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[Esc] reality
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Rebranding/Name change
🕑 Added 2017-12-16 12:43:11 +0000 UTC This is my complete statement explaining my channel name change from Rena Sage to [Esc] reality.Rena Sage was a temporary alias. Back when I decided to dip my toes into ASMR video creation, Google had already bought YouTube which at the time didn't affect me or my previous channels, but when I went to make a new channel purely for ASMR I quickly realized the kinds of changes that had been applied. As probably very many people, I was very confused why I couldn't name my channel what I wanted and had to use a "real" name. Of course I didn't want to use my real name (I'm highly allergic to it, please refrain from calling me what it says in my PO box info, I'm getting it changed ASAP) so I had to come up with something that was acceptable to Google. After hours of looking up name meanings I settled for one that was remotely related to the type of content I was going for. Rena means melody and Sage means wise one. It wasn't a case of me thinking "Yes, this is the name I want!" but more like "Ok, I guess..." (If you're wondering, the channel name I originally wanted is now my essentially abandoned blog name: Witch, not Wiccan ... I thought if I was to come out of the broom closet, why not make it very very clear that I practice the craft, NOT the religion... In the words of the computer game that my mother managed to piss off, "well that didn't work...")
Then I learned about "brand accounts"... In late 2016, a lot of changes happened in my personal life, leading me to becoming familiar with my internal life for the first time. Hence the half year break from video creation. I had been away from my abusive mother long enough to start to heal emotionally and basically came to realize that all I had done to cope with my upbringing was ... escape reality. And I was good at it. I thought, this is my talent - this is the one thing that comes naturally to me. And I thought, if I can immerse myself into my head enough that I can no longer tell fantasy from reality ... I have to use it for good somehow. It's a thing, it's called exaltation. ... Since then, my personal path has been dipping my toes in reality and facing what I'm so afraid of. I believe exalting my natural (≠innate) ability to dissociate from reality was an important step in allowing me to get in touch with my body, my system, my being, and beginning to tell illusion from truth. The curse (fig.) that was put on me in my past was broken by giving it a purpose. This purpose is giving people a safe space to [Esc] reality. I knew this had to be my new channel name so I moved it to a brand account and named it that.
With that came changes. As you have probably noticed, during the rebranding process I have removed a lot of videos I was just no longer happy with. I have removed the intro from all my old videos and as a result had to reupload a good amount of them (the YouTube video editor can't save an edited video if it already has more than 100k views so I had no choice but to export them into new video files.) Ever since the very first video on my new channel I have been making only roleplays with the exception of the sparklers videos, which were purely triggers. So far I have yet to bring it over me to delete all my old videos, which many viewers have urged me not to do. There are no words to express how badly I want to. This is why I made this playlist of only my old videos instead, so it will hopefully eventually be drowned out by my new content and forgotten about. I have removed all videos that weren't fun for me to do. If one of your favorites is missing, this is why. There are still ones I want to get rid of like my most popular girlfriend cuddles video which I made while I was still with my ex so I hope the motivation is clear there. Also the boop challenge has really started to annoy me because out of all the great videos I make, this is what I've become known for...
I hope this explains it.
Important: I will not make any more German videos. They fall under the category of "no fun for me to do". I do no longer take requests. I occasionally take inspiration and let my patrons vote on minor things but I try to reserve as much creative freedom as possible to try and stay in love with what I do.
//Ally
