Tearing Sanctuary
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Vol. 3 Chapter 45: Death of a God
🕑 Added 2023-03-24 10:06:07 +0000 UTCIt was a boring day, but yet it was peaceful. Boring is good, I tell you. There’s nothing to worry about yet. And indeed, it was a joyful thing to have. To chill and to do nothing.
Yes, I am doing nothing now but laying down on my bed even in daytime.
After breakfast, I went straight to bed. You can imagine how surprised everyone was when I said that. It’s lazy Estelia time! All by my lonesome in my room.
Been here for hours. Unexpectedly, it was more pleasant than I thought. You know, shutting yourself in your room. Magnificent. No one would disturb you, you had nothing to worry about, no need to be concerned with work. Being alone was the best there was.
Speak with people? Why would I do that? It’s tiresome! It drains so much energy just to speak with strangers, or any person, for this matter.
“Aaaaaah…”
I rubbed my face on my soft pillows. I hadn’t felt so good in a while. I should shut myself in my room sometimes, not talk to people, in fact, maybe I’ll avoid them. Yes! That sounds amazing!
I giggled.
“Hehehehe… No, wait…”
I paused when a realization dawned on me. I was falling into a pit that I might not be able to climb back up from. Where the darkness would literally consume me and never set me free. One that would bait me with the sweetness of loneliness.
Am I…
Oh no. This couldn’t be.
Isn’t this the way of an introvert??
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
I was never an introvert. Well, technically past Estelia was, but that’s not the point!
Nooooooo!
It can’t be… the dark side was calling me, dragging me to join their ranks.
Dammit, I can already hear their eerie chants of ‘one of us, one of us, one of us!’
NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
I rolled around on the bed while clutching my head. There was no way I was becoming that — there was no way I was also going to become a shut-in. It might not be now, but eventually soon. I was sure of it! And I couldn’t have that!
‘One of us - One of us - One of us!’
I could still hear it!
I’m gonna become anti-social at this rate! Aaaagh!
— No wait… What’s so bad about that? I mean, hehe, with all that’s happening to me, all kinds of people have been giving me endless troubles. Because of strangers…
And, and, if I just avoided people, wouldn’t that mean I would avoid trouble and stress too? Yes! Without people to face, everything’s peaceful!
Running away from your troubles is not always a bad thing, you know…
Yesss.
Looks like I’m staying here!
Shut-in Estelia is back!
I pulled my sheets and wrapped myself like a caterpillar in its cocoon. Where it would evolve into something greater, where it could finally spread its wings and flaunt its beauty for everyone to see.
Aaaah this is the life…
I was able to do nothing for a couple more hours. It was a great time, shutting myself off from society. Society is scary. It shouldn’t have existed, anyway. Society degrades. Society should just go fuck itself.
Everything was going great, but then my body began to go numb…
And when I couldn’t bear it anymore, “Aaaah….” I slowly got out of bed.
Shit, I still need more training. ‘But Estelia, doing nothing is not training.’ Well, all I could say is: You wouldn’t get it. Being a pure introvert requires conviction! Hard work! Doing nothing requires willpower and a powerful and trained body and mind! Thou shall need commitment and sheer fucking will. And thus the path to the end shall be revealed to thee. Wherein thou shalt be able to revel in a novel and exquisite new way of life.
Okay no, seriously, I need some stretching. I should get out of here first. Waiting for uncle’s work to progress was more boring than I thought.
I couldn’t do anything yet without that… well except going on a vacation. But my parents were still working on the plan for that. They were even kind enough to delay my lessons so I could rest.
I looked at myself in the mirror first and fixed my appearance. After I straightened everything, I smiled and winked at myself before going to the door. Outside, my servants were sitting around doing nothing, poor guys. But hey, at least you also got to do nothing!
“Milady…”
“Hello. I will take a little walk.”
“Understood.”
They all stood up, then I added, “I want to take a walk in the garden.”
That should be a good place of peace. Nothing beats a view of flowers and colors.
All of us headed to the garden, and there were no hindrances in the way. I don’t know, I just had this underlying anxiety that if I went out somewhere, someone would come running my way and scream, ‘Princess, we have a problem!’ or pop out from a black fog and say, ‘Princess of Blood. Indeed, you are alive, I doubt it no more now that I see you with my own eyes this closely.’ Yeah, I still remember that crap, the one that started it all!
I can’t help it, you know, the anxiety just never leaves. That said, when I arrived at the garden entrance, it filled me with relief.
I beheld the beautiful garden, colored with assorted flowers blooming beautifully under the sun. The wisteria spread all over and almost seemed to shine with great splendor. The air I breathed was fragrant and refreshing, almost bringing the vibe of optimism that nothing terrible was going to happen.
“The garden has become more vibrant than I remembered,” I said to no one in particular.
“I heard that her majesty the Queen has requested for even better care for the garden,” Vernon replied.
“I see. It’s good. I should come here more often.”
I stepped forward, ready to be showered in the smoothly sailing petals in the wind. To add beauty to the already beautiful garden.
However…
“Huh…?”
Everything darkened. The surroundings, the once vibrant garden, the world. Like night had suddenly come. And when I said suddenly, I meant instantaneously. As if the sun had just disappeared, like someone had just shut the light switch off.
“!” I was not able to scream when I suddenly felt a volt coursing through my body.
“Milady!”
“Princess what’s wrong?!”
“No!” Rogan shouted.
I was falling, unable to stay on my feet, and Rogan caught me in his arms.
“W-What’s happening to her?!”
I saw his worried face looking down on me.
It was a dreadful and agonizing experience, almost as if I were being choked. My body convulsed uncontrollably, leaving me feeling vulnerable like never before. The horror of the experience was almost reminiscent of a past trauma during my education.
I was having a…
“Is she having a seizure?!” Vernon exclaimed as he touched my cheek with a concerned face before raising his head to look towards Mera. “Call for the physician, go!”
Everything was so hazy, so confusing. I never thought I would feel this terrible again. It felt like my body was being torn apart.
“Agh…” I couldn’t even utter a word.
This experience, I didn’t want to go through this again. But why…?
“What should we do, Vernon?!”
“ — Wait for the expert.”
I heard their panicked voices, and through my blurry and foggy eyes, I saw them moving around.
My muscles felt stiff but also weak. Tired.
Why is this happening…?
It was then I noticed the sky had changed, my eyes widened in surprise and confusion. It was not only the light that vanished…
The sky was missing.
The beautiful blue sky, along with the clouds, all had disappeared, and the cosmos was clear in sight. I could see everything with no obstruction, the vast seas of colorful stars, and the ever cloudy and glimmering galaxy. The bare universe.
Vernon seemed to have noticed the strangeness in my distant gaze and he looked up. “By the gods…”
Rogan too was puzzled by his reaction, and he followed his gaze. “What the hell is going on?”
It felt like something was abruptly taken away… yes… I don’t know how I felt this way, it just felt like something was taken away from the world. An important piece. And thus, with the disappearance of that piece, the world fell in shock.
The sudden disappearance of that important piece, a piece connected to the skies, affected the entire world.
Rogan looked down at me, and his eyes went wide. “Vernon… look, her eyes.”
Vernon stared at my eyes, and his breath shook. “I d-don’t u-understand.”
I noticed that they were shaken. Almost frightened as they stared into my eyes.
What? What do you see?
“What is this feeling…?” Vernon muttered.
My consciousness slowly slipped away as I was still convulsing. Then I heard some voices coming my way.
“She’s here!” it was Mera’s voice.
But it was at that moment that I fell unconscious.
***
“Uh…” I slowly opened my eyes. At the same time, a sharp headache came to me. Good thing it was bearable.
The ceiling was familiar, my room.
“Estelia?” said a voice I have not heard in a while. “You’re awake,” he appeared in front of me.
“L-Lucious?”
I certainly didn’t expect to see him here, nor today. There was no announcement of his return whatsoever.
“Y-Yes, it’s me,” he was speaking weirdly, as if perturbed while he stared at me. His eyes shifted away slightly, avoiding my direct gaze.
I disregarded it for the moment. “Since when were you back…?”
“When they rushed you to your room.”
I slowly sat up from my bed, my body felt heavier than usual. Dammit, this always happens, one way or another. Just can’t catch a break with this precious body of mine. After I sat up, it was then I noticed my three servants at a corner watching me. There were chairs behind them, ones that they must have used until I was awake.
Then where did Lucious sit? Could it be at the edge of my bed?
“How long was I out of it?”
“About three hours.” answered Lucious.
“I see.” I turned towards the windows where the sun’s light was going through. “It’s back? The sun.”
“Everything went back to normal some time after you passed out, princess.” Vernon stepped closer. “Are you feeling better?”
“No.”
That seizure, that was so fucked up. Holy shit, don’t make me go through that again.
“But that aside, you mean to say that everything went back to normal? As in normal?”
“Y-Yes…?”
I have been noticing this, but they all seemed wary of me. “What’s wrong? Is something wrong with me?”
“Well…”
“Tell me now.”
“Y-Your eyes… they have not returned to normal,” said Rogan.
“What are you talking about?”
I moved aside the sheets covering me and got out of bed, heading to the nearby mirror. And there it was, my beautiful self reflected in it. But now, my eyes were different, more ethereal. My crimson irises were still there, but now swirling as smooth as a flowing river. And amidst it all were glittering dots, or perhaps, the more precise term would be glittering stars.
A sea of stars in colors of white, blue, and many more swirled and danced in my eyes, glimmering like what you would see when you look up at a clear starry night, gazing up at the universe in its purity. My pupils were no more but replaced with what appeared like a bright point with swirling gas — a spiraling galaxy. Almost like the cosmos was stored in my eyes.
And it was beautiful.
I think it’s pretty cool.
“You are cautious.” I slowly turned to the other people in the room. “Why? I don’t see it as anything but beautiful.”
They all looked at each other. The one to speak out was Vernon.
“We… feel different. We… we felt an intense power from your gaze. Almost like you are so far away… so distant. But despite that distance, you are crushing our…” he paused as if thinking of a word. “... our soul.”
That’s strange. I’m not exactly exuding my mana, am I? No… I’m certainly not.
“Is that so…” I turned back to look into the mirror again.
Whatever this was, one thing I’m sure, it was not something a human could have.
I closed my eyes to focus. If it’s not mana I’m unleashing, what was? I concentrated deeper. It wasn't long before I felt something else, and indeed, I was emanating it. A new kind of feeling, some sort of aura perhaps.
I opened my eyes. I didn’t do this voluntarily. This was reminiscent of the time when I first channeled my mana and everything went haywire. Was it like that time again?
Well if it’s not human like for this to happen, maybe my godliness had something to do with it? I mean, just a random thought. Oh, but what if it was? Even the stupidest conspiracy theories may be right, you know.
I sighed, another puzzle.
Aside from that, I still felt very heavy and I am sweating a little. I touched my forehead, it was warm. Shit, am I having a fever?
“I’m sick?”
“...Yes,” said Lucious. “That’s what the physician mentioned. You will need rest.”
“... Thank you everyone for watching over me. However, I request you to leave me alone for the moment.”
“Huh?”
“Please.”
“... Very well.” Lucious nodded and began leaving.
I then looked towards my servants. “Tell my family I’m awake. They will want to know.”
And with that, they all left. I am all alone now. I slowly sat down in my chair, still facing my reflection. It would be better if there’s no one here while I’m trying to get rid of these weird eyes, for safety reasons.
Now then, better figure this out before I scare away my family.
What’s the deal with this, anyway? Just pop up the moment the world fell into a crisis that most of the people here were oblivious to the reason why.
Ah.
I went to the windows and peeked out to look at the sky, and indeed, everything was back to normal. Good. I was just relieved that it was over. I’m just concerned because in that moment, I felt a connection to the world itself… except that connection was shock, a painful and terrifying one at that.
I returned to my seat.
I placed a hand on my eyes, covering them. I focused on the strange aura I was emanating, and I tried reining them in. It was hard to take a grasp on them, but eventually, after a moment, I managed to pull it back.
I lowered my hand and opened my eyes to see that, thankfully, they were back to the normal, pretty crimson eyes.
Filled with relief, I heaved a long sigh. I thought it would be as hard as the first time with mana. I guess I got more used to the magical things in this world.
Then came knocks from the door.
“Estelia, we’re coming in, okay?” it was my mother’s voice.
The door opened and all of my family members entered. I looked back at them and they slowly approached me.
“I’m so glad you’re alright, my dear.”
“What happened?” asked my father.
“... I have no idea.”
“As long as you are alright, my sister, all is good.” Estevan smiled.
“Even so, she still looks terrible,” Eleden pressed the back of his hand on my forehead. “You still have a fever, you should lie down.”
“... Understood.”
I slowly made my way to the bed and lay down, my mother drawing the sheets over me.
Then, my father asked. “Daughter, your eyes. We had a glimpse of them while you were being checked by the physician… Do you know what that was?”
“I don’t know.”
“You had a seizure the moment the world darkened… It has a connection to that, isn’t it?”
“I’m not sure… maybe.”
“.... I see. At least your eyes are back to normal…” he slightly smiled and caressed my head. “Is everything going to be alright?”
“... Of course, father.”
“Very well… rest tight until the fever is gone. Do you understand?”
“Yes, father.”
I really had no idea why all that happened, but I hope it’s the only time. It’s just never good to tamper with the world, it affects me as well.
Comments
Jonathan Wint
{It felt like my body was being torn apart.} Mortal Frame as was mentioned before can not contain the power of a god... She Dying If only there was a way the Princess of Blood could become immortal. I somehow suspect the Cursed have a solution. Take a Bite out of the Problem so to speak.
Tearing Sanctuary
Fixed, thanks!
Mitzee
In the paragraph after "Aaaah this is the life…" You accidentally created a clickable link "hours.it"
