i107760
patreon
DAY10.DIARY
🕑 Added 2022-08-21 00:41:34 +0000 UTCThis was a very tough scene for me to write. I wanted to show the distress she was in, the confusion, dependency, and jealousy she was feeling, and the realization slowly setting in that she might want something more from him.
Some of the text is a bit repetitive, I tried my best to avoid it, but it's pretty hard. The vocabulary needs to stay simple, and I want to show a stream of thought, and when someone is panicked and full of doubt, they tend to repeat themselves. Still, I tried to keep it to a minimum and hopefully kept things engaging.
In general, I struggled with the discrepancy/rift between what someone would think about and what they would actually write down in a diary. Their thoughts give more insight and make for more interesting prose, but if done too blatantly, it might seem out of place.
I also hope that her reaction is believable and consistent with her character (abandonment issues and anxiety/dependency due to that). I also hope that the trigger for her realizing her feelings towards him is plausible and that these feelings existing prior to her realization was foreshadowed at least a little through the way she acts towards him (unconsciously).
