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my life sucks lately
🕑 Added 2018-06-17 10:45:42 +0000 UTCI'm posting this so others will have seen and responded and I'm less likely to suppress and forget it.
I've gotten to the point where I have a pretty good idea what I need yet not the faintest clue how to go about it. The way my life is set up right now is just not a healthy environment. I feel isolated and cut off from everything. Especially with appointments in the morning, it throws my sleep schedule off so much that I couldn't do anything if I wanted. Last night I wanted to go somewhere for fun because I haven't done that in... I actually can't remember the last time. But sleepy Ally doesn't give a fuck about any dumb alarms. I just turn them all off and sleep 5 more hours. I keep struggling to fall asleep by noon and end up sleeping until 8PM. The magic hour when every single chariot in town turns back into a pumpkin. Otherwise known as universal closing time for everything in my area. Down in the old town, the whole place shuts down at 6PM. I know I need to get out and explore and do new things - I crave it so much... But every opportunity is literally gone before I open my eyes and it's frustrating. I need to get to a copy shop to print out an address from an order (that I can't read, unfortunately, because it's in Chinese and I would just fuck it up big time and send it somewhere it shouldn't go if I had to write it by hand lol) and I want to go crystal shopping so bad (for your rewards and because I love shopping for esoteric stuff) - alas, I just can't get my ass out of bed until I got my 8 hours. I am so deprived of human contact even I am acknowleding that I need it and the only person I really want to have contact with, I can't be with because the govt are taking their sweet time giving me my god damn visa interview. Did I mention I'm terrified of most people? Naturally, I tend to avoid places where lots of them gather. That's not exactly helping getting any of my needs met. I go outside at night because it's peaceful, but even walking alone in a dead town is becoming routine. I feel like I've already taken a picture of everything there is to see in a 3 mile radius from where I live. That's the conundrum I'm in. I like swimming but there's people and I can't take my phone. I love shopping but everything is closed. I love eating but I can't afford to eat out all the time. I like board games but I have no one to play with. I like badminton, but still no one I want to play with. It makes me feel... what's the word... trivial. Like nothing I do matters. Like I may aswell just not exist. It would make no difference because I already don't get to do anything. I'm tired of feeling like this but I don't see a way out. Does anyone know what I could do?
Thanks for reading.
Comments
oh my God,I want to help you out more
Kevin Martinez
There's this game called table top simulator you can play board games on. If your pc can run it.
