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BSCOTE 20: I'm Scared Of...
🕑 Added 2025-06-24 18:19:27 +0000 UTCShe's scared.
I can see her body shaking.
Is the shock too sudden? I can't have her collapsing on me in this busy cafe.
"Sit down."
Karuizawa, as if a doll, obeyed and sat down. Her face had turned a sheet of white, like someone who'd seen a corpse.
"If I wanted to spread your past I would've done so already, Karuizawa... Calm down." I extended my hand and forcefully held hers. Karuizawa shivered, not even having the strength to resist. A flicker of disgust passed through her eyes as she felt my palm envelop hers.
"W-What do you want?" Karuizawa spoke breathlessly, I figured she would've fainted by now had I not forced her to sit down.
We'll have to change locations, she's too unstable.
Perhaps having her status endangered as soon as it had been established was much more terrifying than when she was threatened by Ayanokoji or Ryuen later.
"Come with me and behave normally, if anyone starts staring at us suspiciously I don't know if I'll be able to keep it a secret." I got up and walked away, my coffee still in hand, not bothering to look at her if she followed.
She wouldn't dare not.
We kept a few metres of distance between us.
It would be bad if anyone spotted us.
I glanced back to observe Karuizawa and besides her face looking a bit pale and eyes that seemed to have lost focus, there was no oddity.
If she weren't observed carefully at best people would think she was exhausted.
There were no hiccups along the way as we entered the lift together. I pressed the fourth floor and Karuizawa stayed silent, like a ghost. I wonder what's going through her mind right now.
The 16-year-old me would've relished in her pain but now I couldn't help but feel a bit bad for her. Inevitably, her life will fall into ruin having caught my eye but I wonder if she could blossom into a beautiful flower.
I wonder...
I wonder if I can control myself to the point I don't cause her to commit suicide. To be honest, I don't know what I'll do now that I have someone back in my control after almost two years.
The feeling of exhilaration caused my heart to race.
Though I didn't show it on the outside; my face stoic, I was scared.
I'm scared of myself.
Karuizawa wasn't aware of my complicated feelings, most likely juggling worries of her own.
We entered my room and I turned the lights on.
It was 7:12 PM and the sunlight had dimmed considerably outside. The girls' curfew was at 9 PM.
"...What d-do you want?" Karuizawa spoke, her voice trembling.
"Why are you so scared, Karuizawa?" I couldn't help but close the distance between us. Karuizawa backed away in terror, colliding with a thud against the door. Our faces were dangerously close.
Karuizawa tried to match my gaze defiantly, perhaps mustering the courage to stand against my will but as soon as she looked in my eyes she trembled and lowered her head, like a helpless lamb.
I wonder what she saw.
"Make yourself home." I turned around and went to the bathroom to freshen up. I tossed my blazer aside and threw the tie on the bed.
...
Karuizawa watched him disappear and the breath she was holding finally had a chance to leave.
With shaky hands, she wiped the corner of her eyes that had begun to redden. She couldn't cry. She wasn't the weak Karuizawa of the past. She refused to accept this.
Now standing alone, Karuizawa began to gather her courage again. The oppressive pressure from Ryuji had caused her mind to go blank.
She slowly turned around and faced the door.
She shouldn't be scared. It wasn't locked. With just a twist of the knob, she could open the door and escape.
The actions would be effortless but...
Her hand refused to move.
Karuizawa couldn't bring herself to. Tears she had desperately been holding back streamed uncontrollably. She couldn't imagine the consequences. She couldn't imagine the class looking at her differently.
She would no longer be the Karuizawa, the queen of the class. Instead, she'd become Karuizawa, the plaything of the class. She'd be bullied again, and she'd have to face torture again.
And no one would care.
It was always the same.
No matter whether it was the students, the teachers or even the school... No one would help her.
Even telling Hirata her past had been a gamble. She had played with fire. Should he have had ill intentions she'd have lost her chance to reform herself on the very first day of school.
And now... If she angered Ryuji she'd lose everything.
She had become the weak, bullied Karuizawa of the past.
Her thinly veiled days of happiness would be torn away and she'd be enveloped in darkness once again.
She couldn't bear it.
She couldn't—
"Are you trying to leave?"
A hushed whisper echoed in her ears as Karuizawa froze. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Ryuji looking at her, his eyes full of frost. A predatory look she was all but familiar with.
"N-No." The words escaped, despite her protest.
"Good," Ryuji held her hand and pulled her inside the room. He gently nudged her forward before standing behind her. His gaze fell onto her hair held up in a ponytail by a hairband.
He gently pulled the hairband and tossed it away. Karuizawa's hair was freed and it flowed like a waterfall, cascading down in waves. He stepped closer and lowered his head, his nose burying deep into her swan-like pale neck.
He inhaled deeply, taking in her scent with relish before exhaling, "Huuuuu~"
The scent of a woman... how long has it been?
Karuizawa shuddered, the animalistic groan caused her knees to buckle. She realised what Ryuji was after.
"You... You're just after my body!" Karuizawa screamed in despair but Ryuji grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place. His fingers dug into her soft, delicate skin. A man's raw strength was beyond what a weak woman like her could fight against.
"Don't try to run. If you do I'll just expose your past to everyone. Even if they don't believe me there will be many who'd love to test it out... Do you realise the consequences of disobedience?"
As if his words were a magical spell, Karuizawa stiffened. Even from behind her Ryuji could see the glistening tears, tears that reflected the light in the room, drop to the ground.
He did not need to look at her face to realise she had probably lost all hope.
Ryuji hugged her from behind, his hands unbuttoning her shirt. He moved neither hurriedly nor slowly, maintaining a calm pace.
Button after button was released and Ryuji laughed as he pulled her blazer off and threw it on the floor. Her shirt, which had been unbuttoned opened up, displaying her snow-white skin and flat belly.
Ryuji's fingers slowly moved across the softness of her stomach when suddenly Karuizawa grabbed his hand in horror, "No! N-Not there! P-please... please..." She whimpered as Ryuji's hand continued to move forward.
Karuizawa froze as she noticed Ryuji pause.
She could feel his fingers stop at her scar.
Her ugly scar, the cruelest darkness of her past.
