SmallBeans patreon

801. Tales from the Pit: The Weight is a Gift (Feat. Anny and John)

🕑 Added 2024-12-02 14:00:17 +0000 UTC

Comments

Rachael Perry

Thank you both for sharing your experiences! Thank you, Swaim for creating a safe place for such a difficult topic matter. We still have shitty women’s healthcare here in the US. My first miscarriage was extremely painful and bloody, and even though my PCP was also my OB/GYN, she made me schedule an appointment that was a month out because she “wouldn’t squeeze me in if I wasn’t sure what was happening,” and when I called the Capitol Women’s Care facility in my town, they got me in a few days later, but because I didn’t have an established care physician there, they couldn’t call it anything specific. Urgent Care and the ER turned me away. I called CWC back and the same nurse I had spoken to previously was, thankfully, who got me again this time and she talked me through some care steps to take, including taking multiple pregnancy tests to have a visual example of the hormone leaving my body (ie. the lines get lighter every time you take it), and by the time I came in for the appointment, she had switched shifts with someone to be there so I had someone familiar to talk to. So incredibly grateful for her. I was only 5 weeks for that one. In a new state entirely, but with the same partner, I got pregnant on my wedding night and didn’t find out I had lost that baby until I went in for my ten week appointment. I lost it at seven weeks, so I got to also deal with all of the legal steps while also knowing that I carried a deceased life inside me for three weeks, pretty much unknowingly (I also had dreams about loss, lots of them had snakes, and one had a Medusa type creature theme). Even knowing I had lost the baby three weeks prior, they still made me try to let my body handle it before giving me the medication and then continued to wait for two more rounds before scheduling a D&C surgery. Super upsetting. This was all happening the summer of the first Covid lockdown, so there was a lot of it my partner was not allowed to be present for. Against my better judgement, I asked my narcissistic mother to come take care of me and ended up taking care of her, and wished we had just let my MIL come, but that’s a whole different story. Two months later, I was pregnant again and still reeling from grief that still hits me from time to time. I had lots of dreams with my firstborn child that indicated that the lost baby was taking care of her. That’s a really cool story with a wild end, if anyone ever wants to hear it, but yes, miscarriage blows, and women’s health is a shitshow.

Kelsey Grammar Ghost

Is it MS Word? Or MS W-backwards e-rd

Rodney Smith

My wife and I had three miscarriages before we went the adoption route (He is 6 now so it has been a while). I had to stop listening to this because I realized I have a lot of things I never worked through that came bubbling up. I plan on coming back to this episode at a later time when I've had some time to work on those things. I love the tales from the Pit episodes, and how deep and emotional they can get.

Ellen Swaim

I’m so sorry, Anny and John. I’m really proud of you for your life journey, Anny. As always, I’m impressed with John’s insights and I’m happy to “meet” you, Anny. You two are great together. I have high hopes for your happiness. Thank you for hosting this, Michael. It is profound. (And don’t get me started on bad doctors.)