Battleforged
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Chapter 129 - Could You Do Us A Favor?
🕑 Added 2022-07-12 02:00:01 +0000 UTC“Thanks Drake. Sorry I zoned out for a minute there,” Eric said before flashing a grin. “And who are you calling little?”
His friend stopped, giving Eric a bemused once-over. For all that he was still almost half a foot taller, and definitely broader, Eric’s Strength was almost an aura at this point, just a few points shy of the fifty mark. “Certainly not you,” The man conceded with an odd grin. “You’re just radiating killer potency. Like a fucking tiger, Eric. Pretty bad ass, buddy. Or maybe...”
Eric raised a bemused eyebrow.
“A wild elf prince?”
“Ha. Ha ha. That’s too rich.” Eric flicked his lobes. “See these ears? Notice anything besides the complete lack of any bands or studs?”
“No points?”
“Exactly.”
Drake awkwardly cleared his throat. “Some of the guildheads were mentioning a Roundear Tribe. Vincent, he’s one of the guild heads...”
“Large dude. Looks like that Zeus actor from 5th Element. Married an elf. I know.”
Drake gave him a look. “Anyway, he and his absurdly hot wife both stopped by. Said Roundears are definitely a thing, but there’s only one Roundear clan making a play for Earth. Kinda scary intense, according to her. Guess what moniker they go by?”
Eric glared at his friend. “I’m so not listening.”
“Clan Silver. And their queen is the head of the whole freekin’ Sylvan alliance.” his friend said with a smirk.
Eric rolled his eyes. “I mean, at that point, what’s the difference between a Roundear and anyone else? Even Trek fans will admit that the alien hotties look 90% human, but there’s always something. Antennas, cool ears, exotic skin color… something. Diplomats who look just like my cousin saying they’re members of an elven tribe out for world conquest is like me saying I’m French, now kiss my curly fry ass. It’s not even trying!”
“Are you French?”
“No. Because according to my cousin giving her stupid spiel, complete with movie and fucking popcorn, we’re a clan of fanatic Roundear elves with a genocidal hatred of orcs. Do you realize how silly that sounds?”
Drake blinked. “Wait… your cousin was one of the diplomats at the Blue Palace? And they have fucking popcorn? Dude, I would absolutely kill for some buttery popcorn right about now.”
“Look, does it matter? And yes, the popcorn was fucking delicious. But the point I’m trying to make is that it’s bullshit! You don’t get to call yourself an elf without having some cool-ass pointy ears! It’s a fucking law of fantasy, as far as I’m concerned.”
Drake just stared at him for long moments. “But you do plan on wiping out every orc tribe on the face of this planet, am I right?”
Eric’s grin was all teeth. “You’re damn right I do. Every single last one of those bastards will die by my blade.”
Drake smirked at that, before flashing a thousand megawatt smile. “You know that doesn’t matter to us, one way or another. Right, Boyscout? Oh, before we get anymore sidetracked, Lord Grim wanted to know if you want in on the action.”
This earned the now bemused Drake a wild grin. “Hell yes I do!”
Drake look strangely relieved. “Good, good. He wanted to talk to you first. But the greenskins – I mean, Senior Administrator Squiglepuse the third...”
Eric couldn’t help it, he burst out laughing.
“Say that again?”
His friend smirked. “Squiggle—“
“Squiggly piggedly diggle, his flaccid rib tried to play the fiddle.
“All those bad notes he did make
“forced his hired help to take a break.
“And Poor Squiggly’s diggly had to leave half-baked!”
Drake stared at a smirking Eric for long moments. “That’s just… I have no words, my man.”
Eric nodded with satisfaction. “That's alright, my friend. Genius requires no words to be appreciated. It simply is."
Drake forced the world’s weakest laugh. “Sure, Eric… sure. Anyway, the rest of the crew and I...” Drake stopped, gently gripping Eric’s shoulder. “We’re sorry, man. We didn’t get a chance to say it before, and everything’s roaring at full steam right now, with missing apprentices and the opportunity of a lifetime before us, but I just wanted to say… thank you. Without you, none of us would have made it five feet inside that deathrap of a vault.”
Eric grinned. “No problem. Honestly, Drake, that note you guys left meant the world to me. I’m glad you all got out alive and with tactical packs full of the good stuff.”
Drake nodded, a maudlin look coming over his linebacker features. “Me and Louie, we stuffed an extra pack we knew we wouldn’t be able to huff all the way to Freetown, even pushing ourselves like we did.”
Eric nodded. “It’s alright. I got your gift, and I’m grateful.”
His friend flashed a sad smile. “But you didn’t get the title we did. You didn’t get to experience the fucking thrill of seeing literal mountains of gold! Stacks and stacks going all the way to the roof of the vault! If I could have taken a selfie? Shit.” His friend chuckled ruefully. “Anyway, I’m sorry you missed it. We all are.”
“It’s alright,” Eric quickly assured. “I grabbed a few other titles instead. I’m surprised Alice wasn’t grumbling about all night.”
Drake blinked, before cracking a smile. “Shit, bro. You make it sound so easy.”
Eric laughed. “Are you kidding? They’re practically giving them away! Buy one get three free! You didn’t get the flyer? Every human… I mean round-eared elf and isekai adventurer got one.” Eric furrowed his brow. “Must be your orc heritage. I’m sure they were left out, even the tuskless tribes with human features. We gotta have some standards, after all.”
Drake snorted, flashing a hard smile despite his grin. “Alright, let’s get real, Boyscout. You read the contract. You know what’s at stake. How many gold bars can you bring to the table?”
Eric paused, getting a measure of his friend. “I take it your read it as well.”
Drake dipped his head. “Mr. Grim insisted, since Louie and I are forking over our entire fortunes to this venture, along with Morlekai and Alice. Because if there’s any body of information that can give a couple of Basic Conscript idiots like us a shot at actually becoming players worthy of respect...”
“It’s whatever secrets you can find in that heritage library. The equivalent of a how to power level into an elite class for noobs Self-Tube video, but instead of the game of the hour, it’s the play-through leveling guide for the System itself, which the galactic elites are doing everything they possibly can to keep out of our hands.”
Drake nodded. “You got it.” He sighed, patting Eric’s shoulder. “And this is the hard part, buddy.”
“What’s that?”
His friend’s gaze turned sympathetic. “We saw the gear you had when we met up with you, remember? You don’t have any gold left, do you? Not one bar.”
Eric blinked, not knowing quite what to say to that.
“It wasn’t us,” Drake hastily assured. “I mean, of course we could sense it right off, but none of us used a Node skill to check your shit. Rather it was one of Boss-man’s… well… aid’s-de-camp, if you will.”
Eric smirked. “Badass assassin ready to strike any asshole who tries to take Lord Grim down in his own House hiding in the wing, you mean.”
“Exactly,” Drake said with a grin. “You see, this is what I like about you, Eric. You just get it. All this, it’s second-nature to you, somehow.”
Eric snorted. “More like my mom loved playing hardball with assholes far more ruthless than most deluded hardcases who thought they could get the best of her in the movie business.”
This earned a curious look from his companion. “Did they?”
Eric snorted. “My mom was worth almost half a billion before the world went to shit. What do you think?”
Morlekai whistled. “Sounds like she was a serious player.”
Eric smirked. “Like you wouldn’t believe. And she had me quietly watch everyone, looking for tells. Said it would help improve my sorry-ass excuse for acting.”
Drake winced. “Damn. She said that to your face?”
“All the time, and she was right,” Eric admitted. "And it didn’t do shit for my acting, but it let me spot a hustle and sense a bluff almost as well as a card sharp. And between you and me, I think that’s what my mom really wanted me to master. After all, who would know a hopeless actor better than her?”
“Harsh,” said a voice behind them, Eric grinning at the sight of a smiling Morlekai now walking in tandem with them.
“So, I take it your crow heard every word?” Eric said, winking at the crimson sentinel who had been trailing them all the while.
“Indeed,” Morlekai admitted. “And slipping my bird past hard-eyed elven sentinels completely surrounding Blue Quarter and Blue Palace was a definite challenge.” He chuckled softly. “And the look on a certain actress’s face when your friend quit playing around and actually began pulling out the big guns? Priceless.” he shook his head. “Irony is, last time I saw fantasy tanks that actually looked that intimidating on the big screen was in your mother’s latest blockbuster. Maybe now I know where she got her ideas from.”
But Eric was blinking in wide-eyed surprise. “Wait… wait, wait, wait! You’re saying there’s actually a fleet of high tech tanks in the Blue Quarter?”
His friend smirked. “Tanks with barrels radiating so much arcane potency even I could feel my sorry excuses for mana channels baking. I don’t know if that’s a good thing, as in I might actually have the potential to cast like my sister, or a bad thing, if whatever potential I had just got fried. Either way, I’m going to be making at least as much use of that Heritage library as my sister.”
A stunned Eric had come to an abrupt stop, however, as if only now realizing just how high the stakes had gotten as Blue Corp revealed what was definitely a hidden Ace, all for the sake of what was, after all, a completely unproven wild card.
“Boy do I hope I’m running on more than steam and delusion,” he muttered to himself, shaking his head.
His friends exchanged looks.
“Yeah, so do we, good buddy,” Drake said with heartfelt agreement.
Eric took a deep, steadying breath, realizing that even with all the balls suddenly in play, there was one more to juggle before everything could topple to hell.
“So. Let’s cut the bullshit, my friends. You know my backpack doesn’t have a single gold eagle sown between the seams. Just basic survival gear, and yes, some rather sweet wands I still need to get someone to show me how to use. Yet Mr. Grim was still perfectly happy letting me spend hours reading his contract, and you’re all escorting me to what I assume is a bigwig meeting involving this very issue. I take it I’m invited to join.”
Morlekai gazed at Eric for long moments before giving the tiniest of nods. “Correct.”
“So what’s the catch?”
Drake grinned. “Told you he was sharp.”
“Of course he’s sharp,” Morlekai snorted. “He would never have gotten this far if he was an idiot.”
Eric crossed his arms and stopped his leisurely walk. “So, out with it. What’s the catch?”
Morlekai furrowed his brow, looking a bit out of sorts. “This isn’t how it was supposed to go down, Eric. We were hoping for a few days to decompress. To bond.”
“And after that, what? Fill me in on some mission you desperately need my help for?”
Drake laughed. “He’s got us there, Morlekai.”
Morlekai smirked. “The good news about this contract is that we don’t have to pay the whole thing up front. We’re making a good faith payment of five hundred pounds of gold. One fourth of a ton right there, and the goblins will have a season to give us the library. From that point on, we’ll be paying it off as we can, since all we have to do is initiate full payment before the clock winds down on them delivering. Our plan is to pay the full amount in good faith, even if it takes a lot longer than those goblins think it should, by hiring out the use of our library to the Freetown Guilds. That should serve to both cement our place in the city and win us over any number of powerful friends, despite the handful of crafters who hate Necromancers because our wilder magics screw with the delicate artifacts they’re so desperate for vanilla adventurers to bond to, before they become worthless.”
Morlekai snorted and shook his head. “Pretentious elitist fucks, every last one of them.”
Eric grinned, nodding wholeheartedly. “I know exactly what you mean. Linus of Linus’ wands? He might be a big-nosed midget of a gnome, but he’s the biggest swine I ever met outside of Gilton.”
Drake laughed. “You got that right, good buddy! The ass doesn’t even make his own wands! Just buys them off adventurers desperate to sell before they destabilize for a song. His class abilities allow him to stabilize and enhance them before selling them for five or ten times as much as what he pays for them. So he’s making bank off other people’s backs.”
The normally mild-mannered jock’s demeanor grew cold. “Asshole’s profiting off noobs risking death, just running their missions. And the one young kid I met before we left for Gilton who said he thought he could stabilize dungeon artifacts just as well as that gnome? Well, turns out he disappeared under ‘mysterious circumstances’ during the time we were away.”
Morlekai furrowed his brow. “You know I’m no fan of Linus, but to be fair, anything could have happened during those months. Freetown, for all it’s pluses, isn’t exactly stable. You know as well as I that the only fools willing to dare the pods are either the desperate or those who were forced... and far too many gamer nerds and dreamers who think the chance to live the life of their dreams is worth the insane risk. Only other fools crazy enough to dare them are the most violent and impulsive of all of us, too stupid to measure the odds, or unable to resist the dare.”
Drake’s glare was unabated. “Yeah. I know. More than half of all surviving adventurers are ex cons. Just like us. I don’t care, Morlekai. It was Linus. I’d bet my last gold on it.”
Morlekai exchanged a long look with his friend. “Then we’ll get to the bottom of it. After we’ve squared away everything else on our plate.”
Drake held his friend’s gaze for long moments before flashing a pleased smile. “Thanks, bro. I appreciate it. Now let’s take care of boyscout here!”
Morlekai nodded, turning to a bemused-looking Eric. “Not going to lie. Your cut of the gold would have been the perfect buy-in for what we’re looking to establish. But shit happens. I can tell by your gaze that whatever happened wasn’t pretty, but the important thing is that you’re here, safe and sound, and frankly, looking stronger than ever. That’s all that matters to us. Even better, we’re perfectly happy to add you on as a beneficiary of what will be the finest Heritage Library Earth will see for at least a decade, if not a century. In return, Lord Grim is hoping you can help us with a small favor.”
Eric couldn’t help chuckling. “You know that whenever any actor says that line, it’s the start of the most harrowing part of the movie, right?”
Morlekai smirked. “No doubt.”
Eric nodded. “Good. Bullshit free. So tell me, what’s this favor?”
