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2020 Sucked Butt, Let's Make A Movie
🕑 Added 2021-01-05 08:45:22 +0000 UTC
Friends...2020 was rough on a lot of us. It also kept Small Beans from producing a whole slate of video content we'd hoped would be achievable without risking life and lung but proved otherwise. And, pining away in our little pods, we dreamed of more...of finally becoming the Big Beans we know we can be. It's time, y'all. It's time to try to make another movie.
As you may know, we've done this once before. Since then, eight or nine years have elapsed, and we've spent that entire time asking for permission from an industry that doesn't give a toss about us. Those requests were fired off in the form of scripts and pitches that went unread, got rejected, were stolen without pay or credit, or got called "too gay" (true story!).
So fudge all that noise. We want to spend our limited time on this plane of existence making movies, so we're going to FUDGING MAKE ONE. It's going to take FIVE WHOLE YEARS, it's going to involve ALL OF YOU, and it's going to be CHEAP TO PRODUCE.
As we begin to concentrate more of our Patreon funds toward this goal, you'll also see more and more posts and Beanus Content Modules related to our ongoing effort to produce a second feature. These will include writing streams, polls, feedback sessions, pitches/outlines/drafts, even special podcast series available to Patrons only chronicling the process. Hope you're excited, because we super are!
In this initial announcement post, all we want to really do is let you know our SHORT LIST of movie ideas. We've talked for months and considered over a dozen shoot-able ideas, but landed on these five as the most likely culprits.
That's where YOU COME IN. Kindly peruse the following elevator pitches and let us know which ones seem most/least compelling! Which would you like to see the Bean Team tackle? Which do you think we have no business around? Remember, we're all about to collaborate on this story for years to come in the hopes of making something that will some day please you, so your feedback is much appreciated.
In the end, this is not a poll: we'll pick which movie we make. But we want to involve our fans as much as possible from square one, so this is that. Thoughts?
ELEVATOR PITCHES BEGIN!
BURN - A woman raised in a strict Christian household explores broader horizons on her first trip to Burning Man, the desert art-and-music-and-fire-and-sex-and-drugs festival that attracts 60,000 “burners” a year. But is it just Christian guilt that makes her suspect the band of leather-clad weirdos in the tent across the way might be literal vampires? Or is something truly Hellish waiting in her future? Horror. Compare to: Black Mirror, Get Out.
CHIAROSCURO - A young painter, infatuated with an old master who has disappeared from public life entirely, begins to secretly follow his assistant. The young painter suspects that something sinister is occurring in the master’s reclusive home in the woods, and when she finds out his cynical secret, she’s forced to question her own ethical principles and the purpose of art itself. Drama/Thriller. Compare to: Big Eyes, Kiss Kiss Bang Bang.
DEADER HALF - The lone Buddhist monk caretaker of a remote mountain monastery strives only to tend to his duties in silence and clear his mind of thought through meditation. This simple quest is interrupted when a mysterious stranger intrudes and makes themselves at home, shattering the solitude. A series of philosophical debates ensue, with the stranger methodically dismantling the monk’s most cherished beliefs. While he struggles to defend himself from the stranger’s rhetoric, the monk notices the intruder slowly changing their features to resemble a doppelganger of themselves. It’s only too late that the monk realizes what has happened: he’s been infected with a zombie-like virus, and the stranger is a manifestation of his brain losing ground to it. Soon his mind will indeed be blank, but will he reach nirvana, or simply die alone? A meditation on meditation, with a horrifying twist. Compare to: The Lighthouse, Mother!.
THE FURRY MOVIE - A young man must come to grips not only with his own burgeoning sexual identity, but also the myriad complex sexual identities he encounters “out in the jungle” after his dad comes out as a gay furry, completely rocking his social life. For the record...Furry (N.) - an enthusiast for animal characters with human characteristics, in particular a person who dresses up in costume as such a character or uses one as an avatar online, usually for sexual gratification. Coming of age has never been so hairy. Family dramedy, inspired by true events. Compare to: Freaks and Geeks, Booksmart.
HANDS-ON - A young woman, being raised in a cult-like fashion by her abusive aunt D, is forced to rebuild reality when her deepest-held belief -- that she will one day marry a member of the band Hanson and sire the Second Coming of Christ -- comes into conflict with what she experiences in her first year at High School. Dark comedy, inspired by true events. Compare to: The Act, Martha Marcy May Marlene.
Oh, and in case you were worried...podcasts will continue unabated. <3
Comments
Jeremy
I find Deader Half most compelling (The Furry Movie and Hands On seem pretty good too) but I suspect this will work best if you do whatever you find most compelling. Bon Voyage!
Krissy
I’m definitely here for Hands On. I read The Furry Movie script in its entirety and be down to see how you guys would put that on the (big?) screen.
Harry Moore
I am excited to see this, I think part of the reason I didn't feel that Scott Bugg bit is it SUPER needed to be a visual video thing, even if played straight. I think there were subtle ques my brain was looking for t here that it didn't hit. I am so happy yall are pursuing. I am so overjoyed you guys are spreading your creative wings. The Furry movie doesn't really appeal, but all else sound rad. Either way, I'm down to support.
Seonaidh Young
The Furry Movie sounds genuinely excellent. I'll confess: I'm not very into horror movies at the moment. It seems like the only movies with meaning that are coming out lately are horror. There are obvious and good reasons for that, but, personally, I'm ready to move from "recognizing the absurd horror of the world" to "finding the hope, meaning, and joy anyway". The Furry Movie sounds like the option most likely to go in that direction. Plus, I think it would be gratifying to see the collision of established, "normal, offline" reality with a new & insistent, "freaky internet" reality (like furry culture) explored by genuine internet freaks.
Kyle
I enjoyed the script for Burn you shared and would appreciate seeing the final film version, but Chiaroscuro definitely caught my interest from this list.
BWJhimself
Deader Half is the one I most want to watch, but The Furry Movie feels like the one y’all HAVE to make. That said, I’d watch the hell out of any of these.
Van Veen
would love to see any of these but Deader Half sounds best. But then again my favourite movie is Synecdoche, which made less than 1/4 of its budget back, so...
AaronBurrSir
I feel like CHIAROSCURO could even get some Mandy vibes done correctly, that seems to be the most "grown up" idea in here that could have mass appeal and possibly cult following aspects. After that, Burn and The Furry movie could do pretty well! Regardless, I'm glad to hear you folks are planning for a movie again! I can't wait for what the future will hold!
Steven Welcome
I'd like to see Deader Half, Burn and Hands-On in that order! By the way, for what it's worth I am SO PROUD OF YOU BEANS. You guys put out so much quality content for the amount you have going on in your lives and now you're making a movie?! So inspiring, keep up the great work :)
Cooper
CHIAROSCURO or Deader Half sound like a movie that I would love to specifically see the Bean Team make. All of the ideas are bangers, though.
Zach Lay
In order of interest: 1) Deader Half 2) Furry Movie 3) Chiaroscuro All three seem fascinating in their own right.
Hank McAnallen
hands-on and burn are the two that strike the right balance of funny scary weird for me and of the two I think burn sounds like you can go a lot of fun places with and plus you get to shoot a burn
Just John
Burn. Burning Man is already pretty nightmarish. You could make it true to life and it would be scary. https://www.salon.com/2019/08/20/one-year-ago-burning-mans-sex-assault-and-labor-issues-were-exposed-has-anything-changed/
William Jewell
Charioscuro and Deader Half sound great
Gary Oaks
Personally I like Deader Half the most, but I would also like to see the Furry Movie. Burn could be good depending on how the vampire element is done, which is why I'm not putting it in the top. Hands On could be a real contender, it sounds pretty wild.
Caleb Townsend
The furry movie is gold dude, 10/10 script, I’d love to see life breathed into it
Frankie Currie
Deader Half sounds like a potentially very interesting concept but I think Burn has much stronger commercial legs to stand on. Indie horror has become a much more respectable field in the last few years and probably has more chance of attracting an audience than a meditation on meditation which personally I think would work very well as a 30-40 minute short.
JessicaM
Burn, Hands on, and the furry movie are top 3 in that order. The other two also sound awesome but more like something i'd wait to see on streaming rather than something i'd go out to a theater to see (if that metric makes sense)
Michael 'Shine on You crazy Diamonds!' Hudson
Intellectually, DEADER HALF is the one that sounds like the most exciting to tackle. However, I'm not sure how to make it visually interesting. The brilliant thing about something like The Matrix was that it brought forth a lot of interesting philosophical discussions dressed up as a big shoot-em up film. If there's a way to do that here, this would be my top pick. BURN sounds like it could do the similar things philosophically... but more entertaining since its wrapped up in a horror slasher movie.
Cody Franks
Michael, you have been teasing us with this Furry movie for years! I have heard other Beans and legume-adjacent creators rave about the script. Please let the leash off this one and let it run out of the “maybe” kennel and into our hearts.
Patrick Tillett
Deader Half, all the way! I also really like Furry Movie
Charles Schultz
My top three are Deader Half, Burn, and the Furry Movie. Deader Half seems so interesting to me. It's the pitch that most excites me. I'm not sure how someone would make a movie out of it, but if you can pull it off **Chef's Kiss** Burn sounds super fun. Really seems like I would love to see today. And I think the Furry Movie could be a really touching film. Get to explore Furry culture and destigmatize it a bit. Any one that you guys choose would be great! I have faith in y'all. Super excited to be on the ground floor
John Krane
I have wanted to see The Furry Movie since Swaim mentioned it casually in some pod. I think "Fur" might be a better name.
Tommy Mathis
I think the strongest two are BURN and HANDS-ON. The concept of DEADER HALF sounds really interesting to me, but it's hard for me to imagine it being anything but a series of philosophical conversations - what happens beyond just talking? I'm sure you have ideas, but from the pitch alone I'm not really grabbed. CHIAROSCURO sounds really cool, too, and I love a good investigation into the purpose of art itself. Sounds heady like DEADER HALF but I can see the path to making it symbolically heady through the plot and characters as opposed to just wordy. Excited about this!
Abby Rain
Burn and the Furry Movie I can see in my head the clearest. Burn could be really interesting with elements of Mandy and Color Out of Space.
Cecelia
As an artist CHIAROSCURO hands down! I do not think their are enough movies about painters these days and would be nice to see what you do with it, especially when compared to Big Eyes!
Matthew Clark
Deader Half sounds the most interesting to me, largely because I could see the potential for offbeat/dark comedy themes against the psychological thriller backdrop. It seems more adaptable and unique to me, but honestly I think you guys will bring something unique to any of the pitches.
Patrick Sullivan
Chiaroscuro and Hands-On are the ones that appeal most to me.
Scottie Wottie
Chiaroscuro sounds like it could be evocative, tense, and thought-provoking.
minefreak555
Deader Half best Hands- on worst
Liam Thompson
Deader Half is the one that grabs me most off the elevator pitch.
Norm From Cheers
Burn sounds really cool, but would probably be a nightmare to produce. Desert shoots, as y'all know, are a nightmare, and I don' t know if you could shoot at Burning Man because of their concerns about other's privacy and their desire to decommodify life. If you had to recreate Burning Man, it probably wouldn't be worth it. Chiaroscuro sounds like it might be a Pickman's Model-style story, which I would be very into, but that's probably not the direction you're envisioning.
John Ford
I think Chiaroscruro is a great idea. I'd love to see you all do something with a sense of humor, so Burn looks like it could be a good fit and sounds like cult classic material. Not so hot on Deader Half because the religious elements sound like a very challenging thing to get right and might have trouble resonating with an audience, but if you're confident you can go for it.
Erik Pohanka
I'm most interested in Chiaroscuro and see what might come of the cynicism. Perhaps it's a commentary on hyper-capitalism, perhaps it's nihilism, who knows, but I'm intrigued. Runner up is Hands-On. But honestly, I'd watch all of these!
talmi
I agree with many on here that I would watch any of these, but I think the most intriguing ideas are DEADER HALF and HANDS-ON. Least one probably BURN
John Baber-Lucero
Chiaroscuro. A thriller's your best chance to write/direct something very tight -- which I expect you beans will be good at.
Matt Hawkins
Deader Half!
Danny Laurence
While truthfully I'd see any of these movies - the two that jump out as things I'd go out of my way to see are Chiaroscuro and The Furry Movie. I love meditations on art, so Chiaroscuro sounds right up my ally. The Furry Movie just sounds like a fun romp for a community that needs good representation, which I know you all will nail.
Robert Sealand
Burn and Deader Half piqued my interest the most.
David Astika
Maybe it's just the timing, but implying through Persona 5 right now, and one of the Big Bads is an artist who is stealing the work of more talented people, so I'm here for villainous artists. And Deader Half sounds like something I could really sink my brain into
Verbose Minimalist
Deader Half and Chiaroscuro sound the most intriguing to me. But really all of these are great pitches. Looking forward to being a tiny part of this process! ❤
Mat Brady
Burn and Deader Half seem like the ones I’d go see. Burn has potential as a fun, debauched, ‘From Dusk ‘Till Dawn’ style bloodfest. Deader Half seems like it could go the opposite direction with quiet, somber horror and brooding drama. Punny title non withstanding. Would it be foreign language for authenticity?
david haley
I like the sound of Chiaroscuro and Furry Movie.
Rebel Girl
THE FURRY MOVIE and HANDS-ON but as a single narrative. Bump the age up to 18. Make the girl from HANDS-ON a furry. Offers a more cathartic ending and something to stand in tension with the cult and an equally odd but very positive community to join as a counterpoint to her abusive upbringing. It also puts her imposed romantic feelings in tension with her unacceptable sexual desires. Her want is to please her community. Her need is acceptance from a community. Plus it would be a movie about a queer women, of which there are 7 and only 3 are any good.
Zac Schwartz
'Burn' is a fucking incredible idea for a movie that also seems like a great way to do high quality on the cheap. These are all great ideas, but if I had a vote, I'd put it toward that one.
Chelsea Mullen
The Furry Movie please. It’s the one that I wouldn’t trust to anyone but Small Beans to make.
Stephen The Lessr
Deader half for sure!
Bryan Reich
"deader half" sounds awesome
Darren Hanratty
Furry movie!!
sarah sexton
deader half. but also hands-on. love you boss beans!
