised the pull towards the man and the elf to be her vampiric hunger though, and not … Well, arousal? Or was this just ‘attraction’?
Not used to feeling either, Carmilla couldn’t quite tell. Hell, for all she knew it might as well have been love at first sight and she still wouldn’t know even if it was.
The elf had some sort of a weak Light bloodline that brimmed with power and called to Carmilla’s hunger, while the large man was just filled to the brim with lifeforce for some reason.
The small brunette though, with her large doe eyes and freckled face … Carmilla wanted to lock her up and keep the cute thing all for herself. Or push her down into the dirt and drain her dry … or did she? The push her down part was certain, but …
She had no intention of doing either of course. She wasn’t a barbarian. But she wanted to. Was that it? Was she just some primal beast that liked to do things to cute girls?
I refuse. I’m not a monster.
The worst thing was that the petite girl reminded her of Mia. Of course, the halvyr was a world-class gem compared to the pretty pebble that this brunette was, but there was some similarity.
Well, at least now she was pretty sure she liked women. That was one thing she didn’t know for certain just yesterday.
Carmilla silently jumped away, prowling through the canopy as she jumped from branch to branch until she reached a nice calm spot where she settled down to think.
In the end, she couldn’t really come to a conclusion. Still, she now knew for certain that Mia wanted something from her she wasn’t sure she could provide.
Vampires weren’t really fit for the human sort of love after all. The few instances where she remembered any of her ancestors being involved in anything romantic it … didn't end well for their partners.
Alternatively, when both parties were vampires, it didn’t end well for either of them. The one memory she had of one having a thirst with another vampire was something only fit for the ‘vore’ category of some dark web porn site.
I’m not going to be like that. Never. Especially not with Mia. Carmilla resolved herself. She would never forgive herself if she did even a tenth of the things some of her ancestors did to their ‘brides’.
She could only thank the stars and fate that her vampire mother kicked the bucket back when she was too young to properly remember her. She hadn't been able to ingrain that messed up mentality into her and was far too weak of a vampire otherwise to leave bloodline memories of her own behind.
Hurray for a messed up childhood making me a better person than 99% of my kin. Carmilla thought sourly, staring at the swaying branches around her. Friends, I can do, even if I’m a pretty bad friend … I think. But I can't risk anything more, not with Mia. She is too precious. She doesn’t deserve having to put up with … me.
Vampiric instincts were strange things. The hunger was constant, but the intensity varied based on more than just how delicious someone’s blood smelled.
It was easiest to resist the beast’s urging to drink someone dry for example if she thought of them as merely cattle, it was harder if she considered them her equal as the urge to dominate them would rise greatly if she did.
How much worse could it be if she liked someone? If she loved someone? How much worse would even that be made if that someone had a bloodline as temptingly delicious as Mia’s?
Carmilla didn’t trust herself to be able to fight off those urges, those vile instincts that cursedly came along with the power she’d been longing for all her life. Not as she was now. She was still too weak, if not in body then in mind and spirit.
Carmilla heaved a sigh, the image of those hopeful azure eyes staring up at her appearing in her mind. Maybe once I have enough Will to keep these damned vampiric instincts reliably at bay and a strong enough Mind and Spirit to make sure no accidents happen. Maybe then, we can give it a try … if she hadn't forgotten about me by then.
After another few minutes of just thinking everything over, Carmilla gave herself a nod. She stood up from her perch and set off on her way back to the house.
She needed to talk with Mia. If she didn't want whatever they had now, she would have to do this perfectly.
Arriving back only five minutes later, she heaved a sigh of relief when she saw only the little pink haired girl out in the garden. It wasn’t going to get any more private than that.
***
“You’re back,” Mia said with a smile, looking up from her book as Carmilla landed a few metres away with feline grace.
Mia had heard her sooner, of course, but didn’t want to make things weird so she only glanced up now.
“I am,” Carmilla said, squirming uncomfortably under Mia’s gaze. “We need to talk.”
“Talk?” Mia asked, swallowing a lump in her throat. No one liked to hear ‘we need to talk’ from their crush, especially when they were looking so squeamish. “Okay, sure, what about?”
“You know,” Carmilla started, settling down in front of Mia with her legs crossed. The girl looked into Mia’s eyes, her gaze conflicted. “I’m not blind … not entirely anyway. I’m uhhh, I think- I don’t think what’s going on is going to work out. Not with- not with me being as I am.”
“What?” Mia set her book down and moved closer to the vampire. “What won’t work out? And with you being what?”
“I … uhm, you want something more than just being friends, don’t you?” Carmilla asked, looking down to the side.
“I- yes,” Mia said, surprising even herself. Her heart was thundering in her chest and her stress and anxiety were mounting, twisting her insides up into a gigantic knot. “I would. But why wouldn’t it work? Do you … do you just not like women? Or me?”
She sniffled a little at the end as her eyes watered.
“No, no NO!” Carmilla said, quickly reaching out to hold Mia by the shoulder. The petite girl just looked up hopefully, biting her trembling lips. “I do like women, I think, and I certainly like you … but I’m a vampire. Which is the problem, a vampire’s love is … dangerous. I’m too young and weak to fully control my instincts. I really don’t need you to tease them any more than your mere presence already does.”
Carmilla was ranting, sounding desperate to have Mia understand her conundrum, but the halvyr’s hearing had turned selective from the stress and the pink filter that descended on her mind.
“Dangerous how?” Mia asked, her heart fluttering at Carmilla just saying the word ‘love’. She really was starving.
“You could die, Mia,” Carmilla sighed. “Or worse. If I slip for just a moment, you could die. I can’t do that to you, can’t put you up for that risk. No, I won’t.”
Mia’s fantasies shattered like a castle of glass at the certainty in Carmilla’s voice. There was finality in her words, an unchangeability. Still, all wasn’t lost just yet. Mia latched onto the one possibility she could find, her mind spinning with the power of her higher Cognity and her Will working overtime to keep her from shattering and scurrying away to cry herself to sleep.
“But that’ll change, right?” Mia asked, trying to troubleshoot the issue while it was still maybe, perhaps, possible. She wasn’t going to let this go until all possibilities were exhausted. She refused to just … lie down and take it. Again. Not again. Never again. “You’ll grow stronger, learn to control yourself better. You had never done anything to me so far, even when I bled in fights. I’ve seen how you struggle, but you’ve always kept control. I can wait for you to grow and learn to control yourself. I don’t mind. Just don’t say ‘no’. Please.”
“It could be years before I trust myself to do anything more than we have already,” Carmilla said, and the faint trace of hope in her voice almost made Mia squeal in delight. She latched onto that.
“I’ll live for fife damned centuries Carmilla,” Mia buzzed, grabbing the vampire’s hands and squeezing them with a smile. “I have time, I have all the time in the world so I really don’t mind.”
“I’m sure you could find someone else,” Carmilla said, averting her gaze as she said the words like they were doused in holy water. “Someone better, someone without my … problems. You’re kind, gentle and caring Mia, I’m sure you can do better than … me. You don’t have to wait. Find someone better, and don’t worry, we would still be friends.”
Find someone else? Nuh, uh. I’ve been trying to find someone for ages and you’re by far the best. You aren’t going anywhere if I have anything to say about it.
“What if I want you?” Mia asked, tugging at her arm, leaning forward to stare into Carmilla’s eyes with all the sincerity she could put into her gaze. “I don’t want some woman from who knows where, I want the gorgeous vampire that saved my life time and again. You might not be perfect, but you are perfect for me and I want you.”
“Okay,” Carmilla swallowed, looking like a skittish animal. Likely, only Mia’s hold on her arms kept her in place. “If you really want to … we can try, I guess. But I’ve never- uhm, never done anything like this.”
“Me neither,” Mia beamed up at her, practically bouncing in place. “Going to be fun. You just have to be you, alright? So, by the way, are we now … courting?”
“I suppose,” Carmilla said, watching Mia’s visible delight with a slowly growing smile. The poor girl looked overwhelmed.“I … really can’t do anything more than we already have. Not until my Spirit is much higher.”
“Define ‘much’,” Mia said. I’m being courted, proper princess treatment right there. Eeeeeee.
“I don’t know,” Carmilla shrugged. “You can’t put numbers on instincts and urges. But … I really don't want to risk even just biting you until my Spirit and Will are up in the thirties, preferably fifties.”
“What about a kiss?” Mia asked, her gaze fluttering down to the full crimson lips of the vampire that curved up into a smile at her question.
She didn’t know what was coming over her, but the words were just flowing right out of her mouth. The filter in her mind was momentarily gone, and thoughts flowed right onto her tongue to be spoken.
Something which she was probably going to regret later, but was immensely thankful for in the moment.
“ … twenties,” Carmilla said after a moment. “Minimum.”
“Something to look forward to then,” Mia smiled, then jumped up. She was buzzing, so full of energy and happiness she just couldn’t stay in one place. “Let’s go for a run!”
If she didn’t work off this adrenaline and surge of hormones with some running, Mia feared she’d attempt some alternative cardio practices.
Which was a big no-no. Carmilla trusted her to behave and not tease her predatory vampire instincts. So Mia would behave. Courting. We are courting.
She pulled the pretty redhead up by the arms, smiling all the way out the street where they set off in a run. Mia smiled through it all, suppressing the urge to giggle and laugh whenever she thought of what'd happened or glanced at Carmilla.
She knew she was acting like a hormonal teenage girl getting her first crush to ask her out on a date, but … well, technically she was still both.
She was 24 and would live for 500 years. That’s like, 4 years old in human years. She was practically a baby in Halvyr terms.
And, well, Carmilla was the first crush she had whom she managed to get herself into some semblance of a relationship with. It was a thrill unlike any other.
And she’s so much better than all of them.
Of course, whenever Mia was having a happy moment life liked to throw a curveball at her, and this time it came in the form of a commotion down the street the two girls were running along.
Mia hopped to a stop, with Carmilla sliding to a halt next to her. The vampire was still doing that thing where she was struggling not to overtake Mia, so they could run together.
“You bastards!” One man shouted, a group of people gathering around him in a crowd. “I take pity on you and give you some of my food and you send your wretched beastly kin on me to rob me blind?”
“I didn’t,” a weaker voice said, the source of it lost in between the mass of bodies. “I have nothing to do with-“
“Lies!” The first man shouted, trembling with rage as the crowd around him murmured in agreement. “They knew exactly where I kept the food. We have nothing left. NOTHING! How am I supposed to keep my daughter fed like this?”
Mia shared a glance with Carmilla, she saw the hint of apathy in those ruby eyes but also approval.
“Go,” the vampire said softly. “I’ll protect you if you want to help them.”
Mia gulped, looking back over at the crowd. That was a lot of people, almost fifty and they were all the heavyset suburban dad sorts. Any one of them looked like they could snap Mia in half like a twig.
“Please,” the second voice said, sounding desperate with a hint of fatalistic acceptance. “I didn’t have anything to do with the raids. We’ve known each other for more than ten years, Greg, don’t do this.”
“The man I knew died with the Storm,” Greg said with disdain. “You … you are the twisted thing that the System spat back out. No different from the monsters, just more dangerous. You act like you are one of us! But you just want to drag us down, you all do!”
The next thing Mia heard was a meaty thud as fist smashed into flesh, but as if to defy her expectations, it was Greg who gave a shout of pain.
“Damn you!” The second man shouted, his voice a low growl. “I won’t go down without a fight! If you want to fight so much, come at me bastards. I’ll take at least a few of you to pain island with me!”
“Fucking animal!” Greg roared as he rose back up and Mia could see his head rise over the crowd. He was red in the face like a boiling pot. “You’ll get-“
Mia took that moment to shoot an Arcane Blast into the pavement next to her. It exploded with a thunderous crack, jolting the whole crowd as one. As they turned to the sound, they saw Mia standing there with a hand on her hip and a wand pointing at the basketball sized crater in the asphalt.
Having the capacity to act as a mobile rocket launcher somewhat alleviated the severe lack of there being anything intimidating about Mia. Sure, she had a nasty glare, but to a bunch of forty-something men who had to look down on her to even see her glare and not just the top of her fluffy pink head, it was at best cute and at worst funny.
“Sod off girl, we have something going on here,” one of them shouted, a man with a shovel in his hand and only cargo shorts for clothes. “Or what? You want to save the-“
Mia flicked her hand again, having channelled enough mana into her wand again and Blasted another hole into the ground. Now everyone saw what she’d done, and they all took a collective step back.
“Go home,” Mia said, her soft voice managing to make grown men pale. “We’ll get through this, but not by lynching someone just because … they have fox ears?”
Mia said the last part, staring at the skittish man standing in the middle of the parted crowd. He had a pair of large vulpine ears atop his head, both flattened against his skull as he looked jumpily between everyone. He even had his arms up in fists, waving them around and ready to throw fists should anyone test him.
“Listen here girly,” Greg barked, but Mia noticed he made sure he had someone between him and Mia. “There are fifty of us and only two of you. You go home before you get hurt.”
Some of the men looked at Greg in disgust at that, taking steps away from the man and detaching themselves from the crowd.
It seemed beating on a poor lone beastkin was fine, but not on two young girls. Mia wanted to scoff at that. She really doubted the foxkin man sold out anyone’s food supply.
He remained in the city after the Werewolf’s Call. From what she understood, that was like spitting in the big beastkin boss’ face. The likelihood of him acting like some undercover agent was close to nil.
“It seems there are only twenty of you now,” Mia mused as she watched the group backing Greg dwindle. The ones who stayed though looked ready for murder. “I’m pretty sure I can handle that.”
They didn’t feel strong, not to her Spirit Sense. Mia was still struggling to get anything more than these vague feelings about any non-monster, but if she had to guess, she’d say there wasn’t anyone in the crowd above level 2.
“Well, fuck you then!”
With that shout, they pounced on the poor foxkin man who froze up, ears fuzzin up and stiffening.
Mia cursed and switched her active spell over to the blunt variant of Arcane Bolt. They might have been assholes, but she didn’t want to kill them.
My first fight with actual humans. Mia thought, feeling strangely detached. And it’s over stopping them from lynching a man with fox ears. What has my life turned into?
Comments
jeff
This is Germany right, I am surprise with have not gotten some of the Hail Hitler making them self know earlier. Disasters are the perfect time for people use difference to justice all their petty hatred and illogical fear of the different.
ZephanyZephZeph
Oh, a species based retelling of "I return your feelings but there is something fundamental about me I need to work on before I can safely reciprocate" It shows they're going to have a very healthy relationship, even with an awkward start. Mia saving someone from discrimination immediately after all but sealing Carmilla's adoration for Mia being dorky and kind, but no less willing to use violence.
P3t1
That's a perfectly reasonable stance, I do the same thing with more than a few stories. I'm just cycling through which ones I'm subbed to. Thanks for your support and the praise (my story being compared to PH is tickling my ego quite a bit).
Sean
Full honesty. I'm only subbed for this story and I read a lot. I have to budget which patreons I sub to so I don't end up with like 20 subs. I'll most likely unsub and resub every now and again when cool stuff is happening on the RR chapters and I don't want to wait for the normal release schedule. I really like this story though. It sort of reminds me of Primal Hunter but with less op bloodlines. I really like the big system apocalypse space operas so this is definitely staying in my reading list.
