SerProcrastinate
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Chapter Thirty-Five (TIBK)
🕑 Added 2025-07-29 12:19:51 +0000 UTCThe reek hit Eirik as he descended the familiar, uneven stone steps into the warren beneath the tavern.
Eirik didn’t bother knocking. He pushed the door open, the hinges groaning. Fisk spun, eyes wide with surprise, then immediately shifted into his manic merchant persona.
“Commander! Frost’s frozen balls, you startled me! Back so soon? Need more Frostfire? Batch number three is simmering! Quality control requires patience! Or…” He waggled his eyebrows. “…a rush fee?”
Eirik stepped inside, closing the door firmly behind him. The cramped space felt even more oppressive than usual. He surveyed the chaos – precariously stacked jars, stained parchment scrawled with formulas, pigeon feathers drifting in a draft. Fisk’s kingdom. Or his prison.
“We leave at first light, Fisk,” Eirik stated, his voice flat, cutting through Fisk’s chatter. “The Talons march north. You’re coming with us.”
Silence. The bubbling in the beaker suddenly seemed very loud.
Fisk’s grin froze, then slowly slid off his face like grease. “Leave? With you? North? To… where? Savage tribes? Trolls?” He let out a high-pitched, nervous giggle. “Commander, my noble friend! Jests! Always with the jests! Uncle Fisk is a humble purveyor of potions! My workshop… my birds… my delicate experiments! They require stability! Tenderness! Not… trolls and marching!” He spread his hands helplessly, gesturing at the cramped, reeking chaos. “This is home!”
Eirik took a deliberate step closer. Fisk instinctively flinched back, bumping into his workbench, rattling glassware.
“Home?” Eirik’s voice dropped. “How long do you think this ‘home’ lasts, Fisk, once I’m gone?”
Fisk blinked. “Gone? You mean… you leaving? Well! Business as usual! Fisk’s Fine Philtres endures! Discreet solutions—”
“—For discreet customers who suddenly become very indiscreet,” Eirik interrupted. He leaned forward slightly, making the small flame under the beaker flicker. “Let’s be frank. Earl Borin saw the Frostfire demonstration. He wants them. Badly. For his Skarl problem. How long before he sends men down here? Men who won’t politely ask for ‘Fisk’s Fine Frostfire’. They’ll take the recipe. They’ll take you. To a dark cell under Ironhelm Keep.”
Fisk’s face paled beneath the grime. “Borin? But… but the secrecy! Our arrangement!”
“Our arrangement ends the moment my protection vanishes,” Eirik stated ruthlessly. “You think Cedric’s guards care who skulks in the underbelly? Or that Ingrid Stormcrow wouldn’t pay handsomely for the alchemist who aided her disgraced stepson? Silence you permanently? Or worse, sell you to the highest bidder?”
He let the images sink in. “You’re a walking recipe book, Fisk. A valuable, vulnerable asset. And I’m the shield between you and everyone who wants what’s in your head.”
He saw the fear flicker deep in Fisk’s eyes cutting through the manic facade.
Good. He’s recognizing the threat.
“But…” Fisk stammered, clutching at straws. “The flasks! Only you can make the ice flasks! They need you too!”
“They need the idea,” Eirik countered sharply. “They need the fuel blend. They need the alchemist who can replicate it. The ice? That’s a hurdle. They’ll find a way. Clay pots? Reinforced leather sacks? Crude, messy, dangerous… but they’ll try. And while they experiment, they’ll have you locked up, working until your hands blister and your mind breaks, churning out your ‘signature blend’ for their war machine. Is that the future you want? Tending pigeons in a cell?”
Fisk visibly shuddered. He looked around his workshop again, but now with dawning horror, seeing not comfort, but the trap it was. His shoulders slumped slightly. “So… no choice? Follow the Commander or become Borin’s lab rat?”
“Choice?” Eirik allowed a cold smile to touch his lips. “I’m offering more than escape, Fisk. I’m offering partnership. True partnership. You think Frostfire is impressive? That’s a child’s sparkler compared to what else I know.” He tapped his temple. “Knowledge from… elsewhere. Places where alchemy is a science, not just potions and prayers.”
Fisk’s eyes snapped back to his, curiosity momentarily overriding fear. “Elsewhere? Science?”
Eirik pressed the advantage. He picked up a lump of dirty saltpeter from Fisk’s bench. “This. Combined with charcoal and sulfur. Finely ground. Encased properly. Ignited rapidly.” He looked Fisk dead in the eye. “Imagine a blast that doesn’t just burn, Fisk. It shatters. Stone walls. Armored gates. Whole squads of men, vanished in smoke and thunder.”
Fisk’s jaw dropped. He stared at the saltpeter as if seeing it for the first time. “S-shatters? Thunder? Like… dwarven blasting powder? But controlled?”
“More powerful. More reliable,” Eirik affirmed. He gestured vaguely. “Liquids that freeze flesh solid on contact. Powders that choke entire battalions far worse than your Cloud. Devices that spit fire continuously, like a dragon’s breath. Healing salves that knit wounds in days, not weeks.” Lay it on thick. “This is just the beginning, Fisk. The rudiments. And you? You have the talent. The instinct. The… practical genius.”
He paused, letting the flattery sink in. “Stuck down here, you’re a talented rat. With me? You become indispensable. Master Alchemist to the Talons. Architect of destruction. Purveyor of miracles. Your name won’t be whispered in back alleys, Fisk. It will be feared across the Northern Reaches. And the wealth?” Eirik let his smile widen. “Forget talons. Think chests of gold. Think estates. Think a workshop bigger than this tavern, stocked with everything you ever dreamed of… funded by terrified kings and grateful lords paying top coin for your inventions.”
He saw it happening. The fear was still there, but now warring with a fierce, greedy excitement. Fisk’s eyes were wide, gleaming with avarice and the dawning horror of being left behind. He’s picturing it. The wealth, the prestige, the power. The chance to play with bigger, more dangerous toys.
“Indispensable?” Fisk whispered, his voice thick with longing. “Master Alchemist?”
“You’re the only one who can bridge the gap between my knowledge and reality,” Eirik stated flatly. “Without you, Frostfire is just a nasty trick. With you? We create legends. And legends pay exceptionally well.” He gestured around the dingy room. “Is this… this… worth clinging to? When I’m offering you the keys to a kingdom built on fire and ice? Or do you want to wait for Borin’s men to kick down your door?”
Fisk looked frantically around his beloved, filthy workshop. At the cooing pigeons. At the bubbling, potentially unstable brew. The fear of Ironhelm’s dungeons warred violently with the intoxicating vision Eirik painted. Gold. Fear. Power. A legacy beyond pigeon shit and stinkbombs.
He swallowed hard, his throat working. “My… my birds?” he asked weakly, a last grasp at his old life.
“Bring them,” Eirik said, a flicker of ruthless pragmatism in his eyes. “They might be useful. Early warning.” Or target practice if they annoy Olaf. “But decide now. Pack only what’s essential. Your tools. Your most precious ingredients. Notes. We leave before dawn. Yorick will bring crates. The wagon can handle it.”
He turned towards the door, the unspoken ultimatum hanging heavy in the chemical-laden air. “Be ready, Master Alchemist. Or stay here, and see who knocks next.”
"W-Wait!"
Fisk voice cracked. He waved his arms wildly. "Look! My life's work! The pigeons! They need me! Their digestive rhythms are crucial for catalysts! And the notes! Years of research scribbled on walls, on floorboards! I can't just grab a satchel and go! It's impossible!"
He clutched his head, staggering back until he bumped a tower of empty clay jars. They wobbled threateningly. "Borin? Ingrid? Fine! Terrifying! But packing in hours? Are you mad? I need time! Weeks! To organize, to crate, to stabilize volatile extracts! One jolt, one warm patch, and BOOM! Goodbye Fisk, goodbye wagon, goodbye Commander's eyebrows!"
Eirik watched the alchemist unravel.
"Fisk," Eirik cut through the babble, his voice flat and cold. "Look at me."
Fisk flinched, his darting eyes locking onto Eirik's steely gaze. The unblinking intensity forced stillness upon him.
"You are right," Eirik stated, surprising him. "It is chaos. Moving a workshop overnight? Insane." He gestured dismissively around the cramped space. "But this? This isn't a workshop worthy of the Master Alchemist I need. It's a hovel. A dangerous hovel."
Fisk blinked. "W-worthy?"
"Yes," Eirik pressed, leaning in. "Think, Fisk. You believe staying is safe? Let me paint reality. Borin's men won't ask politely for Frostfire recipes. They'll kick in this door. They won't care about digestive rhythms. They'll see unstable mixtures, strange smells, and a twitchy little man who screams 'guilty secret'. They'll drag you out. Dump your precious jars wherever they land. Your notes? Tinder for their campfire. Your pigeons? Stew."
He saw genuine horror flicker in Fisk's eyes at the thought of his birds in a pot.
"Your life's work, Fisk, ends here. Smashed, scattered, forgotten. Because you clung to rubble."
He let that sink in. "Now," Eirik's voice shifted, becoming less harsh. "I'm not asking you to abandon it. I'm offering you a chance to save it. To build something better. Out there."
He pointed towards the ceiling, towards the world above. "The Talons have a heavy wagon. Reinforced. Yorick is gathering sturdy crates right now. Pack your essentials: tools, irreplaceable catalysts – carefully secured. Your most vital notes. We have saltpeter. Sulfur. Charcoal. The core ingredients. We have the means to pack them safely. Cold isn't a problem; we are masters of cold."
Fisk's eyes darted to his bubbling pots, to the stained parchment. Hope warred with terror. "But the birds! Commander! My early-warning system! My friends!"
"Bring them," Eirik stated. Sentiment is weakness, but practical use? That I can justify. "We'll cage them securely. They serve a purpose. But understand: What you leave behind is forfeit. Ingrid or Borin's men will ransack this place. But what you bring becomes the seed of your new workshop. A mobile workshop."
"Think, Fisk! A dedicated space on campaign! Protected by the Talons! Your experiments not confined to a cellar, but tested in the field! Your genius applied to real problems, with immediate feedback!"
He saw the spark.
"The saltpeter mixtures? The frozen-flesh liquids? The dragon-breath devices? They aren't fantasies for later. They are possibilities for now. But only if you are there. Only if you have the materials, the space, and the protection to work. Staying here consigns your 'genius' to a dungeon or a grave. Coming with me makes you Master Alchemist Fisk, architect of victory, swimming in gold and fear. Choose. But choose now."
Eirik turned decisively towards the door. "Yorick arrives with crates in ten minutes. Pack what you can save. Prioritize. Tools. Catalysts. Notes. Birds. Anything else slows us down and risks your new beginning. Decide if you want to be a footnote in Stormkeep's gutters or a legend forged in Frostfire."
He pulled the door open and simply stepped halfway out. "One hour, Fisk. Your future starts now. Or ends here." He paused, leaving the door ajar, a silent ticking clock and a path to salvation hanging in the reeking air.
Fisk stood frozen for three heartbeats that felt like an eternity. The Commander's words echoed, clashing with the terror of leaving his nest. Borin's dungeon. Ingrid's quiet knife. His pigeons… stew. The image of his notes feeding a soldier's campfire made bile rise in his throat.
Then the other image surged: Gold. Fear. A mobile fortress-laboratory. Saltpeter mixtures that shatter stone. His hands twitched. One hour.
"AAAAARGH!"
He let out a half-scream, half-warcry. Then, he exploded into motion.
"Tools! My babies!" He lunged for a heavy leather roll near his main bench, unfurling it to reveal meticulously maintained glassware, metal tools, and small ceramic mortars. He scooped it up and dumped it into the sturdiest wooden crate he could find.
"Catalysts! The volatile ones! Frostbite lilies!" He scrambled towards a shelf lined with peculiar jars sealed with wax and leather. He grabbed two containing dark, viscous liquids and a third filled with shimmering blue crystals. He handled them with sudden care, wedging them tightly into the crate, cushioning them with scraps of sacking.
"Notes! The good ones!" His eyes darted frantically around the walls, floorboards, piles of parchment. He ripped down several large, annotated sheets – formulas for pressure containment, viscosity modifiers, combustion accelerants. He scooped up a thick, battered journal bound in greasy leather from under a pile of feathers. The Black Book. Core formulations. Irreplaceable. He shoved it deep into the crate.
He spun, looking at his bubbling beakers. One contained a near-complete batch of Frostfire fuel. "The batch! Can't leave it!" He grabbed thick leather gloves, snatched the beaker off its stand, cursing as the hot glass seared through the leather. He spotted a thick ceramic jug, emptied its contents onto the floor, and upended the bubbling fuel into it, slapping a wax-sealed stopper on top. Into the crate it went.
His eyes fell on the pigeons, cooing obliviously. "My darlings! Your doom approaches!" He scrambled towards their roost, a chaotic mess of nested boxes. He spotted a large wicker basket buried under burlap sacks. "Perfect! Mobile coop!" He dumped out the sacks, grabbed the startled birds – six of them – ignoring indignant coos and flapping wings, and shoved them into the basket. He tied the top shut with frantic haste. "Quiet now! Adventure awaits!"
He dragged the bird basket towards the crate. Ten minutes! Barely started! His gaze swept his domain: shelves of rare herbs, jars of powdered minerals, racks of unique extracts, his precious pressure cooker rig, the pigeon guano collector... All doomed. Left behind for Borin's thugs to smash or Ingrid's agents to plunder. A sob choked him.
But saltpeter that shatters stone...
He whimpered, then launched himself at a small chest bolted near his sleeping pallet. The Reserve. He fumbled with a complex lock, fingers trembling. Inside, nestled in padded compartments, were his absolute treasures: crystallized Manticore venom, a chunk of raw Starfall Iron, a sealed lead box containing Void Ash, and a small bag of flawless frost diamonds – his 'retirement fund'. He grabbed the chest itself, slamming the lid shut.
He staggered back to the main crate, sweating and gasping. He shoved the reserve chest inside. The crate was almost overflowing. The essence! The heart! His eyes landed on a large clay amphora in the darkest corner. The Mother Batch. Years old, constantly refined, the foundational suspension for half his best work. Too big! Too heavy! Despair threatened to drown him.
Thumping footsteps from the stairs froze him. More than one person.
Borin's men?! Already?! Terror seized him. He abandoned the amphora, scrambling back to his crate and bird basket like a cornered animal.
The door swung wider. Not Borin's brutes. Yorick the scribe followed by two burly Talons – Gorm and Knut. They carried sturdy wooden crates and coils of rope.
"Master Fisk?" Yorick called out, wrinkling his nose against the stench. "The Commander sent us. For your essentials?"
Relief flooded Fisk so intensely he nearly wept. Not Borin. Help. Crates!
"Yes! Essentials! Save what we can! Hurry!" Fisk babbled, pointing frantically. "That crate! Full! Seal it tight! The birds! Carefully! And THAT!" He pointed at his main distillation apparatus. "Dismantle! Carefully! The copper coils! The condenser! All of it! Pack it! Pad it! It's vital!"
Gorm and Knut exchanged a dubious look. The apparatus looked complex and fragile.
Yorick sighed, pulling out his ledger. "Inventory. One crate, contents unknown, sealed. One bird container. One alchemical apparatus, to be dismantled." He started scribbling. "Commander said essentials, Master Fisk. We move at first light. Dawn is in three hours."
"These are essentials!" Fisk shrieked. "Vital apparatus! The beating heart of future innovations! Without it, genius is shackled! Now HURRY!"
He danced around the Talons as they cautiously approached the still-bubbling equipment, babbling instructions that sounded more like alchemical incantations.
Eirik oversaw the final loading. The heavy wagon, already laden with crates of rations, bundled gambesons, and rolls of tarpaulin, now bore extra cargo. Fisk's overflowing crate, lashed down securely. The large wicker bird basket, covered with heavy cloth to quiet the indignant cooing. Several smaller crates containing the dismantled pieces of Fisk's distillation rig.
And Fisk himself, perched on the wagon bench while clutching his small reserve chest like a baby, his eyes wide and scanning the shadowed battlements as if expecting crossbow bolts.
It's done. Barely. Eirik felt a small triumph. Fisk was a powder keg on wheels, but he was their powder keg now. The potential outweighed the risk. Barely.
Leif approached, his breath misting. He glanced at the wagon and its new occupants. "The last perimeter guards have reported in, Commander. All quiet. The sentries at the main gate haven't changed since midnight. Gate Commander is Sven Ironhand. Known to be pragmatic, but loyal to the Baron."
"Good," Eirik nodded. Pragmatic was good. It meant Sven was unlikely to ask awkward questions if things looked official. "The deployment orders?"
"Presented to the Gatehouse an hour ago, as instructed," Leif confirmed. "Signed by the Baron. They expect our departure."
Olaf stomped over. "Lads are formed up, Commander!" He grinned ferally. "Trolls'll warm 'em up right quick!"
Eirik surveyed his company. Seventy-three souls. Ragged street fighters now clad in stiff, new padded armor, looking uncomfortable but marginally more soldier-like. Isolde Fenrir sat beside Yorick, wrapped in a thick fur cloak. Harkin stood near the front, checking the harness on the lead mule.
We are a patchwork legion, Eirik thought. Held together by fear, coin, necessity, and my will. Let's see how long the stitches hold.
He strode to the front, turning to face the assembled Talons. The weak grey light of false dawn was bleeding into the eastern sky, outlining Stormkeep's grim bulk behind them. Silence fell, broken only by the stamp of a hoof and a muffled pigeon coo.
"TALONS!" Eirik's voice cut through the frigid air. "You've trained. You've been equipped. You've been paid. Now comes the proving ground. North. Ice Trolls infesting Lord Flint's iron mine." He gestured subtly towards the wagon where Fisk shivered. "We fight smart. We fight together. The Talons walk in. We walk out victorious. Understood?"
A ragged roar answered him. "AYE, COMMANDER!"
"Squad leaders! Check your lines! Olaf, Leif! Mount up! DRIVER!" Eirik barked. "Move out! Take us through the gate!"
The coachman snapped the reins. "HYAH!" The wagon lurched forward.
