Suede
patreon
I'm A Dip: Apology and explanation
🕑 Added 2018-05-30 01:58:45 +0000 UTC Sorry, no scripting today either. It'll happen when I announce it, just keep an eye on the feed.What happened? I underestimated how much the past few days would affect me mentally, overestimated my ability to deal with a shrinking self-imposed deadline and just plain forgot I was still recovering from a minor meltdown. I was a dip and I apologise.
Of course, when I say I'm a dip, I don't mean it as in "I'm a weak individual" or "I can't do anything right", I mean it more as in "I need to take better care of myself." Dealing with mental issues such as Aspergers in a career is tough: you need to have an intimate knowledge of your limitations, and when you've spent the majority of your life thinking you're just lazy and your limitations don't exist, it can be hard to deprogram that.
If I have to take a short break to detox my brain after a string of uncontrollable circumstances overload me, it can delay the script or episodes and yes, that can be annoying. But if I try to push forward out of obligation it could lead to far worse consequences such as sub-par quality, depression and ironically, far longer delays as I keep falling into the cycle.
Many of you guys cite my consistent output as a major draw to my patreon, and the reason I've been able to keep it consistent is through knowing when to stop when I need to. Those who've been here for a while know that I've had to take a week off every now and then.
For those of you out there with ASD: The difference between Laziness and Self-care is one of the most important things you can learn to distinguish. Think of it like this: Imagine a taxi driver who pulls a twenty-hour shift and crashes the cab after falling asleep at the wheel. Did he fall asleep because he was lazy? Or was it because he was exhausted?
It's unfortunate that I still fall into the trap of thinking I can keep going through mental exhaustion without ill effects due to always comparing myself with people whose brains work differently than mine. I need to remember that it's those differences that give me the wit, recall and personality that got me here, making money doing what I love in an exciting field. My figurative glasses broke, and instead of waiting for the new pair to be delivered, I held my head two inches from the screen and yelled "I can still do this!" as the eye-strain headaches started.
Thanks for your patience and understanding, and the delay shouldn't last more than a week (Not forcing a deadline, just going from experience).
See you in scripting!
Comments
Will Herrmann
You had previously talked about having a backlog prepared. Is that still something you would be able to do? If you are able to, say, create two episodes every three weeks (and stick to sitting on them, rather than giving in to the temptation to post them as soon as possible), then you would be able to both keep up a steady output that patrons appreciate, and have plenty of time to take breaks when you need to.
Will Herrmann
Given that the charges are per work produced, rather than per month, I don't think that anybody would object to Suede taking time off. Of course, Suede doesn't get paid then, so it's up to him if he's okay with that.
Is there some sort of petition we can create to tell Suede to take a couple of weeks off? I'd be more than glad to keep paying the same patronage as I normally do. I'm sure there are lots of others who would as well.
Ah Suede, I feel your pain. Take what time you need to recover, I'm sure after a little R&R you will be feeling a lot better. Do get plenty of sleep as well, speaking from experience sleep deprivation is never fun.
Amy Reynolds
Ditto what everyone's said! Take your time and be wise. It's actually really heartening to see an example of someone who can practice proper self-care when they face mental issues; it's an example that helps me be less hard on myself when I'm dealing with similar.
Suede, you just do what you need to! Take care of yourself and we'll all still be here when you're ready. Sending my warm regards! xxx
David Dalziel
Take your time.
Joey Bennett
Don’t sweat it Suade. We all need times to reset our batteries. I’m just glad you are doing okay. You are an amazing person who really cares about your work and I feel that energy and excitement when ever I watch one of your videos. I hope you feel better soon.
edmg7
check his Twitter, he already has
Peter McDevitt
watch the latest Pokemon reveal event from Japan. maybe that'll trigger some positive vibes. Ultimately though, you do you. :)
Kiaxet
Do what you need to do to take care of yourself; we'll still be here when you get back. 💜
