Selude
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ALL EXCLUSIVE AUDIOS, RULES, SCHEDULE AND STORIES [MAY 2024] (New Patrons, Click Here~!)
🕑 Added 2024-05-02 15:00:06 +0000 UTC[Scroll to the end of the post to see a list with links to every exclusive audio available to Patrons at the 'Dreamy Supporter' tier~]
Happy May~!
I got so sick of wrestling with photoshop each month I dug deep into my administrative roots and did the schedule, story ideas, and rules in a spreadsheet instead. It looks so ugly~! :< I like making things look pretty for you all~
Hopefully the information is a bit easier to digest this way, would love to know what you think~
I am not sure about the sitcom audio. I don't know why. I don't... Look I am going to try and we'll see what happens okay~??
As ALWAYS, thank you for being here and helping me create lots of fun audios for you all. You just being here, reading this silly little paragraph, makes such a difference to me and I'm honoured you like what I make~! You're incredible, thank you again~
Re: the rules - There's no official warning or strike system; I just block Patrons who are stressing me out. I hate moderating people, please consider me reaching out with any kind of warning as something extreemly stressful.
Thank you for reading~! Here is the current masterlist of every exclusive audio story on my Patreon~! Please don't forget audios are also separated into collections now!
Current Audio Series!
The Crystal Garden Adventure! Which Hireling Will You Take? - 32 min
Previewed on YouTube? It will be on May 2nd
Synopsis: You're a Spell Sword on an important quest from your mentor, and you must travel to the fabled Crystal Garden to complete it. You've narrowed your prospective hirelings down to two women, the first of which is Chloe! You meet her at a local Bazaar, and she does her best to promote her skills while helping you shop for the journey. She also has something to say about your other prospect, a Bardic student.
Last Completed Exclusive Audio Series:
By Faith and Fangs! The Church Forces You to Work With a Thirsty Vampire Girl! - 1 Hour 20 Min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: You're on a holy mission to investigate a disturbing phenomenon in a small town at the far reaches of the Empire. There’s a contact with more information who will meet you there, but you’re shocked to learn she’s a Vampire! What are you investigating together? And why is a Vampire working with the Church?
Completed Exclusive Audios SERIES (Or 20min+ stories) Master List Current As of May 1st, 2024:
(Listed from newest to oldest, scroll further for shorter ‘one-shot’ audios)
Picking a Royal Bride! - 1 hour
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: As the heir to a powerful kingdom, you must choose between two (or three?) potential brides... A vampire and a demon~!
Saving the Empress With a Long Lost (Flirty~) Thief - 40min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: Finding a thief gleefully looting items from the royal art gallery is bad, but her brazen lies and flirtations after the fact are somehow worse. You're charged with guarding the palace and keeping the Empress safe... However, the thief girl promises to reveal a clever forgery she found in the gallery during her looting. Fortunately, she's telling you the truth. Unfortunately, the two of you uncover a plot to kill the Empress in the process...
The Modern Mafia Romance - 55min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: Being an underboss for a criminal organization has made you a confident gunslinger who lives fast and goes through relationships faster. But frequent visits to a local business (and the cute but grim-humoured manager who works there) have inspired you to buy it outright. The problem is, your purchase has tipped your hand to a rival mafia, and they pay you a visit. Can you turn it into an opportunity to disappear and get close to your crush?
Rival Diplomats and the Fruit of Fate! - 45min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: You’re an experienced envoy from the Kestrel noble house with a delicate mission. A powerful, long-lost magic fruit has resurfaced on the very border that divides your kingdom from its rival. Disputes over rightful ownership have already claimed lives, and the Empress’s decree is clear: a resolution must be negotiated before the next full moon~
Your Ex-mentor Tries to Corrupt Your Paladin Ways! - 38min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: A corrupted paladin mentor you’ve long adored tests your commitment to your knightly code in this fantasy ASMR RP! She’s just returned from her holy mission for the church and needs to see you in private… Are you happy here, serving your order so diligently? Don’t you ever want more?
A Necromancer’s Tale in the Cthulhu Mushroom Forest - 1 hour
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: You’re a newly graduated Necromancer tasked with supervising a special archaeological dig site for its financier, your aunt. The lead archaeologist takes a liking to you, as does her sister; a slightly mad oracle. However, the dig site itself is strange, deep within an enchanted mushroom forest. And something about the relic you’re unearthing seems unnatural and dark.
Exclusive Audio One Shot - The Necromantic (Romantic?) Dungeon - 30min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: Your Necromancer friend invites you to explore an ancient necromancer dungeon filled with treasure, plants, and crystals. She confesses her feelings for you, and the two of you clear the dangerous but peaceful dungeon as a new couple, finding loot along the way.
The Vampire’s Request - 46min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: You’re a Mage Smith, a crafter of magical items. You’re also one of the best in the world! But when a short-tempered Vampire steals into your room at night to force you to make something for her, it comes as a shock. After all, you live in Silvergate, the safest city in the Empire. What’s going on?
The Crown’s Devotion - 51min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: When a nobleman down on her luck hires you to escort her to the edge of the border with no guards or plan to return, you quickly sense something is amiss. What is she hiding from you? Can you trust her intentions?
The Haunted Garden - 40min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: When you’re hired to de-haunt the garden of a rich abandoned manor, you find the ghost protecting it isn’t nearly as deadly as she seems. Can your gentle approach to dealing with the supernatural win her trust? Do you have the skills to help her?
The Noble Rivals - 40min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, and it was very popular
Synopsis: The Empress calls on you to rule on an issue of succession for a minor noble house that suffered the sudden loss of its King. The only problem is that a woman from a rival noble house has also been assigned to issue a ruling alongside you. After all, if two enemies like you can agree on who should rule no one will question the decision.
The Legacy of Keres - 50min (story heavy)
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: After leaving the church, your lover, and your life as a mage scholar behind; you travel south to the ocean and find peace. But years later a member of your former church started a pilgrimage to find you. And she brings a painful, dangerous reminder of your past.
Druid of the Glade and the Noble Ghost - 1hour
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: You are the Noble Ghost, a famous rogue who was locked up after stealing from too many rich nobles. But one day, a beautiful druid visits your cell. She begs for your help to save her ancestral glade, and even has the authority to take you from your prison! But how is a city-wise thief like you supposed to help a Druid save her land?
Making a Deal with a Demon: 3 Demon Girls and Their Offers + Endings - 1hour 30min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, and it was very popular
Also, one demon offer was posted to YouTube as a complete audio
Synopsis: You’re fated to be the most powerful mage in a generation. But each night you’re greeted by a different demon girl, each with their own offer on how to help you and themselves. Each girl has an audio with her offer, and then an audio with her ending, assuming you took her deal. The length of each ending was determined by community vote.
Your Vampire Patron Longs for You - 46min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: When a wealthy writer offers to pay you to be her muse, you accept and leave your life behind. But one day you stop at a graveyard and everything changes once you discover what’s hidden underneath it…
The Loanshark and the Necromancer - 46min
Previewed on YouTube? No
Synopsis: You’re a Necromancer in debt to a bossy loan shark. When her patience runs thin, she decides to take payment out you in trade. But things get very complicated between you two, and her business becomes very dangerous…
The Love Letter and the Bard - 28min
Previewed on YouTube? No
Synopsis: A magical love letter finds you in the middle of nowhere, was it intended for you? Finding its author means you must take centre stage…
The Paladin and the Portrait - 55min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: You’re the favourite mercenary of a rich, mysterious noblewoman in the middle of an uprising. But when she asks you to reward yourself with something from her magic treasure room, a portrait of a beautiful girl comes to life, begging you for help.
Warlock Carriage Romance - 37min
Previewed on YouTube? Yes, click here to see
Synopsis: After graciously using your Warlock magic to help a lost noblewoman get home, she wakes up flirty and affectionate in this audio ASMR RP! But all the flirty comments are out of character for her, she feels so strongly about you. And so quickly… Stop the carriage! Did you cast a spell on her?
Completed ONE SHOT (shorter) Exclusive Audios Master List Current As of December 1, 2023:
(Listed from newest to oldest, some of these are very old and do not have a synopsis available. But I have left personal notes on a few of them.)
The Intoxicated Vampire - 7min
Synopsis: You leave the tavern with the rest of the bitter revellers during the once-a-year love festival, but a Vampire takes a liking to you…~
Ghost Story in a Haunted Cabin - 12min
Happy Halloween! The Werewolf Audio! - 15min
The Vampire Tax Collector - 17min
A personal favourite of mine, very silly.
The Library at the End of the World: Let’s Read the Book of Your Life! - 16min
This one was previewed on YouTube because I was very happy with it. I wrote it during a difficult time and finishing it made me feel a bit better.
How Would I Haunt You? Let Me Count the Ways… - 11min
Choosing the Cleric - 12min
The sequel to the jealous cleric saves you audio I posted to YouTube.
Sleep Treatment at the Magical Spa - 15min with 2min fade to silence
“My boss wanted me to tell you: If you’re unhappy with our services… We already have your money.”
Necromancer Girlfriend Gets Jealous… -10min
Witch Girlfriend Turns You Into a Cat! - 11min
The Intimate Mercenary Interview - 15min
Another personal favourite.
Synopsis: After intervening in a tavern brawl at dinner, you receive a late night visitor. It’s Ash, the financier of a famous mercenary guild; and she is burning to know more about you. If you answer her questions she’ll have a few offers for you…
The Loving Raising of an Old Friend - 19min
Very sentimental, if I remember.
Love Confession After a Failed Dungeon - 12min
You’re Alive! - 6min
Interlude once you’re raised from my first series, A Necromancer Raises You.
Necromancer Epilogue - 15min Epilogue to my first series, A Necromancer Raises You.
A Cemetery Tryst - 9min
A Shy Love Confession - 5min
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Comments
ChaplainBald
Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
Selude
I'm really happy to read your comment~! It's one of those ideas that's so dumb you have to try it...~
ChaplainBald
Can't wait to hear the sitcom story. I can already hear the "audience's reactoins" in my head. The oohs, wohoo's and the most important, the laugh track. "Tonights episode was recorded infront of a live audience"
Selude
Q&A is hard, I respect the he'll out of that~! 🫡 And you did it alone...~! 😭😭🥺
Riles
It sounds like it would be fun! The only admin position I've had was an absolute disaster– I was shadowpromoted to the manager of a QA department... because I was the only person in the department. And the other teams did NOT want to be on the same page as my (single person) team 🧍♀️ Needless to say. It was an enlightening experience.
Selude
Yeah I noticed it was fuzzy too~! I think something went wrong when I screencapped it~? I worked as an admin for a few years~! It was fun, I liked talking to people and being organized. But those skills come in handy for content creation too. You're sweet to ask Riles~! 🫶🩷
Selude
Oh god the sounds... I've been thinking about it lot but I'm 90% sure I can make it quiet~!
Riles
Oh right the format. Definitely caught me off guard! Pretty easy to understand, though, but I will note that the letters seem a little fuzzy? Idk if that's just me. Otherwise fine, you're already putting in more effort than would be necessary to just make a bullet point list. What's this about admin roots, though?
Riles
Now I know it completely defeats the point. But. I'm imagining the jarring cut from a relaxing narration as usual to a studio laugh track and I don't even think I would care if it woke me up I'm losing it just thinking about it.
