Episode 19.5: Van Helsing

CaesarVulpes

I love this movie. It’s so much fun.

Chaos Merlin

My beloved Quincy P Morris mentioned. He really was just a texas cowboy who was too in love to walk away from vampire shit. He genuinely tries to shoot dracula and it almost works

Mr. Anderson

Oh, the "R.I.P. The Queen" jokes...

Arthur Sexcrimes

where's the TF ep where they watched dracula? can't find it on Patreon or Podbean

Emily Christman

I love this movie. There were so many fantastic action figures in the bargain bin in the wake of this films box office failure. Giant fully articulated 12 inch CGI bat dracula action figure, 10 dollars. It ruled.

Peter Thurlow

I misheard “Abby-ghoul” as “Gabby Ghoul” and that is a primo name for an Italian-American goth drag queen.

Phathum

The first patent for a device not unlike an overhead projector was filed in 1880 and marketed as a "vertical lantern"

Orca

This is the movie that made me realise that I’m a lesbian and I will forever love it in all its terribleness

thejackalope231

I'm proud of you

Stef Potter

Should I be proud or ashamed that I've written fan fic about characters from this movie? I'm going with proud.

Twi

wait hold up how do you pronounce 'fxllas'

Willow Davison

Same.

ZombieDwarf

Speaking of Hitcher, "elements of the past and the future, combining to make something not quite as good as either" is a pretty apt review of Van Helsing.

Mateo Castillo

I became a patreon only to be able to listen to this

Noblesse Oblahaj

This is easily one of the best episodes and I would pay more money to have you watch Blade 2 or Underworld or something

Henry O'Brien

Did you know that in the original story Frankenstein is the name of the monster because the real monster is the doctor?

British Pterodactyl

This movie really lacks in the setup reminder payoff department. You know, this reminds me a lot of the other time, where I was the same guy, and I had a Seiko watch with plastic explosive that got me out of a conference room/launchpad in the heart of the amazon jungle surrounded by the world's greatest himbos, herbos, and thembos.

James Craft

It is in my collection of early 2010s torrented movies and has been through two separate computers

Claudia

I've never been happier to be giving you three money than this episode. I'm so happy Abi appreciates this terrible masterpiece.

Mulloy

Mildred is in the next episode? Best news.

The Good Poster

eagle-eyed viewers will notice that domme alice, now released, will be lurking behind mirrors and in the background of crowd scenes for the remainder of this podcast

Elder Dog

I don't know how to feel about that but, I will say that Young Frankstein had better character work going on than Van Hellsing.

Christine Pizan

abigail seems to have a much higher tolerance for trash shlock films than alice and devon, which is fair, my tolerance however, very low

Fun fact: the mace shaped like a hand with a knife is actually a 100% historical design, they're very silly and I love them

khaliqtessi

Disappointed that the "my wife" drop wasn't played triple the amount this episode but otherwise 10/10, gang. Will be listening again!

Rufus Dean

Also, van helsing having this weird religious background of catholic/Islamic syncretisim officially makes this a dune prequel, sorry, I don't make the rules

Rufus Dean

I saw this film as a kid and completely forgot about it until a couple of years ago where I came back from the pub to find my housemate engaged in watching a double bill of this and blade, and my god has there never been a better cinema experience than drunkenly eating takeaway while watching early 2000's vampire films

Rory Fagan

Lorem dripsum

billie

i really like this movie, it sucks though.

Meonlights

They stole the mirror reveal shot from Dance of the Vampires who did it way better imho. And I do understand Alice, after the BBC article my days have been weird too...

A_Aphelion

One of only a handful of movies I have ever walked out of in the cinema.

Mo Haworth

Not Abi referencing wolf porn and classic literature both within the span of like twenty minutes...

pilindiel

Abigail gushing over this film while she is currently in Transylvania is truly beautiful

Kerfliggle

It is so weird to think that the same guy directed this and the first two Mummy movies with Brendan Fraser. It’s like, the man knows camp. He goes HARD on camp. But every time CGI gets involved, stuff goes wrong. One of the weirdest career arcs I’ve seen for a director.

Drunk Karsa

Nega-Alice dedicated her life to celibacy in order to launch the ISS

Kerfliggle

Wondering whether the “cowboy hunting vampires and $#!+” was modified into Penny Dreadful (considering that was basically Josh Hartnett’s character).

Also I'm glad to know that Abi also appreciates the wonder that is Quincey P. Morris

Jon Weber

Lorem ipsum indeed.

welcome to like one of two films where frankenstein accepts the monster, and the other one is young frankenstein.

sg

I've waited my whole life for other people to appreciate the B-movie goofy glory of Van Helsing, so I'm both hyped and afraid to listen to this episode...

John Doree

5 will you get you 10 Alice wrote the lorem impsum from memory.