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Chapter 5 — Trigger (Public)
🕑 Added 2024-04-24 09:43:14 +0000 UTCA/N: Finally settle in my new place, plus I just spent the whole night cleaning and scrubbing my old apartment since… Well, you gotta do it, right? Just feels awful to move and leave a hill of trash for the owners who were really nice to me. But after this, I’ll resume my usual schedule so fret not.
The Tohsaka Manor stands as a grand, two-story mansion designed in a traditional Western style, perched atop a slope. Similar to the Emiya Residence, it is located in the prosperous section of Fuyuki, but in a more progressive neighborhood.
And when I say ‘progressive,’ I don’t mean ‘woke,’ but rather a community embracing a more modern approach to architecture. In simpler terms, Old Money vs. New.
“You know, I think I can understand why people might think this place is haunted.”
From the outside, it does exude a rather somber aura. Not quite as eerie as ‘The Grudge,’ but combined with the occasional flashes of light from magical practices and experiments conducted by the late Tokiomi, it’s no wonder rumors of hauntings persist. “Here we are...” I turn to Taiga, “Aren’t you going to go back?”
Taiga, her arms crossed and her nose held high, responds, “There’s a kidnapper on the loose. The police haven’t caught him yet, so I’ll stay until I’m sure you are safe.” She proudly adds, “What do you think? I’m pretty amazing, aren’t I?”
Chuckling, I lean forward to ring the doorbell, my question lingering in the air as the Sun starts its descent below the horizon. “But aren’t you a girl? Shouldn't It be more risky for you than it is for me?”
With a confident grin, the Tigress raises her arms, flexing her biceps, and reassures confidently, “Don’t worry. I might not look the part, but I am actually pretty strong. Besides, you’re just a kid. If anything were to happen, you wouldn’t be able to protect yourself.”
“Hmm…” I respond with a confident snort, “That’s rich coming from the one who lost the chopsticks war.”
“I didn’t lose!” She yells. “You totally cheated!”
“If you ain’t cheatin’—”
“Yeah, yeah!” Taiga interrupts me, pouting and huffing angrily.
“Just admit you couldn’t beat me.” I shrug, barely holding back chuckles. This kind of banter really reminds me of the temple where I used to stay…
“Next time!” Growling, Taiga narrows her eyes as she spits the words.
“Anytime, anywhere.” Proudly, I issue a challenge. After all, Goku is my favorite protagonist for a reason–I can lose at a lot of things, but never when it comes to eating. My pride will not allow it, unless I’m up against someone morbidly obese. Even then, with this new body, the dream title of ‘King of Tofu’ may still be within my reach. “I won’t go easy on you just because you’re a girl.”
“Funny.”
“How so?”
Cracking her knuckles, Taiga purses her lips. “You just spoke my mind…” Sparks fly as our gazes meet, and a wild tsundere chooses that exact moment to appear. “Leo?”
Her gaze flickers from Taiga to me, finally resting on me with a bewildered expression. “Leonis? You seem to be in better shape… May I ask why you’re here?"
In an instant, Taiga’s eyes sharpen and her lips thin into a line. “So, this friend you mentioned, is it a girl?”
“Hello, Ms.” Rin nods politely, dismissing Taiga’s question. “My name is Rin Tohsaka, and I attend the same cram class as Leo.” Seeing how nice she is, the highschool girl has the decency to seem a bit embarrassed at her prior behavior. “Sorry, I’m Taiga Fujimura. Nice to meet you, Tohsaka-chan.”
“Nice to meet you too,”
The tsundere replies, bowing again before directing her attention towards me. “Why are you here?"
I hesitate for a moment, trying to come up with an explanation that won’t raise any suspicions from Taiga. Luckily, Rin has already provided a suitable reason. “I, uh... I’ve been having some trouble with my studies... Couldn’t quite ‘focus’ on anything. You know me, scatterbrained and all.” I purposefully stress, hoping she will catch my meaning.
Rin Tohsaka is already a genius, combined with her upbringing, I am sure she knows how to read between the lines, for even though the Tohsaka has done the Magi’s equivalence of ‘retreating for secluded cultivation’, staying off grids and away from the Clock Tower’s politics, they’re still Nobles, and their lineage is still one of—if not their proudest attributes. “I know this is out of nowhere, but I would really appreciate a bit of assistance.”
“Ah, well, don’t just stand there then!”
Stepping aside, the tsundere motions for me to enter.
I throw a friendly wave to Taiga to give my appreciation, “Thanks for accompanying me, Taiga-nee. Please be careful on your way back. As you mentioned, there’s a kidnapper on the loose.” Although the actual culprits behind the kidnappings are now both dead, I would be foolish to disclose that information, especially when nobody else knows about it.
For those involved in the ‘Moonlit World,’ I could still use the excuse of Clairvoyance, but I simply cannot risk revealing such information to Taiga. Not that I don’t trust her, I know her character well, and will argue she’s even more trustworthy than Rin and Shiro if one had won her approval, I just can’t tell the Tigress without exposing her life to unnecessary threats. Even as talented a swordswoman as she is, she is just a normal human up against monsters and insane scientists.
The differences between Magi and the average civilians is like the difference between the former versus Servants—nigh insurmountable. Even Shirou himself could barely fight an actual Servant, and technically has never won a 1v1 against anyone except Gilgamesh, who frankly was way too arrogant for his own good. So arrogant he didn’t bother using more than a few [Gates], even after Shirou had deployed [Unlimited Blade Works].
Once he finally grasped the extent to which Shirou countered him, it was already too late for the Golden King to do anything about it.
Additionally, I strongly believe that Shirou had plot armor since the [Chain of Heaven] was preventing Berserker from attacking at literal point-blank range.
There is absolutely no chance a mere Magus—regardless of how strong or proficient he is at using [Reinforcement]—should have been able to surpass the most renowned Demigod in all of Greece who, in spite of his outrageous Stats and overpowered Master, still fell short trying to breach Gilgamesh’s defense. Does not matter how Nasu explains it, because it really was not a convincing victory at all.
‘It was pretty fucking hype though, not going to lie.’
However, here lies the issue: Unlike everyone else, I have never, currently do not, and will never harbor any disdain towards Gilgamesh.
He was an exceptional person—the one who dared to challenge the Gods and set a remarkable precedent for others to follow.
Just like Usain Bolt... Before him, the idea of a human being able to sprint at such an incredible pace was completely foreign, and now all athletes strive to surpass his record. Or Elon Musk, even... The man who’s willing to squander his hard-earned wealth for Humanity to ascend to the Stars.
They are trailblazers, and solely for that, they have earned my respect, for respect—deep adoration by definition—is something that must be earned by either one’s merits, virtues or achievements, but never freely given.
If there’s one person who could claim the right to be arrogant, it’d be King of Heroes...
‘Queen.’ I remind myself. ‘In this Timeline at least.’
“Remember, don’t do—”
“I know, I know!” No reason to make Rin suspect my intentions when it is as pure as it can get. The gates close behind us as we move into the Tohsaka Manor. ‘Talk about a trust-fund kid...’
This is the type of place that takes people centuries of working themselves to the bones to obtain, especially given the limited space Japan has to work with. I’m pretty damn sure those candle holders are crafted from pure 24K yellow gold... ‘How on God’s green Earth did Kirei manage to squander her inheritance in less than a decade? And how did nobody ask questions?’
Guardian or not, is there really no method put in place to prevent this?
Is the bank, or whichever entity Tokiomi decided to entrust his wealth with truly that irresponsible?
Aren’t wealthy people supposed to be smart and hoard their possessions more than cats do their shit?
Sure, they do charity every once in a while, but it is almost always a calculated move to buy goodwill from the public, which’ll benefit their business in the future. “You look like you have a lot on your mind...?”
“Oh, just thinking about how Kirei will squander your inheritance,” I blurt out. It’s not like this information will negatively affect Rin or me, and I do want to maintain the illusion of being a ‘mysterious clairvoyant’ for as long as possible. Eventually, I’ll make my way to the Tower, as my destiny lies there, and the more eerie and mysterious I appear, the more the Magi will be deterred and less likely to mess with me.
Furthermore, I do want to see Kirei’s face when the wild tsundere makes a move on him.
It’s gonna be hilarious.
“What?” Rin asks—dumbfounded,
“What?” And I repeats in kind.
“What was it you just said? Please repeat it,” Rin inquires sharply, her eyes narrowing and her lips thinning with curiosity.
“Well, usually I don’t snitch on a homie,”
But my relationship with Kirei is literally based on hurting each other, kinda like a toxic, alcoholic stepdad and the unwanted child; or a beaten man and his over-controlling ‘victim’ of a girlfriend. The only difference is our methods are more subtle due to the ceasefire the Queen had forced unto us. "But I'm the type of person who believes in reciprocation, and since you're lending me a hand... Kotomine Kirei will spend every penny of yours on spicy mapo tofu."
I have no clue what the priest used the money for in the Visual Novel, but that’s my best estimation. “And how do you possess this knowledge, pray tell?” The tsundere gazes at me with a skeptical expression. I’m not even certain if she has any fondness for the priest, but it’s common for people to support those they are more acquainted with. “Well, I happen to be a Clairvoyant…”
Rin glares at me, maintaining a serious demeanor, while I add jokingly, “Or perhaps it is merely a guess from my observation. Take your pick."
I arch my eyebrows, a mischievous grin dancing on my lips, while Rin lets out an exasperated sigh. “Can’t you ever be serious?”
“Why should I? Seriousness is just plain dull.”
“It’s difficult to have faith in your words when you act this way, you know?”
“That’s the whole point.” It’s all about the theatricality and showmanship…
The more I play up my eccentricity, the more impactful it will be when I choose to be serious. “I suggest you closely monitor your financial situation. While there are many things you can confidently entrust to Kirei, sadly, finance is not one of them. Now, let's get back to discussing my Trigger...”
“Oh, I’ve heard from Kirei that your Circuits are quite low in quality.”
It’s a rather sad truth, but there’s no need for me to despair, it’s something that can still be rectified. I merely have to wait until the next February rolls around. “Trigger usually comes easily for most of us, so this situation is quite unfortunate.”
“Double ouch...”
“Don’t be too down,”
The tsundere pats me on the shoulder reassuringly.
“What you lack in quality, you make up for quantity. There are Magi around with less than 10 Circuits in total.”
“Rin,”
“Yes?”
I can’t help but roll my eyes as I clarify, “That wasn’t the compliment you thought it was.”
It’s the one Universal Truth all are willing to admit: The importance of quality far surpasses quantity.
Take, for instance, a hundred old WW1 planes and a modern fighter jet; the latter simply outshines the former on every spec,
Or, for the more dirty-minded, a hundred average sexual encounters in comparison to that one mind-blowing night you are going to reminisce about for the rest of your life.
Regardless of the situation or circumstance, quality always takes precedence. “Well, how do you usually do it?”
“Did Kirei not teach you?”
“The guy’s gone by the time I woke up,” I shrug nonchalantly. “And I wanna do Magic.”
“Magecraft.” Rin corrects condescendingly.
“I wanna do Wish.com Magic.”
I can’t help but feel a sense of satisfaction as her lips twitch in annoyance.
There is something oddly pleasing about irritating people with low-quality memes they don’t even know the context of. Why? It just does. “I don’t even want to comprehend what that was, but rest assured, it was nothing more than a meaningless and incoherent jumble of words to me,” She retorts, clearly unimpressed. “And for the records, it’s Magecraft.”
“Wish.com Magic.”
“It’s Magecraft!” Veins throbbing on her forehead, the tsundere yells.
“That’s what I said!”
“No. No, it wasn’t!”
Rin fumes with frustration, her voice a little heated. “Let me spell it out for you: M. A. G. E. C. R. A. F. T!”
I patiently repeat each letter as instructed. “Now, let’s combine all the letters: Magecraft!”
“Wish.com Magic.”
“Urgh–!”
She groans, tugging at her twin-tails aggressively, before settling for a resigned sigh that speaks a thousand words which will likely remain unspoken for the foreseeable future. “Never mind, you’re just getting a kick out of this, aren’t you?”
I gasp dramatically, “How did you know?!” Hands covering my mouth, I whisper. “Ms. Tohsaka, are you per chance a Telepath?”
“I hate you.” Crossing her arms, the tsundere huffs and turns on the soles of her feet. “About my Trigger?”
She groans again, “Urgh… Come with me.”
My head whirls around, taking in the living room that surpasses the beauty and grandeur depicted in both the visual novel and anime. With caution, I ascend the stairs, only to come to an abrupt halt.
"A-Are we… going to your room?”
I stammer, cupping my face and mustering a blush, squirming like a worm. “How scandalous… I haven’t mentally prepared myself yet!”
Rin’s face darkens, and she marches downstairs, grabbing hold of my shirt collar and forcefully dragging me along. “Honestly, you’re such a child!” She retorts, exasperated.
“I’ve gotta make the most of it, you know?”
I reply. “We won’t be a kid forever. I try to find enjoyment wherever I can.”
Childhood was never filled with much joy for me, and by the time I realized I should have cherished it more regardless of circumstances it was too late to go down slides or take walks in the park.
I wonder when all my motivation faded… I used to ride my bike halfway across the city for pirated game disks; I used to play soccer and pick fights when a foul was committed; I used to be so much, and then I became nothing. ‘But it doesn’t matter now,’ I conclude. ‘I’ve gotten a second chance, and I’ll be damned if a waste it again.’
“You should take that advice too, Ms. Tohsaka,” I say, turning around and casually draping my arm around her shoulder, playfully pinching her nose with my free hand. "Don't take things too seriously, or you'll just end up miserable.”
Rin rolls her eyes and dismissively remarks, “You sound like an old man.” I chuckle in response, teasingly saying, “Well, the truth is…”
“Let me guess, you’re secretly reincarnator?” She interrupts, causing me to gasp, but not out of humor this time. “How did you—?”
The tsundere lifts her chin with an air of superiority. “I am a Telepath, remember?”
I let out a relieved sigh, realizing my worry was unfounded. ‘Ah… She’s just teasing me back.’
A smile tugs at the corners of my lips as I playfully tousle her hair. “Now, that’s the spirit!”
Rin’s room is remarkably neat and tidy, more so than any previous flings, girlfriends, or friends I’ve had. It’s practically sterile.
‘A fellow OCD!’ I internally remark.
While I don’t consider myself the cleanest person, disorderliness gives me the heebies-jeebies. “Rin…?” I call out,
“Yeah?” And she responds.
“Before we get started,” I can’t help but fixate on the fluffy mattress, “Can I jump on the bed? I promise I’ll make it for you later, pinky swear!”
“No…”
“Aw.” I say, disappointed.
“Sit on the bed.” Rin instructs. “Trigger manifests when you are using your Mana, which is the problem. If you can only barely feel your Circuits, it will be difficult for you to find your Trigger. I’ll help jolt your Circuits, it should do the job.”
My complexion drains, leaving my face shades paler. “This won’t be anything like Kirei’s ritual, is it?” I murmur.
“No,” The tsundere assures me, and I let out a breath of relief.
“It won’t be as painful?” Is that a question or a statement?!
“You sound unsure…”
“I’ve never actually done this before, but according to the book, the process is rather quick.”
The girl’s voice trails off as a hint of sadness flickers across her face. “I only researched it while trying to teach someone the basics. She is gone now, unfortunately.”
She must be referring to Sakura. Who else could it be but her? Rin’s choice of words could use some improvement, but I understand why she says ‘gone’.
The older Tohsaka sister carries the burden of guilt, believing she’s the reason Sakura was separated, while Sakura herself worries about implicating her sister and fears rejection after enduring Zouken’s torments. Such feelings left the two estranged for many years, with neither willing to break the silence between them in the VN and anime.
“Alright, let’s just get this over with.” I declare, aiming to divert the conversation to something else.
I’m not Shirou, I won’t stupidly jump into a losing fight. Zouken is not an enemy I can face right now, so Sakura will have to endure for the foreseeable future…
As I leap onto the bed, a sense of amazement washes over me as I sink into the plush mattress and soft blankets. “Feels like I’m sitting on a fucking cloud,” I exclaim in awe. “Where’s YFM’s ‘Rich people’ tune when you need it?”
“Find a comfortable seating position,” She instructs. I obediently comply, settling into a crossed-leg position with my back slightly curved, resting my hands on my thighs to support my upper body. True to scientific findings, it’s clear that the human spine isn’t designed optimally. Although I may no longer experience back pain with my regained youth, the habit continues to plague my being. “Also, please remove your shirt." The tsundere adds.
While I often enjoy cracking jokes, even I know there are moments that call for seriousness as well.
Nonchalantly discarding my buttoned-up shirt, I direct my gaze towards the corner of the room as she places her hands on my back. “Are you ready?”
“Not really,” I reply, “But let’s face it, I’ll never be. So we might as well dive in now.”
An unexpected warmth envelops my back, and I must confess, it’s oddly soothing rather than painful, at least until the heat intensifies all of a sudden.
It’s akin to holding your hand above a flame and gradually bringing it nearer and nearer. ‘I can manage this,’ I think to myself.
As long as the intensity doesn’t escalate too abruptly, or in fitness terms, as long as it is progressive overload, I can deal with it fine.
Both the mind and body require time to adjust to novel experiences, after all.
“Don’t think useless thoughts, focus on your Circuits instead, Leo-kun.”
I emit a sound of acknowledgement, as I instinctively search for my Magic Circuits, which pulsate softly. Without warning, the transition happens; one moment I find myself on the bed, and the next, I am transported to a desolate and barren terrain. Instantly, my gaze fixates on the Great Tree In the distance.
Despite its lifeless appearance, it still beckons.
With caution, I cautiously advance towards the tree, its vast network of roots extending into the distant horizon.
“Are you summoning me?”
Placing my hands on the trunk, a sensation akin to electric current surges through my palm.
The Great Tree ignites, its trunk illuminating in a spectacle of every imaginable colors, and even the ones unimagined.
The once withered and lifeless leaves transform into a vibrant gold hue.
“Detachment.” I whisper, as the roots below undergo a furious shift, manifesting a fiery red shade. “Obsession.”
Many will argue that the two are in direct opposition to one another...
But they couldn’t be more mistaken.
The truth is, humans often pursue Obsession as a means to detach themselves from reality,
While paradoxically, Deachment can also manifest as a form of obsession itself.
All the monks I have met and lived with—who the people revere, are just normal people. They have their personal preferences, they too like to eat and sleep; they indulge, and hold on tightly to Buddhism as a shield against the hardships of Life.
Just like the druggies, who cling steadfastly to their chosen form of dependency, whatever it may be.
The only difference is how destructive the addiction is, and some monks even perform self-immolation. Anything to distract us from the fact we’re just particles drifting aimlessly in the dark expanse of space. Some despair at the thought; others are freed by it, but at the end of the day, they are all coping...
The Magi themselves are not immune to this, as they often find themselves pursuing an elusive Dream that seems nearly unattainable. What's more, this Dream is often not even theirs, but rather one imposed upon them by their parents at a tender age...
Take Rin for example.
Even in the VN or anime, she never seems to enjoy the War or even Magecraft, she is merely pursuing it to prove her heritage.
At least, that’s the feeling I get watching her.
For her, Magecraft is not a source of enjoyment but rather a duty she carries.
Similarly, Shirou and Artoria have also had their fates forcefully imposed upon them, and I’ll even argue Artoria’s pursuit of changing her destiny is, in reality, an attempt to evade the her responsibilities.
The only individual in Fate/Stay Night who appears to seek happiness is Sakura, yet even she has been subjected to such inhuman and immense sufferings that she trembles at the mere thought of pursuing it for herself.
Not that I hold any authority to pass judgment on them,
For I too find myself equally culpable.
My family, along with its extended branches, was intricately tied to power and high social standing. Throughout my upbringing, I was inundated with tales of my father’s illustrious past, before everything came crashing down. He never recovered from it. The man I grew up with was a gentle man, yet an utterly hopeless man, much like Kiritsugu.
During moments when my mother would succumb to her emotional turmoil, he was my safe haven; my place of solace; the umbrella that shielded me from the rain.
However, the despair eventually took its toll on him, shattering the person he once was.
That is precisely why I strive to excel in all that I do, as I am acutely aware of the consequences that lie ahead if I were to accept mediocrity. I have witnessed the outcome firsthand, and I refuse to let history repeat itself.
Although I harbor deep contempt for the version of him that he has morphed into, my love for the person he once was has not gone away. I must become a King worthy of such acclaim... If only to honor that man... If only to prove to myself that I am his son...
“Survival holds no significance, and happiness is irrelevant, only greatness matters.”
If only to prove to myself that I too can be Great... Not just Great, but the Greatest. Whatever it takes. “Just like the Great Tree, I’ll become Infinity.”
The Tree— my Circuits quiver, glowing with a greater intensity than before,
And suddenly, snap!
I find myself back in Rin’s bedchamber, with a surge of metaphysical energy surging through my being.
Peering over my shoulder, Rin asks with a mix of concern and curiosity, “How do you feel?”
I respond, giving her a thumbs-up and a grin, “Never felt more alive.”
As I close my eyes and shut down my Circuits, I activate my Trigger once more.
The familiar sight of the Tree and the desolate terrain greets me, but the sensations feel less vivid and more ethereal, more akin to a dream–mine.
Recalling the conversation with the abbot, I struggle to contain a laugh that comes out as a wheeze and mutter a quick “Thank you,” Under my breath.
Misinterpreting my mumble, Rin playfully slaps my back, thinking I’m expressing gratitude towards her. “You’re welcome,” She chirps.
Chuckling, I clarify, “Oh no, that thanks wasn’t for you, Rin.”
With mischievous grin, I reach forth to ruffle up her hair and add, “This is!”
“Argh! Stop that! It takes a long time to get my hair done!”
“All the better!”
Once I finish, Rin starts complaining about her messy hair.
I patiently wait for her to fix it, even offering to help with putting the bow-clips back in place before expressing my gratitude.
As I prepare to head back home, the tsundere grabs my sleeve. “Um...do you want to stay for dinner?”
I’m taken aback, feeling a bit confused.
I am self-aware enough to know that my antics can be irritating to certain people, especially to someone as serious as her.
‘So why would she...? Ah!’
It suddenly dawns on me as I glance at the large, yet empty house, oozing of isolation; loneliness and desperation. ‘I must be the first person, besides her, to enter this house since her father’s passing, huh?’ Those were the days etched in my memory...
The days when I found myself confined within the walls of my home, with only my thoughts for company;
I can vividly recall the profoundly dark those voices were;
How discreet yet menacing the whispers.
Rin longs for human interaction, a need that remains unfulfilled by her peers who prioritize different interests and values.
While most children her age are still preoccupied with amusement and outdoor pursuits, Rin's focus lies on her ancestry and Magecraft, a topic she can't even openly discuss. "Apologies, but I've already had dinner." I inform her, and try as she might, she can’t hide the disappointment on her face as she deflates slightly. "However, what if I come visit you tomorrow? Would that be alright?"
“Absolutely!”
The tsundere replies eagerly, then clears her throat in an attempt to conceal her desperation. “I-I mean, that’s perfectly alright.”
After departing from the Tohsaka Manor, I take a leisurely stroll down the street, lost in my own musings. “I wonder if there’s a spell similar to Shadow Clone…”
The way things are going, I might have to put my studies and aspirations on hold just to maintain my current social circle, let alone expand it. “Or perhaps…” Maybe I could introduce Rin to Shiro and Taiga. I had birds before, and since socializing is a trait nearly all animals exibit, my first one was very needy until I got the lil’ guy a friend.
As for Sakura, reconciling the strained relationship between the sisters could prove to be a challenge, as it may attract unwanted attention from Zouken, so I’ll leave that task for my future self to tackle who—hopefully—is more powerful than I am now.
Let’s hope that version of me doesn’t forget. “I could also propose study sessions to Rin.” Both Shiro and I are keen on advancing our Magecraft abilities, after all. “Oh well.” I find myself shrugging as I gaze at the gentle pink hues gracing the horizon. “All in due time.”
