ClawOfTheFallen
patreon
Life update and Thanks
🕑 Added 2019-09-17 23:59:07 +0000 UTCI'm sorry to my patrons for not posting much here.
When I first conceived of this I wanted to post process videos of pics as well as wips. But I haven't managed a decent host for the full process videos that can only be accessed through patreon and my in-progress works are a bit too numerous to the point I was afraid it would flood the account and hold most of those behind a $5 paywall. =_=;
Life hasn't been very kind as many personal and family issues demanded a lot of my time to the point that I haven't drawn much in 2 months. I don't like discussing mental drains as this is strictly a "me" thing that only really matters to myself and my psychologist. Still... The heightened level of anxiety has held me back whenever I sat down to draw. ó_ò
On the other hand, I do appreciate every single $1 you give me, even though it stays around 20 dollars, it is a good handful of money for me since the US Dollar is always worth between 3.8 and 4 Brazilian Reals. 80 brazilian bucks is always good for a good meal, a handful of my favorite burgers, some chocolate milk (my creative fuel and one true addiction) or even a small gift for my lil' nephew (who's a spoiled rascal, but a lovable one. As his uncle, I do help in spoiling him, what else can I do? ;P). So I'm always ultra-thankful for every one of you guys that give me a buck. You do help make me smile a lot. :3
Even so, I have considered deleting my patreon entirely. I often believe I'm just not good enough to make it work. I don't promote myself, I don't have a schedule, I don't have deadlines, I have a real bad time talking about certainties besides "I'm only gonna stop drawing, writing and creating stuff when I die"... I often compare myself to a Torrent. I take a long time to finish something cuz I'm always working on a bunch of stuff at the same time. The bad thing is that I'm admitting that I lack focus, but I believe that the variety helps keeping my head creative. u_u;
Anyway, I have been always doing things. Even when I don't draw, I'm organizing my plans, writing concepts and stories, taking notes for pics and my settings, updating pics as I'm getting better at some aspects. As some examples: It took me a while to get biceps right since I only recently found some interesting muscle accounts on twitter showing off close ups of body parts flexing and relaxing, so I just noticed that I've been drawing biceps wrong; I also just recently managed to get some fluids stylized to a point I was comfortable with that didn't clash too much with how I draw characters. o3o/
I also got new characters written into the story of the Factory and Lipe's life. I finally finished writing Lipe's love life before the Factory and putting it all in order. I've been also feeling vexed about the whole Zanverse/Factoryverse thing and was thinking of ways to fuse them without the lazy "multiverse" cop-out. =3=;
There is many more big and small things, but too much to list. A friend told me to form a Discord server to I'd keep fans up-to-date. But I'm afraid it's too much work as I most certainly won't give 2 shits about moderating since it must be too stressful... (Damn, all this makes me sound a bit like a coward. But I guess it's just my anti-social tendencies speaking. I don't have much patience for social media bullshit, but I digress.)
TL;DR is that much is going on, I don't have much of a habit of blogging and keep personal issues to myself, so I'm sorry for being silent. ;w;
I'm gonna keep on trying to do better! n_n
I'm also gonna talk to some other artist friends with patreons on some pointers. >.>
Thank you all for being here and reading this! =D
Comments
I Feel you on this entirely. I feels tough trying to balance support and what art to share and it can weigh on you when you feel their support may out-weigh what you feel you are giving them. Its a tricky balance. Truly letting folks know how you feel about their support and what weighs on you was the right move. Keep on being awesome!
