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Chapter 3: Smartphone in Murim Academy
🕑 Added 2025-05-11 07:50:38 +0000 UTCHundred Flowers Academy Entrance Exam (1)
“Oh no! Darami, my little Darami…! I—I’m so sorry! See you next time!”
(TL: A pet name for “daramjwi” = “squirrel”)
It must’ve been the owner of that squirrel earlier. The girl who’d bumped into me bolted away before I could even ask her name.
Normally, I’d grab Jangpal and go:
‘They say even brushing sleeves is fate!’
—while making a whole fuss about it.
“Aren’t you going to shout ‘Green vibes are strong today~!’ like always?”
“...Shut up.”
No matter how you slice it, that was way too fleeting of an encounter.
More importantly, what piqued my interest was the status window that appeared for the first time since I transmigrated.
I whipped out my smartphone and opened the Gallery.
[ㅇㅇ (Sweetcandy38) / Return to school?? I’m returning to school??!!! (8)]
[ㅇㅇ (Maa1aang) / I’m lost near Great Wild Goose Pagodaㅠㅠㅠ how do I get to Hundred Flowers Academy from here??? (3)]
…It’s real.
I’d thought maybe I was hallucinating from being so addicted to the gallery.
But there it was, usernames in the gallery now clearly showed their unique IDs next to their usual fixed nicknames.
Of course, it’s not like I’d been granted admin powers or deletion privileges.
The ability seemed purely limited to seeing the ID.
For a feature that triggered a whole status window, it felt underwhelming.
Then again, regular gallery users are already recognizable even without IDs.
For example:
[Author: MeatIsBetterThanPlums (GOGIJoa)]
[Title: Early birds where my Huaboomies at todayyy, out here buying 10,000 won breakfast again~~~~?!?!?~~?~?]
[ (Image: A photo of ultra-plain wheat noodles with no toppings)
The chef’s dead I swear~~~
Where’s my meat garnish, you motherfucker~~~?! ]
- Look at this Daoist looking for meat, LOL. Mount Hua really fell off.
-ㄴ(Author) Even Daoists are people too, you son of a bitch~~!!
- Bro fr… stop eating piggy 😭
Just like this guy, who uploads photos of his breakfast menu every single morning—
You get a sense of who people are just by how they post.
It's a story that only those in the know know, but within the Mount Hua Sect, they are almost certain that it's the Seventh Elder, Cheongyang.
I once caught a glimpse of him from afar.
The sheer presence he exuded… yeah, I could believe he’s someone who’d rant about meat at 7 a.m.
In any case—
For now, I decided not to dwell too much on this new ability.
After all, I had to physically shake someone’s hand to learn their ID.
Not exactly something I could put to use immediately.
But eventually, once I’d built up a proper handshake–big data archive, it could become a solid intelligence source.
People tend to run their mouths freely when they think they’re anonymous, saying all sorts of things they’d never dare speak face-to-face.
Still—
I’d set that aside for now.
The entrance exam comes first.
***
“Then, young master, please take care! I’ll be cheering you on with all my might!”
“Right. Good work today.”
After sending off Jangpal the human pack mule, I finally crossed the threshold of Hundred Flowers Academy.
“Wow, look at all these people... Can I really pass the exam?”
“With your skills, sister, it’s basically guaranteed! Let’s gooo!”
“Where’s the Namgung family’s young master, I wonder…”
“Did you hear? There’s a rumor someone from the Demonic Cult is joining this year!”
“Eeep…! The Demonic Cult is scaryyy…!”
Only current and prospective students were allowed on the academy grounds, yet the place was already packed.
There were two lines:
General Admission
Prestigious Sect Admission
Our family business, the Warring Gold Fields, might’ve made us filthy rich—
But when it came to martial arts, we were closer to dirt spoon than gold.
Both my older brothers had zero talent for martial arts.
From that perspective, I was the family’s mutant anomaly.
Honestly, I taught myself half my martial skills from MooTube, and the other half came from training under the head escort of our escort agency.
While waiting in the general admission line, I snuck a glance over at the prestigious sects queue.
No lines there, of course.
All they had to do was show their faces and nod like nobles, and the instructors would gush like:
“Oh my, look how much you’ve grown!”
One especially snobby young master had earbuds in, acting all aloof, but just tossed his ID card and walked right through.
It was a shining example of unfair admissions, in true Chinese-style guanxi fashion — connections over merit.
But hey, true dragons rise from the gutters.
And I’m that dragon!
“Please present your ID and entrance exam invitation.”
“Here you go.”
“Oh my, you’re the third son of Warring Gold Fields! Here’s your exam badge, please head to Section 5 over there.”
Still, my “gutter” is probably clean second-tier river water at worst.
At least in Xi’an, or even the greater Shaanxi region, if you don’t know Warring Gold Fields, you’re either a recluse… or a damn Demonic Cult spy.
I’m a minor celebrity, after all.
The youngest son of a gold-spoon chaebol household.
Perfect son-in-law material, don’t you think?
Ever since I got out of bed, matchmakers had been swarming from every corner trying to set me up.
But I shut them all down cold.
During that, I even said something dumb like:
“I’d like to pursue a natural encounter.”
—And promptly got smacked on the back.
Still, my parents couldn’t bring themselves to crush the strong will of a son who’d come back from the brink of death.
Because truly—
A hero must have three wives and four concubines!
…That is, if it’s even possible.
***
The entrance exam was divided into three main stages.
First up: Qi Measurement.
As mentioned before, only those at First-Rate level or above could pass the exam, so this step was meant to filter out unqualified applicants based on their internal energy.
“Young Master Geum? Please place your hand here.”
I stared at the tablet with a glowing handprint icon and felt a little lightheaded.
In the original game, I’m pretty sure the examiner would check your pulse manually in the traditional way…
But I guess in a world where taverns have kiosks, I should be generous as a modern man and accept it.
Following the instructions, I pressed my palm precisely onto the screen, and slowly drew up Qi from my dantian.
They say misfortune can turn into blessing—
And indeed, during my brush with death, my dantian had toughened and my Qi had grown more refined.
It surged through my meridians and concentrated instantly in the center of my palm.
Sssssssss!
My Qi didn’t just gather in my palm, it coiled around my entire body, making my robes flutter with energy.
The progress bar measuring Qi started to rise.
Passing line was two-thirds full.
But I had no intention of pulling the “I’m secretly strong” act.
If you top the entrance exam, you get a special reward:
A chance to select one of the secret martial arts manuals from Hundred Flowers Academy’s library.
When I became the bald-headed Greatest Under Heaven in the previous life, I’d only made it thanks to the Prajna Tiger-Heart Sutra I won from ranking first.
“Oh…”
Judging by the examiner’s stunned face, he clearly hadn’t expected me to be this powerful.
But we’re not done yet!
Here comes the full force of my ultra-exclusive formula, personally vetted by the Life and Death Divine Doctor:
Spirit-Crystal-Fungus-Eternal-Jade-Farm-Fermented-Protein-Herb Soup + Resurrection Pill + Centenarian Lantern Vine + Millennial He Shou Wu + One Horned Carp Broth + Young Ginseng + Spirit Mushroom…
(TL: I gave up translating at this point…)
Basically, anything and everything “good for the body and dantian,” I ate it.
Now feel the weight of my commitment!
RUMMMMBLLLE…!
CRAAACK—!!
“Ah!”
“Wha—!?”
The tablet broke.
A bead of cold sweat trickled down my spine as I stared up at the examiner with the most innocent face I could muster.
“...Please excuse me while I consult with my colleagues.”
Dear gods… I’m not gonna get expelled for property damage, right?
While trembling with dread, the examiner soon returned, carrying the shattered tablet, and spoke awkwardly.
“This is the first time something like this has happened since we adopted the tablet system. So we’ve decided to proceed… according to the rules.”
“And by ‘rules,’ you mean…?”
“We’ll re-test you using the traditional method. Please finish the rest of the exam and return here afterward.”
Whew.
At least it wasn’t the “Know Your Sins and Be Expelled” ending.
“Understood.”
With murmurs growing louder and curious stares starting to stack up from every direction, I obediently—though somewhat awkwardly—headed to the next test area.
***
The next test was — of all things — a written exam.
It was supposed to assess knowledge of martial arts theory, general education, and common sense, all in the noble pursuit of selecting well-rounded, scholarly warriors.
But in reality?
The passing rate was so brutal that people retook the test every year, and illegal cram schools around Xi’an saw a spike in business during exam season.
Still, I wasn’t too worried.
Not only was I used to multiple-choice exams, but I’d done countless rerolls in the tutorial just to score a perfect mark on this very exam.
And now?
I had Geum Sihyeon’s body, powered by the Sage’s Intellect trait — basically a near-perfect memory.
Honestly, with only a little exaggeration, this test was something I could ace with my eyes closed.
In the silent exam hall, the only ambient noise was the slow pacing of the proctor’s footsteps.
Without hesitation, I casually flicked through the questions and checked off answers with swift, confident strokes—
Then yawned wide and deep.
Too ez.
I finished the test within minutes and sat back lazily, watching the other examinees sweat and scribble.
Who knows how long I spaced out like that?
“Squeak!”
“…?”
A squirrel had somehow wandered up to my desk, scuttling around near my answer sheet.
It looked familiar…
Though it appeared harmless, I couldn’t help but worry that it might gnaw on my test paper or something.
I gave it a wary side-eye, but—
“Squeak! Squeak!”
It nodded twice like a little human, then gave me a polite little bow—
skitter-skitter
—and darted off with startling agility, bounding across the desks.
I watched, dumbfounded, as it moved—
Somehow weaving perfectly between the heads of test-takers and dodging every sharp-eyed proctor.
Then—
Boing!
It landed squarely on the shoulder of a brown-haired girl, seated diagonally in front of me.
…That girl again.
I knew it was her — the floating ID above her head confirmed it.
The squirrel climbed up to her shoulder, then began whispering into her ear as if it could speak human language.
And the moment it did, the girl’s pen moved—swiftly.
She started writing on her answer sheet in sync with the squirrel’s little tail wiggles.
( TL: Damn girl really cheated xd )
“...Ratatouille?”
For a moment, I couldn’t help but recall that movie from my past life, as if the exact scene were replaying in real time before my eyes.
