heatherbeck
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Five Year Anniversary
🕑 Added 2019-10-31 18:03:16 +0000 UTCIn the last couple of days, it slammed into me like a sack of bricks. I just lost track of time, and forgot the context.
Those of you who have been kind enough to read through all my of drivel, all the way back to post No. 1 here on the Patreon, have a pretty okay idea of how I ceased to be nNormal Everyday Heather, and instead, because Heather With The Boobs. If not, no worries, and no rush. In short? It was a one-night fling with a really nice, thoroughly decent acquaintance. I got knocked up briefly, had a miscarriage (it’s ok, don’t work about it), and in the mix, my hormones went absolutely batshit insane. Boobs, more boobs, and more boobs. As, I’ve at least tried my best, to explain here in one way or another.
But in talking with Just Alex the other day (the fella who did the super-meta drawing at the top of this post), it sunk in. That one-night stand? That was after a Halloween party. In 2014. It’s been five years.
If you’ve read a chunk of my stuff, you’ll know how this weird metamorphosis has affected me, and what the process has been like to overcome it, adapt, move on, actually enjoy life again. But anniversaries are strange things… something as simple as the passage around one’s native star encourages one to reflect, digest, take stock.
In this conversation the other night, Just Alex was showing me all sorts of illustrations he’d done over the years (stuff that I think a great many of you would give a solid thumbs up to). Some of it is large breast-oriented, but some of it heads outside of the box. I won’t get into specifics, but maybe later.
Thing is… five years ago, during that one-night stand. I had no idea what life as a non-normal-boobed person was like. I was just a 30-year-old woman with bills, a job, friends, a favorite place where I hit up brunch, a bar down the street, normal shit.
If you would have been some boyfriend who I brought back to my place in those days, and you would have confessed an obsession for large breasts? I would have said… “Uhm… Alright. Whatever.” If you and I would have hung out for a little while, and you would have said, “You know what? I have this obsession with this niche fetish called ‘breast expansion, it’s on the internet, look it up,’” I would have cocked my eyebrows, and said… “Uhhhh… Huh. Alright.” And then, we would have hung out for the night, and I would have reflected, and I, in all honesty, probably wouldn’t have picked up the phone the next time you called.
Then, life changed. I became one of these BE stories in real life (I did a post a little while back, some of you might recall, about how I dived into these pieces of fiction when I found myself at a loss for any useful info on Google, mid-growth). And I HATED it, for a while.
But then, I slowly started to adapt, especially in the last couple of years, and finally, I started to embrace it.
As I told Just Alex the other night, when he was sharing some pretty crazy pictures: Five years ago, I would have been pretty taken aback, and not in a good way, at the types of images he’s shown me. But, I’ve grown (in more ways than one!) I’ve adapted.
As my chest has gotten broader, so has my mind.
It doesn’t happen instantly. It takes interactions, conversations, people who are cool who say, “this is why I like this, and that’s (duh) why we started talking, but now that we are talking, I see beyond the boobs.” And that’s refreshing all by itself. As I’ve said before, I know more than anyone that I have big boobs (“Do you know how big your boobs are?!” “Yes.”)
But it tweaks the chemistry. In adapting to this, five years since the inception, I’ve become a different person than I would have been were it not for that one-night stand. Not just as far as tits are concerned. But worldview. Outlook. Empathy, understanding, and general chill has become so much more important to me than it was before, and it’s taken on a different context. As I’ve built more walls, others have (and I only realized this tremendously recently) come tumbling down like Jericho.
And so, with an open mind, when I look at Just Alex’s illustrations, I can almost chuckle at how odd it is that I actually dig them, especially when I compare present-day Heather to the heather of a half-decade ago. And then, that makes me chuckle even more at how funny it is that the Heather of five years ago would have ghosted a person with a giant boob fetish; while the Heather of today spends her time actually writing stories about the exact same topic.
We all grow. We all change. We can all look back on ourselves five years ago and say, “Shit… isn’t it weird that I used to think that?” Hindsight is 20/20. So as easy as it is to do that, it’s just as hard to look forward five years and say, “Thats the person I’m gonna be, that insanity will be a part of me.
So first, Happy Halloween. A night for altered perspectives, if nothing else.
And second… think about who you were five years ago tonight. Who were you, where did you live, what did you think? Did you think you would be sitting where you are, right now?
Then, time capsule yourself and predict where you might be in five more years. On a 10-scale, how sure are you of how much that’ll come true?
Isn’t it fun that life is unpredictable? And that, even if you hate it at the time, you can look back on the lower manifestations of unpredictability and say… “Shit. This is how I got here.”
That can’t be all bad. Might as well take the most terrifying night of the year to think about this stuff.
(And yes. Regarding the picture up top… this might be a startlingly accurate representation of how I spend a decent portion of my phone time… you would too, don't deny it. :-P)
Comments
John
Your introspection is always interesting to read. There's just as much off the page as there is written right here. I hope your Halloween went well.
Stephen Prandy
Good im just glad you're okay I haven't heard from you in awhile
