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Homestuck: Alternate Universe PROOFREADING REQUEST

🕑 Added 2022-09-19 23:42:04 +0000 UTC

Comments

Honestly, I loved pretty much all of it! The characterizations are very clear and consistent, and the character and story deviations from HS feel intentional and well placed. Changes like Karkat's survivor's guilt, Doc being weird about June, and Gamzee having awareness of his anger issues give a lot of depth and relatability to the characters. One thing that felt unclear on the first read was, for lack of better phrasing, what level of 'Cringe' Vriska is supposed to be perceived as, if that makes sense? This could be intentionally vague, of course. Obviously she's an incredibly complex character, and her self-image & love of storytelling makes her an unreliable narrator. Presenting her with or without it makes total sense, I'm more so unsure if she's supposed to be presented as a kind of cringey teenager, or just charismatic and into her own hype, or if we shouldn't be able to tell as readers! Odds are how the lines are read could also totally solve this issue. I hope that makes some semblance of sense. All of the character intros read really well and feel super accurate! Thanks for giving us a sneak peek and trusting us to give feedback :)

Fursona Erchon

So I've read the Tavros section. The characterization feel really similar to cannon. I liked the bit at the end where Tavros describes Tinkerbull congratulating him. While I get that he is describing events to someone else I would have liked to have seen that part play out directly rather than just having Tavros relate it to someone else. It feels a little tell not show.