rure
patreon
Thoughts (190)
🕑 Added 2022-10-08 01:07:35 +0000 UTCAinz's slow walk through the wasteland, devoid of any sign of life except for the guide moving ahead, was not particularly productive of new information. At the very least, it gave abundant time for Ainz to organize his mind, something that was very ill-supplied as of late as he kept running headlong into his subordinates’ troubles.
‘Not that I'm not pleased to find myself involved in the lives of my subordinates, the Servants.’ Ainz sighed – ‘But a little time to myself isn't bad either…’
In recent days – weeks even - Ainz had barely found time to do anything on his personal list of things he wanted or needed to do, while the list of things just kept getting longer and longer.
The very first item on that list, one that he had planned to do many weeks ago, was the need for Ainz to find some book on personnel management. He had found a couple of them in the past – but still could never find the time to study them. He was constantly either being caught up in his subordinates' problems or being distracted by other things – like traveling through Singularity in the past. While traveling through Singularities was an enjoyable pastime, if one wrought in danger, he didn't consider it time badly spent.
He could go back to studying the books at any time, but he couldn't always enjoy the vista of the past in person.
Furthermore, since every Singularity took him to a different time period, he had only one chance to enjoy his travels, and he would lose that chance once he solved the Singularity. Something which made him even more reluctant to waste his time in the Singularity reading books.
‘Huh, I guess this guy Ainz, who everyone says so much about, that he's incredibly smart and all his plans work like clockwork, really did have amazing foresight.’ Ainz chuckled slightly at his joke, whose humor would probably have been lost if he had told someone else about it.
‘Besides, let's just consider this as all part of my paid vacation. After all, I'd worked for weeks on end and deserved at least a day off… I hope I will be getting paid for this. Not that I'm saving the world for profit, but I wouldn't want to end up penniless either! Especially with his many romantic entanglements, he would need a good egg nest for the future, lest he end up bankrupt in short order after he finished his work with Chaldea. After all, there’s no way that another World Ending Event would happen so shortly after the previous one, if there’s even another one, right?’
Ainz imagined a situation in which he would not be offered even a modest payment for his actions in saving the world and sighed. What would he do in such a case?
Selling his items… If they were items from his inventory, if he could find things that he could sell, he could get some money that way, right? At the very least, if he got rid of the most useless items, he could earn some – selling items from Nazarick was completely forbidden, however… As silly as using such a powerful spell for such a mundane job would be, it still could be a profitable endeavor, he wouldn’t do it though.
After all, how would Nazarick react to something like that? What would happen if he sold an item from Nazarick, once it had manifested itself in this world, and then removed Nazarick’s presence afterward? Will the item he sold disappear? Will it disappear if Ainz doesn't sell it, but just gives it away or leaves it lying on the ground outside Nazarick? What about if he sold some furniture from Nazarick? The tomb would restore some of his interior daily as a method of self-repair, depending on the price of what exactly he had to restore, what would happen?
Ainz imagined himself as a home furnishing salesman for a second and shook his head, dispelling the thought.
Maybe he could perform magic as a method of gaining employment? Ainz rated himself highly competent relative to the current overall level of strength of the world so far, his ignorance of how his magic work notwithstanding – so what if he offers some magic services? Ainz's mana reserves allowed him to use numerous spells, some of which could be useful outside of combat, his various buff spells, for instance. Though, as a YGGDRASIL player was supposed to be, he was far more suited to combat than anything more peaceful, as even the Production specialists needed some firepower.
However, after once again banishing that thought, Ainz reassured himself that he was definitely entitled to some reward for his labors, and definitely so for saving the world, going forward – so such thoughts were not necessary. For now.
Technically speaking, Ainz, being Undead and a powerful mage – by local standards, at least – could afford an existence without money. He didn't need sleep, he didn't get tired, he didn't need to eat or drink, and his body didn't age, so he doesn’t need the normal expenditure for one’s livelihood. With his equipment having the wonderful property of automatic repair thanks to his mana, Ainz could afford to exist without money, but…
That would just be sad – and would cause considerable resentment and irritation in Ainz – something like thinking, ‘After all I've done for you!’. To receive no rewards whatsoever for the effort he puts into an endeavor was an irritating thought.
Maybe he should ask Olga? Not for a paycheck though, it’s not like he could spend it anywhere now… Although maybe not, asking something as inappropriate as wages when she was busy trying to save the world would only irritate her.
‘I hope I don't turn into a dragon with my desire to collect treasure, like in that one fairy tale. Volsunga Saga, I think?’ Ainz shook his head.
Hmm, now that he thinks about it, the movement of Ainz and his group, along with their guide, was quite leisurely. While they were moving fast enough, they could definitely move faster, the Servant in front of him either didn't have the usual Servant abilities, like their high speed, or for some particular reason chose not to use those. Something which annoyed Ainz a bit, making him feel as if he was seeing a loading screen in front of him. Still, because it also allowed Ainz to enjoy the time he had been complaining about not even having recently, he’ll let it pass.
Well, putting aside his worries about monetary compensation for his labors aside, Ainz could return to his long list of problems.
Excluding him, reading personnel management books on the go – what’s next then?
Ainz never found out what exactly brought him to this world, changing his body’s condition into that of an undead, abilities and other factors along with it. Not that Ainz could in any way find out at the moment, however, being busy with questions of Singularities and the destruction of humanity. Plus, he had not a single clue as far as research into such a vast and strange matter was concerned.
If you think about it, the power that brought Ainz into this world had to be far greater than his own, given the change in his essence and his abilities. The comparison had to be made not even with the World Class Items or the World Enemies, but with someone who wielded power beyond what is possible in YGGDRASIL’s view.
In other words, it had to be someone capable of influencing not just the world constants, but the very essence of the game, the admins, or the developers… But they were only normal people, as far as Ainz knew anyway. However, what about when it was not just a game, but the real world?
Who would be the developer of the real world in such a case…
The thought of God, an all-powerful God – appeared in Ainz's mind for a second, causing him to sigh.
If that was the case, there was nothing he could do to oppose such a being, if he really existed. But that was just one possibility amongst many – it could all be a completely random coincidence, for all he knows, some exception to the rules of nature and a million other reasons, just enumerating it, Ainz could feel his stomach begin to curl into an unpleasant tight knot.
Ainz didn't consider himself a religious man, not many people in his social circle considered themselves one really, and he didn't think that even when confronted with an almost omnipotent being he would change his viewpoint. All-powerful or not, Ainz lacked that spark of belief that some abstract being or concept, albeit one endowed with omnipotence, was exactly the kind of god that the rare believers said he did know.
Power did not make anyone a god, nor did a name or character… ‘God’ might have been an appropriate name for such a being, but there was nothing special put into that name by Ainz. And the thought of what exactly the being has to do for Ainz to consider him a ‘real’ god only made his stomach twist again before he dismissed that thought as well.
Nothing good comes with an interaction with a god, as proved by all the heroes he could now personally talk to.
What else, hmm? From the looks of it, if Ainz was approaching a mystical Assassin territory – he certainly couldn't judge it with confidence, he has time in other words before he has to prepare himself.
The third question he had was a question that had appeared in his mind with Angrboda's appearance in Chaldea. It was a question about his past and YGGDRASIL.
Until the moment of his conversation with Angrboda, Ainz had not given much thought to what exactly his actions in the past meant regarding his present. As far as he knew and was sure – he was just playing a game with his friends, after which he found himself in the body of his game avatar in another world with his old abilities.
Of course, the reactions of the NPCs and bosses from YGGDRASIL came to him as a great surprise, along with the fact that the NPCs and bosses themselves had changed. But their talks of world destruction, historical changes and the like, were already insane enough for him to choose to ignore the reactions of the past mindless mobs. He was so quickly convinced that his memories and those of former mobs were about the same as his. Though, his perception of mobs had certainly changed.
It would probably be quite normal to expect such a reaction from anyone if they once realized that you had killed his various versions thousands of times. Either for farming gold and rare ingredients, or trying to knock out a ridiculously rare and very powerful full set that seemed to fall just when none of the players were farming it, he had killed them numerous times.
However, Angrboda drew attention to another aspect, an aspect that Ainz hadn't thought about before.
What exactly was he doing in YGGDRASIL?
The things Angrboda spoke of were not possible in YGGDRASIL for a multitude of reasons – and Ainz naturally had no recollection of doing them. He technically could not have committed them at all!
But Angrboda spoke of them as a matter of course, treating them not just as something she was supposed to know, but as events of which she was a witness to.
This in turn posed a big problem for Ainz because it meant that he could not even rely completely on his memory as far as YGGDRASIL was concerned.
Which flowed smoothly into the fourth problem that Ainz saw before him – what did he even remember from YGGDRASIL, and how exactly should it be interpreted?
In YGGDRASIL Ainz ‘lived’ FOR twelve years and during that time he experienced an incredible number of adventures, quests of all types, battles, raids, dungeons, customization of NPCs and support of Nazarick. Even if Ainz simply began to list not all, but only the most significant and noticeable events in which he had participated in, it would take not hours but weeks of retelling. And in the end, he probably could not remember even half.
Not to mention, the tens of thousands of things that Ainz hadn't even thought about remembering. Could his old mentor-lich, to whom he had once stacked a total of about a hundred different magic crystals while learning classes and spells, be summoned as a Servant? With the Noble Phantasm from the hundred magic crystals that Ainz had brought him?
It was a silly, yet even slightly frightening thought.
However, after concentrating again, Ainz dispelled the thought of the random hide merchant he might have met in YGGDRASIL being summoned, instead choosing to focus on how his actions in the game could be transferred to the real world.
In the game, Ainz… Was pretty much like a lot of other Players. He would fool around with his guild mates, do quests, complain about new patches, and happily jump at any chance to get rare equipment, and he would breathe rage after getting another full raid wipe against bosses.
But none of that came up from the retelling of the former NPCs, people that paradoxically speaking he had spent more time with than his friends… One way or another.
Come to think of it, would Nazarick's NPCs remember anything like that? When he had first come to learn that he could summon the tomb, Ainz hesitated to summon Nazarick, fearing that at this point, all his life goals would be fulfilled. Something that quite possibly would make even saving humanity would cease to be an issue of concern to him.
On the other hand, Nazarick could seriously help Ainz in solving his problems. But still, doing so still carried unacceptable risks that Ainz could not afford. After thinking for a moment, Ainz framed the thought before carefully putting it aside, deciding to return to it later.
So, if the summoned NPCs seemed to be unaware of some very common concepts from YGGDRASIL and did not mention what Ainz was actually doing in the game, it could only mean one thing. Excluding the possibility that they simply chose to remain silent, the only option left was that Ainz's actions looked very different to the NPCs – not only in terms of motives, but also in terms of ‘what exactly those actions were’.
Angrboda mentioned that Peroroncino captured many girls during one of the raids, and, of course, nothing like that happened in YGGDRASIL – and there were no quests or raids that he remembered where such things were an objective. Simply by design.
Even knowing that he was an unrepentant pervert, Peroroncino was not a bad man. Despite his love of eroge and somewhat deviant tastes – exemplified, for example, by Shalltear - he was a kind man and a good friend, easily finding common ground with both Ainz and even Ulbert and Touch Me.
If, in real life, Peroroncino were given the chance of going on a raid – not in the game sense, but in the real sense – and were given the option of capturing several hundred women, he would not have done so. Even assuming he was intoxicated with his power – he might have created a very uncomfortable situation of insistent advances from which those captured could not so easily escape, but certainly not slavery and certainly not hundreds at once.
In other words, changing the perception of the NPC’s was not about the real personalities behind the game characters. On what principle were they actually changed?
Going back to the previous thought. If Peroroncino was playing a game, and there was an option to go on a raid – and Peroroncino himself knew perfectly well that it was a game, and the girls in front of him were just lines of code… Then yes, Peroroncino would definitely do so, in fact there are some eroges with something like that as a premise that he had loudly exclaimed its greatness. No, he would definitely choose that option, just because he liked it.
What he would never have allowed himself in the real world, while in a game, was something normal, that's what games were made for. They were made to get away from the sad gray reality outside the window and to be a little something you weren't – a mighty warrior, a dark mage, or just a man with a girl.
Ainz - Momonga - Satoru Suzuki was not so different, having picked an undead mage as his game avatar. Why? Because he wanted to be one – a necromancer possessing powerful magic, inhuman ambition, an eternity of research and accumulation of power, and black forbidden power that strikes fear into enemies.
In other words, when Ainz first started playing YGGDRASIL – he suddenly suffered a relapse of eighth-grade syndrome.
It passed quickly enough – but not before he'd created his own NPC, Pandora’s Actor, as the guardian of Nazarick's treasury with qualities that could only call cringe as his disease passed. And by then, Ainz was too used to his character as a Necromancer, as the Eclipse – especially considering that he really liked his race and the classes he picked up. He even had picked up excellent equipment for his build, and had fully learned how to press his advantage, he even did well in PvP even with a role-play build.
He simply didn't want to change the character he was already so much involved with. And you could only keep one character in YGGDRASIL anyway.
However, in that short time of him being the ‘real darkest mage’ and a few attempts at role-play guilds – it was the feeling of unease from those that dissuaded Ainz from his delusions at the end. Ainz roughly understood the role he would occupy in the theoretical world in which he would exist if YGGDRASIL were all reality, and not just a game.
As you could easily guess – in that light, Ainz was not a bright and kind existence at all.
Ainz was a little ashamed to remember his past from those days, but for the sake of an important experiment and for his own understanding, he had to do it.
Ainz mentally sighed, as if a weightlifter standing in front of a huge barbell before diving into the maelstrom of his own memory.
In the game, Ainz had passed himself off as a powerful lich – a black mage without a shred of human compassion or empathy. One that operated solely from his own understanding of efficiency and prone to mock other beings, be they stronger or weaker than him. He even constantly used cliché phrases like ‘useless, useless – you are so weak…’ or ‘look into the eyes of death, and regret every day of the life you lived that brought you here!’
No! Ainz even remembered the worst of all – ‘this magic is too great for a lowlife like you… I'm glad I used the weakest of all – puny mortal…’
The shame burned his nonexistent heart, and only the suppression of emotion could spare him from the pain rising in his soul, allowing him to silently exhale and continue his reflection.
And so, if Ainz had found himself in the aforementioned conditions at the beginning of YGGDRASIL that had turned real – he would have behaved exactly like that. He would hand out some meaningless orders left and right, mocking the heroes and acting as if he were the most powerful and cunning and intelligent black mage in the world. As he sat at his throne with everyone else not worth even one look at him.
A great wave of shame nearly gripped Ainz, but before it could run its full course it ran into the impenetrable wall of Suppression of Emotion.
So, with that in mind, he was probably remembered by the people of YGGDRASIL as just something like that – the most stereotypical villain of them all… He was even an undead mage made of bones to complete the image!
Medb, though, didn't say anything like that about his actions – talking about Ainz’s quest with her instead. He probably also had behaved like some low-budget villain in that quest as well – but unlikely in relation to Medb herself, given that the terms of the quest were very unambiguous. He, from Medb's own perspective, went on the great feat of installing herself back on the throne without ever having even seen Finvarra before.
In other words, while he would still be killing people with some smug one-liners like ‘wretched mortals, you will never understand the depth of my power!’ He was killing opponents in defense of Medb.
At least Ainz could applaud the fact that he didn't come off as a complete misanthrope and still did at least a few relatively good deeds – at least to some people.
At that moment, a great thunder rumbled in his ears, and he couldn’t help but shiver uncontrollably, in his mind at least – what if he could summon himself from YGGDRASIL? The cringe-line spouting him that had created Pandora’s Actor and had thought that it was the coolest thing ever?
He needed to find a sure-fire way to kill him before he could ruin his image in his colleague’s eyes!
Relegating that scary thought for his nightmares, Ainz instead tried to remember more about his past actions in YGGDRASIL to distract himself.
For the last few years in YGGDRASIL, he had been doing quests mechanically, not even reading into their descriptions, just looking at the conditions of success and then collecting the loot. But if Ainz strained his memories, he might remember a few of them.
Medb's quests he remembered because they were Medb's quests – they were unforgettable in the worst of ways – but what other quests had he managed to complete on his own that he could remember?
Ainz was trying to remember, before the voice of his guide, whose existence he had already forgotten, brought him out of his musings. "Well, here we are…”
Ainz blinked in surprise, and found that his eyes were quite irritated. He wondered if he had forgotten to blink because of his undead nature when he was immersed in his thoughts. Another thing to experiment later – he looked up, momentarily surprised as he came to see a relatively low mountains ahead of him and the small village nestled at the foot of the mountain.
“It is not our original fortress," Hassan shook his head at these words. "But there have been some problems with it ever since the Queen of Assyria made her claim, so we had to abandon it and look for another place for convenience, but…”
After saying that, the Hassan was suddenly silent, afraid he'd said something unnecessary, and then he exhaled. "Anyway, there's no one left alive there.”
“It doesn't look like an ordinary village," Medusa, who took a step toward Ainz, said with a certainty that made Ainz nod as if he knew something about distinguishing between ‘ordinary’ and ‘unusual’ villages.
“Did you notice, then?” Hassan’s words clearly conveyed an almost disarming smile in the tone of his voice – although one could only judge it by the tone of his voice, as his face was fully covered. “Yes, it’s the refugees. The ones who didn't make it to the Holy City… Or couldn't find the strength to make the journey.”
Ainz peered intently into the town for a moment, trying to see if his skills would detect undead like the one he'd met earlier that hadn't passed the Holy Selections either, but there were no undead in the village.
“There's a hundred, maybe a hundred and a half, if more came in while I was away." Hassan sighed. "All right, I think you can make it from here, I'll see you out – but I still have to get to Pharaoh… The Administrator will fill you in, if you want to know anything.”
‘Administrator?’ Ainz's mind stumbled over his earlier thoughts about god at that name, but he brushed those thoughts aside again. ‘I wonder how many Hassan even exist in nature?’
Ainz did not dwell on this thought for long, heading forward toward the small village, while trying to look for anyone who might look like Hassan the Administrator… Hassan of Administration? How should his title be styled?
Such a figure emerged quickly enough – and he was another cobalt-black man with a white Hassan mask. He was standing next to groups of moving people as he was clearly issuing instructions to the people moving around, commanding something at them.
‘I'm bad at communicating with important people,’ Ainz sighed inwardly – for the umpteenth time in the Singularity? Ainz stopped counting after a hundred.
‘Besides, I was originally headed toward Holy City in the first place… Maybe just turn around and head in a direction? But which way?!’
“It's strange," Medusa's voice distracted Ainz again, making him turn around. "When I look at him, I see the same Hassan who brought us here… And yet he’s very different. I've never seen anything like it before.”
Medusa's words were clearly not directed at anyone in particular, but in a way that could be heard by everyone around him.
Ainz looked up for a second before he shrugged – again mentally. ‘Perhaps it's a case of all the Hassan? They all look similar enough – except Serenity… so possibly only those of the same gender look the same? Although, Medusa must have seen the Assassins before – but she only reacted now… Is there something wrong with these two particular Assassins?’
Administrator, obviously noticing the appearance of Ainz and the Servants, managed to give a few orders before turning to Ainz. “I'll say this at least, you do not look like refugees, and since you were brought by the Diplomat, then you are also not the knights of the monster with three heads. So? What do you want, well, I'm listening.”
“Monster with three heads?” Ainz asked aloud before he started thinking for a moment, trying to remember if he knew any mythical creatures with three heads.
At these words, the Administrator only moved his hands forward of his chest before he held them out as if he were stroking a sphere.
“Ah, those heads…” Ainz sighed. Judging by the volume the Administrator had shown, the words about the three heads could indeed be real. Or the man was seriously exaggerating certain traits of this ‘someone’s’ physiology.
“Either way – we're only here for information…” Ainz didn't have time to finish his sentence before he was interrupted in a commanding voice. “Then go and annoy Spy, I have enough to do as it is – I’ll have to coordinate sixty more refugees without shelter.”
On that note, not caring at all anymore about Ainz's presence, the Administrator turned around and continued to give orders. Orders that, on closer listening, sounded like attempts to organize the newcomers in the more than humble village, which clearly lacked both space and a lot of other amenities.
For a second, Ainz thought about helping the Administrator as he did the previously encountered ghouls, hoping to get on his good disposition and maybe acquire some information. But he decided by the end that he would probably just go about his business from here.
Administrator - Ainz wasn't sure exactly which Assassin could stand out as an administrator, but the name certainly suited this Hassan.
Luckily, at least the Holy City was close enough to the location of the village, so it was likely that Ainz could just head there… Maybe he could even see the city with his bare eyes from here? It would make sure that he would net get lost again if he could do so, at least.
“Master," Ainz heard a voice, and it greatly surprised him. It was a voice he definitely didn't think he was going to hear anytime soon. No, he thought, quite realistically could have spent all his time in Singularity without ever hearing it.
“Arthuria?” Ainz turned with interest to find Arthuria holding out her hand with a pointed forefinger pointing somewhere in the distance.
As he swept his gaze to where Arthuria was pointing, he instantly saw a distant view of… a city? From this distance there’s nothing Ainz could make out, except that he realized that he was seeing primarily the white walls of the city, not the city itself.
‘Sounds like the Holy City really wasn't too far away,’ Ainz exhaled, feeling his morale rising from the fact that he wouldn’t miss his destination once again.
Arthuria's voice, however, spoke again. “My eyesight is not as sharp as an Archer's, but I would recognize the city even if I’m standing even farther away…”
For the first time in the long time that Ainz had known Arthuria – her voice trembled.
It was strange - Arthuria had always acted as if she didn't care about anything in this world. And perhaps she really didn't care – she hadn’t even reacted to the appearance of her son – or daughter, Ainz was still not sure, before her, and just one look at the city before her made her voice… Waver.
In addition, she was hesitating – as if he was struck by indecision, wanting to say something she didn't want to say, trying to pull herself together. To gather her strength to say something important.
But in the end, Arthuria finally lowered her hand and turned to Ainz with an expression even more serious than her usual one, before she spoke the next words, sharply, as if giving a verdict of death,
“That is Camelot.”
Comments
Kevin L
Well damn this will be awkward 😬
