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Getting Warhammered - 243
🕑 Added 2025-08-27 16:00:26 +0000 UTCGeneral Severian Holt felt himself … snap free, for lack of a better word, from his mortal coil. The world dimmed, along with his thoughts, though his emotions intensified.
He felt a pull on himself, on his soul, and he happily allowed it to drag him towards what must have been the Golden Throne.
It was not. Primal dread filled his entire being as a creature more terrible than human minds could comprehend opened its gaping maw wide. The depths of its abyssal maw were the source of the gravitational pull.
With that realisation came panic, then defiance. He fought tooth and nail to persist, to ward off the pull, but it didn’t matter. Mere willpower wasn’t enough against that creature, not now that the veil that separated the Materium from the Immaterium no longer worked in his favour.
He didn’t know where the Emperor was or what was keeping him. Holt had been faithful his whole life. He had served the Emperor with every breath he took, with every swing of his sword, with every drop of blood and tears he had shed. He deserved salvation. He should have been kneeling before the Golden Throne, presenting himself to the Master of Mankind for judgment.
Not … this. This wasn’t supposed to be. It couldn’t be.
The teeth of the creature nicked him, tasting whatever it was that made up his soul. It didn’t bite down on him, though it could have, and Holt had the feeling it was delighted to have its food struggle.
Then there was another tug, sharper, more insistent but this time in the opposite direction. Holt was sent flying out the beast’s maw, and that was when he heard it, an inhuman scream echoed by a thousand throats as silver light brightened the darkness. Where the light shone, the beasts in the dark scurried and screamed, and Holt relaxed, feeling himself soaring towards the silver sun up high that was the source of this phenomenon.
Finally, it was here. Salvation. His due reward for a life of service, duty and faith. He would not begrudge the Emperor for being … late, who knew how many souls he needed to rescue from those monsters every second? Holt had stared death in the eye enough times that one more didn’t make a difference, even if it felt different.
The surroundings changed. Gone was the seeping darkness and its endless horde of horrors, and in its place Holt saw an expanse of white silver, bare of any life. Except for the woman before him.
Holt staggered, shock and confusion warring within him. This was not the Golden Throne, and the woman was most certainly not the God-Emperor of Mankind.
And yet, the power rolling off of her in waves, radiating outwards, was so thick he could barely comprehend it. The human mind was adept at locking away insights that would bring only madness, and thus it was that Holt could only feel her overwhelming power, and not see what lay beneath.
She was a god. He knew that down in his bones, no matter how blasphemous it felt. As she stood before him, cloaked in a silver radiance that burned away the horrors, he couldn’t deny it. It was impossible to deny it when one was drowning in her awesome power.
But she wasn’t his god.
“Well, your God doesn’t give a rat’s arse about you so you’ll have to make do with me,” the woman said, her voice a mixture of regal grace, casual nonchalance and seductive allure. It threw Holt for a loop. Whatever he’d been expecting, whatever preconceptions he’d had about Gods, none of them lined up with the reality before him. “You have a choice to make, little human. I could use a military advisor as experienced with the Imperium’s way of war as you, that’s one choice. The other is that I throw you back into the Warp and let that beastie have you for a snack.”
“The Emperor will save me,” he said, though he didn’t know how he spoke without a mouth. He just did. “Release me.”
“You’d rather have your soul devoured by daemons than serve a God that’s not your own?” The Goddess asked, more curious than offended. It threw him for yet another loop. This was not at all how he imagined a god acting.
“The Emperor will save me,” he repeated, his voice holding more conviction than his heart felt. How could he be utterly convinced when he still felt how those teeth felt tearing chunks out of his soul, after all?
“Will he now?” The Goddess mused in apparent amusement. “He truly is the greatest scam artist with how convinced you are. But alas, as much as I’d enjoy to break down your faith and show you the truth … you are not interesting enough to bother. I guess it was worth a shot, oh well, off you go.”
Holt barely managed to even see the hand coming as it backhanded him out of the silvery heaven. Once more the roiling darkness surrounded him, the silver star above disappearing behind a veil of darkness, and he felt as much as he saw the furious monsters charge forth.
He had just been one meal out of thousands before, a bit more feisty than the rest, but nothing special. But now? Oh, he’d escaped them once, and they did not like that. Not at all.
He didn’t even have the time to scream or regret his choice before he was torn apart. The pain only registered for the briefest of instants before his mind and soul were snuffed out of existence.
*****
Everything went about as well as it could have. The two ships I’d left untouched escaped as planned, taking with them a handful of frigates — the maximum number their smaller Gellar Fields could give shelter to against the horrors of the Warp — and the ones left behind were now infested with a bunch of rather pleased Orks who’d once again gotten the opportunity to stretch their legs and bloody their axes. The naughty Admiral tried to do a runner, but of course, I couldn’t allow that, so I gave him an express-delivery primed missile. Only those I allowed to run could escape, it was imperative that even the numbskulls that probably commanded the Imperial forces on this front got that message. Maybe then they’d take me seriously enough to gather the majority of their forces to beat me back, thus sparing me the bother of having to run around like a headless chicken, playing an interstellar whack-a-mole with their numerous smaller fleets.
The only thing that didn’t quite work out was grabbing that General, but it was mostly just a whim. I might have tried harder, but I didn’t like zealots, something that I kinda forgot about up until he started spewing some bullshit about the Emperor, all self-assured, like he hadn’t just gotten nibbled on by a daemon. Well, he found out how much his precious faith was worth to his God.
But all that was future stuff and just me whining, let’s get back to the important stuff.
Ravacene was mine. The very world that supposedly gave the whole front — The Greyhell Front — its name, with its hellish green jungles and grey ash clouds blotting out the sun. And it was mine.
Not even the grumpiest of Tau commanders present could deny that I’d done all the work conquering it, and the less grumpy ones were quite happy about it too. Ravacene was an inhospitable planet for them, with not enough resources to make it worth the bother of taming. They were only all too happy to go along with the agreement, even if they’d never believed I could earn myself a System before witnessing my power. They were quite happy too, mentioning how the original timeline had dedicated an entire three months to scouring the Imperium’s forces from the system.
I did all the work, and did it in less than 12 hours, sparing them from wasting the lives of their soldiers and their time. It was a massive win for all of them who were more concerned with the war than with how much power an autonomous ‘vassal’ like myself would be gaining in the process. Tau were the least xenophobic of the species inhabiting the galaxy that I knew of, but that didn’t mean that they were not racist to some level. Speciest. Whatever.
Humans weren’t meant to lead, they were unenlightened savages meant to be guided by the wiser Tau who understood the philosophy of the Greater Good. Only Tau could truly grasp the full meaning of the philosophy, and as such, only they could lead. Or so their thoughts went. As such, granting autonomy, or worse, treating a human as an equal, offended them on a base level.
Not that I cared, Aun’saal was result-focused, as were the other military commanders of the ‘crusade’ — they didn’t call it a crusade, that was a human thing, which was icky, even if it was totally a crusade as far as I was concerned — the majority of them at least. The rest didn’t matter, they couldn’t really do anything besides whining and throwing nasty glances and snide comments my way during meetings. Results spoke for themselves, after all, and I had single-handedly conquered a System they’d been struggling to claim for centuries. In a day. Even the grumpy ones knew to keep their mouths shut for now.
They were waiting, I could tell, to find some leverage or for me to fail. Likely, even the ethereal were waiting for such a thing, probably thinking my current status as an ally would be a temporary thing that’d end the moment I failed, or they figured out my ‘weakness’. Though maybe that was just paranoia on my part, I’d seen no sign of it, but I doubted the high-ranked Ethereals weren’t at least entertaining the idea of ‘putting me back in my place’ if they could get away with it without much fuss. It was what any autocratic governing body would wish to do to an independent actor they could only nominally control.
I was amusing myself by listening in on the Tau infantry reporting to their high command, and then all of them having a collective meltdown that they were desperately trying to hide. Why? Well, I didn’t blow all the Imperial bases to kingdom come, just a handful I wanted to test my orbit-to-ground ordnance on. The others, I used a single combat-drone to help destroy. One combat-drone per base.
The Tau who’d seen them fight and internalised mini panic attacks, which they were now transmitting them to their higher-ups.
Should I find them a better name? Something more thematic? ‘Combat-drone’ is a fine enough official name, but it’s kinda boring. Hmmm, maybe Talos? Ew, nah, as thematic as it would be to name them after a mythical automaton, it sounds clumsy. … Spartoi would fit too, but just thinking about it makes my tongue sore. Draugr? … better.
I wasn’t happy with it, draugr were undead warriors risen from the grave to defend their resting places in myth. It didn’t really fit, mythologically, but I liked the name. Eh, it wasn’t like anyone would know what the hell ‘draugr’ even means.
“You have a visitor,” Selene said, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“He can come back later,” I said, unwilling to move or release my lover. We were doing some much-needed recreational cuddling to relax after a super-strenuous battle we’d just fought. It was important to take the time to relax after such a stressful endeavour! “And you really don’t need to act like my secretary.”
Selene just shrugged, a soft smile on her lips as she made no move to squirm out of my hold either. For whatever unfathomable reason, she enjoyed it, acting like my secretary, bodyguard, second-in-command and whatever other role had her shadowing me and assisting me.
I was still a bit uncomfortable with the obvious boss-employee dynamic this was establishing. Lovers should be equal partners. But she never even argued back properly, just saying ‘I enjoy it though’ or something along those lines, to which I had no counter-arguments.
“He feels anxious,” Selene mused aloud.
“Of course he is,” I huffed. “Some strange alien just came over, whooped the asses of the enemy his people had been at war with for centuries, and then laid claim to the world those very same people had been calling their home for all this time. I already know what the conversation is going to be about, and this is one of those ‘this totally could have been an e-mail’ meetings. Why did the Tau even let him bother me after what I’d just shown them?”
“You know why,” Selene said, giving me an indulgent smile and a raised eyebrow, making me huff.
“Can’t a girl just complain about something without you trying to drag logic and reason into the conversation?” I gave her an exaggerated pout. “Yes, politics, the bane of my existence. They probably think I’d appreciate being given the opportunity to network with the leader of the Kroot auxiliaries on my planet-to-be, who probably has a favour or two to ask me. Doesn’t make it any less of a chore.”
Kroot were just worse Tyranids, and Tyranids were just worse me-s. I guess this was how the Necrons felt when some Tau tried to make nice with them. There is nothing interesting in someone who is a worse version of yourself.
“Can’t become the Empress of everything there is without some politics,” Selene said. I knew that, she also knew that I knew. Stupid logical arguments, I wholeheartedly agree with. “Correction: Lots of politics.”
I slumped, giving a tortured sigh.
“Fine,” I said. “I’ll go talk to the local lead-cannibal and make nice.”
Maybe I’ll get them to stay and see what happens if I feed them funny genetic materials. They got ‘infected’ by the Catachan bandana-thing too, so their ‘I am what I eat’ shtick had to be a bit more thorough than just some minor mutations.
Maybe I could get some laughs out of it.
Comments
Marin Angelov
Thanks for the chapter! The guy got munched! Oh, no! Anyway. Curious how she will troll the Kroot. And how they'll get along after.
Dreamcatcher Ben
That, "The Emperor is far too busy to save the vast majority of people's souls", is the canon position I'm pretty sure. not that he cares or doesn't care, but can't afford to save anyone who isn't one of his most useful or most faithful.
P3t1
Lol. Imagine what eating some of her flesh would do to the Kroot.
TriNcess
YASSS KROOTCHIDNA WHEN
Matt.Silver
To be fair, the Emperor isn't the scam artist, it's the Adeptus Ministorum (the Ecclesiarchy) that made a bunch of promises in His name. Echidna could've done a softer sell e.g. The Emperor is far too busy to save the vast majority of people's souls.
Conman2731
I’m not so certain the Emperor completely doesn’t care else where do the living saints like Saint Celestine come from? Let’s also not forget about the Legion of the Damned either. Both of whom I hope Echidna will meet someday.
Michał Firganek
Thanks for the chapter ! Poor Holt imperial indoctrination is no joke xd
Benedick Avery
Once more a brilliant chapter
P3t1
Nah. Demons just a stubborn and willful enough that his soul survived long enough after his death to get nibbled on by a waiting daemon.
Flippu
was the general a psyker?
Dreamcatcher Ben
It's probably already your plan, and it is your story so feal free to ignore me, but I think the next chapter should contain the imperial's T'au's and Kroots perspectives on the Dragur are-particularly the kroot since their animal instincts would probably be very effected by the bioconstructs. It might even be an idea to have a scene later be a kroot being debriefed, possibly by the duo of coldstone and whatever character who leads the kroot echidna is about to meet, and trying to put what he saw and felt into words If you do do that it might be an idea to start with the attack by a dragur, from pre attack to panic up till whatever guardsman pov character we follow dies. Mabey even an officer or commissar who after losing contact with Holt/the planetary command bunker begins to marshall for a defence of his position, only to see through hiss eyes how the defence falls apart in the face of the tyranid based soldiers. (im right they are tyranid based, right?)
Dreamcatcher Ben
Since your calling the infantry Dragur (thank you for using my recommendation btw) here are some of the other ideas for some more bio-constructs/names for bio-constructs echidna could use in her army. She doesn't have need for most of these yet so they can be added as time goes on in response to the story's events. I have shared some of these ideas previously but I'd like to share them with other readers, and if you are a reader please tell me what you think or expand on the list. The names are almost all mythological, though more obscure so that they wouldn't share a name with an imperial vehicle or similar, and it might be worth briefly checking what all of them are based on in case you don't know. Oh, and the 'hunter construct' could begin being called a 'stalker' by imperials in order to designate it, which echidna could then adopt. It could also be called jaeger, German for hunter, or Autolycus after the master thief of Greek myth. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Neamean Functionally attack bikes, they have a feline body with a network of solid plates of the biological adamantium stand in echidna asked zeedev to make. Their tails have either a small gun or a blade, and they obviously have claws on their feet. Nuckelavee An equine (hourselike) body with a humanoid torso mounted to the 'back'. It's arms have weapons either in their hands or part of the arms. Charybdis Equivalent of a main battle tank like the Leman Russ/Rogal Dorm/predator/falcon/hammerhead/etc. Basically a giant crab like construct with a crab's pincer-claws, possibly with small infantry weapons extending from within them like the crab and king crab mechs from battletech. primarlly though it would have some kind of big canon or other main weapon mounted on its back, anything from a biological missile launcher of differing kinds a biolaser gun or a bioplasma mortar for seiges . Spartoi Based on the greek myth (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHoqFR-LPPw&t=170s ) they Elite Humanoid infantry based off the primarchs, eldar, and the custodes, and fulfilling the same role of the third, with bio-armor over human-ish like bodies. They could wield swords based on the norn emissary's blade called 'dragons teeth', based on the myth. These could even become fully sentient, probably after being used as empty vessels first Sphinx A modified Neiman with khrave bone horns and eldar genetics that are used a psychic conductor. They have wings that can be used to glide (needs psychic assistance) or as weapons as both blades and to fire its bio-metallic-crystal 'feathers'. Tarrasqe 'Small' titan sized monster, much larger lengthwise than in height. Largely tortoise like, having a shell, with 6 limbs and a large destructive tail (like the original french myth, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T4sVmnfz9Wk ). The shell contains a small command room and gun turrets that can emerge from and retract into the shell. Erymanthian. Large quadruped covered in spikes designed to charge straight at its foes, a living battering ram. Hecatoncheires Dreadnought or knight (cant decide) sized multi armed humanoid creatures designed to draw fire and take it. Incorporates the Lion and Fulgrims DNA, with a mix of melee claws/swords and heavy ranged (bioplasma and biolasers) [side note, I like Bio-lux as a name for the laser weapons, probably as an imperial designation for the weapons that echidna retroactively gives to her biological lasers] Kludde/amarok A canine like beast built for scouting and ambushing small units, like enemy scouts, and is designed to shapeshift to disguise itself as a local dog or wolf equivalent-or even look like. Sleipnir large bio constructs with an internal transport compartment that's very fast for its relative size and weight, designed as an APC with legs and is the equivalent of a chimera/rhino/taurox/land raider/impusor/spartan/ect, and has limited weapons. Also here is more of a concept/concepts than a solid Idea. Biodreads/Biomechs Bio dread would be person wearing a biopower armour the size of a dreadnought or knight. They could have a monsterous head that snarls ect to make them more fearsome but would be piloted from within thier body. You could think of then as bein a hulkbuster made from flesh, a with arm mounted anti infantry and anti armour weapons as well as clawed hands A bio mech would be different It would be a knight, warsuit or battlesuit like mech, with primarily mechanical parts including its weapons, which would probably be based on t'au pulse, imperial las, or a combination their very simmilar melta and fusion weapons. However, Biotech would be used to create a musculature that could support and move it, like biological version of myomer from battletech, as well as for the neural interface and nerves that would relay from that to the muscles and mechanical systems. If you have any thoughts positive or negative I would love to hear them
JOHNNYBOY 117
How dare this heathen reject our glorious empress' mercy oh well he can't even regret in his next reincarnation now can he. And once all these eclesiarchy members and believers realize that the emperor really doesn't give a shit about their prayers or saving them then that is the day the imperium will fall.
Dreamcatcher Ben
is it possible for echidna to use tyranid bioplasma to make biological nuclear fusion/plasma generator, it would letter her make some pretty potent cyborg constructs (biodrones using mechanical weapons)
Dreamcatcher Ben
Echidna could use her bio-electric genetic samples she used for generator to make an electric weapon. An electric weapon would mess with mechanical systems, particularly those of admech forces. This would be a pretty good counter to the mechanicus, as well as how it would be a very echidna thing to mirror some of the admech's own weapons hard count biology, in particular the radium weapons. https://wh40k.lexicanum.com/wiki/Radium_Weapon
Dreamcatcher Ben
question: do echidnas ships (just in terms of their general shape, not details) look like the ones of the Scourge from dropzone/dropfleet commander but white and with different details This is what I'm talking about, by the way: https://ttcombat.com/collections/dropfleet-commander/faction_Scourge
Tesiel
During her studies to move Selene soul in her Soul pond Echidna already destroyed a cultist body and then revived him after creating a substitute body. She already can do it, but she doesn't want worshippers/fanatics within her ranks (Fae is already enough in her opinion). Still the general sounded like one of the more competent humans she could have integrated within her circle and a potential governor for one of her new systems
Tesiel
"Maybe I could get some laughs out of it." This is terrifying knowing who thought it and what's about. New nightmare inducing creature to unleash against the empire in the making, isn't it?
Dragon's Flame
Honestly think I’m more… disappointed than anything. Erichina missed the ball on that. Converting a bunch of imperial souls into followers of hers is arguably a *great* idea. Because if she figures out how to tether souls to new bodies (like the ancient Eldar could do with their own bodies) suddenly she has a functionally immortal army of loyalists... Who can all think and improvise for themselves and have seen some of the bloodiest battles in the setting (assuming they’re guardsmen and she picks well).
