deervvitch
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Life Update - Patrons Only
🕑 Added 2019-03-03 06:03:52 +0000 UTCIt's been a bit so I'm going to let you all know what's been up with me!
1. I got a new PC thanks to my day job, and I've spent the last half a week getting it all set up. Today was one of the most needed 8 hours - getting my brushes set up in CPS. Usually I try to do some commissions to get my settings in order, but I'm already behind on stickers so I did a quick doodle for myself and I'll get going from there tomorrow!
2. Mental health has been really hard lately. I can't remember how much I've talked about this but living in the woods has been a very double edged sword. It's beautiful out here, the weather in the Pacific Northwest is incredible, I'm living in hand built cabin in the woods with my wonderful partner, our landlords are very kind. At the same time, I'm incredibly isolated, June's work is not giving her enough hours to be able to cover everything, our internet is -terrible-, it's much more expensive than we anticipated, and so on and so on.
3. I have been healing from intense art burnout from supporting myself for 10 years on art, and I don't know what do to about it (hint: i probably need therapy) - Having Telegram stickers each month to keep me in the habit of doing any art at all has been a godsend, to be honest. After work I don't really draw, I have been knitting and laying in bed. It's been almost 2 years since I got this job but I still am recovering from working so hard for a decade. It's really quite strange to sit outside myself and think about from time to time. I know I drew constantly for so many years, but it feels so far away now. I worry that if I lost my job that I wouldn't ever get it back and who knows what would happen, but that's very defeatist.
4. Regarding the isolation of the woods, June and I will be moving at some point this year. The time frame depends on if I'll get a bonus from work or not with a future promotion. If you are a patron of my darling June (https://www.patreon.com/JuneLaLonde) you can go hear her latest song about it. We're a little heartbroken that it's not working out here. We're nervous about what comes next. We're excited at possibilities. It's a lot. We moved here in April of last year and to be thinking of a cross country move already feels a lot like failure.
5. Despite everything, I'm still me. I'm very thankful to everyone who has stuck with me since 2015. The divorce was terrible, and rebuilding myself one piece at a time has been a real uphill battle. I feel more every day like a complete creature, but I suppose now that so much is going well, it's easier to see what's not working.
Thank you for reading, and please give a comment if you have a feeling or want to ask about anything or whatever you like. I miss people <3
Comments
Doe
It's okay to be quiet <3 I know I don't send a comment to everyone I support on Patreon one very one of their posts either, hehe :) And yeah we thought it would be worth it but when we don't even have a mailbox or trash pickup, it's been harder than we expected. Thank you Moo, I think about you a lot too and I hope law isn't too hard on the psyche <3
Moo Lawgoat
Thank you for the update - I'm sorry for being so quiet but I think about you a lot and hope things will start to improve for you from here on out. Your feelings about being in the woods... I think about how fun it would be until I remember like, having to drive because you forgot one thing at the store, etc. I hope you're able to get out of there soon, and that the next stage brings better things. Sending my <3.
