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[Severed Divinity] THE REST OF THE BOOK

🕑 Added 2024-12-09 06:55:20 +0000 UTC

Comments

PoeticSaint

Just finished and I am pleased!...... MORE PLEASE!

Caerulex

Appreciate all these comments!! I’ll definitely be thinking about them as I go through and revise the draft. I hope you enjoyed the story :)

Orange

Also the level of hax that Isen's sixth sense is throughout the story makes me wonder if the special water he drank at the beginning of the story super charged his sixth sense.

Orange

Finished rereading this and here's some of my rambling thoughts, focusing on the first portion of the book. The timeskip at the start of chapter eight feels a bit jarring in a few ways to me. We've been told that Ros and Isen's relationship has basically progressed to comradery, but we missed all that devolvement. A very big jump from Ros realizing that Isen wanted Ros to live for non-selfish reasons (ie not just to have a powerful monster on his side) to the current level of kinship. The chapter from the time skip to when they entered the Legacy really made me wish there were scenes of Ros and Isen talking/doing stuff. We see some talk of how beasts advance and Isen refences his philosophy of divinity/cultivation during his advancement, but really don't see more than that. It felt like there was some cultivation philosophy talk missing. The lack on much real on screen training for Isen wasn't too much of a deal breaker, but the later comments when Isen is at the clan compound of his training/lack there of make me wish there was some. The blood sharing scene made it very obvious that Ros and Isen were going to get separated, but you'd probably need to make larger structural changes not immediately have to separate them. Would need another dangerous/split potential for Isen that happened during the time skip, but the asking to consume blood and create the bond can really only with their current level of kinship. I assume that the time skip allowed you to push back level of opening up that Isen/Ros would have to have for kinship so you could revel their backstories later. I did enjoy the references to Lady Jin and Isen's issues being trusted and his backstory revel was good. Ros is still a mystery that I assume will be expanded on in the next book. Again Isen and Ros, at least on screen, haven't talked much. Guess that my main thing is that there should have been chapter(s) with smaller timeskips allow you to show Isen and Ros's relationship grow. Give me some of that good character interaction/growth. And had bits of cultivation lore/philosophy sprinkled in.