Suede
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"Sick Day" Post: Season 1 Marathon and update
🕑 Added 2018-09-28 10:17:18 +0000 UTC I'm sorry that I've been unable to upload very much lately. There's been some personal trouble that prevented me working for about a week, so I have to call in a "sick day" and charge for this post. I'll go into that below, but for those just looking for the content: Here is the Easy-binge version of the entire first season, part one of two. Part two won't be charged and it'll be up soon, it's just that the entire season takes about 16 hours and YT caps it at 12 these days. Episode 86 is nearly done and should be up by the end of the month.As for why I had to call in a sick day... I've been having some real troubles with anxiety lately. I'm incredibly grateful for the success I've been receiving, and so far I've had a routine that has worked for me very well and I've been able to push through it. But lately I've been having real trouble starting a script, even though I enjoy it when I do and have a wonderful sense of accomplishment when I finish. It's incredibly frustrating to me, as I'm lucky enough that I can pound out a script in less than a day, but when I sit down to do so, I just... freeze.
It seems like the more successful I've gotten and the larger the audience, the more my anxiety comes in to say "Yes, this is great, but if for some reason you miss THIS one, you're going to fall behind, and you won't be able to support your family, and you'll miss out on a job others would kill for, and..." then I freeze up, I don't break through the wall and it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy and an unhealthy feedback loop. I'm usually able to push through with hyperfocus caused by extreme stress and stay on track, but it's been happening more and more often, to the point that it's starting to get worrying. Before all I needed was to have you guys join in with the Watch Me Script sessions so that the live expectation helped me break through the barrier, but recently I've been freezing even in setting that up.
So I discussed this with the my ASD peer-support group, and they recommended I try SSRIs (a form of anti-anxiety meds), so I did, and for a while it worked great! I had less trouble breaking the starting barrier and I had a couple of scripts done on the Monday. I even found myself feeling less stressed in general, it was great. However, it didn't last, and I crashed last week, unable to do much other than sleep and pry a script out of my skull over the course of several agonising days. I don't know whether this means I have to up my dose, cut myself off or let it metabolise further, but while I'm getting it sorted out I'll do the best I can. Thank you for understanding and allowing me this sick day, and as I said the actual next episode should be out soon. I apologise if I've been quite inactive on any of my channels, but that's the main reason. I'm still planning the next script on the usual day, and I'll hope to see you then!
Comments
OH! Btw, Do you plan on doing anything Halloween related? :O
Carl Bloke
Don’t worry man. Take care of yourself and work on your own time. We’ll always be here for you
Nah man, you gotta take care of you first, dude. Take your time, move at your own pace.
StoryLover
Suede. Do not worry about it. Your health and family comes first, we'll be right here waiting for you to release your next awesome video.
Trey McGowan
SSRIs are a tricky dicky. I unfortunately wish I could pull out my butt which would be the best option, but honestly there's no telling which of the three is going to help most. With how long it can take for them to kick in fully, I wouldn't up the dose yet, though. Especially not without doctor's support. In fact, if it's exhausting you, you may need to *lower* it. Again, it's hard to say. I'm a person who has unusual reactions to meds, though, so YMMV. The last couple SSRIs they tried me on were... ah.... not helpful. One which caused hypermania bursts, and one which depressed me to the point I couldn't get out of bed.
edmg7
That really sucks. Sorry you have to deal with that.
Suede
Sigh... I've contested it, but at least you guys know I actually did it XD. Watch out for a Vimeo link soon, it'll just take a while due to how big it is.
I know this is probably the last thing you want to hear right now... but the video has already been Content ID'd.
