Tearing Sanctuary
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Vol. 3 Chapter 42: A Profound Relief
🕑 Added 2023-03-09 14:28:26 +0000 UTCI removed the plate that covered my delicious hot coffee, still steaming nicely, and smelled so sweet. I wrapped my finger gently around the handle and lifted it up to take an elegant sip. The warm and sweet choco traveled through my tongue into my throat, and it warmed up my stomach. It was not as delicious as the one I tasted in the city, but we’ll get there.
The room, on the other hand, after Allie was dragged out of the room, formed a strange and cold atmosphere. Everyone was silent, everyone was not moving just to make not even the slightest of sound.
I peered at each one of my servants, Mera was looking down, no sign of bright emotion, Rogan was looking away, as if trying to avoid my gaze, and Vernon was looking straight with a neutral expression.
Perhaps it was expected they would react this way, since I never acted like this. What do they see me now as? Ruthless? Heartless? Or perhaps none of those, and they were only processing what they had just witnessed.
I sighed and put down my cup.
“What is the matter?” I broke the silence.
They all instantly looked at me. But there was no immediate response.
“What do you want to say? Go and say it, I will not be displeased.”
My servants looked at each other. Until the eldest spoke first.
“Princess, I dare not question your… decision… But does it have to end this way?”
“You don’t like it?”
“...” he closed his eyes for a moment before opening them again. “I just expected that you would take her in after what she had done for us.”
“Take her in? Mm… you pity her?”
“I’ll be lying if I say I don’t. This was just a shock to me, to us, is all.”
“You think I should have tried to save her?”
“... Yes… But… I will not go against your decision, regardless of my opinions.”
“I see…” I shifted my eyes to my knight. “What about you, Sir Rogan? Do you carry the same sentiment as him?”
“Yeah, well…” he scratched his head. “A little. But that is not all for me…”
“Oh?”
“You just surprised me, that’s all. You know… this.” he held out his hand towards me, saying that all that happened in this room surprised him. “As for your decision… I never imagined it would end this way… Well, in truth, I didn’t know what to expect, so yeah…”
He wryly smiled.
“Is that so…? Alright then…” I shifted my eyes to the last one, one who appeared to be the most affected among the three. “Mera.”
“Y-Yes?”
“What do you think of this? To Allie… do you think it should have ended otherwise?”
“N-No…”
“No?” that was a surprise.
“I merely feel a bit conflicted, and to be honest, I don’t know what to feel.” she lowered her gaze. “Allie gave me food to… make amends… her sincerity was nice. Perhaps… I was expecting something more from that.”
She slowly raised her head to look me in the eye.
“But still, ultimately, she committed a crime, one that is unforgettable. One that calls for punishment. And now, her punishment has arrived. She tried to kill you, this outcome is to be expected. I understand this deeply.”
Her eyes bore strength and conviction in those words that she uttered, I almost shuddered upon hearing it.
What the hell? Mera’s scary! Bring back the sweet Mera! I don’t want this!
I didn’t expect this at all. Almost like she’s crazy or something… Oh goodness… At this rate…. Ugh, I don’t know where Mera’s heading anymore. Haven’t even teased her since, so why did this still keep up?
But I admire that loyalty! Good Mera! Good! Just don’t get more scary than this, okay?
“I understand your thoughts. But, things would certainly have this outcome... Do you know why?”
They listened.
“She tried to kill me.” I leaned back on my couch. “Betray me, and death comes to knock at your doors. Refuse to open it, and he will force himself through. Even if you appear to have redeemed yourself, your mistakes will not be overwritten, never to be forgotten, nothing will change.”
I looked each one of them in the eyes.
“In short, if you are a traitor, you will die, one way or another.”
There was no place for mercy on traitors. Especially to Allie that held no allegiance to me whatsoever in the end, nor did she grow to have. Also, she was my personal chef, she personally betrayed me.
She shouldn’t have done that, to one who granted her the dreams she wanted. Why should I give mercy to such a person? Those under me should never betray me, despite the doubts they may feel. Traitors pissed me off the most, more so if we belong to the same allegiance, to the same side, to the same group.
I hunted traitors in the past. They wanted to be free, they said. To do what they want, they can be happy, they said. What a mistake, they cannot escape from the organization, no one can. But the greatest mistake was their betrayal.
There was once that tempted me to join them, to escape with them. Funny. Believe me, it was a tempting offer, but it was foolish. I may carry doubts and was displeased at the organization with some things, but I knew where my allegiance lay, to the organization. Loyalty is the most special thing we can have.
Why should I grant mercy to those who cannot even set aside their doubts for their allegiance? Why should I when I was capable of it, where I pushed through it, where I set aside my desires?
There was no place for safety to the traitors in the organization, nor should the ones working under me now. They should at least have the decency to stay with the ones they belonged to, despite all the doubts and their desires.
Thus, those that dared tempted me to join their little runaway, I put a bullet in their skull. I killed all the traitors that I was tasked to eliminate, despite my miniscule doubts. Even if they betrayed for reasons like they found someone they love, they do not want to follow orders anymore, they do not want to suffer anymore, or to achieve their greatest of dreams, I didn’t care. All that mattered was getting the job done, and perhaps, teaching a lesson.
But, if one desired freedom, the only way was death, or perhaps have everyone believe you’re dead. But it wouldn’t be easy. If you were being marked to die to begin with, might as well try, you are already out of the circle, the organization has let you go, no allegiance left, you no longer belong anywhere. I was about to do just that when I died, where I thought I was brought somewhere. But hello hello, I ended up in another world.
I smiled slightly. “So don’t try to betray me, okay? Say that you understand.”
“Absolutely, milady!”
“O-Of course I won’t betray you. I would be a failure as a knight if I do that.” he awkwardly chuckled.
“I would never betray you, your highness.”
I nodded. “I’m happy then. Truly.”
Indeed, what a relief. Well, they have no reason to betray me, so all’s cool.
“Now then, all I need is to wait for the news.”
I returned to sipping my chocolate. There would still be some time before the execution, I need to find a way to spend the time. But ugh, nothing.
Read a book? Not in the mood. Sing perhaps? No, I’m shy.
…Nothing to do then.
And so, I could only wait in silence until the news.
Some time passed, and I was leaning boredly on my couch. In the end, I couldn’t do anything else entertaining because I cannot focus. Only when it’s done can I have fun. I glanced towards my servants, all now sitting on chairs here and there, I ordered them to. Would be cruel to let them stand in this boring game of patience.
I could order some refreshments, but I’m full from the chocolate. I have a small stomach, there is nothing I can do about that.
… It should be at any moment now.
A few minutes later, someone knocked on the door. I immediately straightened myself and cocked my chin, ordering Rogan to open the door. After checking who it was, he allowed a knight to enter.
Then the knight announced. “Princess, it is done. They have been executed.”
I held my breath after a sharp inhale. “... Thank you. You may go.”
Then the knight left and Rogan closed the door.
I leaned my back on the couch, my head facing up to the ceiling.
“Haaaaaaaaah…” I heaved a long sigh as I closed my eyes.
Finally…
It felt like something heavy had been removed from my shoulders. I never felt like this in a while.
“Princess, are you alright?” Vernon asked. He must be concerned by my reaction.
I opened my eyes, and I smiled beautifully. “I feel good… Vernon, I never felt this relieved…” I took a deep breath, and I muttered. “Indeed, I am so relieved.”
I have finished a mission, a burden has been removed. A threat close to me has been erased.
I was so fulfilled.
Finally, I can have a rest, even for just a little.
“I will go to my room. I’m going to sleep.”
“This early?”
“Yes… this early.”
All my appointments are for tomorrow, anyway. I left this day vacant for a purpose… to rest.
“Ah, yes. Do something for me, okay?”
I gave an order to them, and after hearing it, their eyes widened and they looked at each other in surprise.
“U-Understood.” replied Vernon.
“Alright then…”
I rose from my seat and left the room, while Mera left behind to clean up. I climbed up the stairs and headed to my room. Upon arrival, I turned my head to my two servants.
“Goodnight.”
I turned the knob and entered my room. After closing the door, I went straight to my bed, and I savored the soothing softness of the pillows… before closing my eyes.
***
I opened my eyes, and the first that greeted me were my pillows. They were quite in disarray, along with the sheets. This hinted that I was sleeping comfily, undisturbed, and deep… and well, fidgety. The best sleep I have had since what felt like forever. I felt so light, so amazing!
I slowly sat up and glanced towards the curtained window. Huh, it was still very early. Which reminds me, I slept around, what, noon? And I was not disturbed at all, even missed dinner. Magnificent! I slept for more than 8 hours!
I smiled in profound happiness and delight — so that’s why I felt soooo good! I have fewer things to worry about! Less urgency! A have thrown away the baggage!
I got out of the bed and pushed apart the curtains and opened the windows with powerful vigor. The fresh air and chilly wind instantly graced me, so pleasant and peaceful. This was what I have been wanting ever since I knew there were enemies in the city.
“I love this! Why can’t it be like this every day?”
I know there were still threats out there, but we ought to enjoy the present sometimes, you know.
Reminds me of a song…
“Hm~Hm~Hm~...” I bobbed my head gently as I recalled the tune. “Hm~Hm~Hm~.” I slowly made my way to my desk, where I looked at my reflection.
“ — Will I be pretty? Will I be rich? Here's what she said to me. ~”
I looked at my own face so beautiful, bright with a smile.
"~Que sera, sera ~ Whatever will be, will be ~ The future's not ours to see ~ Que sera, sera ~ What will be, will be~.
“When I grow up and fall in love ~ I'll ask my sweetheart ~ What lies ahead ~ Will there be rainbow day after day ~ Here's what he'll say to me…~”
I combed my hair gently and gracefully while I sang and hummed the beautiful song. As I did, I kept staring at myself — we only have each other, huh.
“Hmmm~ Hmm~...”
Sucks not to have modern technology here, would have been nice to listen to some music. Aaaah, I miss those. Sometimes it’s so agonizing to know that I could never listen to music like I used to. Now all I could do was sing them from memory just to hear them again. Tough times.
Then, someone knocked on the door, just in time.
I immediately went after the door and opened it, immediately greeted by sweet Mera, who looked at me a bit surprised. Well, I quite responded quickly and my face suggested that I woke up on the good side of the bed.
“Mera, good morning.” I then looked at the other two standing on the back. “Rogan, Vernon. Good morning to you two as well.”
“You’re in a good mood, princess.” said Rogan.
“Oh yes I am. Oh, Mera, come in. I apologize that the bed is more messy than usual.”
“That is quite alright, milady. It’s my job.”
Mera entered and began cleaning up my bed, so nice to have a maid, they just do every trivial thing for you. I faced the other two with a smile.
“So, I assume nothing troubling popped up while I was asleep?”
Vernon was the one to answer. “Yes, your highness, everything was alright. As for your order yesterday, Allie was given a proper burial. With her is the leader of the beastman.”
I nodded. “Good… Was there any resistance?”
“No, not really.” answered Rogan. “When the king heard it was your request, he promptly agreed.”
“I see. That is good.”
If he didn’t accept, Allie would have been thrown and buried in the middle of nowhere with the others.
“I should say, your request, I didn’t expect it.” Rogan said. “I thought you would leave the matter at that.”
“The dead have no fault… Sometimes, if you condemn someone in life, you do not need to condemn them even in death.”
Besides, I recalled what my father said… Truth be told, I was thinking about what to do with Allie once she was dead, but I think what I decided was alright. Some people just do not deserve the disrespect when dead. And, she was never really quite an asshole towards me, so I didn’t violate my heart to at least give her a proper burial.
“Woah, of course our dear princess would still be the same generous and kind person we have come to k—”
“Zip it, Rogan.”
“Yes! I’ll zip it.” he immediately straightened his posture.
Vernon sighed before saying. “Allie is currently buri—”
The moment I raised my hand, he stopped.
“I do not need to know.”
He was briefly confused before nodding. “... Understood.”
I do not need to know where those that gave me the most trouble were buried. I do not need that in my thoughts. Let’s leave things be now. Be happy that I gave you a burial.
Once Mera was done, I went straight to the baths. Oh, it was so delightful now that I didn’t have to worry too much. Wew.
After that refreshing bath, I went straight to the dining room, where my family was already waiting. I must have taken more time than usual in the bath, oh well. With a bright smile, I sat down beside my mother and placed my hands on my lap.
I’m so hungry, I didn’t get to eat dinner,. which was fine. But still I’m hungry now.
“You look like you’re in a good mood, my dear.”
I turned to Mother. “Yes, I am.” I giggled adorably with a pure smile.
With an adorable chuckle from herself, Mother patted my head as how one would pet a cute, fluffy animal. My hair was still wet, but she didn’t seem to mind.
“Did you sleep well?” she asked.
“Yes.”
“Good. I did take a look in your room, you looked comfy. I’m happy about that. And I’m sorry I didn’t wake you up at dinner. I just thought you needed the sleep.”
“No, that is completely fine, mother. I’m actually glad I had a continuous sleep.”
Amidst that, the food arrived, and we immediately began eating. It was delicious! Ah, I never felt so energetic in my life.
As I ate, I took a glance at my eldest brother, he merely slightly smiled, but it was stiff. What’s up with him now? I’m just gonna ignore him for now and enjoy the food.
Then I was reminded of something. “Father, has any noble head complained about what happened to their sons or daughters?”
“Hm, those that were wounded, none really complained. But as we expected, the one that took it the hardest is Welford.”
“Of course…”
“Alzen is their greatest prize, their pride in the Order. But at the state he is in, ineffective, I can only imagine how disappointed and distraught they are. I have a meeting with Count Welford later after this, to discuss what to do going forward. We’ll see what happens.”
“I hope nothing too terrible.”
“It won’t be. They can’t just outright blame us, the royal family, and hold grudges. Alzen’s job is to be a knight, such an incident is not out of expectations. We’ll be fine, don't worry, especially your brother Estevan.”
“Okay…” I then shifted my eyes towards Estevan. “I’m sorry…”
“It’s completely fine. Don’t worry about it.”
He really was the most reliable brother. He’s my favorite!
Oh wait, is it good to have favorites in the family?
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